A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi im 22 years old have had a good sex life up to about 3 months ago and I now struggle to get it up. I had a girl I was seeing for a bit very good looking and we both liked each other alot and it just wouldnt happen it did sort of a couple times but lasted a very short time very embarassing she was understanding but I feel shit!! just wanted to please her what would you recomend I still am having the problem and it just sorta happnd overnight?
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female
reader, candylicious  +, writes (11 July 2008):
fone-me.com
i have a friend calld brenda. she could really sort you out ;]
A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (11 July 2008):
 This may sound harsh... but If you masturbate often... then stop. It could make it difficult to be able to have sex with a girl because it keeps you from having "the hunger."
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A
female
reader, Torianne  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 Getting nervous doesn't help. Of course you're not going to get turned on if you are anxious.
Best thing? Try some prolonged foreplay. Me and my fiance send each other texts throughout the day, saying what we want to do to each other. It generally lasts for about 5 hours before we see each other. Try that, explaining what you want to do to her and vice versa. It wiull start to get you turned on and build up slowly throughout the day. Then get the setting right, have candles around the bedroom, a glass of wine and just take it very slowly, touch each other all over (the back of the knees and just where the bum meets the thigh are proper hot spots for women) and then go with the flow.
Above all RELAX!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): Sexual problems are not always simple;
It is like when the body is running a temperature; it tells us something is wrong; but to find the reason for the temperature; or the problem, not always obvious.
The same with sexual problems; the difficulty is to find the reason and often it can be one of many or a combination of things; It can be a physical or emotional problem;
BUT
unless you have a medical problem and there could be a number of health issues that can have an effect;
I think,
in your situation it sounds like PERFORMANCE ANXIETY; and unfortunately the more you are going to worry about the erection and wanting to impress your partner with your performance; the more likely you are to experience the problem;
I SUGGEST;
You relax; stop concentrating on intercourse and the erection and the performance; concentrate on FOREPLAY; lots of it; even ORAL SEX; you have to be patient take the stress of your mind; when you are really ready and I mean take it easy; lots of foreplay, then don’t thinking about the problem
BUT
CONCENTRATE ON A FANTASY.
Hope this will be of assistance.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (11 July 2008):
 It's quite possible that the whole issue could be psychological. Once you start getting problems getting hard, your fears tend to perpetuate the problem. The next time you want to get hard, you worry so much that you lose it!
I had a similar problem last month. Quite a different situation, though, and I won't go into the gory details, but I was having big problems with my relationship (my partner is several thousand miles away). At the height of my fears, when I started believing the worst of her, I suddenly became impotent -- I could hardly get it up for masturbation at all. Even when I got together with her, the problem wouldn't go away. I was soft half the time, and lost my hard-on half way through sex. The more I worried about it the worse it got. Just thinking "OMG it's sure to get soft again!" was enough to cause my fears to come true -- I would go soft.
She had me try Viagra, which gave me a hard-on but made me feel depressed. I felt I'd lost my manhood and hated the idea of relying on drugs to achieve what I'd always been able to do naturally.
How did I resolve the issue? Well, it resolved itself. After I came back from seeing her, I woke up one night with a raging hard-on, you know, one of the totally unsexual hard-ons that you get when you're fast asleep. I realised that if I could get a proper erection in my sleep, I shouldn't have problem getting one during sex, either. The next night I woke up with another hard-on. Rather than let it go, I used it to masturbate to climax. From that time on I haven't had any problems with masturbation, and I assume it will be fine when I see her again.
Of course, erectile dysfunction can have physical causes, and if it persists for too long you might think of seeing a doctor. But if the cause is psychological (and the test for this is apparently related to the ability to have night-time erections), then it could quite easily resolve itself.
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A
female
reader, nazmin +, writes (11 July 2008):
hi. these things happen, its natural. how you tried foreplay? i think you should try and sex tease each other and see how you feel. try some different things and then gradually see how you feel and if you are comfortable in this. the best thing i think is buy the sexiest food you can find in the supermarket like strawberries, chocolate, honey etc. and eat them off each others body, im sure you'll feel much much better and guarantee it'll be working in no time. let me know how it goes if you do this. hope that helps?
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