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... Send *r. John a private message | | | *r. John's profile:I am a husband of 28 years with a 28 year old son and a 24 year old daughter. (And a pretty one at that.)
I live about 35 miles south of Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA.
Currently a mechanical engineer in a division of the company that makes Peterbuilt and Kenworth trucks and winches, but have recently earned my Phd. in Psychology.
Now all I have to do is pay off my tuition and I will have my diploma in my hot little hand.
I have lots of life experience as well and the desire to help all whom I can.
I am also have interests in physics, chemistry, genetics, astronomy and other areas of science. |
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My Mom snoops when I'm on the internet, I find her lack of trust very irritating, how do I get her to stop?
Q. hi i am 14 and in year 10 and my mom keeps on being nosy about what i do on the internet.i am not doing anything bad or wrong all i do is go on msn and myspace maybe play on games. she clearly thinks i am up to somthing which is wrong she always a...
A. 1 January 2008: Hon, I know it is frustrating but later in life you will understand why this is a necessary part of life right now, especially for parents who care about their children.
The internet is a frightening place if you know how to check it.
I have log... (read in full...)
When I am near him I either become too shy, either go in a verbal frenzy. Why? And how to ask him out?
Q. I really like this boy who I go to a club with at school. I want to ask him out I just cant, Im normally really outgoing but when Im around him I either go really shy or talking loads and I really dont know what to do. Please help I would really ...
A. 1 January 2008: If it is really such a difficult thing to tell him face to face then how about writing it down along with the reason and give it to him when you are heading different directions so that it puts the ball in his court. Leave it open to him whether he ... (read in full...)
My husband cheated with a teenager, we are trying to work through it but I can't get the images out of my head
Q. My husband is trying hard to save our marriage after his affair with a teenage girl. I believe it is over and he is behaving now. He is nicer to me than ever and is going to relate with me. He still when explaining thing makes me feel it was my ...
A. 1 January 2008: I have not experienced this myself but I know of those who have.
One couple I am distantly related to. He had an illicit relationship which almost destroyed them as far as their relationship goes. She very nearly threw him out and divorced him.... (read in full...)
Any ideas as to why my gf seems to be ignoring me??
Q. Heya, I have been seeing a girl now for just 1 month I no its not a long amout of time but i already feel that I realy like her as I have had a massive crush on her long before we started dating. The thing is I am already having doubts about her...
A. 1 January 2008: She is sounding somewhat wishy washy about your relationship. If she was serious about being with you she would not be acting such with other guys.
She may just be stringing you along.
Test this out. Try to be at her every beck and call. Do whate... (read in full...)
Did he go too far or is it my fault? I feel somewhat violated although we did not have sex.
Q. Ok this is kind of an awkward question to ask but I need to know. Today I hooked up with this kid. I'm really not very experienced but this seemed odd to me. The minute we started kissing he tried to unzip my pants and made it clear that he wanted ...
A. 1 January 2008: Some guys will not take no for an answer. Usually in these cases the girl will feel that she has done something wrong. You did not do wrong in telling him to stop but he did wrong in seeing how far he could get with you after you told him no.
H... (read in full...)
Is he worth being with?
Q. Hi, well earlier on today I had sent a message about how the father of my baby had proposed to me but I didn't know what to do or say whether YES or NO because of what he has done to me in the past. Well anyways in the morning I was cleaning...
A. 1 January 2008: I have been married 28 years and if another woman especially a good looking one was to come up and kiss me I would probably have a hard time making it look like I didn't enjoy it. That is not to say I would carry on a relationship with her.
You need... (read in full...)
Are men really that unsure about relationships? Is it just better to maintain a strict no contact policy from now?
Q. Happy New Year everyone. Well, I broke up with my boyfriend three months ago and even though I made it clear that I couldn't be his friend- not now anyway- he calls often. Last night, he came to my place- we live three hours away by train. Said he ...
A. 1 January 2008: I think if you look back to his earlier life you will see things that are probably causing this kind of behavior. What kind of father does he have? Mother?
Do either of them have a history of cheating?
Usually these are things that are learned ... (read in full...)
I'm being verbally abused by my mum. I'm so sad and want to tell someone but don't know who, I need help, what can I do?
Q. Hi all this isnt a love related question really but i didnt know where else to go. The thing is that i have a very bad relationship with my mam. She is mean to me says im fat even though im a size ten. She is always saying mean comments to me, tell...
A. 1 January 2008: Verbal abuse is abuse nevertheless and can even be worse than physical abuse.
You really do need help and need to speak with someone about this.
I have done some searching on the web and found a website that should give you a place to start. I... (read in full...)
How can we tell if my gf is starting to orgasm??
Q. Me and my girl had 1st time sex about 2 months ago[we're both 19]. Since then we've been having regular intercourse. Just recently ,during sex,my girl has started to "call out" and grasp the bedding. She says it's pleasure and just has to let go b...
A. 1 January 2008: One survey shows that about 0.2% start at age 11. The percentage goes up to 21% having their first orgasm at age 15, going gradually back down to 10.2% at age 19.
I think one way you can tell if she is reaching a climax is if she begins to call out ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ejaculates too quickly all the time, how do I help this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a year. We have sex fairly regularly, between one to four times a week. His problem is that most of the time he comes to soon. He likes to make sure I have an orgasm everytime we have sex, he's a ve...
A. 1 January 2008: I do believe it can as it is not based with anything that will cause latex to break down.
Trojan even makes a condom that is lubricated with benzocain. I believe they are called "Extended Pleasure Condoms." Check out the link. Enjoy. Doc
htt... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of warts?
Q. I just found out that having warts means you have HPV, im really down because im on my second out break with them within the last year,im so ashamed im now a carrier, is there anything i can do get rid of them forever?...
A. 31 December 2007: Human papillomavirus (HPV) is one of the most common causes of sexually transmitted infection (STI) in the world.
The link I am providing can answer your questions on this subject much better than I can within the scope of this website. Please chec... (read in full...)
My ex wants me back but he's hurt me in the past, how do I move on and find someone else?
Q. So New Year's Day would have been mine and my fiance's two year anniversary. I recently seperated. He was the love of my life. He still wants a relationship with me and wants to be my friend, but it's so difficult. I am hurting so bad right now, and ...
A. 31 December 2007: As impossible as it seems, it is possible.
No matter how bad a situation seems it is always possible to find a solution.
The emotional wounds that a separation causes will eventually heal. But there are always scars left to remind you.
If you go... (read in full...)
Do condoms really work?
Q. Okay so im really in love with my boyfriend and we want to have sex. Im scared the condom may break and so is he. He has everything going for him amaazing soccer player, super hot, and smart. He feels like it would be one of those " he had ...
A. 31 December 2007: Only once have I spoken with someone that has had a condom break.
Usually if this is going to be a problem it is when an unapproved lubricant is used with a condom which starts to break down the latex.
Condoms are subjected to many tests so they ... (read in full...)
My friend is 7 months pregnant and in denial, after hiding the pregnancy from everyone
Q. I've just found out my friend is 7 months pregnant - but she's kept the pregnancy a secret from everyone - family, friends, the father of the child (it was a one night stand with a friend). She's in total denial and won't talk to anyone about it....
A. 31 December 2007: Hon, there is nothing you will be able to do as long as she refuses to believe she needs help.
All you can do is make her realize that you are there for her no matter what the sitaution.
Once she admits to herself that she does need help she may ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if I'm too loose down below?
Q. i hear some of the guys out in the pub talk about girls being really loose down bellow, how can i tell if im 1 of them? do you get it from having 2 much sex?...
A. 31 December 2007: At your age I don't think you have anything to worry about.
The human body is an amazing thing. It stretches and strains, but then goes right back to where it should be.
The problem is that we all age and things happen.
Having children cau... (read in full...)
I've wanted her for just under 5 years, she's been in a relationship all this time, should I tell her how I feel?
Q. A few years ago in high school I met a girl who was wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, etc. We hung with the same crowd so we were friends and spent time together as a group. I guess I developed a crush on her. I always wanted to ask her out or to ...
A. 31 December 2007: This one has gotten away I'm afraid.
This has happened to me a couple of different times in my life.
Trust me, the feelings for them have never ever gone away.
The thing you need to do is come to grips with it.
Make yourself realize you can ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ejaculates too quickly all the time, how do I help this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a year. We have sex fairly regularly, between one to four times a week. His problem is that most of the time he comes to soon. He likes to make sure I have an orgasm everytime we have sex, he's a ve...
A. 31 December 2007: I am not sure of the availability where you are but there are products commercially available that will delay climax for a time and give him more control over it.
You can buy just about any product with 1% to 2% benzocain. It can even be a firs... (read in full...)
I'm still a virgin wife!
Q. hi evry body i really feel i am so depressed i keep crying i am married women i love my husband like crazy and he too but the problem is i am still a virgin after 8 moths of narried he scared to hurt me and once he try its just not stand any more i ...
A. 31 December 2007: What you need at the forefront is good communication.
You need to sit down with him and let him know how you feel and you need to listen to how he feels.
The guessing games need to stop and you need to know what is on each other's minds.
This is t... (read in full...)
We got back together again but I feel like I made a big mistake. Any advice?
Q. i broke up withmy boyfriend of 4 years but we got back together after about 4 weeks now been together a further 3 months, i feel like i made a mistake i really like this guy (who i was seeing whilst we were apart) and i feel like i just need to be ...
A. 31 December 2007: Sounds like you need to step back a bit and examine your relationship with him a little closer.
Think about the reason(s) you separated from him in the first place.
What will happen if you go back with him?
Are you going to end up in the same sit... (read in full...)
What makes a good relationship?
Q. I am kinda curious of what makes a good relationship? We all know Trust and communication but there has to be more layers than this? does anyone Know ...
A. 30 December 2007: Good communication.
Place your mate above yourself as your mate should do with you.
You should both be ready to listen to the other and be reasonable about what they are saying.
I presume you are not married but what you want to do is use these ke... (read in full...)
I told my insecure gf to move on if she did not trust me. She did. What can I do now?
Q. my girlfriend of 8 months recently broke up,due to me telling her if she did not trust me to move on. she is very insecure. she slept with a person 2 nights in a row and says he showed her the attention she was wanting. she will not talk to me for ...
A. 30 December 2007: You told her to move on if she didn't trust you.
She did what you told her to do and now you want to know why she did that?!
Two things.
Aparently you weren't giving her much attention, and aparently she doesn't trust you. What do you think? Doc... (read in full...)
We kiss, but he never asks me out!
Q. there's this guy i like; we met through my friend. we get on really well and talk to each other alot... we throw parties all the time, and he comes along and mostly all of the time me and him kiss and stuff. But whenever i mention another guys ...
A. 30 December 2007: I think you should just take it slow and let your relationship happen naturally. The minute you try to rush things it can get caotic.
If you let things happen as they will you can better tell if you are compatible with him and you will either grow... (read in full...)
Did he mean it when he told me he loves me?
Q. My boyfriend [17] and I [16] have been dating for 3 months. Last night, on a double date, he told me he loved me. I'm almost certain he meant it, but I worry that he was just doing it so I'd kiss him (I wouldn't as we were near the other couple). ...
A. 30 December 2007: He may indeed love you. Just give him the chance to prove it. Doc... (read in full...)
He moved away and has a new girlfriend - will he really dump her for me?
Q. I used to date this guy before he moved away. I see him when he comes to visit and i really like him. The problem is he has a girlfriend where he lives now but he says he loves me and will dump her for me. I'm not sure whether to trust him or not as ...
A. 30 December 2007: Sounds to me like he will dump whoever he wants just to get what he wants.
Do you really think he won't do it again to you? Doc... (read in full...)
We are dealing with the loss of my father and my brother has just decided to spend the holidays with his affair. I feel like I have been mortally wounded for the second time this year. How will I be able to forgive my brother?
Q. My Dad died two months ago. I flew home for his funeral at the beginning of a trip for our 25th Wedding Anniversary. My brother took forever to get home for his funeral, I was home before he was - and I came home from Europe. My brother is ...
A. 30 December 2007: Even if he was at full mental capacity it would be completely possible for him to exibit this behavior.
When the human mind is put under such stresses as his, it is not unlikely that his brain's circuit breakers have started blowing.
Diffe... (read in full...)
Vaginal piercings!
Q. i'm 14 and this is weird but i was having a conversation with a close guy friend of mine about piercings and i have had my belly button, nose, tongue and nipple pierced but what i want to get pierced is my clit he says if i did that it would be ...
A. 26 December 2007: Personally I don't know what you see in all those holes in your body.
However, I have done a bit of research online and the article I found should give you a little better idea of what you need to be aware of as well as danger signs to watch for.... (read in full...)
Erotic humiliation...
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a dominant female and my boyfriend is very submissive and because of this our relationship works well. I like to dress him up in my underwear and tease him and he quite clearly enjoys this. In fact he enjoys cross dressing co...
A. 26 December 2007: When I was trained as a police officer about 25 years ago one of the first things we were tought is that if it is rude it is probably against the law. They were right. Any time we saw something we thought was rude we could always find a penal code ... (read in full...)
Should I continue talking to customers outside of work, or will that be considered inappropriate for business purposes?
Q. I keep attracting older guys, like in their 30's, I'm 17. I work at a family business and get noticed by a few older guys a couple times a month. Sometimes they give me their myspace, phone number, or just...call up the store and have a little ...
A. 26 December 2007: In a case like this where it concerns not only you but the family business I would take it to your parents and talk over the situation.
It may not be the intention of these guys to be anything but honorable but I doubt it in every case.
It wi... (read in full...)
I love him but.......He is 25 and I am 16.
Q. Well I was just going by life (like always). But then I went over to my friends house and her aunt's wife had her best friend down from a different town. And well we just always had a connection with one another. But then I didn't come over for a ...
A. 26 December 2007: Tread lightly here.
You may have no problem if your state is a state where the age of consent is 16.
If, however, it is at age 18 he could be arrested and charged with statuatory rape.
The only other thing you will have to deal with is the age d... (read in full...)
I am in love with my step niece. What should I do?
Q. My step niece and I are very close in a relationship and we are so crazy about each other! I don't know what to do because the families will disown us if they find out. I've never been so happy in my life! Please tell me what I can do it would ...
A. 26 December 2007: There are as many laws on this subject as there are states, countries, provinces, territories etc.
The best thing for you to do is contact an attorney to see what the local laws are governing such relationships. In many cases you can make a simp... (read in full...)
What are the chances I am pregant this time around??
Q. hello, I'm am one of the many TTC. i think i have narrowed my fertile dates down to 13th-16th with 16th being ovulation day...all of these are according to internet sites. To increase my chances i had sex every one of those days. What do you thin...
A. 25 December 2007: Your chances could be pretty good in my opinion.
The best method to time things out the best from what I have seen is to get what is called a basal thermometer.
These thermometers are sensitive enough to tell you if you are actually ovulatin... (read in full...)
Was he shocked to hear I love him and how can you tell from kissing he wants sex??
Q. Ok, I'm 14 and my bf is 16 andI gave him his Christmas present 2 days ago, which was a stuffed animal that he absolutly loved. I also wrote him a note about how great the past 2 months have been, which is how long we've been together. I don't kn...
A. 25 December 2007: Hon, you really don't want to get mixed up in s-e-x at your age.
You only have your childhood for a few years but you can always look forward to sex.
Too many times I have advised girls and guys to wait.
In most cases they tell me later that t... (read in full...)
My ex took my virginity and would like to have sex again but now he has a gf.
Q. When me and my ex were together 6 months ago we had sex for the first time. Since then we hardly talk execpt on the phone. He says he loves me and wants to have sex again. I don't whether to or not? I don't want him to think i'm a whore and i no...
A. 25 December 2007: This is one of the problems that comes up when you decide at too young an age to have sex.
Sure, it feels good and all but with that comes responsiblilty.
Someone your age is not ready emotionally, mentally, physically or financially to have chi... (read in full...)
How can we show them it is for real and how can I find out if all he wants is sex??
Q. Ok I'm 14 and he's 14 we have been together a lil over 3 months, we met through my ex and he and my ex are really good friend but while i was with my ex he asked me out and at first i didnt know what to do but in the end i broke up with my ex to go ...
A. 25 December 2007: The best way he can show you he really loves you is to stay away from sex until you and he are old enough to be responsible parents.
All it takes is one accident and you will both be parents with no way to care for a baby physically, emot... (read in full...)
I'm in public school. A boy flirts with me showing vulgarity and indecent language. What to do?
Q. I really need help. I'm only 13 and I'm still in public school. This guy's been kind of bugging and flirting with me. one time he talked so dirty i was like '' help '' lol he was like '' i want your n*pples '' and he put out his two fingers and ...
A. 15 December 2007: I don't know what Canadian law says about this sort of thing but I will bet if you tell him off in front of others he will run off with his tail between his legs.
IF not, you need to go right to someone in authority at your school.
If you do one o... (read in full...)
Should I give it some time or what?
Q. my girlfriend is having thoughts about breaking up with me. she says that her heart is telling her to but she trying not to listen to her heart. and i don't know if I should just end it or what. cuz i don't know what to do and i don't want to make ...
A. 15 December 2007: A relationship should be an even deal.
If there is something missing on one side or the other then things have a tendency to fall apart.
This is why lots of marriages fall apart. The problem is that the couples don't realize this until after th... (read in full...)
I don't want him to meet my family - should I break it off?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 1 and a half years. We are in love but recently he moved to another country for work but then told me that he wants to meet my family and wants to make things work. I know I love him but the thought of taking him ...
A. 15 December 2007: This relationship doesn't seem to be evenly matched. You should be elated to be with him and proud to introduce him to everyone you know or something is amiss.
If you have doubts about any portion of this relationship it is time to find someone else... (read in full...)
Our age difference is hurting him and people are calling him "paedo"... should I break this off?
Q. Heyz! i am a 13 year old girl.. dating a.. 18 year old guy. i know there is a big age difference. My problem is that our age difference is hurting him. everyone has been calling him a pedophile, telling him he will go to jail. He fakes a smile ev...
A. 15 December 2007: The problem is not the age difference. It is simply because of your age.
People immediately think that you and he are carrying on a sexual relationship and of course think the worse about him.
My brother was in the same situation with his girlfrie... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband to open up to me sexually?
Q. How do I get my husband to open up to me sexually, I have asked him to tell me what turns him on, all he says is "shut up" I have worn stockings and suspenders and not told him, let him discover it for himself when he felt my legs, then all he said ...
A. 15 December 2007: There could be any number of reasons for this.
One possible reason could be that he is still wrapped up with porn. I will supply a couple of links to websites that should give you some eye opening information as well as some constructive advi... (read in full...)
Should I leave him alone or try to make it work?
Q. There is a guy that i like. He likes me to i know because he told me several times. He likes to play fight and always wants to see me he flirts with me alot too. But he is unfaithful that is what he told me, when i went out of town. But now that i ...
A. 15 December 2007: He is unfaithful and you need to get advice on what to do?
Do you think for one minute that he will not cheat on you again if another opportunity arises?
I would drop this guy like a hot potato. Doc... (read in full...)
My expectations are too high because I look at porn and beauty magazines. How to abandon the idea of "perfect woman" ?
Q. Im addicted with the perfect woman! I look at porn on the net and in mags, and all these women are made to look better that they actually are, so wen i go looking for a girl, i guess my expectations are too high. Im not the most attractive looking ...
A. 14 December 2007: First of all you should give up the porn.
Easier said than done, I know. But the problems associated with it are not worth it.
Especially with sex in front of us at every turn, in television, movies, commercials and all other advertis... (read in full...)
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