A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 13 and I want to have sex.My girlfriend said no. I don't want to pressure her but i want it sooo bad.I really love her but i don't know if i should break up with her.please help me i don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): Everyone here is basically right, One if u Truly Really do in fact LOVE ur gf then why would u break up with her for Sex? I think the only thing you love is Sex go masturbate or something =) and no no PRESSURING just wait a long long awhile,id say,a few years? wait til ur both 16 at least gosh, Sex Drive at 13.. man i remember those days. Hey u know what u should do? Fantasize ur having Sex with ur girlfriend before u go to sleep and use that to sleep with. u might have a Wet dream during ur sleep. But it does work. Just Fantasize ur having deep hot Sex with her while ur sleeping. itll get u turned on and is a great alternative, masterbate if u wish. but really just go to sleep,Close ur eyes, put a pillow between ur legs and try to put ur body in a position where u can kiss the pillow,and pretend its ur Gf and imagine its her and use ur imagination. if u have the right frame of mind which i Suspect u do according to ur first Sentence. Then this should be a great alternative.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): She is too young. You have no idea what attachments you are about to have. At that age a girl could not control her emotions....You dont even want to imagine what would have if you broke up later on...And you would. That would be great getting a girl Pregnant at 13... You do realize that NO Contraceptive (birth control). Is 100% in fact alot of friends have gotten pregnant just by using a condom alone because they thought it would be safe...just wait till your legal at least....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): yeah dude i know how u feel ,me and my gf just make out thats like the craziest thing she has done and yeah talk to her about that sex thing
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): hey dude im 14 and my girl doesnt want have sex either y doesnt she want to have sex is it she says,IM TO YOUNG
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): If she won't give it up, dump her and find a hoe that will.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): naw man just forget it i have been going out with my girlfriend for 1 year and 5 months and yah i thought about it then asked her she said no as u guessed but i figured it out after a while it doesn't matter it will break yall up aferwords it doesn't any matter it really wasn't worth it i'm serious
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A
female
reader, JessIzFit  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 I wouldn't rush her or pressure her. I mean it isn't nice to keep being nagged 24-7 and if you love her you can wait
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Hey bbe, if u love her, u will respect her decision of sayin no. If all you mainly want most out of the relationship is sex, then bbe, u shouldnt be with her. If you want to break up with her do it, sooner than later, cos it is nasty to do it in the long run.. She isnt ready for sex.. end of.. hope i helped n take care bbe, mail me if u wanna talk x
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (4 September 2007):
 I'm not going to comment on whether you really do "love" her or not, bu I think it would be a very stupid thing to do to have sex now.
You don't appear to have taken in all the possible consequences of what you "soooo badly" want.
To be honest, with the comments/follow ups you've made between answers/opinions, you seem very childish.
E.g
"she said she thought i was just kidding.
So she said no, so i told her i wasnt and she said sure.
LOL"
Which part of the situation really caused you to "LOL"
Would you be "LOL"ing if you're girlfriend became pregnant with a child when she was still a child herself?
No, I doubt you would.
You seriously need to think about this.
&
"actually i do have a job :P"
You may well have a job.
But at 13 it is no way enough to support a child.
&I haven't even mentioned how much it could wreck both your lives and education.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): One of the biggest downfalls of being young is the inability to think 2 steps ahead -- kids are always thinking about what they want now, now, now!!
I want to take you a few years ahead.
Imagine you're 18 and all your mates are off travelling the world (e.g. working holiday in Australia or the UK), having the time of their lives. And there's you, stuck in your home country because the girl you had sex with at 13 or 14 years got pregnant (e.g. the condom broke) and now, at 18, you're the father of a 4 or 5 year old and you have no money, your friends don't hang around any more because they'd rather be out having fun, no prospects to travel for the foreseeable future, you're living in government housing because you can't really further your education & get good money because you have to work a dead-end job to just pay your way.
THAT is just one of the consequences of sex. The reason the law sets a minimum age is so that if the worst happens, you're at least somewhat able to handle it. At 13, you can't even look after yourself. Don't risk it - believe me, it's not worth it for a few seconds of pleasure every now and then!
I know all the hype nowadays goes on & on about sex & how it's healthy & wonderful to be doing it all over the place, but believe me -- the best time to have it is when you're in love with someone, when they love you & when you're both ready and able to handle it -- all of it, the good & the bad.
Honestly, for now, if you're really that sexually ready, just masturbate - use magazines or videos or your imagination or whatever, but keep it to yourself for as long as you can!!
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A
female
reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff +, writes (2 September 2007):
 if you love her then you can waitsex can be very emotional so you need to treat this girl with repsect, if you dont you could end up hurting her feelings and affecting her life alot more than you may ever be able to realiseplus you're only 13 so relax there is plenty of time
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 September 2007):
 No means No. Leave her alone, if that means breaking up then fine, she's better off. Use your hand, buddy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionactually i do have a job :P
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female
reader, nuttyp6 +, writes (2 September 2007):
hi please remember the facts here you are only 13 and you are breaking the law if you do this also please dont break up with her if you love her you wouldnt push her into it and would keep and respect her like you are x
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female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (2 September 2007):
 If you love her, you wouldnt think of dumping her for something like sex. Which is against the law at your age. Your girlfriend has the right mind to say no. You should wait, dont let something like sex get in the way of your relationship, you dont need it to make a good relationship. Obviously though at your age, you do get urges to experiment, but its not worth it. Think.Take care xxxxxx
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female
reader, x.Helpful.Cupid.x +, writes (2 September 2007):
 What are you thinking?Your 13. You're not in love with her.You probably dont know what love is.Your too young, dont push her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): dude! that is a great question! ok my friends and i where just talking about this! girls are way safer than guys we think adout sex to but wwe don't act apoun our feelings untill we are at least 15. if you really want sex you might have to break up with her and find a slut in your school to have sex with but if you really care about her and you can wait a little bit longer don't break up ith her. just give her a lttle time and maybe talk to her about it and find out y she doesn't want sex and compermize.
love,
alex 3
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe said she thought i was just kidding.
So she said no, so i told her i wasnt and she said sure.
LOL
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female
reader, pink_fairy22 +, writes (2 September 2007):
 Hey, dont split up with your gf for sex, its really not worth it, a relationship is not all about sex. If you care about sex more it shows you dont love her. Sex should only take place when both people in the relationship are 100% happy and know they won't regret it. Once your virginity's gone you can't get it back, so maybe you should wait till you're older and know your making the right decision :)
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male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (2 September 2007):
 I really think that you are far to young to even be contemplating having sex at the moment. If you like this girl as much as you say you do in your post you will wait till she is ready, and till you are both old enough too.
k
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): Break up with her, your both way too young and she doesn't need someone like you pressuring her for sex at 13yrs old!! Find someone who will, though that will be hard as not many nice kids that age have sex.
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (2 September 2007):
Well you have to decide what is more important to YOU. Is it the sex or your love for your gf?
If you feel that your strong desire for sex cannot wait, then you will probably put that before your gf and the love you have for her. If this is the case then yes break up with her because she has clearly stated she does not want sex at this point in time. However if you think you can live without sex and you really dont want to break up with her beause you enjoy being her bf, then thats something you are going to have to accept.
But it seems to me that, like most young boys your age, your need for sex is far more important to you then having a gf who you love. So perhaps you are best off for dumping her. Just tell her that you both have different wnats and needs (dont say its because she wont have sex with you) so this isnt going to work out.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (2 September 2007):
 Young man, you are too young to be worried about sex already.
True, you have the drive to have sex but that is only because your body is coursing with lots of hormones. This doesn't mean you are ready to take on all the responsibilities of sex.
Are you ready to support a baby and it's mother, not to mention yourself?
One mistake and that becomes a reality!
Are you mentally ready to take on the responsibility of making most of the decisions in a household?
What do you drive to work? Oh wait, you don't drive yet do you?
What's that, you don't have a job?
I don't mean to sound sarcastic here but these are just some of the things you MUST consider, not just finding a vagina to put your penis in.
Please, for your sake consider carefully what I am saying here. I have seen many lose their childhood just because they didn't listen to this very same advice. And they sorely regret it.
Be a kid while you can still be a kid. There is still lots of time for sex and it's responsibilities. Doc.
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A
male
reader, Escalaya +, writes (2 September 2007):
 Do NOT break up with a girl simply because she will not spread her legs for you. That is plain rude, and stupid. It also shows that love isn't really there, it does however show that you obviously do not LOVE her.
Stay with her, if you really love her, and she really loves you, she'll decide when the right time is, however, she obviously decided it's not now.
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