A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my bf for 4 years and we haven't had sex yet. We both agreed from the start that we wanted a strong relationship first. Earlier in the year he asked me to marry him but it was like a...oh yeah by the way...type of proposal. Needless to say, I didn't take him serious. It took him 6 months to tell his family which hurt me pretty badly. I have noticed that in the past several months that it seems like his family is trying to come between us. I have been married before and had the inlaws from hell and don't want that again. He and his family are very close and I dont want to come between them but I don't want to be miserable either. His brother can guilt him into anything. We live about 2 hours apart and he has called me before, while I was on my way to his house, and cancelled plans with me to be with his brother.For all of these reasons and more I am afraid to have sex with my bf now because I am afraid that things will end badly and I will have yet another number or notch on my bedpost. Should I stop making excuses and just end things with him? or am I over reacting? I have told him that I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with him anymore after the way his family is acting. They recently did something horrible to him and it makes me wonder what they'd do to me? Not having sex is getting to be horrible for me. Should I cash in my chips and move on down the road?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): Thanks! I guess I just needed to hear someone else say what I was already thinking.
A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (8 September 2007):
 Well, if it were me you would have no doubt as to my intententions. It doesn't sound to me like he is very excited to be in your company. This tells me he just likes having you around for convenience sake. I definitely would not give it up to this guy.I understand what you are going through but I really think you need to find someone who wants you and is willing to show it. You will not even have to wonder if he is serious when you find him.I always tell people in your situation; "A woman should always be treated like a Queen. Out there somewhere is someone that will treat you that way. So go find your Prince Charming." Doc.
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