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Is it true the longer you wait to have sex the harder it gets ??

Tagged as: Friends, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey I am 16 and I am still a virgin I feel worried that I will never find anyone to have sex with because all my friends have boyfriends and are having sex and saying how good it is. I am afraid that the longer I wait the harder it will get. Is it true the longer you wait the harder it gets ??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007):

I'm 18 and still a virgin, I'm not ashamed of that and I feel sorry for people who lose it when their 15 and below. Don't worry about it as there's loads of people like you out there!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for your advice you have made be feel alot better about my self and that I shouldn't be pressured into having sex and I should wait for someone who really cares about me and what I want thanks :D

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007):

Hey, I just wanted to say that I am a 19 year old guy. I haven't lost my virginity yet. I haven't even had a girlfriend. I am proud of the fact that I haven't experienced intimacy on such a deep level with someone. I know that when I actually do have sex with the girl of my dreams. I won't have any other girl to compare her to and when I tell her that I love her more than anyone or anything. It will actuallly mean so much to ME because I really will love her more than anyone else because of the experience we shared. I could only hope that there is a girl out there who is willing to wait and when it does happen could honestly say that they have never loved anyone more than they love me.

Even though you can get hurt emotionally and there are other risks that are involved when you have sex with multiple partners. I think that the bond that is created between two people who have never had sex with another person is definitely worth it. Honestly, what could be more romantic than letting the person you love know that you waited your whole life to share that once in a lifetime moment with that person.

But whenever you decide to lose your virginity it should never be forced. You should never let a boy pressure or guilt you into having sex. Its your decision and yours only.

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A male reader, Dr. John United States +, writes (1 September 2007):

Dr. John agony auntSweetheart,

You are still young and there is plenty of time for you to have sex and regardless of what anyone has said or told you it won't get harder.

In fact, I have spoken with many who have had sex when very young and those who have waited till they got married and let me tell you, by far you definitly need to wait.

Oh sure, you will have people tell you that you are missing out on this or that but in most cases they resent the fact that they didn't wait. As my daughter says, "Guys are guys and they will never let it be hard for a girl to give up her virginity."

She is twenty two years old and very very proud of her virginity. She says she is very proud to be able to go to the doctor where he will invariably ask, "Are you sexually active?" To which she proudly answers, "Nope, I'm still virgin!" They find that hard to believe.

Even I myself didn't lose my virginity to anyone other than my wife. For a guy that is supposedly a disgrace. However, let me tell you, I am proud of that as well.

Please believe me when I tell you, you don't need the heartache that comes with having early sexual relationships.

Also, you really will find that you will not get the satisfaction out of relationships like that, that you will having sex with someone you are married to.

There are many many reasons you don't want to have illicit sex especially at such a young age. I haven't even scratched the surface here.

May things go well for you in any case. Doc.

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A female reader, bemused Canada +, writes (1 September 2007):

bemused agony auntHi hun

Hold on here my dear. Something does not seem right here. Be sure that you have a lot of hankies on hand so when your friends have had their hearts broken you will be there for them. You are so young still. Obviously your peer group thinks it is cool to have sex but sex at your age..more often than not comes with a price tag. I know of what I speak because I work with your age group and gals of your age come to me all the time...heartbroken and wondering what happened to that guy who was so attentive and is no longer around. I know it is not easy but protect your emotional health here. There is nothing that says you have to get physical fast. The thing is you need to respect yourself and that may be you may not be moving with the pack hun. It can be lonely to stand your ground but my advice is to get out and have fun and wait a bit. YOU will be the winner in the end.

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A male reader, quarky United Kingdom +, writes (1 September 2007):

quarky agony auntIt took me until age 21! No, it's not harder, what is difficult is knowing that your friends are doing it and you're not. It will happen some day- and it's worth waiting for if it's someone you REALLY care for.

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A male reader, Escalaya United States +, writes (1 September 2007):

Escalaya agony auntNo. In fact, the longer you wait the easier it gets. Not only on you physically, but mentally and emotionally also. Sex is a very emotional (and obviously physical) activity.

Either way, it's best to wait for someone you're sure you'll love, and for when you feel you're ready for it.

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