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... Send *handygirl a private message | | | *handygirl's profile:Hi everyone!
I am 53yrs old and got married for the first time at the age of 42. I am now in a pending divorce.
I have been completely on my own since I was 18 yrs old. I came from a very strict family, which also means that I was sheltered from the world, and was very naive at that age.
When left home, I had tons of adverse & dangerous experiences, and had to learn everything the hard way ... alone.
When I read a question that reminds me of an event that was in my life, or the life of a friend, I reply honestly, empathy, and to THE POINT.
We ALL need advice from time to time, that is how I found this wonderful website, because I also needed help.
So here we are... friends who probably will never meet each other face to face, but who are of great value to each other. I appreciate all of you! Thank you for helping me with my questions, and I'll try my best to answer yours, while looking out for your interests, also. |
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How do I respond to this guy? Should I give him all my attention or be more calm?
Q. Although i speak with the man i used to date last year and i saw him some times during this year there isn't easy to arrange to meet each other. Usually he is working or he has a lot of social responsibilities so he hasn't plenty free time. ...
A. 15 January 2008: I don't mean to offend you, but it sounds to me like he has another woman.... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can get rid of the hurt?
Q. my bf and i only broke up a month ago and he already moved on and askin for some girl's fone number!! i couldnt believe this after everything we went through. I still cant seem to move on from him and still have strong feelings for him even though ...
A. 15 January 2008: Honey... are you a "Glutten for Punishment?" If he hasn't called you yet... If I were you... I would just leave him alone and move on with your life. You said that he asked another girl for her phone number... maybe he is dating HER now.
But no h... (read in full...)
Help! I can't get it 'up' for her and I don't want to lose her!
Q. Hey. I am 17 years old. Recently, I have been with a very close friend of mine, whom I have known since pretty much the beginning of high school. She is one of my best friends, we hang out all the time, and we basically talk about everything with ...
A. 15 January 2008: I agree with Laura1318... STOP masturbating! Save all you sexual urges for her. ... (read in full...)
Told the "other woman" that I slept with my ex, the man she took from me! Is it a bad thing, that I had told her that?
Q. Hi there everyone. Ive been on here several times. History: My ex cheated on me and when I found out he decided he wanted to be with her. I have left them to get on with their relationship. Lately however, she has been trying to contact me. S...
A. 15 January 2008: Try to be civil & "Distant" friends with your ex, only for the sake of your children. Don't get too involved in his life and problems.
Her finding out that you slept with him is HER PROBLEM... just like it was YOUR PROBLEM when you found out abou... (read in full...)
How do I let her know how I feel? She keeps giving me mixed signals
Q. well it goes like this,theres this female that i've known for about two to three months, and im very attracted to her, i love being around her, and when im not around her i think of her. now let me tell you that she's a tom boy but she's still a ...
A. 15 January 2008: Girls like men who display confidence. Especially "Tom Boys."
Step up to the plate! Take charge of the situation! I agree with "chlez83."... (read in full...)
I need help badly! He married and has other women. How do I give him up?
Q. I feel in love with a guy who got married the second time and we began to have sex when even he was in his honey moon.we have been having sex for more than two years and I am a married women,too.but I found out that he has another girl friend who I ...
A. 15 January 2008: This man has ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND TOO??? Jeez! What a dog! It sounds as though he has his cake & eating it to.
You found out about THIS other girlfriend, but how many others has he had that you DIDN'T find out about.
I am not being mean... but If I... (read in full...)
He swears he loves me. But I can't help but feel he's truly not attracted to me. Advice?
Q. My boyfriend is 27 and I am 36. I want sex about 5 x a week, but he says he just can't do that. I found, however, that he looks at porn about every other day. I could do it more than we do, and he knows how his choice of porn over me makes me ...
A. 15 January 2008: I agree with Butterflykisses. Buying sexy outfits, and acting out fantasys can be exciting for the BOTH of you. Explore, and have fun!... (read in full...)
Did I say something wrong? What else was I supposed to say? I don't understand why she reacted like that.
Q. Hey weird fight with my girlfriend the other day and I am so confused. what is the appropriate response in this sort of situation: We went to a party at a mutual friends house. One of the guys there brought along a new girlfriend to introduce ...
A. 15 January 2008: I agree with all the other answers that conveyed that you should always make the girl that you are with feel that She is the most beautiful woman in the world, and no one else compares to her. Remember that .... ALWAYS ... It is a GOLDEN RULE ! All ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex is a real nuisance in our relationship
Q. Okay i've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months, and everything is fine with us. But, his ex whom he has a child with has always been nagging him, calling him all the time for the most retarded reasons. it is ovious that she just wants to talk ...
A. 15 January 2008: When 2 people have a child together, that means that they will always be in each others life forever.
I have been with men whom I had to deal with their ex's because of this reason. I got along with all of them. No Problem. Because, they knew... (read in full...)
I really want tips on how to start teasing my wife and making her want sex.
Q. Hiya me and my wife are going to see a show in a few days and stopping over night at a hotel. I seriously want to make it a fun but secretive night. Without doing all the taking her out stuff or dressing up or music I really want tips on how to ...
A. 14 January 2008: I wish LJ001 was a guy that lived next to me... and was interested in me... cause what she said was RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!... (read in full...)
Problems with bullying...
Q. Hi, well I have a problem with bullying. It's not physical but at the moment they are mentally and verbally bullying me by making remarks about me to my best m8 and also shouting horrible names at me and calling me a tramp. There are 2 main culprits ...
A. 14 January 2008: I was bullied too when I was your age. It isn't fun, I know. It wears out your self esteem. But I think that the reason that they do that, is that they are jealous of you for what ever reason, and want to deflate your ego.
Or in my case, I was ... (read in full...)
What should I do? What is 'true love'? I must know!
Q. Help! I've been seeing a truly fantastic girl now for seven months. But recently, I've been having some vague feelings that things weren't really shaping up the way they are supposed to and decided to come clean and tell her that I just didn't feel ...
A. 14 January 2008: When you are "IN LOVE," You don't care what other people think or say. After all... it is YOUR relationship, not theirs.
No one is REALLY PERFECT for you. I have fantasies about the perfect man, but I have never met him yet, and I am 52yrs old.... (read in full...)
I'm a married woman and had sex with a female colleague from work!
Q. I'm a married woman in my 30's and I had a healthy marriage till last month. I was out of town for work and I stayed at a hotel, my room mate was a pretty young girl I know from work. We were at a party after work talking and we really connected ...
A. 14 January 2008: WHOA GIRL! What is your phone number & where do you live!! I am just teasing.
But really, I don't think that it should be categorized as cheating. You know what, most guys fantisize about being with 2 women at the same time.
I had a girlfrie... (read in full...)
How do I walk away from someone I love so much?
Q. hey, i wrote in a cuple weeks ago asking should i stay or walk away from my married boyfriend, the thing is. i got 1 reply saying stay, i saying leave and 1 saying run. the thing is i no he's not happy where he is. i no he's not. if you read my f...
A. 14 January 2008: I was involved with a married man once. I REALLY loved him sooo much. He said that he was unhappy with his wife, and he was. But when you are in a situation like that, as I was too, GIVE IT A TIME LIMIT. My limit was 9 months. If he didn't ... (read in full...)
How do I get the courage to talk to girls I like? I chicken out even when they show interest in me. Help?
Q. ok so im 18 and single and i have this thing going on. say if im in the town or in a shop by myself, i sometimes have girls looking at me, id look back and shes still looking, but i have no idea what to do.. so id just stand there pretending that im ...
A. 14 January 2008: P.S. If girls look back at you, and keep looking, evidently they think that you are cute, or in reality you REALLY ARE CUTE and you don't even know it!... (read in full...)
How do I get the courage to talk to girls I like? I chicken out even when they show interest in me. Help?
Q. ok so im 18 and single and i have this thing going on. say if im in the town or in a shop by myself, i sometimes have girls looking at me, id look back and shes still looking, but i have no idea what to do.. so id just stand there pretending that im ...
A. 14 January 2008: You Know what? I think if I were looking at you... and you "winked" at me, in a nice way, I would think that you are soooo sexy.
Girls like guys that display confidence. Whether you are confident or not. """The way you PRESENT YOURSELF is how ... (read in full...)
She says I'm her first but friends say she has been with others...and now our sex life has slowed down it bothers me.
Q. My wife and I have been together for 20 years. When we first started to date in high school I was told by friends that she had been with a least 2 other guy's sexually. It never bothered me until just recently when our sex life started to slow ...
A. 14 January 2008: And... if I may add... You won the prize...... (read in full...)
My bf keeps asking for sex but I don't know what to do.
Q. dear cupid, My bf keeps asking me for sex, should i say yes or no? I am 13 and don't know what to do.... helppppp...
A. 14 January 2008: You don't have to Give... just because you are being pressured into it. It is YOUR body... respect it & yourself. If you don't respect yourself, then how do you think anyone else will.
You don't have to do something that you don't feel that you ... (read in full...)
She says I'm her first but friends say she has been with others...and now our sex life has slowed down it bothers me.
Q. My wife and I have been together for 20 years. When we first started to date in high school I was told by friends that she had been with a least 2 other guy's sexually. It never bothered me until just recently when our sex life started to slow ...
A. 14 January 2008: I don't think that you should make such a big deal about what happened 20 years ago, and before you and her were together. The past is indeed the past.
If your sex life is fading, maybe it is because you need Romance in your lives once again. How ... (read in full...)
How can I NOT freak him out?
Q. I recently went on a blind date with a guy, and we really hit it off. We have met up about four times now, and slept together. I like him but I'm scared in case it is just a bit of a laugh for him, in which case I don't want to continue seeing him. ...
A. 14 January 2008: Relax... and see where this thing goes.
I know how anxious one can get when you really get quickly attached to some-one. Been there, done that! If I were you... I would wait for him to bring it up. Hold your tongue.
Just continue being sweet, a... (read in full...)
He keeps looking at younger women. Should I be worried here?
Q. I'm 52, slender, and youthful looking for my age. (So I'm told) My boyfriend is 12 years younger than me, but he looks the same age. He is wonderful in a lot of ways, but he is always looking at younger women. Once I noticed that he had an ...
A. 14 January 2008: Thank you "female reader(13 January 2008)" Very educational.... (read in full...)
Is he sneaking with other women?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now, and we have had issues with his ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, and female friend emailing and calling him. It seems as though he just can't stay away from other women. He says that he no longer keeps in ...
A. 11 January 2008: Once again... thank you IRISH 49.
I am in the middle of a Pending divorice with a man who owned properties and businesses. I wasn't a pampered woman though. I was his "Right Hand" person for 17 yrs, snd he ttreated me like a slave. I had 3 pair... (read in full...)
Is he sneaking with other women?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now, and we have had issues with his ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, and female friend emailing and calling him. It seems as though he just can't stay away from other women. He says that he no longer keeps in ...
A. 11 January 2008: THank you IRISH49... you sound like a professional Therepist. You advice is very sound. My bf & I have fought about this issue for a long time. A few times I told him to GET OUT, and I meant it. But he made up with me the next day. You see... ... (read in full...)
Is he sneaking with other women?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now, and we have had issues with his ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, and female friend emailing and calling him. It seems as though he just can't stay away from other women. He says that he no longer keeps in ...
A. 9 January 2008: DR VENDETTA... I Love You... HA HA your answer was hilarious and it made me chuckle!
IRISH49... his emails to them are just friendly ones... but I do not know what his conversations on the phone are like. He talked to his ex-wife for an hour a few ... (read in full...)
Why don't we get on as well as other couples?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend over a year now, and I love him so much. But he's so awkward at times, and we have little arguments every 2 or 3 days. We may be in a mood with each other for half an hour or so, but then we're always back in each others ...
A. 8 January 2008: Everyone fights. When you first unite with someone, sometimes the first year is the toughest, because you are both still getting to know each other & you are still laying the foundation of your relationship. When you fight, though, listen to each ... (read in full...)
Feeling so needy towards my boyfriend
Q. Lately I've felt supremely needy, I can't get enough of my boyfriend, I want to be with him and held all the time. Recently he bought his own house and no longer lives with his parents. Before we spent a lot of time at my house, frequently he would ...
A. 8 January 2008: I am older, & I have had about 12 serious relationships in the past. Each one, I loved a lot. I have had situations like this one too. It wasn't FUN.
Talk with him, ask him if he is happy with you.
I understand him, that he doesn't want to leave... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has walked away over jealousy of my ex boyfriend, do I try to get him back?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a year, we've lived together 9 of those months. We have been friends for 10 years, so we know each other very well. 3 months ago, he broke up with me, and because he pays all the bills, asked me to move out. ...
A. 8 January 2008: I understand where he is coming from. My boyfriend was a bartender when I first started to date him, & he had girls coming onto him all the time. And he played on that to get tips. He even went out for drinks after work with one of these girls. ... (read in full...)
My cheating husband, turning it around
Q. I just found out my husband cheated. I discovered and accessed a secret email acct and saw he had a profile on adult friend finder and replies to postings on craigslist, most recently while away for work w/ a call girl. I confronted him, he denied ...
A. 8 January 2008: What a woman you are! You must love him sooo much, that you are willing to overlook his sin so readily. I admire you!
I recently said to my boyfriend " I don't let ANYONE manipulate me for their purposes, unless I am in love with them." And.... (read in full...)
My mother is making my life hell
Q. hi, i'm 13, and my mum is honestly after my life. she beats me up when she likes, she abusses me, then asks me to forgive her, well what does she think i can forgive her so esily. And the thing i hate most is i get beaten up mostly just cause of my ...
A. 8 January 2008: GET HELP !! Go to the school Principle, or Teacher, or the Police. Take your pick. You have to let SOMEONE know what is going on, who can help you. If I lived near you, I would help you myself. Your mom & I would have a SERIOUS TALK!... (read in full...)
My bf said he could not see a future for us as we have two totally different career paths. Should I try to convince him or let go?
Q. well me and my boyfriend have been going out for about a year and a half.its been going really good, but the other day he wanted to talk about the future.he said that he couldnt see 2 people(as in us) who have two totaly different career paths to ...
A. 8 January 2008: Tell him that you love him very much, You don't want to break up, and that "Carreer Paths" to you is not a big thing. Tell him that you feel that his "Carreer Paths" issue... is just an excuse for him to break up with you... and if he is not happy ... (read in full...)
She's a bit bigger than I thought she would be, and I only half like her. Should I have sex with her and marry her?
Q. i am unmarried and one girl loves me alot. we become friends through a dating site. but the first day i met her i felt very bad due to the reason she is not so good looking. Actually she is a fat girl and that to, too much. As, such i ignored all ...
A. 8 January 2008: If you are not attracted to her, then don't force yourself to have sex with her. It would be fair to her.... for you to be honest with her. But do it in a graceful & gentle way. Treat her the way YOU would want someone treat YOU. Will you marry ... (read in full...)
I thought we were both virgins, but she isnt , can we still have a future?
Q. I am just about to get married, and I am still a virgin. I just found out my future wife has had sex with a couple guys before me. I was hurt when i found this out...and still am...because I was expecting her to be a virgin too... I love her very ...
A. 8 January 2008: What she did BEFORE you was BEFORE YOU. Do you Love her? I really respect her COURAGE to tell you the truth about her past. You do want honesty in your relationship... don't you? Well, she obviously LOVES YOU VERY MUCH to risk telling you this. ... (read in full...)
My mum doesn't want my grandma at my wedding, what can I do?
Q. I need help again. Please refer to my last question (about my controlling mother) for more in-depth background information. Really quickly- planning a wedding, mom and her own mother (my grandmother) do not speak. Mom has said she isn't allowed ...
A. 8 January 2008: I have problems like this in my family too. So I understand where you are coming from.
What I would do is...Tell your mother that you love her very much. But you also love your grandmother. Tell her that your Wedding is a special day that you ... (read in full...)
I like my best friend's bf...a lot! Should I go after him?
Q. ok i really like this guy but his girlfriend is like my best friend............and im best friends with him to.............but i really like him... i dont no what to do!!! i dont want to ruin our friendship!!! and he likes me to! and i really rea...
A. 8 January 2008: I agree with Caligirl & Laura1318...Don't go after him... it would be wrong.
You are young, and at this point of your life, your FRIENDS are more important. RESPECT your friends the way that YOU would want them to RESPECT you.
If he likes yo... (read in full...)
My fiancee's ex is his secretary, she still works with him, how can I cope with this?
Q. I dated my now fiancé several years back and we broke things off because I got back together with an old boyfriend and he started dating his secretary. He and his secretary lived together for 5 1/2 years and their relationship ended over a year ...
A. 8 January 2008: WoW! My Heart goes out to you. I would not feel comfortable with the situation either. I know that I should say to trust him, and if you don't then leave him.... but I won't. Sometimes certain situations call for different DEGREES of trust.
I... (read in full...)
Scared about Sex for the first time. Can you help?
Q. hi me and my boyfriend have decided we want to have sex, but i have never been fingered or used a tampon before so i'm scared it will hurt alot i tried to use a tampon the other day but i'm not sure what hole to insert in so can someone please t...
A. 5 January 2008: RESPECT YOURSELF.... It sounds to me as though you are not ready for sex. Don't let your boyfriend pressure you into it. Guys sometimes have a way of thinking ONLY of THEMSELVES sometimes, when it comes to sex.
I was in a situation like your... (read in full...)
Scared about Sex for the first time. Can you help?
Q. hi me and my boyfriend have decided we want to have sex, but i have never been fingered or used a tampon before so i'm scared it will hurt alot i tried to use a tampon the other day but i'm not sure what hole to insert in so can someone please t...
A. 5 January 2008: RESPECT YOURSELF.... It sounds to me as though you are not ready for sex. Don't let your boyfriend pressure you into it. Guys sometimes have a way of thinking ONLY of THEMSELVES sometimes, when it comes to sex. I was in a situation like you... (read in full...)
I broke up with my bf because he spent the night talking to his ex in a pub. Should I have trusted him?
Q. My boyfrind spent the whole night talking to his ex in a pub (her current boyfriend was also in the pub that night, i wasn't) Apparently they even walked outside the door together. He says they weren't going nowhere..that they just left because of ...
A. 5 January 2008: I feel that a "BOYFRIEND" has no business spending more than 15 minutes 'socially' talking to another woman. Any longer than that to me, leans toward trying to build a relationship, and that is what this instance sounds like to me... a possible try ... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can get rid of the hurt?
Q. my bf and i only broke up a month ago and he already moved on and askin for some girl's fone number!! i couldnt believe this after everything we went through. I still cant seem to move on from him and still have strong feelings for him even though ...
A. 4 January 2008: I am 52 yrs old & Have had a lot of relationships & hurts in my life.
An Older Woman once told me... when I was your age, and was heart broken over a breakup, something that stuck with me through every heartbreak I have ever had, and it helped me b... (read in full...)
How do I get this boy to leave me alone?
Q. Theres this boy at School who likes me. He stocks me,fallows me and keeps calling my name. I usely ignore people I don't even like as a friend. I block them out. He keeps telling me how pretty I am and keeps asking me out. I don't even...
A. 31 December 2007: Just say in a joking way.... "Oh, knock it off!" Then walk away. If that doesn't work, then say " You are a nice person, and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I am not interested." If that doesn't work, then say, "Stop it already!" I don't ... (read in full...)
I felt a strange sense of achievment when one of my childhood bullies appologised, but how do I truly forgive them when the memories are resurfacing?
Q. how do I forgive them? When I was at school, I was bullied indecently, I dont know why, but once one started the rest followed like sheep. I have tried all my life to put those 5 years behind me, but its always there. It wasnt just a few kids eit...
A. 31 December 2007: I also was bullied as a kid in grade-school & High School. I Know that it leaves emotional scars, but it also gives you a STRONG CHARACTER which is a PLUS! You are now the kind of person who can handle whatever comes your way... without breaking ... (read in full...)
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