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*handygirl agony aunt

*handygirl

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*handygirl's profile:

Hi everyone!

I am 53yrs old and got married for the first time at the age of 42. I am now in a pending divorce.

I have been completely on my own since I was 18 yrs old. I came from a very strict family, which also means that I was sheltered from the world, and was very naive at that age.

When left home, I had tons of adverse & dangerous experiences, and had to learn everything the hard way ... alone.

When I read a question that reminds me of an event that was in my life, or the life of a friend, I reply honestly, empathy, and to THE POINT.

We ALL need advice from time to time, that is how I found this wonderful website, because I also needed help.

So here we are... friends who probably will never meet each other face to face, but who are of great value to each other. I appreciate all of you! Thank you for helping me with my questions, and I'll try my best to answer yours, while looking out for your interests, also.

< Prev12345678Next > [8 pages, 285 answers]

I refused to continue my affair with a married man, as I don't want to be hoodwinked again (I am also married) - did I do the right thing?

Q.   Hi, Please tell me I have done the right thing? Some years ago I had an affair with a married man. We were both married at the time. After a few months it ended and it took me time to get over it. Recently after 6 years he contacted me and ...

A.   15 September 2008: You are welcome Hon. Stay strong for your own good. I know your self esteeme is on the floor. Pick yourself up.... dust yourself off... and move on. Time heals all wounds.... (read in full...)

I refused to continue my affair with a married man, as I don't want to be hoodwinked again (I am also married) - did I do the right thing?

Q.   Hi, Please tell me I have done the right thing? Some years ago I had an affair with a married man. We were both married at the time. After a few months it ended and it took me time to get over it. Recently after 6 years he contacted me and ...

A.   15 September 2008: It is sooo easy to miss GOOD SEX. LoL. But you and I are both at an age to where we are a lot wiser than we were in our 20's and 30's. In your heart and from life experiences, you know what you have to do. STOP TORTURING YOURSELF by cont... (read in full...)

What does it mean when you are dating but you are not boyfriend and girlfriend?

Q.   I have been dating this guy for four months and we arent seeing anyone else but he doesnt want the title boyfriend. What does that mean. I dont undererstand the difference. Does "boyfriend" change things?...

A.   15 September 2008: Pretty confusing, eh? It sounds to me as though he wants everything with YOU, while keeping his options open for what ever else may come along. Men can be such jerks sometimes. What you can do, since he is not your BOYFRIEND, you are a FREE... (read in full...)

Is he losing interest in me? He has trouble staying erect...

Q.   I am 23 years old and engaged to a man who is 30. We have been together for 4 years and have had a good sex life until recently. About a month ago we start having problems, where my sex drive is a lot higher than his and he is not satisfying me. ...

A.   14 September 2008: WoW! You GO GIRL! Sex 2 to 3 times a day? He sounds like "Superman" to me. LoL. But maybe he is running out of steam sometimes. It doesn't sound to me as though he is losing interest. I don't think you have to worry about. But you can't ... (read in full...)

I am seeing and sleeping with a married man! Why am I such an awful person to have gotten myself into this situation? What should I do? What does this tell about me?

Q.   I really need to ask a complete third party about this because I can't ask anyone I know. Im feeling horrendous guilt and I don't know why I do the things I do. I really don't. I have a good career and 14 months ago I started a new job and be...

A.   14 September 2008: Having a thing with a married man has No Future. Sorry hon, but his wife is the "Main Entre, and you are the desert." If he were to leave his wife for you, who is to say that he wouldn't repeat this situation with some one else on the side? Once... (read in full...)

He hasn't initiated a second date, even when I texted him. What's the next step?

Q.   I went on a date last Wednesday, that I thought went pretty well. We had lots to talk about, kept each other’s interest, he told me he thought I was ‘gorgeous,’ and when it came time to leave the bar, he asked me if I wanted to do anything else. ...

A.   11 September 2008: Well now you know, you will meet someone who WILL be interested. Don't fret honey!... (read in full...)

Am I a normal teenager?

Q.   I am a 19 year old boy. I am starting my 2nd year of university, and I know what this means to a lot of people "parties, sex, alcohol etc." But this doesn't concern me. When people are out going crazy Im at home studying. I recently asked a girl ...

A.   5 September 2008: You sound like the MAN OF MY DREAMS! LoL. But you are just too young for me. There is nothing wrong with how you are. Actually, you are at an age where building your career is important. Keep studying. Don't worry about what other people do o... (read in full...)

I'm worried that my depression and anxiety issues keep guys at distance. How can I change this?

Q.   Hey, I'm a 16 year old girl who suffers from anxiety, panic attacks and a very mild depression. Although its a nuisance and very annoying I have gradually got used to that being a part of me. However, I always feel like a burden to people and fe...

A.   27 August 2008: Excersize on a regular basis. Studies show that excersizing for 20-30 minutes at least every other day, can raise your mood. Also Get into some type of team sport. Softball, basketball, volleyball. You need to feel like you belong somewhere. Being ... (read in full...)

He hasn't initiated a second date, even when I texted him. What's the next step?

Q.   I went on a date last Wednesday, that I thought went pretty well. We had lots to talk about, kept each other’s interest, he told me he thought I was ‘gorgeous,’ and when it came time to leave the bar, he asked me if I wanted to do anything else. ...

A.   26 August 2008: If a guy is interested, he will contact you. You can text him to say, "Call me" if he doesn't respond, then forget it. Don't put yourself in the position of the pursuer. A guy has to Pursue You, to appreciate you. Just go on with your life if ... (read in full...)

Is there a man alive who's ever satisfied with the woman he has, at least visually?

Q.   Is it possible that a man would not be intererested in other women once he is in love?? for example my desire for other men completely ceased when I met my husband, but it seems he still has a roaming eye. Once I bought my house I lost interest in t...

A.   26 August 2008: All men look, some just don't have the sense to be descreet about it. DOGS! ha ha. My boyfriend is the same way. I am better looking than he is, and he should appreciate me, but he doesn't. Because he is always openly gawking at other women. We ... (read in full...)

I can't talk to people and I'm a loner... how can I change that?

Q.   Well it's time to be honest....I'm 21 and am a loner. I have never had any real social life up till now nor experienced any type of meaningful youth. I stay in my room night after night and my mum is right when she says I don't know how to tal...

A.   19 August 2008: Read about politics, keep up with the news in the newspaper, read about sports, auto biographies, health, what is going on in other countries, science, history, realestate, etc. When you are Well-read, about these things, you always have something ... (read in full...)

I can't read the body language in my girlfriend!

Q.   how can i know whether my girl friend is thinking sexual thoughts? I can read the body language in other girls, but my girl friend fluctuates. Thanks...

A.   18 August 2008: When I was your age, sex was the furthest thing from my mind. When I liked a boy, it was emotions, not sex that engulfed me. Boys think about sex at an early age, girls don't. ... (read in full...)

Very nervous about meeting my girlfriend's mum! Any advice?

Q.   why am i so nervous to meet my gf's mother!! need answers asap its tonight!!!!...

A.   15 August 2008: Be polished in Hygene and appearance. Have Manners....Be very polite... "Pleased to meet you" "Yes Mam" "No Mam" Also show a lot of respect and regard for her daughter in front of her. Good luck!... (read in full...)

At my first attempt of sex I did not penetrate her properly, should I worry?

Q.   My penis size is 35mm width, 9cm length and I don’t know whether it is enough to satisfy a teenage girl. I only had sex once in my life with a virgin girl and the problem is that I did not penetrate properly is like my penis just entered 3cm.Please ...

A.   14 August 2008: Is your girlfriend using birth control? Because whether you penetrate all the way or not, she can get pregnant. Do you want a baby? As far as size is concerned, it really doesn't matter.... (read in full...)

We broke up, but I miss him. He said he just wants us to be mates.

Q.   Heyy :) Can anybody tell me what to do or give me some advice ? I was goinng out with a boy for almost 2months i no its doesnt seem long but i liked him so much. its been almost 3weeks since he finished me, he said his reasons was because he didnt...

A.   14 August 2008: Honey, you are young, and this will not be your last boyfriend. There will be many more to come throughout the years, trust me on that. I know for now, it may seem like the end of the world, but in time, your wounds will heal. I have been thro... (read in full...)

This younger girl has a bad reputation. Should I keep seeing her?

Q.   I am using my sisters account on here, she said its fine. I am a 34 year old man. I always go for older women and have been seeing older women for a few months and just having fun, but one got a bit serious and started being a bunny boiler. I have j...

A.   12 August 2008: I agree with Annalisa. Get to know her yourself, but keep in mind what other people have said, and be a little cautious. If she really likes you, she will possibly behave herself. People usually DO date alot when they have just gotten out of a re... (read in full...)

Am I overreacting about my boyfriend's stunning best friend?

Q.   My boyfriends best friend is a girl, and she is utterly stunning, she is very thin and striking, wheras i am very short and curvy. I have no problem with him having a best friend who is a girl, its just I get jealous sometimes as she always sits on ...

A.   12 August 2008: YIKE! Sorry honey, but I think you have every reason to be jealous. they sound tooo touchy touchy to me. It isn't right. I had something like this happen to me when I was your age. Except they hadn't known each other for years. He eventually ... (read in full...)

How do I steal him away from her?

Q.   I really like this guy but he has a girlfriend. How do I steal him away from her?...

A.   11 August 2008: Ya know what? Don't hide from him. Show him that you are going on with your life. And I think that in time, you actually WILL. There were a few of times when I thought I was in love with someone, they didn't work out... Then after a whil... (read in full...)

Want to find out how you would act in a relationship, take this test.

Q.   After reading all these articles I decided to throw this in there too! I was given this test by a "relationship theropist" LOL yes that title does exist! However it was interesting to see just which one you pick....... Read the question, don't ...

A.   11 August 2008: I love all animals, but I picked horse, because they are harmless, run with the wind, and are beautiful. After I read the answer, yep, that's me somewhat, because in this world, money is a big issue with a lot of people. (No Money, No pay ... (read in full...)

How soon should I call her?

Q.   I met this girl at a meeting for a reality tv show for models. One of the models came over to me and sat next to me and we really hit it off. she kept grabbing my hand and laughing at all my jokes. After she posed for some pictures I asked her if ...

A.   11 August 2008: I agree with no longer than a day or two. If you wait too long, she will think that you are not interested enough. And any guy that succeeded in winning my heart, was persistent with me. So step up to the plate hon, YOU'RE ON !... (read in full...)

My husband adopted my daughter, now his son wants to date her.....

Q.   I married my husband in 2004, he adopted my daughter in 2005 as his own; she was 14. This year my husband's ex-wife kicked their 17 year old son out of the house in March and he is now living with us. My daughter and his son want to dat...

A.   11 August 2008: A very complex situation. wow. You may not like this, but ya know, they are NOT related... though I think they are too young to get married. As far as your daughter asking about birth control, well, looks like they are doing something that you will... (read in full...)

How do I steal him away from her?

Q.   I really like this guy but he has a girlfriend. How do I steal him away from her?...

A.   11 August 2008: Sorry for the bashing hon, you should have told us the entire story. Now I understand, but I don't think you can do anything about it. I know it hurts, but time heals all wounds. Take care hon.... (read in full...)

How do I steal him away from her?

Q.   I really like this guy but he has a girlfriend. How do I steal him away from her?...

A.   10 August 2008: I agree with the "anonymous" answerer. I have had girls try to steal my boyfriends, and it made me feel very hostile towards them. I just isn't a nice thing to do. And you won't ever know how it feels until someone does it to you. If he wanted y... (read in full...)

I am really depressed because I feel that my husbandIs not attracted to me like before

Q.   Before I had the baby(6 months ago) I gained about 100 lbs. When we first met I was a real hottie every were I went - heads turned. Now I dont feel attractive like I was, and my husband sure aint helping me feel sexy. hes not comming on to me for ...

A.   10 August 2008: It is normal to gain weigth when you are having a baby. Everyone does. You will loose it slowly. Have a little patience hon, along with some effort. But in that effort, if you are breast feeding, don't forget to eat the right things so that ... (read in full...)

How can I move foward after his cheating ?Help me...

Q.   When I was married my husband cheated on me and I was deployed for 6mo and he brought her to live in our home.. After I found out I divorced him and of course apart of me still loves him. Im tortured by images of him and her on my bed. I wonder why ...

A.   10 August 2008: Yuck, what a sticky situation. What pain it must have caused you, poor girl. How is it going betreen you two now? Are you bieng friendly with each other? Perhaps you should go out to dinner with him to see how things go. Go through the dati... (read in full...)

Should I have touched him intimately?

Q.   There is a gentleman that I've been dating on and off for about a year and a half now. I saw him tonight (he came over) for the first time in about 5 months and we made out. I let him touch my breasts, but I did not touch his penis. I just didn't ...

A.   10 August 2008: I agree with "Smiles". I think he came over after yu contacted him because, well, you aren't going to like what I am about to say... I think maybe he may of thought that this time it would be a "sure thing." I could be wrong though. If it were... (read in full...)

Should I have touched him intimately?

Q.   There is a gentleman that I've been dating on and off for about a year and a half now. I saw him tonight (he came over) for the first time in about 5 months and we made out. I let him touch my breasts, but I did not touch his penis. I just didn't ...

A.   9 August 2008: If you have't seen him in 5 months, then I think you did the right thing. Where has he been? Even though I don't know the whole story, My perception is that possibly he was seeing some one and it didn't work out. So therefore, he contacted you ... (read in full...)

Have strong feelings for a married women, her husband knows we hang out and "do stuff together." What do I do?

Q.   Hello All, I am a single male and have been for several years and enjoy being single. Howwever, someone (a female of 25) has come into my life. We have a lot of things in common.We have been friends for 10 months. The problem is she is 'married...

A.   9 August 2008: Why are you doing this to yourself? After reading your post, I see that you are intellegent enough to look at all the angles of this situation. And I think that you are heading into the fire regardless of the consequences that you KNOW will be. ... (read in full...)

He wants to meet up for sex, and I do too, but how can I be sure he's not a psycho?

Q.   I think I already know the answer to this one, because of what my friends have said - but I need a second opinion. I recently met a guy online through our blogs and we've been emailing quite frequently. He's suggesting that we meet up for sex,...

A.   9 August 2008: I was the anonymous answerer. I hope I stimulated something in your reasoning and senses. Take Care!... (read in full...)

He has separated from his wife, should I call him?

Q.   He is separated. Should I Call him? It was chaos and we lost contact. Now, he’s separated from his wife and I still love him. I am not sure if he still care about me. I worked for his family 3 years ago. Intensive chemistry was occurred between...

A.   7 August 2008: Give it a shot & see what happens. But be aware that possibly he may have a girlfriend by now.... (read in full...)

How can I interpret our friends with benefits situation?

Q.   Hello all! Thank you for taking the time to read this... I am very close to one of my guy friends. We see each other almost everyday, and we enjoy each other's company. A few weeks back, though, we slept with each other, and have been doing so ever ...

A.   6 August 2008: Oh, and I think if he would be OK with you seeing other guys, then (unless you don't mind him using you) I would stop having sex with him. If it were me, that is how I would handle it. (I agree with Uncle Phil's point of view) ... (read in full...)

How can I interpret our friends with benefits situation?

Q.   Hello all! Thank you for taking the time to read this... I am very close to one of my guy friends. We see each other almost everyday, and we enjoy each other's company. A few weeks back, though, we slept with each other, and have been doing so ever ...

A.   6 August 2008: If you did not feel the same way about escalating your relationship to a higher level, then why did you agree with him? If it were me, this situation would drive me nuts. I would have said, "I disagree, I don't want to be with anyone else, but ... (read in full...)

I get insanely jealous for no good reason of his ex'es although he dislikes them and they do not maintain contact!

Q.   i've been going out with my boyfriend for a little over a year. he's the most loyal and trustworthy guy ever and i know for a fact he would never ever cheat on me, let alone flirt with another girl. he always tells girls he's chatting to about me ...

A.   6 August 2008: If he has NO contact with his EX's... then what is there to be jealous of? I don't understand. We all have EX's. At least those of us who are 18 and above. ha ha. Hon, you have to snap out of this. Relaaaax. Breeeeath. And just focus on... (read in full...)

BF constantly asks 4 money. What should I do?

Q.   Ive been dating my current boyfriend going on three years. He's 37 i'm 24. When i first met things were nice...he seemed to be all about me. I dont know how it started with him asking for money but its turned into an everyday thing. He has no shame ...

A.   5 August 2008: You sound like a sweet, good hearted girl. I know it is harder than it sounds... but, JUST SAY NO. When he asks for money, tell him you don't have money to give him. You have the bills to pay, you have a child to care for. Tell him that you can'... (read in full...)

"Should I marry my Northern Monkey?"

Q.   Hey to all, I am 26 and getting married next year (apparently)! My fiance is a very good man, he is two years older than me, a sober, clean living, intelligant, funny and caring person. He of course has his negatives, stubbon, petty, bit...

A.   5 August 2008: Sounds like a "roller coaster" kind of relationship. I am in a relationship that WAS similar to this. You get sick of feeling as though you have to "walk on eggs." Then you ask yourself THE question... "Can I live the rest of my life with him?" ... (read in full...)

I want to fight this guy who ruined the love of my life... what do you think?

Q.   i know many people will be against me in this but i need honest help please. Here's my story. Right i started liking a friend of mine and basically we are very close and 3years later i am absolutely crazy about her. I love our connection. S...

A.   4 August 2008: You can handle a situation with your mind and communication, more-so than fighting. And I am not saying this because I am a female. I have been in more fights when I was your age, than any guy. And, I didn't only fight other girls. But, as I got ... (read in full...)

Do men prefer bad girls over good girls? What am I doing wrong?

Q.   Do Men prefer Bad girls over good girl. I'm a pretty good girl, but I like to go out have fun, drink, smoke occassionally. I still know how to party and let my hair down. I think I'm a pretty good catch and don't have a problem attracting men. ...

A.   4 August 2008: Hi Sappygirl, Guys like "bad girls" if they want a meaningless "fling." OR like some women do... sometimes a "bad girl" is kind of entertaining and exiting to some guys AT FIRST, but after a while, get sick of all the commotion, dramas, and not ... (read in full...)

Are women put off by skinny guys?

Q.   Are women put off dating skinny guys? Is the build and muscles of a man overly important for a woman?...

A.   4 August 2008: There is an old saying ..."every one has some one out there who is MADE for them." You will find a lot of girls who don't like skinny men, then also girls who DO. I have a friend of the family who married a skinny guy, and she is gorgeous!... (read in full...)

Why can't I simply keep my word?

Q.   Im 17 and my EXboyfriend is 25. At first I thought it would never work but we ended up getting really serious. We had been dating for a few months and he started getting mad that I didnt "keep my word" about anything. Like if I said I was gonna ...

A.   4 August 2008: Very well stated... "sappygirl." No one likes it when you get in contact with an EX, especially when you say you won't. I don't intend to sound mean, but he now views you as being unfaithful. Not a good thing. Until it is done to you, you will... (read in full...)

I had unprotected sex with her, cheated on her... now she's pregnant and wants money for an abortion!

Q.   i was talking to this girl for about a month. she REALY liked me. and i was really into her too. we had sex a few times and we didnt use a condom one time. i ended up cheating on her with another girl. and the girl i was talking to found out. than ...

A.   4 August 2008: It takes two to tangle, and facing the consequences shouldn't be a one way street. If she is pregnant, you have to take acountability too. I am not being judgmental, everyone makes mistakes. Go with her to the doctor to find out what is going on... (read in full...)

She's a virgin and we can't have sex because it hurts her too much. Any tips?

Q.   Alright, so me and my girlfriend are getting hot and bothered and ready to have sex, catch is, she's a virgin. So I try to be gentle and all, because I hear it's sometimes really painful. I try, she says "OW!" really loud and I stop because I don't ...

A.   4 August 2008: You sound like a very considerate guy. Get some "KY Lubricant" Be verry gentle and slow. When a girl is a virgin, there is a tissue that you break during the first time. Sort of like a "seal." That is why it hurts, and that is why she blee... (read in full...)

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