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... Send *r. John a private message | | | *r. John's profile:I am a husband of 28 years with a 28 year old son and a 24 year old daughter. (And a pretty one at that.)
I live about 35 miles south of Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA.
Currently a mechanical engineer in a division of the company that makes Peterbuilt and Kenworth trucks and winches, but have recently earned my Phd. in Psychology.
Now all I have to do is pay off my tuition and I will have my diploma in my hot little hand.
I have lots of life experience as well and the desire to help all whom I can.
I am also have interests in physics, chemistry, genetics, astronomy and other areas of science. |
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Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 24 September 2007: Continue on to get help. You never know what can come from trying to right any wrong.
You just may be able to reclaim things as you wish. You are obviously trying or you would never have sought help in the first place. Hang in there. Doc... (read in full...)
Can someone who is in love cheat on you?
Q. my byf cheated on my but says it was a mistake and he really loves me. I wont take him back. Is it possible that someone who is in love with you could cheat on u? i reckon he's lieing about his feelings cus the other girl didnt want him in the end. ...
A. 23 September 2007: If this guy could not be loyal to you right out of the gate how can you depend on anything else he may tell you. His actions definitely spoke louder than his words so listen to them. Doc.... (read in full...)
I don't like other people looking at my gf.
Q. Hi There, Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year, and I have somewhat of a problem, I don't like other people looking at her and when I say this I mean for example she went to get fitted for a dress and had to stand in her bra and ...
A. 23 September 2007: I would not worry so much about others looking at her as much as remembering that YOU are the one who has her. Be proud of that. The only thing I can think of that would be a problem is if you are insecure on your part. Obviously she has the desire ... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 22 September 2007: The one good thing I see on your part is that you are at least you are making the attempt to try to correct the problem on your end.
Think of this though. I have known of guys whom if they have the opportunity to take advantage of a girl they are ... (read in full...)
Do you think my teacher might have the hots for me?
Q. I'm not really sure if my teacher is interested in me and I really need to find out. I'm going to say right now that I do NOT have a crush on him, i'm just wondering if I need to back away or not. For staters, he talks to me for as long as he can. ...
A. 22 September 2007: You are treading very shaky ground here. Teachers are supposed to keep themselves somewhat distanced from their students at least emotionally.
It used to be that a teacher that was "touchy feely" could play with the children or rough house with them... (read in full...)
I am 14 with a porn addiction. Is this normal?
Q. I'm a 14 year old girl and I watch porn constantly. Is this normal? I feel like it is not usual for girls to be this horny. Sorry for asking such an akward question, but has anyone been in my position before? ...
A. 16 September 2007: Hon, I must say it is an un-healthy thing to occupy your mind with.
There are many many reasons that no one regardless of there age or gender should be viewing porn. It causes countless problems with relationships, attitudes, etc. I can not even... (read in full...)
I have a discharge...
Q. do guys like it while they are fingereing a girl if they have alot of discharge? and idk whether to shave or trim my pubes...
A. 16 September 2007: Some women just experience an exceptional amount of wetness during sex and foreplay. This is not uncommon and probably has not even crossed his mind if you haven't brought it up already.
As far as trimming or shaving, ask him. He won't have a prob... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 16 September 2007: The first thing you need to realize is that this happened before you were married, right? Did you even know her when this was happening to her?
Secondly, some guys have mastered the art of intimidation with women. They have figured out how to basi... (read in full...)
Stop me!
Q. Help! someone talk some sense into me! Its 2am in the morning, i feel lonely and need a hug.Ive hurt my back ,so didnt go clubbing.I'm tempted to phone my ex-boyfriend and ask him round for a cuddle. This is a bad idea as in the past he abuses t...
A. 16 September 2007: If any man treats you any less than like a queen, you don't want him anyway. If he takes liberties with you he is not the man for you.
The desire to have someone close and not actually have that can cause seemingly un-bearable pain.
What you need... (read in full...)
My loving, wonderful boyfriend has changed since his return from Iraq. I don't know what to do.
Q. hay guys! right i have no idea were to start i met this guy 2 yrs ago! the perfect guy eva! we fell in love almost straight away! then he found out he had to go away for 8 months with the army to iraq! then half way though the trip he got a we...
A. 16 September 2007: We see our loved ones off to Iraq and the next time we see them they are different. What has happened between the time we kiss them and hug them goodby and the time we see them again?
I am kind of a surrogate father to a man who calls me dad and ... (read in full...)
I like this girl, but I'm nervous to talk to her. Any advice?
Q. ok this is how it is theres this girl i like at school but i cant seem to talk to her i know she isnt interested in me but i really like her any advice?...
A. 8 September 2007: I liked this cheerleader in highschool. I worshipped the ground she walked on but I could not bring myself to even talk to her even though she and I were in a class together. I eventually started dropping little anonymous notes in her locker and ... (read in full...)
It's been 4 years, and there's talk of marriage. Should I have Sex with him now??
Q. I have been dating my bf for 4 years and we haven't had sex yet. We both agreed from the start that we wanted a strong relationship first. Earlier in the year he asked me to marry him but it was like a...oh yeah by the way...type of proposal. Nee...
A. 8 September 2007: Well, if it were me you would have no doubt as to my intententions. It doesn't sound to me like he is very excited to be in your company. This tells me he just likes having you around for convenience sake. I definitely would not give it up to this ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife or work on through?
Q. Should I leave my wife or work on through? My wife and I have been married for 6 years and have a 5 1/2 year old daughter. For a couple of years things have been tough and we hadn't been getting on. She kissed and frolicked with other people ...
A. 8 September 2007: The tough thing is that you have to decide what you want to do. For an un-biased and objective viewpoint I have supplied a link. Please look it over carefully. This is a site I trust imiplicitly and it has very good advice. There are also other li... (read in full...)
How can I get over a break-up????
Q. HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK-UP? it's second time i 'm breaking up wth my bf and it's always me. he loves me and treats me good. he's everything that i ever dream of (charming,romantic,good looking, good career etc..i believe my big issue is that i ve ...
A. 8 September 2007: Regardless of the situation, a break up is always hard to deal with. It may be that you will never be able to be with him but the pain, although intense now, will gradually and eventually subside. You also indicate you think it may all be your ... (read in full...)
What do I need to know to be a good kisser?
Q. I'm 12 and I have been going out with this boy for about a month now. I really want to kiss him and he really wants to kiss me too but I'm scared that I will be a rubbish kisser and I am afraid he will dump me for it. I am Quite shy around him too ...
A. 8 September 2007: Sugar, You have nothing to worry about. We all started with a first kiss. You need to remember, He may also be experiencing his first kiss with you, so he will not know at this point whether you are a good kisser or a bad kisser. All he will know is ... (read in full...)
It's my cousin! What can I do?
Q. Please, can somone help me? I am in love with my 1st cousin and she has feelings for me but I don't have a problem with her being my cousin but she has been told she would be cut out of familys life if it ever was to happen so i think she's scared ...
A. 8 September 2007: I would recommend you check the laws in your country, I don't think there are laws against first cousin relationships but that would be a first step in a case like this. The other thing is to take it a step at a time. You may have to gradually get ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to tell her that I got drunk and cheated on her!
Q. I've been in a relationship for over 18 months. after 9 months I moved to another country and engaged to her right before coming. our plan is that after 12 months I would bring her with me as the visa paperworks didn't allow me to bring her with me ...
A. 4 September 2007: Boy did you ever screw up!
This is a tough situation. Fraternizing with a co-worker to that degree was your first mistake. Your second mistake was getting drunk with that co-worker.
If you think you can keep that from her I would say don't let her ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that if I move in with him we'll never get married!
Q. My bf and I been together for 2 and 1/2 years. Our relaionshop had been like a roller coaster. Our last crazy fight was about a month ago. We haven't had any more disagreement since, but we are in a long distance relationship and we've always ...
A. 4 September 2007: You took the words right out of my mouth. And milk is getting more expensive every day.
I am not your avarage male so I must go on what I have seen others do in these cases.
When I see this situation and a woman moves in with the guy, usually ... (read in full...)
Forbidden or not?
Q. I am adopted and I was wondering if it would be wrong to date my cousin? I don't think it's incest at all or anything. I really like my cousin. He is a boy. Please help me. Thank you....
A. 2 September 2007: I would consider the state laws where you live.
In the state where I reside it is against the law to marry your step brother or step sister. However, if you were to marry someone and THEN your mother marries your spouses father or your father marr... (read in full...)
Hi, I'm 13 and I want to have sex.
Q. Hi, I'm 13 and I want to have sex. My girlfriend said no. I don't want to pressure her but i want it sooo bad. I really love her but i don't know if i should break up with her. please help me i don't know what to do....
A. 2 September 2007: Young man, you are too young to be worried about sex already.
True, you have the drive to have sex but that is only because your body is coursing with lots of hormones. This doesn't mean you are ready to take on all the responsibilities of sex.
Ar... (read in full...)
It's obvious he likes me but he's already engaged in a relation...
Q. Well i like this lad who is 19 he is 19 too he works in a pub im in all the time n he always says hello and smiles n bye he always waves too. Well last nite he was in out clubbin and i seen him he was constantly looking at me he must of waved and ...
A. 2 September 2007: Well, consider both sides.
Do you want to ruin the relationship he has with her just to get what you want?
And if he does throw in the towel with her what's to say he would not do the same with you later for someone else.
I would say you have som... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any tips about squirting?
Q. Can anyone help me please? My partner and I experiment in bed and we saw a porn film that involved a lady who squirted her cum. We have since tried this ourselves with no joy... does anyone have any tips? ...
A. 2 September 2007: As I was moderating I found something pertaining to just such a question and I did happen to note the website that was supplied. However, I don't remember the particular question for you to refer to.
Anyway, here is the link. I just took a glan... (read in full...)
My 12 year old daughter is viewing graphic porn!
Q. My 12 year old daughter looks at porn on the internet. I already talked to her about it. But I'm worried. She's been going on some really nasty sites. Sites that use the F word, P word, and c word. She's been going on quite alot of them to. She does ...
A. 2 September 2007: This needs to be stopped now!
Most of the stuff on the internet is garbage even for adults to watch. There are probably many who will disagree with me on this but here are some eye opening statistics you may want to consider: The National Study Comm... (read in full...)
Girlfriend or Education? Please help me decide.
Q. I am a 19 year boy. I don't want to have a girlfriend because I think I should finish my education first. What do you think?...
A. 2 September 2007: There is nothing wrong with waiting until you have all your ducks in a row before carrying on a relationship with a girlfriend. Actually, the more distractions you have out of the way while you are getting your education the more you can focus on ... (read in full...)
I'm 13. Am I ready for sex?
Q. Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl 14 in two weeks an I'm stuck in a situation because I met this boy on msn and he's really nice to me an everything. I've seen him before but the thing is he wants to have sex with me and I am fine with that but I'm still a ...
A. 2 September 2007: Not only is sex at your age illegal but you are too young to start down that road in any case.
A sexual relationship should never ever happen until you are ready to take on a whole host of responsiblilities that comes with it.
You have lots of ... (read in full...)
I have come to realise no matter how much he means to me I can't come to terms with the fact he has kids (he is divorced). Should I leave?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship of two years with a man who I get on really well with. We never argue, laugh alot together, and the sexual chemistry is strong. He is 12 years older than me and has two grown up children (16 and 20). He just recently got ...
A. 1 September 2007: I would take a good long look at what you really want here.
Do you want him or don't you? If you do you will do whatever it takes to keep him, kids or no. Also at at the age the kids are they will be out on there own before you know it and they... (read in full...)
How can I make this whole "sleeping with a friend who has a girlfriend" situation better?
Q. after a party a couple of months things got out of hand and i became very drunk , things led as they do and i comitted a sin , my friend and i slept together we are 14 and were not thinkin strate , he also had a girlfriend who he claims is his life ...
A. 1 September 2007: Sweetie,
This is just how little lies can snowball into big ugly avalanches. You tell one lie and then have to tell another lie to cover the first and so on.
The bad thing is that there is probably no way in this situation to make things better. ... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 1 September 2007: You don't say how long he was married.
He is going to have a gaping emotional wound that is going to take time to heal. The longer he was with his wife, the larger that wound will be thus the longer it will take for it to heal. Even when healed ther... (read in full...)
I feel depressed and resorted to drinking...
Q. I have resorted to getting drunk because it makes me smile a little which is better than how I feel depressed all the time! I get depressed when my drink is finished and I start to get sober. I am sad because I am lonely, I thought that I could fi...
A. 1 September 2007: Hi sugar,
Please take this to heart.
Drinking is never ever the answer and as I have seen many times it can ruin your life.
There are going to be bumps and bruises you get from living life and agreed sometimes you need something to help you get... (read in full...)
A friendly rendezvous ended with us kissing in the car and me questioning every moment of it!
Q. A friendly rendezvous ended with us kissing in the car and me questioning every moment of it. I don’t know what my feelings are. We’ve known each other for just over two months and in a few days her visit here will end and she will return over...
A. 1 September 2007: You may need to remember that not everything is cut and dried. A diamond may look like just another piece of quartz until all the rough edges are cut away to reveal the true beauty of the stone.
This may also be the case with this relationship. It c... (read in full...)
Is it true the longer you wait to have sex the harder it gets ??
Q. Hey I am 16 and I am still a virgin I feel worried that I will never find anyone to have sex with because all my friends have boyfriends and are having sex and saying how good it is. I am afraid that the longer I wait the harder it will get. Is it ...
A. 1 September 2007: Sweetheart,
You are still young and there is plenty of time for you to have sex and regardless of what anyone has said or told you it won't get harder.
In fact, I have spoken with many who have had sex when very young and those who have waited t... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't care for sex much and when we do make love, he finishes too fast and gets annoyed at himself
Q. my husband and i have been married for 5 years,and he says he loves me but he don't care for sex too much is there a problem with that? and also when we have sex he cums to quick then he gets mad because he can't give me what i want. please help!...
A. 26 July 2007: There are some who just don't care for sex and can take it or leave it.
My dad was that sort of person. He and my mother loved each other dearly (We lost him in 2001) but it seemed that sex was too much of a bother to him. My mother says she at f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says there's no problem but he never orgasms during sex
Q. Dear cupid, i have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 mths now. and each time we make love he never has an orgasm. he does enjoy the sex and he always has an erection when are making love. i am worried is this normal not to have an orgasm?....
A. 26 July 2007: There could be any number of reasons for this. It could be a physical or medical problem or it could possibly be a mental problem.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying he may be a little off or the like, but there could be something that ment... (read in full...)
Are girls only interested in a man with money?
Q. are there people out who find it as hard as i do to understand what ladies really want? coz it seems very clear to me that all that girls consider in relationships is money.. unfortunately i dont seem to be that lucky coz am still a university ...
A. 26 July 2007: Let me tell you friend,
if all a girl is interested in is money you don't want her anyway because her focus will only be on money and not on you.
That will for sure make for a short relationship because even if she will never be satisfie... (read in full...)
After the death of her father she has grown dependent on me. Will these feelings go away?
Q. My girlfriend just lost her father in a car accident very recently and it has changed the way she thinks and feels about me. She has grown very attached and dependent upon me. I just want to know some ways that will help us through this hard time ...
A. 7 July 2007: I am sure the dependancy will taper off as the pain subsides. I am sure you have heard of someone feeling vulnerable? Well that is the situation she is in right now. She has just had a very large part of her life torn away from her unexpectedly and ... (read in full...)
I feel so alone now that I'd take anybody.
Q. My grandma died and my boyfriend dumped me in the same week. I use to be in a long distance relationship i didn't see my friends much i don't have any close friends and i can't speak to my family. The closest person i had was my boyfriend he dumped ...
A. 3 May 2007: Sweetheart, you have enough things going on right now that it is no wonder you feel this way. Your emotions are working overtime right now and it is going to take some time but things will get better in the emotions department. You will find someone ... (read in full...)
He came inside me this time but I still got my period. How could that happen?
Q. okay, so he came INSIDE me this time but i still got my period and im fine... HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN? im soo confused...
A. 3 May 2007: If you don't know how this is possible, you are definitely too young to be having any sexual relationships.
Pregnancy is a hit and miss thing. Some women get pregnant right away others may go for years and never get pregnant. You just never can pred... (read in full...)
What is the likelihood that I am pregnant again 13 days after just having my baby?
Q. I just had sex and it has only been 13 days after I had my baby. yes he came in me. I want to know the likelihood that I will get pregnant because my friend told me it was 100% that I am pregnant again and that I am dropping eggs left and right...is ...
A. 30 April 2007: You are the exception to the rule in this case. In most cases a woman is advized not to have sex for the first six weeks after pregnancy to allow things to heal. Also, usually until that six week period has gone by, sex is usually the furthest thing ... (read in full...)
What do men like in a woman? A strong woman or a girly type?
Q. being a young lady growing up in todays society I feel a little confused as to what a womans role is anymore ? or what do men find attractive in a woman ? I am very aware of womens lib and i do support it, but a little part of me can't help bu...
A. 16 April 2007: Whatever you do, don't try to be a square peg fitting into a round hole. It just doesn't work.
Just be yourself and a guy that fits your expectations will come along. I have never been one to "go out with the guys" and I have never required my wife... (read in full...)
How do I stop ejaculating so quickly?
Q. how do you stop yourself from ejaculating to quick? I used to be able to last longer!! but now seem to be to quick, is it because im enjoying myself to much? i wnt my gf to enjoy it aswell its not fair....
A. 7 April 2007: It is difficult to define what is premature. If a man takes eight minutes to ejaculate and his partner only takes two minutes then you could not really call it premature on the part of the male. However, if a man takes fifteen minutes to ejaculate ... (read in full...)
I love him but he's been two-timing me with his fiance!
Q. I met a man at work who was in a long-term relationship... we started off being very good friends but then became alot closer until we fell for each other. I kept it quiet and we continued to go to lunch, dinners, drinks together... We got to the ...
A. 7 April 2007: What are you thinking!?
You say you love him, but what makes you think for one minute that he would not do the very same thing to you, should he leave his fiance for you?
This guy has no sense of loyalty. If you did get him to leave his fiance f... (read in full...)
I like this guy, how do I know if he likes me too?
Q. dear cupid, there is this guy and i really like him but i dont know if he likes me what should i do ...
A. 7 April 2007: Sweetheart, just stay available to the guy. If you keep an eye on him and he does like you there will be signs you will pick up on. Most importantly, be yourself. Don't put on a mask, so to speak, to impress him. In most cases a person will begin to ... (read in full...)
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