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... Send *r. John a private message | | | *r. John's profile:I am a husband of 28 years with a 28 year old son and a 24 year old daughter. (And a pretty one at that.)
I live about 35 miles south of Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA.
Currently a mechanical engineer in a division of the company that makes Peterbuilt and Kenworth trucks and winches, but have recently earned my Phd. in Psychology.
Now all I have to do is pay off my tuition and I will have my diploma in my hot little hand.
I have lots of life experience as well and the desire to help all whom I can.
I am also have interests in physics, chemistry, genetics, astronomy and other areas of science. |
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My expectations are too high because I look at porn and beauty magazines. How to abandon the idea of "perfect woman" ?
Q. Im addicted with the perfect woman! I look at porn on the net and in mags, and all these women are made to look better that they actually are, so wen i go looking for a girl, i guess my expectations are too high. Im not the most attractive looking ...
A. 14 December 2007: First of all you should give up the porn.
Easier said than done, I know. But the problems associated with it are not worth it.
Especially with sex in front of us at every turn, in television, movies, commercials and all other advertis... (read in full...)
I'm torn between two men!
Q. dear cupid im in love with two guys and need your help i've been dating this guy for a year, and our relationship is great, i am so in love with this guy and i can see it in his eyes that he feels the same about me, he so loving, carring, and ver...
A. 14 December 2007: Who would dare to venture into your mind and heart to try to answer that question?
This can be a very distressing situation, one that could cause you pain for many years to come should you decide later that you made the wrong decision.
I know of ... (read in full...)
He thinks I don't trust him.
Q. i recently asked amother question about my boyfriend being a rent boy , you see the thing is that ive been reading his texts and he now knows that i have and he thinks i dont trust him what do i do ???...
A. 9 December 2007: Give him back his privacy.
If he wants to have you read his texts then he will offer.
Tell him you trust him and show him by not reading any more of his messages.
At least he will see you are trying to trust him. Doc... (read in full...)
I caught him flirting online....but hes apologised and deleted his accounts...should I forgive him??
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for about year and a half. I recently caught him flrting with girls online, he said he was sorry and did not know why he did it, he said he was really stupid because he did not gain anything from it, and he ...
A. 9 December 2007: This could have been all in fun.
Unless he gives you any further reason to distrust him I cannot think of any reason not to forgive him and dismiss the incident.
If this was a continual problem that would be another problem entirely.
He is obv... (read in full...)
My nipples face in the opposite direction? Is this normal?
Q. My nipples face in opposite directions and im really worried that my boyfriend will think im wierd if he sees them. Is it normal, please help me!...
A. 9 December 2007: Everyone has body parts that are different from someone elses body parts. It is part of what makes us who we are.
How boring the world would be if everyone was exactly the same.
I would not worry a bit about this. It is just one thing that sets you... (read in full...)
All of a sudden I'm obsessed with my age, mortality and grey hairs. Is this normal for a guy my age?
Q. Do you think its possible to be having a midlife crisis at 34??? All of a sudden Im obsessed with my age, mortality and grey hairs... Is this normal for a guy my age?...
A. 9 December 2007: What is normal?
Normality is a realative condition.
What is normal for one may not be normal for another.
One who is unable to perform feats that they used to at a younger age may begin to feel that they are aging too quickly. They have a tende... (read in full...)
I found sexually explicit messages on my young brother's phone. Do I tell my parents, or talk to him firstly?
Q. I recently found some sexually explicit messages on my younger brothers phone not only from him by a number of girls some even younger than him. I am really worried about his emotional and physical state as he has been really agressive lately. Is ...
A. 9 December 2007: This I think should be brought to the attention of your parents. They should be better equipped to handle the situation.
As far as any agression he has been showing it is very possible that he is "acting out" because of this.
He may be experien... (read in full...)
I feel invisible and just don't know how to start talking to women! Advice?
Q. ok so here goes, im a 24 yr old male who since his last gf nearly 4 yrs has not been with a female and i suffer such low confidence that its a vicious circle of telling myself im not good enough and nobody will want me. I feel invisible and just ...
A. 9 December 2007: Yes, as a matter of fact I had the same trouble when I was your age. So I thought.
I had very little self confidence especially around women.
However, my brother was more than happy to point out that I always seemed to have a girl on each arm.
He... (read in full...)
Best friends but...will we ever fall in love?
Q. there is a guy whom i love like mad...he really cares for me..but he says love is too complicated for him...n says i'll b his best friend forever...do you think that he will fall in love with me some day......
A. 9 December 2007: Stranger things have happened.
My wife is my best friend.
Give it some time and just see where this goes.
Sure, it just may be that you will never be more than friends but you must always become a friend to someone before they know if they like yo... (read in full...)
My friend drives me crazy! She copies me!
Q. My friend is always telling me what shes doing and I really don't want to know. She is always acting very immature. Its Like I tell her something I want to do and then she goes and does it. Like for instance I said I was redoing my room, well she ...
A. 9 December 2007: Have you stopped and taken an objective view of this situation?
It sounds to me like she is doing things to gain your approval.
As if she is wanting to prove that she can be just like you.
Why not try just sitting back and watch how she acts aro... (read in full...)
Does she need time/space or is it over for good? What do you think?
Q. Me and my ex have been together, on and off for over two years, but the last eight months we were solid, truly in love and best friends. This was both our first proper relationship. We both became unhappy that I might be moving soon and may have to ...
A. 9 December 2007: Each relationship is different. There are no hard and fast rules.
What works for one couple may not work for another.
If I were you I would prepare for the eventuality of separating from her for good.
However, there may still be hope.
Give ... (read in full...)
Could we be prosecuted?
Q. I have been involved in a loving sexual relationship with my sister's eldest son for close on ten years now. We became intimately involved when he was seventeen years old, and I thirty-one. We have a beautiful nine-year old daughter together. Our re...
A. 1 December 2007: Before going off the deep end here and falling apart at what anyone says here, consult with someone who knows the law where you live, preferably a lawyer.
There are as many laws concerning these things as there are governments.
Because of the vari... (read in full...)
No period...a negative urine test...but what will be the result of my blood test? Thoughts?
Q. Hello again! I previously wrote in saying i had pregnancy symptoms and they all went away. My period is due nov 21 - dec 1st...so far NOTHING! I went to the dr wed still negative by urine. Thursday i took a blood test..and the nurse is suppose...
A. 1 December 2007: A urine test is usually pretty accurate and is seldom wrong.
It is, however, not impossible for it to be wrong so there is still the chance that you could be pregnant.
Be aware however that I have heard of cases where women have not had their pe... (read in full...)
When I am naked he doesn't get an erection...is this normal?
Q. What does it mean when you can be entirely naked in the shower, with your boyfriend talking to you (sat on the toilet) and he doesn't get an erection... Any ideas? Does it mean he doesn't find you arousing? Does it mean he could be gay? Does it ...
A. 1 December 2007: What is normal?
There are as many physialogical responses to different situations as there are people on earth.
What may be normal for one person may be completely abnormal for another.
Different ways people are raised in most cases will govern ... (read in full...)
Why did she lash out at me when I've been good to her? Was I blind and foolish??
Q. Hi there. I first used this site back in late April when I'd just started seeing a girl I work with. Since then, I've been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions and now I hope I've finally reached the end. So please bear with me. Thanks. I promise...
A. 1 December 2007: Consider an injured animal. Even if you try to help it they will often try to bite you simply because they are frightened and don't know why they hurt. They just lash out because it is an instinctive reaction of self preservation.
It sounds like... (read in full...)
The kids at school tease me about my virginity and sex...Whatcan I do?
Q. Dear Cupid the year 9s at my school keep on asking whether i'm a virgin or not. I reply I am and they start laughing. I've never even kissed a boy or had a proper relationship before; and I don't particurlly want to get teased about it... a...
A. 1 December 2007: Hon, by all means treasure your virginity.
Believe me, your virginity is something to be proud of.
Others that have already given up their virginity before marriage are usually dealing with feelings of guilt and are quick to tease and chide ot... (read in full...)
He has problems ejaculating! Is it me?
Q. mmm... wenever i masturbate my boyfriend.. give him oral.. or we have sex with me on top.. he gets no pleasure out of it + tells me to stop.. :/ its been like this since the 1st time and wev been together nearly a year. he has always had probl...
A. 1 December 2007: I would not worry that it is you. I don't think it is but could be a problem solely with him.
There is a problem called Delayed or retarded ejaculation.
Some men have difficulty ejaculating or cannot ejaculate. Delayed or retarded ejaculat... (read in full...)
How can I get my bf to clean his place??
Q. okay, been with my boyfriend for a year. we have had a few lulls in the relationship recently. just as things were looking up, i went over to his house to spend the night but the state of his house (hygiene, smell etc) made me feel ill and i didnt ...
A. 1 December 2007: Ok, I consulted my daughter on this subject because she has personally been dealing with this with her boyfriend.
He and my nephew have an apartment together. You can definitely tell who's bathroom and bedroom belong to whom.
My daughter says the... (read in full...)
Why cant I stop having sex with this married guy, I don't even like??
Q. I am having a affair with a married man at work. I see him at least once a week when he comes into work in the AM, which is when we have sex, before I go home to my boyfriend of 15 years, who I really do love. The man I am having the affair with ...
A. 1 December 2007: I am afraid I must question your sense of morals here.
Not to mention the position in which you have put yourself.
You must ask yourself what you are getting out of either relationship.
You are having an affair with a married man that you don't li... (read in full...)
Can pre-cum get you pregant??
Q. I want to really know.. can you get pregant by pre cum? ...
A. 24 November 2007: Pre-cum or pre-ejaculatory fluid to call it by it's correct name is a clear fluid that appears on the tip of the penis when a man has an erection and is sufficiently sexually excited. It is a common misconception that this fluid is semen that has ... (read in full...)
She suspects she's pregnant but missed an appointment to find out. Can I get a test for her elsewhere?
Q. Ok, well i slept with a friend a few weeks ago, and she told me she was late for her period. She told me she was going to go to the doctors today to have a pregnancy test but failed to get an appointment, only one being in another weeks time. Im not ...
A. 24 November 2007: You should have no problem picking one up at any pharmaceutical outlet or grocery store.
Most are quite accurate these days and are inexpensive as a rule. They are quite easy to use as well and will give you the results usually in a few seco... (read in full...)
His sexy talk makes me feel cheap
Q. my boyfreind talks dirty to me whenever i give him a blow job and its making me feel cheap. i dont mind it sometimes in bed, it can be hot, but he does it nonstop when im giving him oral sex. he says stuff like do you love my big co*k, and suck me ...
A. 24 November 2007: Some are turned on by dirty bedroom talk.
However, some do not.
When one likes it and the other does not, then it may cause problems such as in your case.
What you need to do is to talk to him about it.
Being a guy and having been one for man... (read in full...)
Am I ready?
Q. i'm 15 and there's a guy i really love. we have talked about having sex lots of times but i don't know i'm ready or not. can you help me?...
A. 24 November 2007: Sex is not something you just start into just because you THINK you are ready. There are many things to consider.
First, are you ready to have a child at your age?
Regardless of what you do about birth control there is always the possibli... (read in full...)
My best friend and I admitted having feelings for each other. Now things are awkward between us, how can I make things more relaxed?
Q. Complicated sitution, me and one of my best friends have recently admitted how we feel about each other. It wasn't done in the best of ways she was upset, i've been going through a tough time and i was just glad to be home to be with her again after ...
A. 24 November 2007: You are already over the hard part.
You have already told each other how you feel.
Now, just be there for her. When she has a problem, just be there to listen. Don't try to fix it for her but be there to just listen.
Tenderly hold her hand and... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I tried the 69 position and I think I had an orgasm but I'm not sure, could it just have been light-headedness?
Q. Hey, I have been sleeping with my boyfriend for about 4-5 months. We were in a fantastic 69 position the other day and, I think I had my first orgasm. Though I can't really remember it, it felt special and unlike anything I've experienced before. ...
A. 24 November 2007: This sounds like you reached some type of climax as there are two types.
One is a vaginal climax and the other being a clitoral climax.
For a better explanation of the femal orgasm I have done some research online and found a link to a site tha... (read in full...)
I want to tell her I love her, if she rejects me should I show her how badly it affects me?
Q. hi. I need some help on how to tell a girl i love her. I've liked her for a year now. I thought i would stay friends but we're good friends but i love her too much. I've asked her a cinema few times but somethin always come up. Happened twice. Dunno ...
A. 24 November 2007: Don't give up before you start the race.
If you worry that she will reject you then you could psycologically set yourself up to fail.
Go in with the thought that she will accept you with open arms. Then you won't experience what is known as a sel... (read in full...)
Are guys put off by a woman having had emotional problems in the past?
Q. As a guy, when you are dating a woman would you be put off if she had 'emotional baggage' or some kind of traumatic past? Even if she's had therapy and gotten past it and moved on, would it freak you out if she asked you if the two of you can take ...
A. 24 November 2007: If someone really cares for you it should not put him off in the least.
It would be rather insensitive of him to show you some attention, then not give you some room to handle past problems.
No, don't you worry about it. I think if he is any kind... (read in full...)
It takes a long time, am I at fault.
Q. my guy and I just got together a few months ago he took care of his mother all his life and turned to porn for relief, I had a terrible loveless marriage which i got out of i love my guy very much but it seems he can only cum with porn and takes a ...
A. 18 November 2007: No, there is nothing wrong with you for sure.
I have seen this many times before.
It seems that when a man turns down porn street the problem grows in that it seems to take more and more to get them to satisfaction. If the porn addiction (which i... (read in full...)
How to last longer
Q. Hi My wife and i would like to know if anyone has found a way to allow you to last longer before cumming. we have a good sex life and i have normally take 1 -2 mins. we do forplay etc and that can be a long time but when we have the sex part i c...
A. 18 November 2007: There are products on the market here in the states such as an ointment called "Prolong" which is applied topically to the penis causing a slight de-sensitizing.
There are other products commercially available over the counter which are used as topi... (read in full...)
The perfect guy still can't find a date
Q. I'm a smart, funny, attractive, modest, and friendly person. I love to be around people and make them happy. I never lose my temper, and respect other people's wishes. Why is it that (at 20 years old) I have still never been in a serious relation...
A. 18 November 2007: Don't sell yourself short.
What may be happening here is that they are waiting to see if you are going to carry the ball farther.
When I was your age I didn't think of myself any more attractive than the average guy and I thought I was terribly... (read in full...)
I'm planning on going to live with him.
Q. I'm in a long distant relationship and I'm finding it very very hard to trust him we have been together for 8 months it'll be 9 this month on the 23rd and I really have no reason not to trust him I mean yeah he's lied to me a few times but they were ...
A. 18 November 2007: You haven't even met him and yet he has lied to you and has had 18 girls before you?!
You had better take a step back and look at this situation objectively.
Look at this kind of relationship from the shoes of someone else and tell yourself... (read in full...)
I want my first kiss with my ex.
Q. ok..i still like my ex but i like another guy too. The other guy is a lot more mature but hes a little older than me. My ex is only one year older and i really want him back. But i want them both?! Who do I choose..I also really wanted my first kiss ...
A. 18 November 2007: How can you be asleep and awake at the same time?
How can it be dark and light at the same time?
How can you have hot and cold at the same time?
Do you really think you can have this guy and that guy at the same time without any consequences... (read in full...)
How do I start approaching girls??
Q. am 20 and i feel that i need a gilrfriend but i dont know when and how to start.please advice....
A. 17 November 2007: Sometimes easier said than done.
However, for the basics ask her if she would like to go out for coffee or a coke or even a light lunch.
Automatically presume you will pay unless she says she will pay for hers.
This will put her at ease. From t... (read in full...)
He sent a girl a suggestive text message, now his phone caller id is off, he's gotta be cheating right?
Q. Please help. The other night my boyfriend went out for a work night. I had a missed call from him and a msg bout 3ish. Then the next night when he rang me his caller id was off. Why was his caller id off?? Im thinking that he was ringing another ...
A. 17 November 2007: If you are sure he is playing games, I think it is time to move on.
On the other hand if you are not positive about this maybe you ought to sit back and see if other incriminating evidence shows up.
Sometimes things are not always as they seem.
H... (read in full...)
How can I love him if I kissed another boy??
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half but yesterday i got drunk at a party and kissed another boy. I told him straight away then left the party and went straight home. My boyfriend came round , i told him exactly what happened and he h...
A. 11 November 2007: Drinking is probably at the root of the problem.
Alcohol will remove some of your inhibitions and has often been the cause of many various problems.
Although this is probably the problem it does not give you an excuse. If you are sincerly sorry fo... (read in full...)
He has a bad temper. We've been together for 5 yrs but I don't want to put up with a man who shouts and moans...
Q. Hi there, I've been with my partner for nearly five years now and I do love him but he is ruining our relationship with his temper. He is never violent but he flies off the handle at the slightest thing and its reached the point where I'm walk...
A. 11 November 2007: A guy like this can change if he wants to.
I was engaged to a girl until she saw my temper fly one time. She immediately broke it off.
Before I married my wife I warned her of my bad temper and told her just to stay out of the way if it flies an... (read in full...)
My first time and I can't keep it up. What's wrong?
Q. I have recently encountered an embarrassing problem. Last night, I lost my virginity. I was ready, so I don't regret my decision at all. Thing is, I had a REALLY hard time maintaining an erection. Honestly, I don't know how we managed it since I was ...
A. 11 November 2007: There could be many reasons for the problem. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. It is not uncommon for these things to happen in a new relationship.
Over time I have spoken with many who have had this happen.
It usually comes do... (read in full...)
Should I try to love him
Q. i have a freind that har a very long time! i don't know how to deal with it! i don't wanna hurt him! should i just try to love him like he does?? please help!...
A. 11 November 2007: No good relationship will come together if it is forced.
Just be yourself with him and if it happens it happens.
It not it would not have worked anyway. Doc... (read in full...)
Worries about masterbation.
Q. I masturbated in the shower, i took care to only cum in the corner directly into the drainhole. No visible cum got onto my fingers and i rinsed them lots afterwards. I even rinsed the bar soap (which i did not use to masturbate) about 3 times and ...
A. 11 November 2007: Sperm can only survive for any apreciable amount of time under ideal circumstances. In most cases though sperm will live outside the body for only minutes.
In soapy conditions, where ph conditions are not balanced, where seaman is dry etc. sper... (read in full...)
I blossomed before most of my friends, is that normal
Q. I 'blossomed' before most of my friends. Is that normal? I play alot of sports, and run almost everyday, could that hvae something to do with it? Please help I feel like some kind of freak....
A. 11 November 2007: No it does not make you abnormal.
If you didn't blossom at your age you would not be you.
In other words, you blossomed at your age because it was the right time for you.
If you just look around you will find others doing the same kinds of gro... (read in full...)
Teacher facys me what should I do?
Q. Hi, my maths teacher fancys me, what should i do to stop him liking me or to make sure nothing at all he trys to do. Also i don't like him, i'm not the person who would start liking a teacher. Plz help if you can. Any help would be great. Thaks to ...
A. 11 November 2007: Just keep this in mind. If your teacher tries anything you let him know that you will not keep quiet about it.
And don't let any threats worry you. If he does threaten you then you go straight to the office and report it.
I am sure though t... (read in full...)
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