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... Send *r. John a private message | | | *r. John's profile:I am a husband of 28 years with a 28 year old son and a 24 year old daughter. (And a pretty one at that.)
I live about 35 miles south of Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA.
Currently a mechanical engineer in a division of the company that makes Peterbuilt and Kenworth trucks and winches, but have recently earned my Phd. in Psychology.
Now all I have to do is pay off my tuition and I will have my diploma in my hot little hand.
I have lots of life experience as well and the desire to help all whom I can.
I am also have interests in physics, chemistry, genetics, astronomy and other areas of science. |
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Teacher facys me what should I do?
Q. Hi, my maths teacher fancys me, what should i do to stop him liking me or to make sure nothing at all he trys to do. Also i don't like him, i'm not the person who would start liking a teacher. Plz help if you can. Any help would be great. Thaks to ...
A. 11 November 2007: Just keep this in mind. If your teacher tries anything you let him know that you will not keep quiet about it.
And don't let any threats worry you. If he does threaten you then you go straight to the office and report it.
I am sure though t... (read in full...)
How to forget some one after liking them for 4 years.
Q. Hi, how do you forget the person you've liked for so many years (4 years) and havent told the, and that person don't have a clue at all of how you feel....
A. 11 November 2007: I would not worry too much. Especially at your age the hurt will go away in a reasonably short time.
Right now it may feel like you can't go on, but trust me, it will start to get better in a few days or so. Doc... (read in full...)
How to I Stop Having Urges to Self-Injure?
Q. I know this isn't a romance question but maybe you can help me anyway. Over the last year I've been having more trouble dealing with my problems in healthy ways, and when I am overwhelmed my knee jerk thought is to hurt myself, to cut myself ...
A. 10 November 2007: This is a difficult problem to take by the horns.
It certainly would not be prudent to try to give you psychological counseling in this kind of setting.
I have looked up a couple of articles on a website I trust implicitly. I am sure you will be ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't like me very much anymore.
Q. My husband doesn't seem excited about me anymore. He doesn't kiss or touch me passionately. He doesn't look in my eyes and makes his feelings known. He puts forth very little effort to make me feel emotionally fullfilled, even when I ask him to. ...
A. 10 November 2007: It is difficult to have to deal with all these kinds of problems.
However, the place to start is in your own mind. Your own self esteem may need work but that is just the seed of the tree.
It may be difficult but you need to smile even when you... (read in full...)
Quite randomly what does this mean
Q. hi, ok there is this guy at university that apparently likes me, his best friend told me he does. however i dont know whether to believe him. but anyway, my question is the guy that apprently likes me asked me a wierd question, and i would liek any ...
A. 10 November 2007: It sounds to me like he might be a guy with a foot fetish.
Don't be put off by this but different guys have different likes and dislikes. Some guys are boob guys or some like to watch a woman as she is walking away. A foot fetish is much the same... (read in full...)
Why is he doing this? I'm giving him the divorce
Q. I dont get this, after my husband cheated on me. I gave him the divorce papers and then he started to beg me to not break up. Why things like this happen? I don't get why would you cheat and then when the person you are is leaving you beg them to ...
A. 10 November 2007: It sounds like he now realizes he screwed up and has had a chance to assess the situation and is now in a panic.
He probably took you for granted and is now realizing the weight of the consequences. Doc... (read in full...)
To chase or not to chase?
Q. I got this problem I'm undecided on what I to do. See the story goes like this. I'll admit growing up I never was really social, I was that insecure kid when i came to everything. I ended up meeting this wonderful girl 4 years ago. At the time I ...
A. 9 November 2007: Whatever happens don't let it go by without finding out.
I did that and found out after it was too late that she loved me and would have taken me in a hot minute.
I was devastated. How I wish I could turn back time. Doc... (read in full...)
Am I foolish or should I trust him?
Q. PLEASE HELP!!!! I have a boyfriend of 15 months who is so good to me. He's everything I could ever ask for. Smart, funny, attentive, and so kind to me...truly everything. We are both early 40's. The problem is that when we first started ...
A. 9 November 2007: Don't be too hard on him.
He could have tried to hide the other dates from you, but he didn't.
I think if he was not trust worthy you would have had to find out the other dates on your own.
Has he given you any other reason(s) to distrust him... (read in full...)
How do I lift my self esteem?
Q. I am 23 years old and have never had a real relationship before. I have had a boyfriend in the past but it was nothing serious. There was no real passion, love or a deep emotional connection between the two of us. Thinking back, there was nothing ...
A. 9 November 2007: Dear dear Joya,
Take heart.
Out there somewhere living and breating with a heart beating in his chest is someone for you!
You just have not crossed paths as yet. Or maybe you have and just have not found it out yet.
When I was your age I suffe... (read in full...)
I know she's very immature and neglectful in relationships, we broke up but I still get jealous and ask her to check her inbox. Should I finish it all?
Q. hi, i am in a 'sort of' relationship where my partner is unable to have children, we were ok'ish for 7 months, but we've split up but have decided to remain sexual partners. i want to split it up completly but i still love her and i know that she ...
A. 9 November 2007: For one thing, you need to stay the heck out of her inbox. You have no business in her e-mail even if you were married!
If she trusts you enough, she will share what is in there with you voluntarily. But trust is earned not forced.
Furth... (read in full...)
My bf of 2 yrs drinks daily, I don't think this is healthy for a family life. Wonder if I need to move on.
Q. Well i've been with my boyfriend over 2 years we've had many downs and ups but now im wondering if he is the right guy for me for my future cos if not then i need to move on. Sometimes i find he is selfish and doesn't respect my feelings. But mo...
A. 9 November 2007: A glass of wine or a beer daily is not bad for you and in fact is quite good for you.
However, when the drinking ends up in excess it when the problem arises.
When indeed someone is an excessive drinker, they need to first admit to themselv... (read in full...)
Am I being a jerk?
Q. It's been eight months since i broke up with my high school sweetheart of four years. She's pregnant and getting married but i still think about her. I've dated alot and got over most of the junk with a relationship that lasted three months. I'm ...
A. 9 November 2007: First you really need to examine your motives. Do you take on these girls just because you want someone with you or are you honestly trying to find someone compatible with you who will stay with you?
It may or may not surprise you to know that your... (read in full...)
Should I stop before it gets out of hand?
Q. I am 19 and have met a guy (45) who is really nice and i am friends with but latley we have started to kiss and touch each other. Is this ok or should i stop before it gets out of hand??...
A. 7 November 2007: I met a 22 year old girl one day who was surrounded by children. She told me they were her grandchildren!
I was somewhat surprised to say the least, but she explained that actually they were her step-grandchildren. Her husband was 45 at that time... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and haven't had a period in 1 1/2 months
Q. Im sort of scared. I've not had my period for about a month and a half. I cant be pregnant as i am a virgin. Is something wrong with me???...
A. 7 November 2007: At this point I would not worry too much.
Your period is regulated by horemonal balance.
If something causes an imbalance such as illness or various stresses, it could very well cause irregularity in menses, or your period.
Of course if this cont... (read in full...)
How can I make my boyfriend ejaculate?
Q. I kind of have a problem, see i can give my boyfriend boners all the time but i have never made him ejaculate. Can you please give me some ways i can get him to ejaculate. Thanks...
A. 7 November 2007: This sounds to me like it may be a condition known as "Delayed ejaculation" or "Retarded ejaculation".
If this is indeed the problem it is usually difficult to treat although it is treatable.
There could be any of several reasons for this conditio... (read in full...)
I'm worried that he's not attracted to me.
Q. My boyfriend sometimes looks at other girls (like checking them out)- does this mean that he isn't attracted to me or that he would like to have sex with these girls? Does he look at them because he is bored of me? Is it because I am too ugly for ...
A. 6 November 2007: I don't think you have anything to worry about. It is possible to window shop without purchasing the goods so to speak.
The way many women dress in many cases nowadays is to attract the attention of the opposite sex.
It is simply flatteri... (read in full...)
How do I make the most of the first kiss?
Q. My boyfriend is visiting me in 2 months. How do i make our date extra special... and how do i make the most of our first kiss. I'm madly in love with him...
A. 28 October 2007: Be yourself and take it as it comes. Just close your eyes and focus on the kiss itself. Don't think about anything else like what he thinks about your lipstick or the color of the skirt you are wearing. Anything but the moment of that kiss will be ... (read in full...)
How to make her comfortable in a romantic way?
Q. I love a girl. She is my friend for years and we went out as friends but we only talk general stuff.. and now she is saying its not gona work because we only talk general stuff.. She said we can try it but no hopes.. so I don't know what I need...
A. 28 October 2007: My brother was and is still jealous of me. He says I always had a girl on each arm. I guess he is right now that I think about it. The only thing I did was to treat them as they were the only thing that mattered to me. Choose carefully the wo... (read in full...)
I would move out if I could afford it.
Q. I am feeling really angry towards my mum at the moment and I don't know what to do about it. Mum and Dad have just returned from holiday, but I feel really evil because I kept thinking how peaceful it was when they were away. The see the thing is ...
A. 28 October 2007: There could be any number of reasons for her behavior.
You may have to sit down with her in a relaxed situation and talk to her and ask her why she is being that way.
I know of one mother/daughter relationship where neither see eye to eye and it s... (read in full...)
I can't get divorced because of religious/ culteral reasons.
Q. I have been married for 21 years. I have 2 children, both teenagers.My husband is a workaholic, we rarely spend time with each other. Since the birth of our last child in 1993 our sex life has dwindle to almost nothing. If we do have sex, i usually ...
A. 28 October 2007: You have obviously got some problems going on here. It seems you are between a rock and a hard place and don't know in which direction to go at this point.
It is easy for those that are not in your situation to sit back and say; Oh, you should have... (read in full...)
How to stop missing him so much.
Q. I went up to visit my Mom and a guy I liked this summer, we ended up getting extremly close and going out. He asked me to marry him, I said yes. We are quite young but we have also known each other our entire lives and I couldn't be happier with ...
A. 28 October 2007: Hon, if you really love someone there is nothing that will make you miss them less. The only thing you can do is to somehow tolerate it for the time being, even though that might be quite a difficult thing to do.
My wife and I carried on a long long... (read in full...)
Have I missed anything?
Q. There is this guy in one of my classes. When I first saw him at the beginning of the semester I thought he was really cute and had a great personality. A few weeks ago I was not going to be in class so I asked him if I gave him my number can he let ...
A. 28 October 2007: My advice is to just follow his lead.
His "girl" could be little more than just a casual aquaintance.
It may be that it is just too inconvenient a relationship for him so he may be looking to find someone else.
I would just go on as though there... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to be touched or kissed by me.
Q. I'm 22 and starting dating a girl this past summer. She had recently ended a 2 year relationship. We would see each other everyday and had an awesome time together. We both knew that she was starting grad school this semester and I would still be ...
A. 28 October 2007: In my opinion she was way too willing to break it off with you. That coupled with not wanting to be kissed or touched by anyone indicates to me that she may have someone she has connected with that she didn't wish to divulge to you.
This is usua... (read in full...)
I need help with an inter-racial decision.
Q. I need opinions on Inter-racial dating. I am a mexican/white girl. I have been goin out with man of black skin for the past month. I really think he is cool. However, the people in town do not always apporove. Also my mexican friend revolts and ...
A. 21 October 2007: Hon, when you speak or think of another person you should never think of him or her as being "another race."
If I were to try to think of some of my friends from other ethnic groups I would have trouble because nationality has no bearing with me. ... (read in full...)
Where is my Prince?
Q. Are there any good men left out there? Pretty much all the men I have ever met in my life have been terrible. They have all pretty much been uncaring, unromantic, unfaithful, shallow, and rude. Which makes me wonder, are there any decent guys still ...
A. 21 October 2007: My advice is always the same for women in your situation.
Women should ALWAYS be treated as queens. There does seem to be an over abundance of men who do not realize this and usually treat women with little regard.
Sometimes a woman may need to ... (read in full...)
Size does matter.
Q. I have an average size penis, 5.5 inches, and my girlfriend says she like ones that aren't small but aren't too big. Can anyone help me with size, positions or really just any advice. It would be great to hear from a fellow average sized person who ...
A. 21 October 2007: Yes you are indeed average and you have probably already heard that it is not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean that matters. Well, that is more true than most men would like to believe.
However, I have spoken with those with much... (read in full...)
Strange question.
Q. I have weird question. Is it true that if you kiss a girl that did oral sex in the past, you will be kissing back her partner's private part?...
A. 21 October 2007: Not in a literal sense. The thing is, it is the same thing if you have sex of any kind with one person whom has had sex with two other persons, you are in effect having sex with all three. In turn, should any one of them or even all three of them ... (read in full...)
What are the rules for dating a professor.
Q. Hey all. I'm 20 years old, a 2nd year college student, and I fancy my 28 yr old professor. I have no idea what may or may not happen (I have my dreams), but what are the rules for dating in a college setting? I mean dating, not sex (not till I ...
A. 14 October 2007: Dating your professor may not be a great idea.
There could be many problems arise from doing this.
Not only that, most colleges have strict rules governing such things.
I have supplied a link to a website you may want to check out. It should gi... (read in full...)
Will this lead to a break-up?
Q. my boyfriend says he's confused about our relationship and needs time alone, we've been together a year now and i love him so much. Will this lead to a break-up?...
A. 13 October 2007: If this is all he is telling you, he is a bit vague.
I know of many relationships that have had similar circumstances. In most cases that is just what they need. Just a little time to get their head on straight. Give it a little time and see wher... (read in full...)
I'm attractive, but I know I didn't do anything to provoke harassment.
Q. Hi everyone, I have a slight problem. Its kind of long so please bare with me. Ok, Iam 20 years old. I been working at my job now for two months. I work at a store and I really love it. Ever since I have started working there I had the biggest crush ...
A. 13 October 2007: This guy will eventually get himself in trouble. He is using his position to take advantage of subordinates. You need to decide whether or not this is sexual harrassment. You say it was not un-wanted so it is fair to say you can't really yell sexual ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Big milestone..... over 300,000 unique visitors over the past month :-)
Q. Cool... Over the past month, from Sept 8th to Oct 9th we had over 300,000 unique visitors to the site! According to google analytics we had 302,516 visitors. It doesn't seem that long ago I was posting when we had passed 250,000 visitors/month. ...
A. 13 October 2007: Congratulations!
I was ready to start my own site to help people in just this way. Instead I found this site and became a member and am proud to be able to help those with questions and help as a moderator. Let's all keep it up! Doc... (read in full...)
I really like him and don't know what to do.
Q. hi there iv been seeing this guy for about 3 weeks technically we r not going out.But i feel really insecure and am getting upset over the smallest things (like when we are out he'll comment how this other girls 'hot') Is he doing this to make me ...
A. 13 October 2007: It may just be too soon to know what is going to happen in this relationship. It would do you well just to let things happen as they will.
This is a realatively delicate time in a new relationship because if a guy doesn't know what he wants he will... (read in full...)
I don't know how this can help but...................
Q. Below is an account for the last three years of my relasonship with my partner, i don't know what i want to acchive from writing this i don't even know why i'm writing this but i am still in this relasonship and i hate it but can't leave why? I do...
A. 6 October 2007: Yes this can and probably has helped you a bit. It is called a catharsis and gives you the chance to talk things out and get things off your chest, so to speak. It sounds like you have been through a lot. Hope things get better for you. Doc... (read in full...)
I like this guy, but I don't want to get picked on.
Q. there is a guy at school i really like, i have liked him for a few months now, he always gets called names at school cos he sometimes smells a bit sweaty. i know its not nice but i still like him. he doesn't always keep his self looking perfect and ...
A. 6 October 2007: Why not give him a chance?
It sounds like he is a very nice guy although he may need a little help understanding that he needs to pay a bit more attention to his personal hygene.
That usually takes care of itself when a guy starts seeing a girl.
I... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't respect my feeling when it comes to his ex.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for 5 months and I have a big problem – one of his ex-girlfriends. They have been broken up for over 3 years, didn’t go out for very long and my boyfriend says he never thought of her as anything other than a frien...
A. 6 October 2007: The big question is, is he really done with her? It doesn't sound like it to me.
If he was really done with her he would have no problem with, for all intents and purposes, turning and walking away from her.
He needs to pay more attention to you a... (read in full...)
"He loves me, he loves me not," I'm confused..
Q. hello when i met my boyfriend five months ago, we both agreed to have fun and see how it goes. i felt though that in the beginning he was unwilling to commit. he is extremely kind to me very thoughtful and very helpful. he never however told me ...
A. 6 October 2007: If he was truly serious about you he would have told you everything from the start and he would not have let this other stay with him when you were supposed to be his one and only.
By doing what he did and acting the way he did damaged your rela... (read in full...)
My husband is addicted to porn.
Q. I find that my husband watches porn every day even though he knows I don't like it. It makes me jealous because I now feel that he is looking for someone with bigger tits and better looking. It hurts my feelings but he says I am just a crazy ...
A. 24 September 2007: I have found a website which showes some sobering statistics. Perhaps your husband should read them.
Go to the site and look under "Shaping of attitudes and relationships."
Hope this helps. Doc
http://www.fi... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 24 September 2007: Continue on to get help. You never know what can come from trying to right any wrong.
You just may be able to reclaim things as you wish. You are obviously trying or you would never have sought help in the first place. Hang in there. Doc... (read in full...)
How do I dirty up my married sex life?
Q. I want to be really dirty and do dirty things during sex w/ my husband but we're both too shy. When we first started sleeping together I was drunk, and I had him talk dirty to me, and I let loose. Now I am pregnant (again) so I feel really ...
A. 23 September 2007: Sometimes it is necessary to bite the bullet so to speak and talk to him about it. I know sometimes it is difficult to talk about together but hey, you already swap body fluids together. What is more intimate than that. I am supplying a link to an ... (read in full...)
To be in love with two people at once, is it possible?
Q. is it possible to be in love with two people at once? i know u can love two people at once, but can someone be in love with two peops at once? any opinions? my friends girlfriend recons she's torn b'cus she is inlove with two men. is it possible?...
A. 23 September 2007: Sure it is. The problem is, you can have only one because as they say "two is company, three is a crowd."
A healthy relationship can only be carried on one on one not one on two. (No pun intended)
If you try to carry on a relationship it causes t... (read in full...)
Can someone who is in love cheat on you?
Q. my byf cheated on my but says it was a mistake and he really loves me. I wont take him back. Is it possible that someone who is in love with you could cheat on u? i reckon he's lieing about his feelings cus the other girl didnt want him in the end. ...
A. 23 September 2007: If this guy could not be loyal to you right out of the gate how can you depend on anything else he may tell you. His actions definitely spoke louder than his words so listen to them. Doc.... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 22 September 2007: The one good thing I see on your part is that you are at least you are making the attempt to try to correct the problem on your end.
Think of this though. I have known of guys whom if they have the opportunity to take advantage of a girl they are ... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 16 September 2007: The first thing you need to realize is that this happened before you were married, right? Did you even know her when this was happening to her?
Secondly, some guys have mastered the art of intimidation with women. They have figured out how to basi... (read in full...)
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