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... Send *r. John a private message | | | *r. John's profile:I am a husband of 28 years with a 28 year old son and a 24 year old daughter. (And a pretty one at that.)
I live about 35 miles south of Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA.
Currently a mechanical engineer in a division of the company that makes Peterbuilt and Kenworth trucks and winches, but have recently earned my Phd. in Psychology.
Now all I have to do is pay off my tuition and I will have my diploma in my hot little hand.
I have lots of life experience as well and the desire to help all whom I can.
I am also have interests in physics, chemistry, genetics, astronomy and other areas of science. |
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White stuff in sexual activities... help, is it normal?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend over a year and he's only the 2nd person I've slept with. We have a great sex life but my self confidence drops as sometimes when he fingers me there is white stuff on his fingers. It doesn't smell and it's not cum, ...
A. 23 February 2008: As long as there is no odor associated with the discharge there is no reason to indicate that this is anything more than a normal vaginal discharge.
This discharge is normally a bit acidic and serves to prevent infection and will carry dead cell... (read in full...)
What are the benefits of marriage?
Q. In the week when Paul McCartney and Heather Mills agree monetary settlement, the question of fairness and behaviour arises. What are the benefits of marriage, if any? Isn't it just an unfair contract where if one party breaks the terms, the other ...
A. 23 February 2008: A big problem with marriage in this day and age is that the parties entering into this contract have too much interest in what they can get out of a marriage instead of what they can put into it.
All too often people now look at marriage as an easi... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him before he leaves on Sunday?
Q. Alright so there's this guy (lol I know) I've known him since I was 4 years old literally. he is my neighbour. I look out my window and I can see his house. Last sunday my mom went to his house to ask for help with something and if he wanted to go ...
A. 23 February 2008: If he was doing this in the presence of other friends it very well could have been pranks to impress.
Peer pressure can cause people to do all sorts of things they would not normally do, even to those whom they may care about.
If I were you I wo... (read in full...)
I am in a relationship and I am thinking about oral sex with him what should I do?
Q. I am in a relationship and I am thinking about oral sex with him what should I do?...
A. 23 February 2008: What is it that is causing you to ask this question?
Is this a violation of your moral standards?
You are obviously old enough to make this decision on your own but you aparently must cross some line to go with it so you are the only one that can... (read in full...)
Friendship or love life?
Q. hiya!! lost soul here __ you see i really like this guy but cant confess i like him i've been by sorta his side since grade 6 he's been to my homeroom class grade 6,7,8 grade 6 is when i move from different country anyway im afraid to choose between ...
A. 23 February 2008: Sweetheart,
You need to sit down with him and talk to him about the situation.
Trust me, if you know each other that well he will want to know how you feel, and I am very sure he will understand where you are coming from.
Just put the shoe on ... (read in full...)
How do I politely deny their invitation to go on a date?
Q. I regularly work in the evenings at my parent's family business. Of course, I get customers who are in their 20's, 30's, all ages. I'm 18, and some of the men have giving me their numbers,or myspace..or shown some sign of interest, such a...
A. 23 February 2008: You can simply tell them that you routinely refuse customer's advances due to too many complicating factors.
Doc... (read in full...)
I find myself attracted to him, I would never act on anything though, I love my partner too much but what the hell is going on???
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and am deeply happy. However I used to be really good friends with his friend, I had a really close friendship with this persn as i knew him before I got with my b/f. I knew he liked me more tha...
A. 23 February 2008: It sounds to me like you are dealing the "What if" syndrome.
Is is much the same as if a guy sees a woman completely nude and leaves little to the imagination and does realatively little to excite him. However, leave on a slightly revealing negl... (read in full...)
Disagreement about virginity with my boyfriend
Q. My boyfriend and I seem to have a disagreement regarding virginity. Four years ago, when I was just a 15 year old, I gave a BJ to a friend of mine. He was always a friend, nothing but. Two years later, this friend introduced me to my now boyfriend...
A. 15 February 2008: There are many definitions for sex shown in the encyclopedia. I have provided the link so you can read it for yourself.
In my research for you I also found an article which is a bit more pointed from a moral and biblical point of view.
Pleas... (read in full...)
I'm all grandma has.
Q. I need help.I've known my g/f 2 years as friends.We've always told each other everything,even the bad stuff.I'd say we know each other well.We feel in love in November and spend tons of time on the phone.I know everyone will think it's stupid but we ...
A. 2 February 2008: This sounds somewhat like a father daughter relationship. The father dislikes the guy who wants to court his daughter. Low and behold it is because the father could enventually lose his daughter to this guy.
In most cases, though, it works out.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend on porn, tired and frustrated.
Q. Is it ok for my boyfriend to be on porn? as usual he promised he wouldnt do it. We have been together 3 yrs.... Porn has many categories. Regular porn is ok. He promised he wouldnt..and he did it again. I'm tired and frusterated......
A. 2 February 2008: Porn addiction is just that, an addiction. It is in many cases just as hard to break away from as an addiction to drugs or alcohol.
I could speak mountains of information on this subject but it is easier just to give you links to a couple of arti... (read in full...)
Therapist thinks he was molested.
Q. My sister was shocked after an 18 year relationship (12 yrs married)to find a hidden camera over the tub in their bathroom. We found it incredibly creepy for a husband to secretly watch his wife take a bath. Coincidentally, 2 days later my nephew ...
A. 2 February 2008: The sad fact is that in most cases it is not a stranger that is a molester but someone that is known by the family and often even a family member.
One question, is the therapist the boy is seeing a certified child psychologist?
They have methods ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I'm good in bed?
Q. How can I tell if I'm ok in bed? Can I simply tell by somethings that he does? Or should I just get the courage to ask him? Will he think it's weird if I randomly ask how I am in bed? ...
A. 2 February 2008: Sex is a learning experience.
Experiment and ask him what he likes. I am sure he will be more than willing to let you know.
I have heard it said that sex is a selfish experience and that you should take everything you can to get satisfac... (read in full...)
I am ready to have sex with him, but I am worried about my friends.
Q. first of all, let me apologize for this being so long... it is a LONG story ( and this is with leaving a lot of stuff out) me (age 15) and "MT" (age 17) both really like each other. we arent dating right now because he is under a lot of stress (d...
A. 2 February 2008: Sometimes people who care about you may try to pull you away from someone you may care about thinking they are doing you a favor. In some cases they are.
In this case you say you think you are ready for sex.
Are you all through being a kid?
Su... (read in full...)
Should I leave her for good?
Q. Okay...I posted on her about my girlfriend way back in November... Here's the recap: She kissed another guy and treated me like dirt for two weeks and nearly put an end to our two year relationship. I could have forgiven it but the other guy never ...
A. 2 February 2008: My take on this is that if you ever plan on having a serious relationship with her it could be difficult.
If things ever got serious enough where you end up marrying her you must consider how much a king size bed will be because it will get a litt... (read in full...)
Discovered noncommital boyfirend digs porno: is that why there is problems?
Q. For some reason, my boyfriend has always differed in only one sense regarding having a Christian relationship . . . sex. He is more liberated, claims it is beautiful between two people who love each other, yet believes marriage is not necessary. I ...
A. 2 February 2008: As long as we are speaking on religious terms, you are right to feel the way you do if you prefer to follow scriptural council. Acts Chapter 15 verse 20 is one location as well as verse 29 of the same chapter where we are admonished to avoid ... (read in full...)
I have a problem down there..will the doctor do the exam or will I go to a clinic?
Q. Just a quick question so i know what to expect... Im going to see my GP next week, i made the appointment because i think ive got a problem down there. What i want to know is, is he going to examine me or is this not part of his job? Will i...
A. 26 January 2008: He will ask you a few questions and first determine if it is something he can handle within his area of expertise. If he feels it is something beyond the scope of his practice, then he will refer you to a gynocologist. Doc... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to increase my chances of getting pregnant?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for the last 2 years and i still haven't concived. i came of the pill just over two years ago and although my periods have returned to normal its still difficult to get pregant. i had a misscarrige ...
A. 26 January 2008: I have recommended the use of a basal thermometer to many that have then had a high rate of success.
You can obtain one at most any pharmacy and they usually come with a chart and instructions.
They are more sensitive to subtle temperat... (read in full...)
Will I ever get another chance to be a mother?
Q. When I was 21 I had to make the most difficult decision of my life, to have an abortion. Myself and my partner have been trying for a baby for over a year. Because I haven't conceived yet, we are both blaming ourselves as he suspects he maybe ...
A. 19 January 2008: If nothing went wrong during the abortion then you should have no problem conceiving again.
The human body is so remarkable because you don't need to do anything to make your body ready to carry a life to full term.
However, you can prevent ... (read in full...)
My right breast is larger than my left - is this normal?
Q. I'm 17, and I've noticed that my right breast is bigger than my left one. Is this normal? It's not looads bigger, but quite a fair bit. I read a story in a magazine once about a girl needing surgery because one was significantly bigger, and now I'm ...
A. 19 January 2008: Humans, in common with most other vertebrates, show bilateral symmetry in paired morphological traits such as ear size, digit length and breast volume. Perfect symmetry may be disturbed by a number of intrinsic and extrinsic factors, including the ... (read in full...)
I cant forget that my boyfriend used a sex line. How do I cope ?
Q. Hi this time last year I had learnt that my boyfriend now my fiance had been making calls to sex lines. I was drinking a lot and he had just lost his Nan and we had a lot of money toubles. At the time I was cut up however after a lot of thought and ...
A. 19 January 2008: It should be a simple deduction.
It he was doing it longer than he said then you would probably have already caught him still doing it.
I have spoken to those who, once they break away from that sort of thing realize how foolish it is and stay awa... (read in full...)
I don't want sex but I want to do other things.
Q. Heya, I've been with my boyfriend about 3 months now, I'm 14 and in year 10 and he's 16 and left school. I really like him and he wants to have sex with me. I don't want to yet and I've told him, he's fine with it and said that he would ...
A. 5 January 2008: Hon,
At your age you should not even consider dabbling in sex of any kind.
I have spoken with many who were only wanting to do what you want to do' only to end up pregnant a short time later.
Some have even come back and told me that they wi... (read in full...)
My daughter just turned 15 and is having sex!
Q. dear cupid and everyone here, I have a daughter who has just reached 15 years old last month. She has just admitted to me that she and her boy friend have already had sex. I was terribly shocked and very very afraid and worried that maybe sh...
A. 5 January 2008: No do not give her alcohol, that will only compound the problem! And if she is pregnant it could ultimately harm the baby.
If she is already pregnant her period will not come for another nine months.
In that case you will need to prepare for the ... (read in full...)
I kissed my ex, and now I cant get him out of my head
Q. Hello:) im pretty new to this but here goes... and im 17 by the way... Me an this boy lets call him james, well we use to be together around exactly a year ago. Well when we broke up we ended on really bad terms, our relationship wasnt perfect,...
A. 5 January 2008: I think if you try to get back together with him you will just end up separating from him again.
There was obviously ample reason to separate before, what makes you think things have gotten any better? Doc... (read in full...)
Could you all tell me about your sex lives please?
Q. I'm just being nosy and curious, I suppose, but I just wanted to know about peoples sex lives. Of course, most people will make out that they have sex every night, they do this that and the other... But really...There must be some peop...
A. 5 January 2008: Due to different problems as well as unknown reasons my wife has lost most of her sex drive several years ago. I am fortunate to get it eight to 10 times a year.
Even less since the latter part of 2006 since she had her gallbladder taken out, a coup... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and dating a 24 year old divorcee...How do I tell my Mom?
Q. hi, I'm dating a guy who is 24 and I'm 17 we started out friends at are job burger king and after I quit we still talk on the phone and everything he was having problems with his marriage and I was just there to help him until one day he came over ...
A. 5 January 2008: Depending on the state you live in the age of consent is either 16 or 18. If it is 18 of course you could have a problem.
Aside from that you are starting on a road of distrust with your mother. You don't want to do that.
You need to sit down wit... (read in full...)
We love each other but my wife wants a divorce...help!!
Q. Hi I have not really been getting on with my wife for a few months whom I have been married for for the last 18 months but together for 9 years. We have always argued in our relationship as we are both quite strong willed. We have always loved each ...
A. 5 January 2008: In this day and age people are too ready to part the ways.
It seems that marriage vows have no real meaning anymore.
However, there is help from various places providing you know where to look.
I know of some articles that have helped many.
Perha... (read in full...)
It hurts when he enters me. Why?
Q. hi was wondering if anyone could help. when me and my bf have sex and he enters me i get like a sharp pain and ihave to suck my breath in. weve been having sex for over a yera so i cnt understnd whats wrong. we dont need any lubrication as im fine ...
A. 5 January 2008: This sounds to me to be a problem that can cause entry pain called vaginismus, where the vaginal muscles contract involuntarily, making penetration extremely painful or impossible.
As I am not a medical doctor I would really recommend you see one.... (read in full...)
He wiped my vagina with a wet tissue - any chance I could be pregnant?
Q. hello i need help!well a few months ago i met this boy that one of my mates brought to my house party an we liked each other an that!but the thing is he asked me to wank him off an i did an he cumd out whilst i was doing it but i got him a tissue to ...
A. 5 January 2008: You certainly don't have as high a risk of being pregnant as if you had full penetration intercourse.
However, there is definitely a risk.
It was irresponsible of him to do what he did and it was irresponsible of you to put yourself in this pos... (read in full...)
Why don't I feel relieved that we're no longer together?
Q. me and my boyfriend were together for a year and 4 months. He was my first boyfriend, and first everything. We broke up for good (I think), this morning. We had a lot in common. Music, hobbies, movies, interests, goals... well, he also claimed I w...
A. 5 January 2008: You are feeling some guilt over this I think because it seems that the breakup ended up being about you.
As far as getting over it, you will get over it.
Just as an injury may leave a gaping wound, it may take awhile to heal.
The main thing i... (read in full...)
Arousal problems since the break up with the ex, although I love my new boyfriend! What could be wrong?
Q. please help. i used to be really horny all the time and used to be able to feel really intense when being fingered or touched or something. im only 18 and since breaking up with my ex and getin with someone else iv nt been able to get horny at all. ...
A. 5 January 2008: This sounds like you are not mentally prepared for another relationship, at least on the level you want it at.
Sex and anything related to it is on a mostly mental level so if you are under a lot of stress or have a lot on your mind it can be diff... (read in full...)
I neglected my social life, taking care of my baby - now I feel as if the neighbourhood hates me, lonely and fat. Is it wrong to stay 8 hours online continuously?
Q. I am a stay at home mom with a 9 mo. old and I am due to have another baby in March..so I really can't work and even if I did work I would be making about what daycare costs anyways and my husband works all different hours so I can't go get a ...
A. 5 January 2008: It does sound to me like you are suffering from prenatal depression.
Postpartum depression does certainly get most of the attention and therefore most people do not know of prenatal depression although 13.4 percent of women who were 32 weeks preg... (read in full...)
At what stage in our relationship should we be more comfortable around each other?
Q. hi! well my bf and i went our on 3rd date coupld of days ago and it was still kind of awkward. we didnt talk much and it was kind of embarasing. i dont know if it should still be like this. please help thanks ellie xxx...
A. 4 January 2008: You may be trying too hard.
Don't be so strained but let things happen naturally.
Find a subject you have in common you can talk about together and you will start to feel more relaxed with him.
Just don't try to make things happen between you ... (read in full...)
How do we tell each other of our love? (neither of us will admit his feelings and I leave the country soon)
Q. ok, here's the deal... I like this boy and I know he likes me back. But I won't accept i have a crush on him and he won't either. What should i do?? I'm really desperate! Besides I'm leaving to Mexico in 2 days!!...
A. 4 January 2008: Two days is not much time.
You need to go for a walk with him or go to a coffee shop, somewhere where there is realatively little or no tension and talk to him about it.
If you don't you will always regret it.
Do it now. Doc... (read in full...)
Losing her Dad and her job and the absence of children suddenly made her feel unfulfilled, in need of a change. Where does the love go??
Q. 25 years ago I married my high school sweetheart and I thought we'd share the rest of our life together. Then four years ago, her father passed away, and she lost her job within about a month of each other. She found another job but I could tell...
A. 4 January 2008: It sounds like she thinks she will find fulfillment somewhere other than with you.
She could be grasping at straws if you have been doing all you can to keep her warm, so to speak.
She may soon wake up and realize that the grass isn't necessar... (read in full...)
Am I making a major issue out of nothing?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together since August 24th 2007. It hasnt been plain sailing, we have had our disagreemennts but all relationships do. Dont they ? Anyway back to the point... i was browsing through my boyfriends phone when i saw...
A. 4 January 2008: In my experience it would be better to make sure before making a mountain out of a mole hill.
If he hasn't given you a reason to distrust him then wait and see.
You could ask him to introduce you to her though and see what his reaction is. If he tr... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can get rid of the hurt?
Q. my bf and i only broke up a month ago and he already moved on and askin for some girl's fone number!! i couldnt believe this after everything we went through. I still cant seem to move on from him and still have strong feelings for him even though ...
A. 4 January 2008: Sweetheart,
Don't even think about ending everything.
You will find that things will settle down emotionally for you.
It is somewhat like a severe injury. It may leave a gaping wound at the start and sometimes you need to have the wound stitch... (read in full...)
How can I eliminate lust?
Q. How can i eliminate lust? I mean...i'm single, i always have been, And i understand i never have a chance with anyone ever. And talking to friends when i like someone just ends up with them building my hopes up...and you know - the bigger they com...
A. 4 January 2008: Things will naturally level out as your horemone levels settle.
You are under a torrent of horemones at your age and that can cause all sorts of trouble for you.
Another thing is that you are still realatively young. Lots of things will graduall... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and a porn addict
Q. I really need help. I'm a porn adict and i cant steam to stop watching it. I'm 13 and i was exposed to it as a young girl. My mom has been suspecting it but i really want to stop do you people have any suggestions?...
A. 2 January 2008: Yes I do. You do need to stop this now. It is dangerous.
I am supplying links to a couple of different websites.
They are articles which should help you. Please read them.
Doc
http://www.filterguide.com/harmful.htm
http://www.watchtower.org... (read in full...)
He wants me to move to Oz from the UK but I'm feeling hot and cold...
Q. I am in a total mess emotionally. My boyfriend is now living in another country and wants me there. He is getting very frustrated at how long it is taking me to make the move out to be with him but I am getting really cold feet and cannot for the ...
A. 2 January 2008: Hon, you are in a very difficult situation, I know.
The only thing anyone is going to be able to do for you is give you ideas and suggestions.
Here's mine.
If you love him as much as I love my wife you will go to be with him no matter where it is.... (read in full...)
I'm going through puberty but I can't ejaculate, why??
Q. I can't ejaculate yet im already growing pubes though And I'm 15 How much longer will it take do y'all think?...
A. 1 January 2008: You should have nothing to worry about.
In most cases a boy begins to ejaculate seaman at about age 13 or 14.
However, that is just an average. There are some who start earlier and others start later. You are aparently just one of those who will... (read in full...)
My Mom snoops when I'm on the internet, I find her lack of trust very irritating, how do I get her to stop?
Q. hi i am 14 and in year 10 and my mom keeps on being nosy about what i do on the internet.i am not doing anything bad or wrong all i do is go on msn and myspace maybe play on games. she clearly thinks i am up to somthing which is wrong she always a...
A. 1 January 2008: Hon, I know it is frustrating but later in life you will understand why this is a necessary part of life right now, especially for parents who care about their children.
The internet is a frightening place if you know how to check it.
I have log... (read in full...)
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