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*r. John agony aunt

*r. John

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*r. John's profile:

I am a husband of 28 years with a 28 year old son and a 24 year old daughter. (And a pretty one at that.)

I live about 35 miles south of Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA.

Currently a mechanical engineer in a division of the company that makes Peterbuilt and Kenworth trucks and winches, but have recently earned my Phd. in Psychology.

Now all I have to do is pay off my tuition and I will have my diploma in my hot little hand.

I have lots of life experience as well and the desire to help all whom I can.

I am also have interests in physics, chemistry, genetics, astronomy and other areas of science.

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I hate my dad. Please help!

Q.   hey i really need some help and advice.. im 13 years old and i apsalutly h8 my dad!! my mum is desabled and for instance my mum fell out of her wheel chair when i was younger.. and my dad was drunk on the sofa. so my mum had to crawl her way t...

A.   14 September 2008: I'm sorry, I forgot to add the link for you. Here it is. http://www.heros.org.uk/home_sub.asp?page=1... (read in full...)

I hate my dad. Please help!

Q.   hey i really need some help and advice.. im 13 years old and i apsalutly h8 my dad!! my mum is desabled and for instance my mum fell out of her wheel chair when i was younger.. and my dad was drunk on the sofa. so my mum had to crawl her way t...

A.   14 September 2008: Don't hate your dad but hate what he has become. He is suffering from a disease which is among the toughest to cure, alcoholism. There could be many reasons your dad started drinking in the first place. You don't give any indication of what has ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with someone older, what should I do?

Q.   im in love with a person 15yrs older than me what do i do?...

A.   14 September 2008: There is nothing wrong with an age difference of 15. That is of course unless you consider your age at this point in time. You may be looking for a father figure instead of a boyfriend. I know a couple who are very happily married and have been fo... (read in full...)

How can I be sure my crossdressing fiancee isn't gay?

Q.   hi, i am a 39 year old mother of 2 kids... i met a wonderful man about a year ago.. he has been honest from the begening with me about his crossdressing, and i thought i could except it i really try, but recentally i have been having suspesions..... ...

A.   28 July 2008: Much speculation has centered on why some people crossdress. No one knows for sure. While some cite hormonal or genetic factors, others favor environmental factors. It appears that for many the clothing serves as a “lens” to facilitate focusing ... (read in full...)

Should I have sex with him?

Q.   Hey guys im kinda freaking out cuz i want to have sex with this guy, im 13 and im still a virgin but really love him and he's so sexy lol, so GUYS should i give hima blowjob first? )give me advice to give a nice blowjob lol) and wat do guys like in ...

A.   28 July 2008: I found an article you should seriously consider. The following is the link. Doc http://www.massgeneral.org/children/adolescenthealth/articles/aa_virginity.aspx... (read in full...)

Should I have sex with him?

Q.   Hey guys im kinda freaking out cuz i want to have sex with this guy, im 13 and im still a virgin but really love him and he's so sexy lol, so GUYS should i give hima blowjob first? )give me advice to give a nice blowjob lol) and wat do guys like in ...

A.   28 July 2008: At your age everyone who is capable of sex is too old for you. You still have years of your childhood ahead of you. Are you willing to throw it all away for something you will always be able to look forward to? I hope not. Your childhood is... (read in full...)

I need help....I can't stop cheating on my boyfriend and he thinks he's the only one I've had sex with!

Q.   OMG!... I need help ASAP!... I can't believe im such a "b" !!! =(... I have a bf... im 23 he is 28... we have almost 4 years dating... I met him here in this country where I live now 5 years ago. Last year I got a phone call from a good friend fr...

A.   20 July 2008: I think you already know the answer to this. You are just wanting someone to give you an easy way out. The problem is, there is no easy way out of this. If you are so madly in love with this other guy, you are going to hurt the guy you are with... (read in full...)

Is there such a condition as "Love Addiction"?

Q.   I am curious about a condition that is described in psychology as "love addiction". It is an actual condition in which people with the condition form very strong feelings on the people they are attracted to, and generally have an impossible time ...

A.   20 July 2008: Love Addiction consists of three components: Romance, Relationship and Sexual Addiction. Love addiction is often perceived to be "less serious" than other process addictions i.e. compulsive sexual addictions, eating disorders or self-harm / muti... (read in full...)

Who wants to marry someone when you can't trust what they say?

Q.   I have posted several times before about my relationship but just when I thought the mass confusion was over..... Basically we have been together for 7 years and have a 4 1/2 month old son together. He can't hold a job so we all live with my par...

A.   20 July 2008: Has he ever given you reason not to trust him before, that you are aware of? He may be pressuring you to set a date but you should certainly make it known under no uncertain terms that he had better always be honest with you or this could beco... (read in full...)

My new boss changed my life for the better, we are friends. Should I confess my feelings?

Q.   My life was way bad for most of the last 15+ years of my life.9 months ago I got a new Boss 15 years my senior.And she made a huge change in my life,for the better.I was finally happy.she paid so much attention to me I felt great.Now she has ...

A.   20 July 2008: I am a firm believer in open communications. Perhaps she would not be opposed to going with you to have coffee so the both of you can talk. During that time simply ask her how she feels about relationships between employees in the work place. ... (read in full...)

Relationship fights while drinking: What is normal?

Q.   ;ust wondering when you are in a relationship and fighting, what is normal and what is not? Especially if drinking? ...

A.   20 July 2008: First, let's get something straight. Fighting is not normal in any circumstance drunk or not. If there is fighting then there is definitly a defect of some sort in this relationship. It also means there is some abuse going on here and needs to... (read in full...)

Is my friend still a virgin if she masturbated with her boyfriend?

Q.   ok I have a question. My friend said her and her boyfriend masturbated in front of each other at the same time. I say she's not a virgin anymore but she says she still is ... whats your take on this ???...

A.   20 July 2008: The general concensus on this matter is that if a female has not been penetrated by a penis then she is still a virgin. However, this depends on which moral code you follow. For example, one such definition says that if there is any kind of manip... (read in full...)

Is it really possible to have an anal orgasm?

Q.   recently I have been exploring my butt and and had been liking it. I was wondering of anyone had any good ways to get max pleasure, and is it really possibleto have an anal orgasim....

A.   20 July 2008: This can be pleasurable for either a male or a female. However you must be careful because depending on how it is done it could be dangerous to you. I found a link for you that should answer your questions better than I can within the scope of... (read in full...)

How do I know if a guy just wants me for my body?

Q.   how do I know when my guy just wants me because of my body. He always stares at me with his eyes below the neckline.I have always caught him doing it too.how do I know?...

A.   20 July 2008: Don't give it to him. It won't take long and he will give up unless he likes you for who you are in which case he won't be quick to flutter off. Doc... (read in full...)

What are the odds of my girlfriend being pregnant?

Q.   So here is my dilema. My girlfriend and I had sex last night and I came inside her. One hour after, she started her period. What's the odds of her getting pregnant? We have sex on a very consistant basis atleast once a day no more than 5 times a ...

A.   13 July 2008: First of all, you need to know a little bit about the menstrual cycle. I'm sure you know that a woman gets her period once a month. About two weeks after her period starts, the woman ovulates--that means she releases an egg. The egg then travels ... (read in full...)

Would he love me more if I was in a porn film?

Q.   If your boyfriend watches Internet porn should you film an internet porn film of yourself? My boyfriend watches porn, even though he thinks I don't know it. He goes on the internet, and he consistently lies about going on the porn sites, even thou...

A.   13 July 2008: His habit of watching porn is not about you. It is an addiction. It is a scary thing to think that the more porn one watches the more callused they become to it, the more hard core it becomes to satisfy. Research has shown that pornography ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my cousin touching me inappropriately...what should I do?

Q.   I'm 14, almost 15. I'm very close to my cousins, and I often go to their house and spend the night. I usually stay in the same room with 2 of them cause theirs not enough space. In the beginning of this year, one cousin thats my age started touching ...

A.   13 July 2008: Unfortunately this is one of those bulls you are going to have to take by the horns. You need to confront him about it and tell him you know what he has been doing and it must stop NOW! He is molesting you and he has no right to do that. Y... (read in full...)

How pathetic am I?

Q.   I've been friends with this girl for a year now and after falling in love with her, she didn't want to hurt my feelings because she knew how I felt. So she wouldn't go out with anyone for a while as she just wanted to be friends with me, which I put ...

A.   13 July 2008: Don't feel bad, this is just one of the many facets of life. Some may feel that they have had realativly few problems in life but most do. In many cases they feel like they will never survive the situation. But they do. You are still young and yo... (read in full...)

This may be stupid...but...what is a multiple orgasm?

Q.   what is a multipul orgasm? :S my boyfriend always talks about it and i dont know what it is, i feel kinda stupid....

A.   4 July 2008: Technically, multiple orgasms occur in succession, without complete loss of sexual arousal in between. Women are blessed with the ability to have multiple orgasms. Not many are aware that men with proper training, can actually do the same. In the ... (read in full...)

Can anyone tell me a good website where I can get videos on how to have sex?

Q.   Can anyone tell me a good website where i can get videos on how to have sex?...

A.   30 June 2008: You have probably already heard all the reasons you should not venture into the world of sex at your age so I will not bother you with that. However, do yourself a favor and spend a few minutes and go to the first link and honestly answer the ques... (read in full...)

Does anyone think that I should remove her as a friend from the social networking website?

Q.   Hi, I broke up almost an year ago but I'm still having some trouble getting over it. My ex has moved on and has made it clear that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. We're both members of a social networking website and since I have her as a ...

A.   30 June 2008: You make it more difficult for yourself if you are continually reminded of her. Yes, by all means remove her and get rid of everything that reminds you of her. That may be a difficult thing to do but it will pay off in the long run. Doc... (read in full...)

I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but my dad doesn't approve.

Q.   im 15 years old and i have a b/f that is 23 years old. i love him with all my heart. we've only been dating for 4 months and already i love him and wanna spend the rest of my life with him, but my dad dont approve. a lot of people think its weird bu...

A.   30 June 2008: If this guy is so great then he should not mind waiting awhile before trying to carry on a full blown relationship with you. You are at an age where your feelings for someone can change rapidly and you won't understand why. I understand that you... (read in full...)

My dad would touch me while I was sleeping as a child, I only started remembering this last year. Please help me.

Q.   Hi. I am 30 years old with 3 beautiful children. I have had horrible relationships in the past, abusive, and now I am a single mother. My dad is an alcoholic, and as a child he was very touchy feely with me all the time. I hated it but didn't ...

A.   30 June 2008: It sounds like you probably were molested. It is very important to your mental well being that you do get counceling. I know you said you don't have much money but here in the states, every state that I know of has a system in place where it will ... (read in full...)

Am I pregnant or just sick?

Q.   Im 16 years old, and i don't know if im pregnet or not. Today is the 23 and i have my period sometime between the 1st and the 15th. Its been almost 2 weeks, and im having stomach pains,i feel like im always hot, i feel sick, and my chest has gotten ...

A.   23 June 2008: You don't say whether or not you have had sex prior to the onset of these symptoms, I am presuming you have. First, there could be a number of reasons for what you are feeling. Your periods are regulated by your horemones and they can be offset b... (read in full...)

Do I like him because he reminds me of someone famous?

Q.   Its this guy i know who looks like chris brown and when i hear his songs i think about the guy that ive known 11months now and i wanna be with him but i cant because he likes intercourse and im a virgin.my question is am i falling 4 him becuz of ...

A.   23 June 2008: I think it is quite possible that you have an interest in him because he looks like your crush. If you plan on keeping your virginity for awhile I would recommend steering clear of this guy or at least learn what and who the guy really is befo... (read in full...)

Will he dump me for her even though he says he loves me?

Q.   hey Ive been with my bf for over 3 months now but i allways feel he deserves better. Im nothing but a nightmare. And when he told me he fancies this girl i know, its made me feel so awkward because i know shes alot more worthwhile than me. I just f...

A.   23 June 2008: Hon, the best thing for you to do right now is to think of yourself as the best thing that has ever happened to him. You also want to pay particular attention to yourself and not let yourself go because of the way you are feeling. Keep putting ... (read in full...)

When trust is breached how do you get that back or should you?

Q.   I am in a relationship with a wonderful man but lately we have hit a bump and I can't seem to rebound from it and furthermore, I'm not sure if I should. We were at the stage where we were getting engaged, moving in together, etc... It should...

A.   19 June 2008: Trust is like stacking up blocks. As long as there is honesty on the part of the trusted person the blocks keep stacking up. However, with one lie or act of dishonesty the entire stack is knocked down and the stack must be started all over agai... (read in full...)

Please help us with our sexy problem...

Q.   My boyfriend and I, who have been together for a year in a long distance relationship, have not had full sex for 3 months. We had full sex for the first time 8 months into the relationship but it was extremely painful for me. I put this down to ...

A.   16 June 2008: Normally the vagina will strech enough to accomodate a fairly good size male. After all, what baby do you know that is as small as the largest penis? That having been said, I tend to think there may be something else going on here. There is a con... (read in full...)

Friends boyfriend climbed into bed with me, I told her, but she seems distant with me now...

Q.   Hi Guys, In need of some advice please. The other night i went to a friends party at her house, just a small get together with friends for drinks. anyway at the end of the night my best friend of 15 years and her mum had a full on physical fight, i...

A.   16 June 2008: Put yourself in her shoes. If you were she, wouldn't you want to know your feelings? Point out to her that you don't want to cause her any heartache or trouble but in view of the friendship the both of you have you felt she would want to know the ... (read in full...)

Even though I know all he wants is sex, I still feel there's a reason to talk to him and try and become closer to him!! Any advise?

Q.   Early last year I met an eighteen year-old boy. It was amazing. He was gorgeous, absolutely adorable and just the nicest person I had ever known. It was amazing. We really hit it off from the start, and I just loved every minute of it. We were never ...

A.   11 June 2008: First let me applaud you for your virginity. In this day and age it is a rare person indeed who saves their virginity for their marriage. You already know his motives for dating or being with the opposite sex. You said it yourself, all he wants is s... (read in full...)

What can I say to him during sex? He wants me to talk dirty!

Q.   I've been with this guy for 7 months my now and we are doing really well. He tought me all the sex stuff I needed to know. Now he would like me to speak dirty while we are having sex, which is kinda of embarassing since I have no clue about what to ...

A.   25 May 2008: This is something that is difficult to do for those not used to it. I did some research for you and found a couple of links that should give you a place to start. Doc http://se... (read in full...)

I want to kiss her but if she rejects me I'll die of embarassment!

Q.   I'm very close to my friend. She is very clever and we meet often to go out for meals as friends. She says she loves me as a friend. She always says she wishes she found someone like me in future she was marry straightaway!! I dont know what is ...

A.   25 May 2008: You may be making a mistake by holding back yourself. In the right moment, kiss her tenderly then watch her reaction. If she shows signs of withdrawing from you simply appologize and tell her you couldn't help yourself but that it won't happen agai... (read in full...)

I don't love my wife anymore, please help.

Q.   Dear all, I know my wife thru internet. I live in US and she is in other country. After almost one year chatting and went there to see her. We got married. Because of the situation, she can't live with me or come here to stay with me. So she stud...

A.   25 May 2008: I am not surprised you are feeling this way. You are isolated from your wife and you are unable to enjoy the company of your wife. How can there be any growth progress in this relationship? The only thing in my opinion that will save this marriag... (read in full...)

He has me on a 7 pm curfew! And he blames me for what he does to me! Am I doing the right thing planning to leave him?

Q.   I'm now 21 years old. I was barely 19 when I MOVED IN with my boyfriend. Things have gotten worse since I turned 21. He has me on a 7PM curfew! If I'm a few minutes late he doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night. Hes even locked me out for ...

A.   25 May 2008: This is an EMERGENCY! Don't you let this guy abuse you for another minute! This relationship can only go from bad to worse! Any time a guy causes you undue mental or physical anguish it is time to leave that situation. Don't wait for someone... (read in full...)

I think I'm starting to be a burden on him. Am I taking things too fast?

Q.   i am a 38 year old women. i met this guy close to 3 months ago, and we are somewhat still together. in the beginning we would talk on the phone from 11pm all the way until 3 or 4 oclock in the morning. we both work long hours so in a way it is hard ...

A.   25 May 2008: You may not be going too fast for you but you may be going a bit too fast for him. If he knows all this, he may be proceeding cautiously. I am always advizing good communication with one's significant other. It is not uncommon for someone to say; ... (read in full...)

Together 5 years and no sex in last two months. Help.

Q.   My friend and I have been together 5 years recently he and I haven't had sex in two months. I know he's a heavy drinker and I think he maybe using something eles could that be a problem. He says he isn't cheating and to please give him time to get ...

A.   12 May 2008: I would not be too concerned about it. It sounds to me like he is one of those who does not handle pain well. The excessive drinking and or the grief he is experiencing could be lowering his libido. It will probably pass. Just give him a little... (read in full...)

How do you break up with a guy when you're just not sure why you want to do it?

Q.   I really liked his guy and then when i started to date him I stopped he he done nothing wrong but I don't like him anymore and I have no clue why but I am going to break up with him cause I dont like him anymore how do I do it (break up with him) ...

A.   11 May 2008: The whole idea of dating and going with someone is to find out if the two of you are compatible. If you are not, then it is time to move on and find someone else. This is aparently the case with you. Just tell him you had high hopes for the two of y... (read in full...)

I feel really great about myself...except for my body. I'm so upset, how can I cope?

Q.   I'm glad to say I've been improving my self esteem. As a result, I'm less jealous of other girls, and less envious (baout their personalities, or how well they do in school, their talents, things like that). I feel better, as I know I'm worth a lot, ...

A.   11 May 2008: Hon, you are who you are. It is YOUR looks and height and weight and shoe size etc. etc. that defines you. People like you because of who you are. Look at how relationships actually start out. The guys and girls first worry about how they are dres... (read in full...)

She's acting a little differently than usual, and doesn't say I love you as much...Why is that?

Q.   Hello aunts and uncles you see i have a question.I have this amazing girl! (she's 17 i'm 18) she is always says i love you but not as she used to say it idk maybe it's just me but she would always say to that she will call me but she forgets ...

A.   11 May 2008: You may need to confront her about her feelings about you and what her intentions are at this point. I am sure you know that at your ages it is not uncommon for relationships to come and go. That is not to say you are that type of person, because ... (read in full...)

My stepdad is in jail for drugs and I don't want to lose the bond I have with him!

Q.   please help. my ex step dad and I are really close and he is like my friend, and now he had taken drugs and is now in jail. I am exterenly hurt, confused and angery. I don't know what I am going to do. please give me some advice on how to get ...

A.   26 April 2008: Think about what a verse in the bible says; "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Just don't lose contact with him. Visit him when you can. Talk to him and tell him what you have written here. I am sure if you have this kind of rela... (read in full...)

I'm nursing a burning, secret passion for a teacher. Should I write him a little note?

Q.   I am 16 years old and practically on the brink of taking my GCSEs (in fact, I've got my first oral on Monday). Problem is, for eight months I haven't been able to stop thinking about a teacher at school. I would estimate him to be in his late ...

A.   26 April 2008: You can let him know how you feel but if he is a stand up guy I think he will probably tell you that you should wait and find someone else because of your age. It is not uncommon for someone your age to have a crush which eventually passes. B... (read in full...)

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