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*handygirl agony aunt

*handygirl

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*handygirl's profile:

Hi everyone!

I am 53yrs old and got married for the first time at the age of 42. I am now in a pending divorce.

I have been completely on my own since I was 18 yrs old. I came from a very strict family, which also means that I was sheltered from the world, and was very naive at that age.

When left home, I had tons of adverse & dangerous experiences, and had to learn everything the hard way ... alone.

When I read a question that reminds me of an event that was in my life, or the life of a friend, I reply honestly, empathy, and to THE POINT.

We ALL need advice from time to time, that is how I found this wonderful website, because I also needed help.

So here we are... friends who probably will never meet each other face to face, but who are of great value to each other. I appreciate all of you! Thank you for helping me with my questions, and I'll try my best to answer yours, while looking out for your interests, also.

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I felt a strange sense of achievment when one of my childhood bullies appologised, but how do I truly forgive them when the memories are resurfacing?

Q.   how do I forgive them? When I was at school, I was bullied indecently, I dont know why, but once one started the rest followed like sheep. I have tried all my life to put those 5 years behind me, but its always there. It wasnt just a few kids eit...

A.   31 December 2007: I also was bullied as a kid in grade-school & High School. I Know that it leaves emotional scars, but it also gives you a STRONG CHARACTER which is a PLUS! You are now the kind of person who can handle whatever comes your way... without breaking ... (read in full...)

I feel so guilty, I deleted a text from his ex girlfriend without him knowing, am I wrong?

Q.   I feel so guilty, I saw a text from my boyfriend's ex girlfriend on Christmas Day saying she missed him, and I deleted it, so he has no idea she text. The background on this is that they broke up a year ago, just after Christmas. I have been with...

A.   31 December 2007: I am with you girl! I am 52 yrs old & had the same thing go on with my boyfriend. And, I did the same thing as you, with an email. It was an email that said "Merry Christmas". I emailed her back "AS HIM" and said "Merry Christmas to you too... ... (read in full...)

My husband has molested our daughter for years. What should I do now?

Q.   I would like your opinion on this serious issue. I was in bed with my husband over 20 years ago when my daughter, then aged about 2, climbed into be between us. After some time, I noticed my husband was getting aroused and I thought he was masturba...

A.   31 December 2007: Your Daughter and you should see a therepist together. I am not being mean... a therepist will help the both of you get your heads clear in order to make the right decisions.... (read in full...)

Is this weird or is it just me?

Q.   Have been in an "emotional" relationship with a younger man for almost a year now (younger by 5 years. I am a married woman, he has had a girlfriend. We have been working up to finally leading to something sexual. So here's the confusing part...he ...

A.   31 December 2007: I was in the same type of thing about a year and 1/2 ago. I had sex with the guy 2 times. I ended up leaving my husband, The guy then dumped me, as soon as I was free. I am still separated from my husband, because I realized that having an ... (read in full...)

Married 8 months and sex still hurts. Any advice?

Q.   i am 19 and have been married for 8 months and it still hurts like crazy every time my husband and i have sex. any advice on this!...

A.   31 December 2007: I used to have the same problem. The reason is that you are most likely nervous, and with that, you don't lubricate, so you are DRY...and also your vagina tightens up, making it even worse. Even though you love your husband, you still aren't ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend drinks and can't stay away from other women from his past, what shall I do?

Q.   My boyfriend is 12 years younger than me, we have been living together for a year. One of the issues that I have with him is that he drinks every day. When he drinks, he says mean things to me and we fight. Another thing is that that since th...

A.   31 December 2007: The women that he has contact with has not had children with him, Nor do I have any children. I was married tp a man who had children with his ex-wife, and I was very comfortable with his relationship with her. Because they kept their ... (read in full...)

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