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... Send *r. John a private message | | | *r. John's profile:I am a husband of 28 years with a 28 year old son and a 24 year old daughter. (And a pretty one at that.)
I live about 35 miles south of Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA.
Currently a mechanical engineer in a division of the company that makes Peterbuilt and Kenworth trucks and winches, but have recently earned my Phd. in Psychology.
Now all I have to do is pay off my tuition and I will have my diploma in my hot little hand.
I have lots of life experience as well and the desire to help all whom I can.
I am also have interests in physics, chemistry, genetics, astronomy and other areas of science. |
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So, girls--is anal sex pleasurable for the female? Is there a lot of pain?
Q. So, um, girls...is anal sex any fun? I am considering having anal sex with my boyfriend sometime in future, depending on whether or not he can get me drunk enough to do it. I'd like to know if the female experiences any pleasure - I've heard tha...
A. 18 February 2007: Ok, so I don't know how it feels first hand but from a doctor's point of view I just had to jump in here. The easiest way to give you the best amount of information on the subject is to have you check out the two websites I have supplied here.
T... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my cousin, should I tell her?
Q. hello agony aunts i have had a crush for my cousin for more than 2 years now and they are not going away, my problem now is that i have been dreaming about her and she is also going around my head 24/7, is this normal, as i have asked once but g...
A. 18 February 2007: I know exactly how you feel and it is not an easy thing to have to deal with.
We did everything together from the time she was three and I was four, till the time we got separated in our mid teens. Every chance we got to see each other we jump... (read in full...)
I lose it when I put on a condom...
Q. how can i keep an erection when wearing a condom because any other time it is fine?...
A. 18 February 2007: Sorry, something strange happened when I submitted my answer and it submitted more than once. Doc.... (read in full...)
I lose it when I put on a condom...
Q. how can i keep an erection when wearing a condom because any other time it is fine?...
A. 18 February 2007: This may sound old fashioned but at your age you should really not be in need of condoms, but that is my view.
In reality the problem is quite common.
Quoting from new scientist: "The nervous excitement of sex with a new partner, paired with ill... (read in full...)
I lose it when I put on a condom...
Q. how can i keep an erection when wearing a condom because any other time it is fine?...
A. 18 February 2007: This may sound old fashioned but at your age you should really not be in need of condoms, but that is my view.
In reality the problem is quite common.
Quoting from new scientist: "The nervous excitement of sex with a new partner, paired with ill... (read in full...)
I lose it when I put on a condom...
Q. how can i keep an erection when wearing a condom because any other time it is fine?...
A. 18 February 2007: This may sound old fashioned but at your age you should really not be in need of condoms, but that is my view.
In reality the problem is quite common.
Quoting from new scientist: "The nervous excitement of sex with a new partner, paired with ill... (read in full...)
I lose it when I put on a condom...
Q. how can i keep an erection when wearing a condom because any other time it is fine?...
A. 18 February 2007: This may sound old fashioned but at your age you should really not be in need of condoms, but that is my view.
In reality the problem is quite common.
Quoting from new scientist: "The nervous excitement of sex with a new partner, paired with ill... (read in full...)
For some reason I seem to still be a virgin. Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I'm 23 years old, soon to be 24. I have just finished university. I don't think Im THAT bad looking, but for some reason I seem to still be a virgin. I know that I"m supposed to wait for the right person and all this, but I fear that there is no ...
A. 18 February 2007: There is nothing at all wrong with keeping your virginity until you are married.
I tend to think your partents may have tried to instill proper morals within you and you may subconciously trying to keep those morals. In that case you may not be tryi... (read in full...)
I'm married and this man made advances to me in my job, I went weak... what am I going to do?
Q. i have been with my husband for seven years and another man has never crossed my mind, since i started working at this new job, a married man who is older than me and also friends with my husband has made advances at me, at first i just thought it ...
A. 17 February 2007: In my opinion you already know what to do.
I think you are just looking for someone to tell you it is alright.
You need to run away from this situation as fast and far as possible.
And as far as your relationship with your husband, there could ... (read in full...)
We haven't kissed and it's been 4 months! How can I speed up the process?
Q. ok so me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 4 months but we still havent kissed yet is there a problem? can u give me hints on how to make it go faster?...
A. 16 February 2007: Sweetheart, I think you have found yourself a gentleman.
He is waiting for the right moment because he does not want to pressure you and scare you off.
At least that was the case with me when I was your age. I lost a couple of girl friends because ... (read in full...)
I'm bullied at school and everyone hates me! What can I do?
Q. Everyone In my Year Hates Me. I only have one friend and everyone else picks on me in lessons and Kicks me and hits me and says its an accident. I told my teachers but they dont Do anything. I dont want to move schools because I dont want to leave ...
A. 16 February 2007: Bullying is a very wide spread problem and not only in your age group.
I could go through lines and lines of explanation but I have found a website that should be able to explore the various aspects such as reasons, cures etc.
Hope it helps. D... (read in full...)
Is it weird to love a celebrity?
Q. Is it weird to love a celebrity more than normal? Do I like that celebrity or is just fan love?...
A. 16 February 2007: At your age it is probably just a crush that will eventually pass.
Enjoy it while it is there though. I remember some crushes I had where I thought my heart would burst out from my chest. It didn't and they did pass.
But I do have fond memories... (read in full...)
I'm losing interest in sex! Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I’m not bothered about wanting sex anymore is something wrong with me? I’m a guy who’s 24 years old and I’m really not bothered about wanting sex anymore. The truth is I’ve never actually had it, I’m still a virgin, I’m abstaining from sex till ma...
A. 16 February 2007: Not at all. With your resolve to abstain from sex until marriage (which I applaud by the way) and your age, meaning that your hormones have quite possibly subsided some making you feel this way.
I also would not worry too much about finding some... (read in full...)
Is this true love?
Q. hey guys I have an important question. I love this guy named Josh Thompson we have been boyfriend and girlfriend since 7th grade now we are in 8th grade and we are still togther he says he loves me and i love him is this true love? i'll take any ...
A. 16 February 2007: Sweetheart,
you never know. But I wouldn't hold my breath. You may get along for some time but I would bet you will eventually break it off with him for an interest in someone else. That may be hard for you to believe at this point but at your age ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes me to go on top but I feel I'm totally useless in this position... any suggestions?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and i have a really healthy, enjoyable sex life. However, my boyfriend likes me to go on top a lot - which i dont mind at all, I am however absolutely useless in this position! I have recently become sexually active for the f...
A. 16 February 2007: I am so sorry, I forgot to add in the link and didn't realize it till now. Here it is. Doc.
http://www.sex-techniques-and-positions.com/... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes me to go on top but I feel I'm totally useless in this position... any suggestions?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and i have a really healthy, enjoyable sex life. However, my boyfriend likes me to go on top a lot - which i dont mind at all, I am however absolutely useless in this position! I have recently become sexually active for the f...
A. 16 February 2007: In some cases it is simply a lack of foreplay which means that there could be a lack of lubrication. In that case it could be just a matter of using some type of personal lubricant. If you try this, however, do not use a petrolium based lubricant as ... (read in full...)
Is my penis normal?
Q. I am 12 and i asked a question a while a go about if it is normal for my penis to point up when i get an eriction but i guess i din'dnt state it clearly when i get an eriction it points up like if im sitting down it points up at the ceiling, is this ...
A. 15 February 2007: Sounds to me like you are quite normal.
Penises grow in all sorts of shapes and sizes as well as different angles.
It sounds as though yours is quite normal though.
If you had said you had some sort of exaggerated curve to the right or left or u... (read in full...)
I have really fallen for my friend but am scared to tell her in case it ruins our friendship. Any advice?
Q. i have fallen for a friend that i have known for ages. we grew up together and recently my feelings for her have grown to the point where i can't stop thinking about her. we are really close, even our families think we are seeing each other. i want ...
A. 15 February 2007: If you are that close with her then I think you can sit down with her and ask her what she thinks about the idea. She will not jump up and run out screaming. You are friends and have the possibility of becoming much more than just friends.
My wife... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend cheating?
Q. Hi My brother was telling me about his friend. I know who he is and have been at my brothers place while is there and ran into him etc etc..My brother tells me he is probably messing around on his g/f whom he has been dating for like 6 years and...
A. 15 February 2007: This may just be a minor episode. I see nothing to base an entire accusation on so I think in your place I would just sit this one out and watch for anything else that might come up as a red flag. If so then persue it further. If not, forget it. ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about masturbating and watching porn? Is there anything I can do?
Q. Hi, I’m a guy who’s 24 years old and still a virgin. I’m abstaining from sex till marriage but I have a problem I’m worried about. At a young age before I made the decision to abstain from sex till marriage I really got hooked on watching porn at a ...
A. 15 February 2007: I applaude you for your decision to remain morally chaste till marriage. That is an admirable quality in a man such as yourself.
First you need to break away from the porn problem because that is damaging in itself.
After that mountain is out of t... (read in full...)
Should I go out on my 2nd date with her? She received valentine gifts from other guys, maybe I'm not good enough for her?
Q. i really like this girl. we've dated once before a few weeks ago and next date is next week. we phone every few days. she told me she got lots of roses and teddies chocolates etc from boys. it kinda worries me coz she might like them. i dunno if she ...
A. 15 February 2007: Go on your date with her.
She does not belong to you but obviously she likes you enough to go on a date with you which very often is a prelude to better things.
Sure other guys have given her things but she is not going on a date with them. Th... (read in full...)
I have only been married for 7 months and feel trapped living with him and his family. My dream of owning my own home seems way down the line.
Q. Husband is Slowy Killing Me I got married to who I believe is my soul mate 7 months ago, and I'm having a lot of doubts about it although it is to late to turn back now. I moved half way across the world, gave up my family and luxury life s...
A. 15 February 2007: I know exactly how you are feeling.
We lived with my in-laws for a year and a half. I thought we would never get away from there but my wife and her mother ended up having a falling out. Two weeks later we moved.
You never know what tomorrow... (read in full...)
He left me twice for two other womanand keeps coming back! What do I say to him?
Q. Well, I know the answer to this seems obvious to everyone else, but I really need to hear it. i was with a man for 3 and 1/2 years, we broke up once for 6 months and he dated someone else, he also spent a ton of money on her snd took her to Mexico, ...
A. 14 February 2007: You need to drop this guy like a bad habit.
You are just his backup it sounds like to me.
As I have told many others, there are lots of men out there who will treat you like a queen, as all women should be treated. There is no excuse for anyone t... (read in full...)
My friend has moved away and I really have feelings for him, I told him in a letter and this is his reply. What do you think he means?
Q. Ok I told this guy that I have been with off and on for over two years what I felt. We had just decided to be friends because of his research traveling with school, but I told him that even though we couldnt be together, I loved him, and this is ...
A. 14 February 2007: It sounds to me like he wishes he had known before he left how you felt about him so that he could have perhaps made different choices.
I don't know all the circumstances but perhaps there is still the chance. Doc.... (read in full...)
My stage "husband" has a crush on me, what do I do?
Q. I do a lot of community theatre but my current show has thrown me for a loop. The thing is, my "stage husband" has a crush on me. He's a great guy and we have a lot in common...problem? He's 19 I'm 26...what do I do??...
A. 14 February 2007: Why is this a problem?
Do you or he have a problem with the age difference?
I spoke to a 23 year old lady once who had several children of various ages around her.
During the course of the conversation she told me they were all her grandchildre... (read in full...)
I boyfriend and I want to have intercourse so badly but he can't seem to penetrate me. Any ideas?
Q. Hi, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now, and we have been trying (and failing) to have full intercourse on an off for about 15 months now. At first he had problems with getting and maintaining an erection. Now the ...
A. 14 February 2007: This sounds like a condition called vaginismus. Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of the muscles surrounding the vagina that closes the vagina. This condition causes penetration to be difficult and painful, or even impossible.
It is a cond... (read in full...)
I need to know the answer to an age old question--Does size really matter??
Q. Does size matter? Im 17 years old and never had a girlfriend because everytime sombody asks me out im to shy about showing my penis if we ever got around to having sex, this is also the reason why i am too worried to ask anyone out. My penis...
A. 14 February 2007: Abraham Lincoln was once asked the question; "How long should a mans legs be?"
His answer; I would say about long enough to reach from his body to the ground.
The point being, each person is different and there is no too long or too short.
... (read in full...)
I get on great with this girl, she said I'd make a great boyfriend (she already has one) how do I play it?
Q. Searched through the site to find a similar situation but couldnt find one! Recently, I've met a girl and we are getting on unbelievably well. We have so much in common and have talked and talked for hours. We make each other smile, cheer each ...
A. 14 February 2007: I was in exactly this situation 27 years ago. If I had let it go I would be kicking myself now.
As it stands all I did was to be a perfect gentlman with her and show her what I had to offer as opposed to the guy she had been with for the past six ... (read in full...)
I'm only 12 but if he finds out I don't think he'll be interested. Should I lie to him about my age?
Q. Hello. Ok i am having trouble with this boy. I really like him but hes 3 years older than me hes 15 and im 12. Do i lie to him about my age?. I met him about 1 week ago. and we talk on msn and everything. We get on great. But im scared that if i ...
A. 14 February 2007: Sweetheart,
you are still young but that doesn't mean you are foolish.
You don't want to start out a relationship based on a lie.
Besides, you are still young and there is no reason whatsoever to push things too hard. There is plenty of time to h... (read in full...)
I'm 12 and my brother is SO much cooler than me and I'm jelous! How can I be more like him? I also need advice on girls. Thanks.
Q. Plz help. i'm not at all popular at school, btw i'm 12, and never had a female friend before. well, my brother, same age, is becoming mr. popular at school. he has had few friends like me our whole life untill a few weeks ago. we used to be alike in ...
A. 14 February 2007: You hit the nail on the head about everything.
You have many conflicting thoughts racing through your head right now.
That coupled with the fact that you say you are going through puberty tells me that you are on overload right now.
Your body... (read in full...)
Should I agree to my husband's threesome Idea? Even if I don't want to?!
Q. I've been married for over 10 years now. My husband has this fantasy about having a threesome. I am deadset against it. He says that it burns a whole in his heart and it is something he is going to do, but he wants to do it with me. Will this ...
A. 14 February 2007: Don't you do it.
In cases where this situation comes up all it has done is drive a wedge into the relationship.
He is having exactly that, a fantasy. But the moment that fantasy becomes a reality it will destroy your marriage.
I have seen it befo... (read in full...)
What's the average number of sexual partners for a 17 year old in the UK?
Q. im 17 and only slept with 1 person, all my mates have slept with about 5 by now lol whats the avergae for a 17 year old in the UK?...
A. 14 February 2007: In my opinion the average number of sexual partners for anywhere should only be one.
Of course I am from the old school of thought aparently.
In any case there is no reason a person cannot keep their virginity till after marriage. Doc.... (read in full...)
Out relationship feels like it's getting old... where from here?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and 2 months. but now i just feel that i don't love him anymore and its just getting old. he gets really upsetwhen i tell him this but i don't know what to do he doesnt drive yet and it just seems our ...
A. 14 February 2007: It sounds like the two of you are still quite young.
If this is the case you can expect this kind of thing.
Until you are mentally ready to make a full commitment to one another this sort of thing will go on.
It sounds like it is time to part the ... (read in full...)
I am 12 and I need to know...when should I kiss my gf?
Q. Im am 12 and i have a girlfreind but we have never kissed iv have kissed before but i dont think she has and every time i look at her i want to kiss her but im not sure if she wants to when should i kiss her ...
A. 13 February 2007: Different people bloom at different times.
For me it was very early, in the third grade.
In any case just let things happen naturally. The time will come when you know; this is it.
But don't think you need to hurry things along. You are still yo... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your feedback and ideas for DearCupid... !
Q. Hi I'm looking for your feedback and ideas for DearCupid. Either reply to this thread or send me a private mail :-) Got an idea for a new feature? Want to tell me what works well? What's not up to scratch? If you're in the UK hope you're n...
A. 13 February 2007: Hi Andrew,
I have been thinking about a live chat room.
Of course I don't know if that is even possible but is something to think about. Doc John.... (read in full...)
I want to meet my msn, online girl but I'm worried. Has anyone else gone through this?
Q. Hi, for the past year or so I hav been talking to a girl on msn, I met her in a chat room and "clicked" instantly. we're both 17 years old. Last nyt I asked her if she would like to meet up for the first time, but im worried that she might not be ...
A. 13 February 2007: There can't be too much that she will expect that you won't.
The key is to be yourself and of course be polite.
You have already made it through the toughest part and that is getting to know her.
Usually our biggest mistake is seeing someone firs... (read in full...)
We met online, we dated, had a great time but now she's ignoring me! What's going on here?
Q. met a woman online a month ago. She's in her early 40's and I'm 39. I was very attracted to her and when we met, I was even more attracted to her. We met to watch a game at a local bar and half way through, left and had an intimate dinner...
A. 13 February 2007: I wouldn't worry too much, after all how well do you know her personally?
She could very well be dealing with issues of her own that she does not yet feel comfortable enough to tell you about.
Give her some time to come around and don't put her ... (read in full...)
I think I am gay
Q. The thing is i haven't fancied any girls in ages and i used to be really into girls. i still wana have sex with girls but only ones i have had experiences with in the past bar a couple. Sometimes i think i am just bi but im not sure. When i see a ...
A. 13 February 2007: I wouldn't worry, it is natural to feel something when you see any nude human body. This certainly doesn't mean you are necessarily gay or bi.
The biggest struggle with this is that usually a person such as yourself may have this question come to m... (read in full...)
Fallen for my driving instuctor... But he's 30 and I'm a virgin!
Q. Hi During my time learning to drive i got on really well with my instructor. Since passing my test we have been texting flirty/dirty messages. i want to take things futher but he is only up for fun and i am a virgin. he make me feel so good and...
A. 13 February 2007: Just because you take a fancy to someone doesn't mean you need to jump right in the sack with them.
You should cherish your virginity.
I have heard both sides of the coin where those that have given up their virginity prematurely and those wh... (read in full...)
I got my cousin pregnant - we're both 17 and don't know what to do! Help!
Q. My cousin and i recently were both at a party. After the party she came back to my house to sleepover as both our parents were away for the night. As you can already guess one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together, the only problem ...
A. 13 February 2007: Tough decision to make.
If I were in your shoes, I would have to say bite the bullet and tell both your parents.
If your parents love you as I am sure they do they will probably go through the whole gambit of emotions and concerns.
I am pro life ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's checked his email yet or has he freaked out that I asked him to the prom?
Q. Ok, in my last question, I asked about a guy from camp. The problem with this situation is that the only contact I have with him now is over the email. I actually invited him to prom a few weeks ago over the email, cleverly(or so I thought) phrasing ...
A. 13 February 2007: If he is anything like me, :o
I have almost had e-mail accounts shut down because I have forgotten for too long to check them.
I would just send him another polite message saying that you thought that you were afraid your previous message may have... (read in full...)
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