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... Send *handygirl a private message | | | *handygirl's profile:Hi everyone!
I am 53yrs old and got married for the first time at the age of 42. I am now in a pending divorce.
I have been completely on my own since I was 18 yrs old. I came from a very strict family, which also means that I was sheltered from the world, and was very naive at that age.
When left home, I had tons of adverse & dangerous experiences, and had to learn everything the hard way ... alone.
When I read a question that reminds me of an event that was in my life, or the life of a friend, I reply honestly, empathy, and to THE POINT.
We ALL need advice from time to time, that is how I found this wonderful website, because I also needed help.
So here we are... friends who probably will never meet each other face to face, but who are of great value to each other. I appreciate all of you! Thank you for helping me with my questions, and I'll try my best to answer yours, while looking out for your interests, also. |
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Why would my ex keep in contact with me if he lives with another woman, and did I do right in telling him to stay away?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, please could you help me with my problem. Any advice would be gladly appreciated. After 18years me and my partner have broken up. He has been living with another woman for the last two years, but he has been in regular contact ...
A. 8 November 2008: P.S. You ARE doing the right thing. ... (read in full...)
Why would my ex keep in contact with me if he lives with another woman, and did I do right in telling him to stay away?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, please could you help me with my problem. Any advice would be gladly appreciated. After 18years me and my partner have broken up. He has been living with another woman for the last two years, but he has been in regular contact ...
A. 8 November 2008: I think that is wonderful! I have a lot of respect for your efforts. And once again, THANK YOU.
My situation... I see NO evidence anywhere showing that my BF is having any contact with his ex wife. What a relief for me. As a result, our rela... (read in full...)
Why would my ex keep in contact with me if he lives with another woman, and did I do right in telling him to stay away?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, please could you help me with my problem. Any advice would be gladly appreciated. After 18years me and my partner have broken up. He has been living with another woman for the last two years, but he has been in regular contact ...
A. 30 September 2008: And... On behalf of his girlfriend, THANK YOU for being a decent person. XXXXX... (read in full...)
Why would my ex keep in contact with me if he lives with another woman, and did I do right in telling him to stay away?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, please could you help me with my problem. Any advice would be gladly appreciated. After 18years me and my partner have broken up. He has been living with another woman for the last two years, but he has been in regular contact ...
A. 30 September 2008: Good Girl!! I don't know you, but I am very proud of you!... (read in full...)
She's a virgin and we can't have sex because it hurts her too much. Any tips?
Q. Alright, so me and my girlfriend are getting hot and bothered and ready to have sex, catch is, she's a virgin. So I try to be gentle and all, because I hear it's sometimes really painful. I try, she says "OW!" really loud and I stop because I don't ...
A. 4 August 2008: You sound like a very considerate guy. Get some "KY Lubricant" Be verry gentle and slow.
When a girl is a virgin, there is a tissue that you break during the first time. Sort of like a "seal." That is why it hurts, and that is why she blee... (read in full...)
My friend doesn't seem to fancy anyone. Is something wrong with her?
Q. I have a question on behalf of a friend. She is 14 and last year she had a serious - I mean serious - love for a male actor (she is female btw). She often talked about wanting to bed him etc. However, now she has not mentioned a crush of any...
A. 1 August 2008: She sounds like me... I don't get attacted to too many guys. It is "one in a million" for me. She is just picky. I used to hang out with this girl who ... every day... pointed out a guy who she thought was H-O-T! I couldn't figure out what was ... (read in full...)
I'm getting paranoide about my boyfriend's marrieds, female friend. How can I keep myself calm.
Q. Maybe I am blowing this all out of proportion (past scars and all that), but i am very anxious about tonight... my bf has a friend who's a girl and they've been hanging out a lot, and enjoy each others' company. Also, they have nearly identical ...
A. 1 August 2008: Obviously I have had too many crappy experiences. Sorry for the negative advice. Go with everyone elses advice, and see how it goes.
Let us know how it turns out.
xoxo... (read in full...)
I'm getting paranoide about my boyfriend's marrieds, female friend. How can I keep myself calm.
Q. Maybe I am blowing this all out of proportion (past scars and all that), but i am very anxious about tonight... my bf has a friend who's a girl and they've been hanging out a lot, and enjoy each others' company. Also, they have nearly identical ...
A. 1 August 2008: I am the same way. I can't really make you feel any better. They have been hanging out alot? What IS THAT? Maybe you should research "Emotional Affair" on the internet. Here is a link.... http://www.shirleyglass.com/introduction.htm ... (read in full...)
I texted my ex happy birthday and he didn't even reply. Why would he just ignore me?
Q. Hello, I hope someone can help me. I feel I have no-one I can talk to about this and its churning around in my head. My ex and I split up some months ago and since then we have had very little contact. today was the first birthday he has had since ...
A. 1 August 2008: He is after all... your EX. He has his own path to follow now. And so do you.... (read in full...)
I feel controlled by my girlfriend, but I wonder if I am the one in the wrong.
Q. Hi, I'm having problems with my girlfriend but im not sure if it is me who is in the wrong. I'm 30 and she is nearly 27. We have been going out 4 mths now, and I normally see her a few times a week. However she doesnt like me arranging social a...
A. 1 August 2008: You social events... are there only guys? Because if there are females included, then she should go too. She should not be excluded from mixed gender events.
My boyfriend goes out with his buddies every now and then, and he also goes on 2 day trip... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband's relative to stop flirting with me?
Q. I have an issue, one of my relative's husband constantly keeps flirting with me. It's to the the point where it's getting out of control. I've repeatedly asked him to stop. The funny thing is that he never acted this way in the beginning. He ...
A. 30 July 2008: Don't be afraid to hurt his feelings. Sometimes THAT is what it takes to keep a perv like him away from you!... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband's relative to stop flirting with me?
Q. I have an issue, one of my relative's husband constantly keeps flirting with me. It's to the the point where it's getting out of control. I've repeatedly asked him to stop. The funny thing is that he never acted this way in the beginning. He ...
A. 30 July 2008: Get MAD!! Say "Knock it off!" "Don't touch me!!" Say it verry loud so that other people can hear it. Ignore his text messages. Or better yet, Save them, and tell him that if he doesn't stop, you will reveal them to EVERYONE!
Also tell him "You... (read in full...)
I get upset when my BF starts joking with his friends' girlfriends, could you offer your point of view?
Q. I do not know if I am the problem or not but everytime we meet with my boyfriends' friends I get upset that my boyfriend starts joking with their girlfriends. I feel not respected and the problem is that one of them even touches my boyfriend or sits...
A. 30 July 2008: I am the same way. Welcome to the Club of "Stay away from my Boyfriend... You Sleeze!" ha ha
Really though, my boyfriend is the same way. An extrovert. Very friendly, doesn't matter what gender he talks to, just as long as there is someone fres... (read in full...)
We met online, he just told me he loved me, we're going to meet up soon. But will it work?
Q. i met this guy on habbo about 2 and half years ago now. We started speaking on msn then too. Now he's the same age as me. And i have developed strong feeling over the past years or so and the other day he was tipsy and he said 'sorry i'm a little ...
A. 29 July 2008: Do you know who this guy really is? If he sent you a picture of himself, is it really HIM? There are a lot of people who do not display a REAL picture of themselves. Do you have proof of he real age? You don't know these things, really, do you? ... (read in full...)
I had an affair but want things to work wit my abusive husband so do I tell him?
Q. Hi, So here goes a long story. Ive been married for 9years, about two yrs ago things started to go a bit stale, my husband and i did very little together, it felt like we were living separte lives, anytime i tried to discuss it he would jus...
A. 29 July 2008: Don't tell your husband about the affair. NOOOO! You could put yourself at physical risk if you told him about THIS... Especially if he throws things when he looses his temper over smaller issues. THAT in itself is an example that things could be ... (read in full...)
How do you know if you are ready for sex?
Q. how do you know if your ready for sex???...
A. 29 July 2008: You are about 12 yrs old and you are thinking about sex??? Honey, what is the rush?
I notice that you live in the USA. Well in this country, anyone who would have sex with you would get into BIG trouble. They could get arrested and go to jail... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is pregnant and I don't find her sexually attractive anymore... how do I deal?
Q. My girlfriend is pregnant. She's about 4 months along, and her stomach is getting bigger. I think it's glorious that she's carrying our child but for the past month or so I haven't found her very sexually attractive. I have started flirting with a ...
A. 29 July 2008: RIGHT ON Uncle Phil! I Love You!
And may I add... If this other girl could see this letter that you wrote to us... if she had any decent bone in her body... she would dump you as though you were a pile of "Dog Poo" covered in maggots! (gross pict... (read in full...)
Not ready for sex and too scared to tell my boyfriend...
Q. im not ready to have sex but my boyfriend is and i don't want to tell him what should i do...
A. 29 July 2008: Your FIRST time should be a good experience. If not, it will affect your outlook on sex for a long time.
If you are not ready, don't feel pressured into submitting. It is YOUR body. Respect it, and yourself.
Calmly tell your boyfriend that you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is pregnant and I don't find her sexually attractive anymore... how do I deal?
Q. My girlfriend is pregnant. She's about 4 months along, and her stomach is getting bigger. I think it's glorious that she's carrying our child but for the past month or so I haven't found her very sexually attractive. I have started flirting with a ...
A. 29 July 2008: What kind of man are you?! SHAME ON YOU! Stop this nonsense with this other woman right now!
Put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes. Think of yourself as being pregnant...getting bigger every day, and having a boyfriend who isn't MAN ENOUGH to s... (read in full...)
My dad is cheating on my mum. Who can I speak to about it?
Q. I'm 15, Me and my older brother saw texts on my dad's fone to another woman saying 'Honey, I love you'. My parents are still together, but my mum doesn not know. My brother and I confronted him RIGHT now and he lied, we showed him the texts and...
A. 25 July 2008: Did you get the phone number? GET IT! Keep 2 copies, one that you confront your dad with, and one that you keep hidden in a safe spot. Demand an explanation! If it were me, I would call the lady, and ask her to explain. This may be bad advise, ... (read in full...)
Tempted by a married man, what should I do?
Q. Hi Everyone! Any help with this situation would be muchly appreciated! For years I have liked this guy who is 16yrs older than me and married =(, i tried my best to forget about him, but everytime i saw him it was back to square one. One day ...
A. 25 July 2008: P.S. I forgot to add that the married man that I had an affair with, I found out that He was messing around with 2 other girls the same time that he and I were seeing each other. That is how my girlfriend found out about him, because one of the ... (read in full...)
Tempted by a married man, what should I do?
Q. Hi Everyone! Any help with this situation would be muchly appreciated! For years I have liked this guy who is 16yrs older than me and married =(, i tried my best to forget about him, but everytime i saw him it was back to square one. One day ...
A. 25 July 2008: Wow! I agree strongly with both "Tisha-1" and "Keria." Both have very valid points and are very well written.
I on the other hand, can't add too much to what they already said to you. TAKE THEIR ADVISE! Think logically and about what is best... (read in full...)
I have sexual feelings for my cousin, I'm going to tell her how I feel at a movie... How do I ask her to sleep with me?
Q. Alright, so here's my problem........I've always had sexual feelings for my second cousin.......I'm 18 and shes 27..........when we were younger, I remember her asking me to kiss her on her mouth, I never thought anything of it then but now I ...
A. 25 July 2008: I had a crush on my cousin once. I don't beleive in it being right to take it any further. It is YOUR life. Live it the way you want.
Tell her how you feel... see what happens.
... (read in full...)
What am I to her now? Not even a friend? Is it best to walk away without a word?
Q. I have been together with my girlfriend for a year. Until few months ago, I moved for working and no longer meet each other that often. We still talk to each other on phone everyday. Last month, she told me she is going to vacation on the ...
A. 25 July 2008: If anything...you need closure. In other words, don't just walk away without a word. Ask her how she feels about this guy. Ask her how she feels about you. Ask her if it is over between you and her. If she says that it is... then tell her that ... (read in full...)
My husband told me he is attracted to her but they are only friends, do I have reasons to worry?
Q. my husband of 19 years met a 23 year old waitress in our local cafe. She has sinced moved to another state but they talk to each other 3-4 times a day. He seems to get upset when i ask if he has talked to her and what they talked about. he has ...
A. 24 July 2008: I agree strongly with "Ask older sister", and everyone else who answered you.
He is having an Emotional Affair. If a "Physical Affair" hasn't happened yet, expect it, unless he puts a halt to this thing.
See if you can get him to go to a Marriage... (read in full...)
My husband is acting suspiciously again. Any sound advice?
Q. I have been married for 18 years, and dated this same man for almost 10 years. He has always been a player and I have always been played somehow. He can control me, manipulate me, and belittle me. At the same time, he can sweet talk me, great in...
A. 24 July 2008: I agree with the previous answerer about investigating and evidence. You can go to the "whitepages.com" and do a reverse phone number lookup. If you can afford a PI, do it. Phone the number and see if a female answers.
I also take back some of my a... (read in full...)
My husband is acting suspiciously again. Any sound advice?
Q. I have been married for 18 years, and dated this same man for almost 10 years. He has always been a player and I have always been played somehow. He can control me, manipulate me, and belittle me. At the same time, he can sweet talk me, great in...
A. 23 July 2008: I am a little sneaky-agressive when it comes to things like this.
If it were me, I would get the phone number, then find a payphone somewhere and call the number to see who it is. I then would say " hi Sandy, how are you?" Then she would say " yo... (read in full...)
I've just found out his passwords - do I sneak a peak at his emails?
Q. I'm having another moral crisis in my relationship, and dont know what to do... I've known my boyfriend for aboutfour years, we've been in a relationship for nearly two. Basically at Christmas last year I saw he had messaged one of his ex girlfrie...
A. 22 July 2008: I AM A PEEKER! If it were me, I wouldn't be able to resist, because in my mind, THAT is the only way to find out what is REALLY going on. The truth is there to find out. A lot of people will think I am wrong, But... Oh well! ha ha! ... (read in full...)
If a man keeps talking to your mom does that signal that he is interested?
Q. If a man keeps talking to your mom dose that signal that he is interested? Hi my mom and I go to this resturant all the time and I can't tell if this guy is interested in me. He seemed to have be a little flirty but now every time we go in he talks...
A. 22 July 2008: If he is around YOUR age, Then he is just being nice to your mom as a customer. That is what waiters do to get their tips. ... (read in full...)
If a man keeps talking to your mom does that signal that he is interested?
Q. If a man keeps talking to your mom dose that signal that he is interested? Hi my mom and I go to this resturant all the time and I can't tell if this guy is interested in me. He seemed to have be a little flirty but now every time we go in he talks...
A. 21 July 2008: How old is this guy? If he is around your mom's age, then perhaps he is interested in her. OR maybe she is a decent tipper, and he wants to make sure that she keeps coming back when he is working.... (read in full...)
Have I got trust issues? I don't want him back, and don't want to be friends, I just want back my money. Is it me with the problem here?
Q. How do you get someone to see that you're not trying to twist things and make it look like 'its them' with the problem? Brief history, split with someone after nearly 2 yrs who lied in the early days. We had split after a yr, i found out he lied, ...
A. 21 July 2008: Make up a story to get your money back. Tell him you need to pay overdue bills or your electricity, phone, gas, and what ever else will get shut off. It is an emergency, and you need your money back! Make it sound as horrible as possible.
T... (read in full...)
Are We Bullys?
Q. There is a girl in my school year lets call her Asher, she doesnt have many friends because of the things she has done in the past, she stole £40 out of my friends pencil case, £40 out of my friends purse while she went to the toilet, £20 out of my ...
A. 21 July 2008: This girl sounds mentally unstable and you should stay away from her. There is NO excuse for stealing, no matter how someone tries to justify it. AND being a compulsive liar is not a good character trait either. Someone who is like that can not be ... (read in full...)
Please, could you give me advice on how to lose weight? Particularly the areas of the stomach and face worry me!
Q. Hi can you give me some advice on how to lose weight, i dont want to loose alot, im 17 and nearly 10 stone and before i was only 9 n half at the max! I have started cutting out some foods, just trying to eat 3 meals a day because i did used to eat ...
A. 18 July 2008: To make a physical difference, you have to work out consistantly at least 3-4 times a week. I have been working out for years, and I have read a lot of books and articles on the subject.
Weight-Training is great. You don't have to use HEAVY weig... (read in full...)
Why would my ex keep in contact with me if he lives with another woman, and did I do right in telling him to stay away?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, please could you help me with my problem. Any advice would be gladly appreciated. After 18years me and my partner have broken up. He has been living with another woman for the last two years, but he has been in regular contact ...
A. 18 July 2008: I agree with the anonymous answerer below....... (read in full...)
Why would my ex keep in contact with me if he lives with another woman, and did I do right in telling him to stay away?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, please could you help me with my problem. Any advice would be gladly appreciated. After 18years me and my partner have broken up. He has been living with another woman for the last two years, but he has been in regular contact ...
A. 18 July 2008: I Love You! Thanks for being a GOOD person!... (read in full...)
Can going to the gym ONCE on a serious work out make ANY visible difference?
Q. Exactly what the title says really, my friend has a free pass for the gym and told me to go with her to give it a try, I am allowed to stay as long as I want for the day at the gym, and I know this is a stupid question but I just wanted to double...
A. 18 July 2008: To make a physical difference, you have to work out consistantly at least 3-4 times a week. I have been working out for years, and I have read a lot of books and articles on the subject.
Weight-Training is great. You don't have to use HEAVY weig... (read in full...)
Why would my ex keep in contact with me if he lives with another woman, and did I do right in telling him to stay away?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, please could you help me with my problem. Any advice would be gladly appreciated. After 18years me and my partner have broken up. He has been living with another woman for the last two years, but he has been in regular contact ...
A. 18 July 2008: I am in the same situation, exept I am the girlfriend. My BF can't visit his ex wife because she lives in a different state,and is remarried with a child. I told her to leave us alone, but she won't. I HATE her for not respecting my feelings. ... (read in full...)
Does my friend's husband have a real emotional attachment to me? Or was it just a bit of physical attraction?
Q. I have a friend ,whom I know since last 4-5 yrs,me n his wife r really gud friend actually all of us (me n my hubby he and his wife)are really close friends .But 2 months back I was alone with him for beer ,then he lost his control once but some how ...
A. 18 July 2008: What are you DOING? You said that his wife is a good friend, but it doesn't sound to me as though it is a 2 way street.
How would you like it if your friend was doing this to you behind your back?
I am being blunt, not to be hurtful, but to menta... (read in full...)
My Virgin Bride was not a Virgin. How do I cope?
Q. Hi, like many other guys I have a problem with my wifes past. I met her 25 years ago, she was 17 and I was 19. we hit it off right from the start and fell in love. we now have 2 kids aged 10 and 12. Every thing was fine until I asked her...
A. 17 July 2008: I would have lied too if I was 17-18 and was in love with the man that I would spend the rest of my life with ... for fear that he would think I was a tramp.
COME ON...You have been married for 25 years and you are happy and with 2 kids..
Do yo... (read in full...)
Could I go out with a younger guy?
Q. Hiya, Theres this guy i work with and well lately we've been talking a lot and getting quite close. Hes such a nice guy and were getting along so well. The thing is.. hes 17, 18 next april and i'm 18, 19 in two months. People keep saying you c...
A. 17 July 2008: Two years is not THAT much of a difference! But, since he is only 17, legally you could get into trouble if you have sex with him, because he is still a minor. You can not get physical until he is 18.
My boyfriend is 12 years younger than me. I am... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stares at other women... should I be worried?
Q. My fiance and I are preparing to get married next year. We live together and are very much in love. The thing that bothers me is that whenever we are driving places together... he stares so much at other women. He stares into cars, women walking ...
A. 17 July 2008: My boyfriend is the exact same way. And it is a issue with me too! If you click onto my name... and go into my column, you will see that I wrote about the exact same thing.
I told my boyfriend that glancing is one thing, but his gawking deep... (read in full...)
Any advice on how I can deal with this crisis of self-confidence?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend which hurt me a lot but I was very lucky to find a really nice guy right afterwards. I like him a lot, but he just makes me feel so insecure that I'm having a really hard time being with him. I'm really sma...
A. 15 July 2008: Don't have him on such a huge pedestal!
My mother always told me, " No one has the capability to LAY GOLDEN EGGS, we are all the same."
He is smart? Good! He has a great job? Good! Mature and emotionally stable? Thank God!!!
Relax and enjoy!... (read in full...)
I'm clueless! I asked a girl out and couldn't believe she said yes! Now what do I do?
Q. Hi there, I recently asked a girl out and I couldn't beleive it when she said yes. However, I don't know where to take her or what to do (I'm clueless!) So women, what would you want to do and where would you want a guy to take you on a firs...
A. 15 July 2008: I agree with birdynumnums.
I want to add on... First date should be FUN. Take her out dancing, if you know how to dance. Or take her to a circus, or how about a restaurant with Live Music. Or some type of concert. Or an Amusement Park.... (read in full...)
What do you think about the situation with my ex? We are still sleeping together...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been split up for about. A month now. We were living together before the break up and since he moved out we've talked on and off with some booty call. Last night he came over we watched a movie and he started talking more on ...
A. 15 July 2008: I was in a situation simular to this when I was in my 20's. My ex boyfriend came around after we broke up, for booty calls. I thought that we were going to get back together, but when I realized that He was just using me for guarenteed sex, then ... (read in full...)
He is asking me to marry him but his age is an imposing hinderance to me...
Q. Iam 24 years of age. i have recently met a 42 year old man who is very kind, loving and considerate in evry possible way. However, the age difference between us makes me fear to commit to him. he is asking me to marry him but his age is an imposing ...
A. 15 July 2008: And the problem is????
My ex husband was 15 years older than me... It didn't bother me AT ALL. I would have stayed with him forever, except he didn't treat me well.
Where there is LOVE...age doesn't matter.... you are BOTH adults.... (read in full...)
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