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... Send *r. John a private message | | | *r. John's profile:I am a husband of 28 years with a 28 year old son and a 24 year old daughter. (And a pretty one at that.)
I live about 35 miles south of Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA.
Currently a mechanical engineer in a division of the company that makes Peterbuilt and Kenworth trucks and winches, but have recently earned my Phd. in Psychology.
Now all I have to do is pay off my tuition and I will have my diploma in my hot little hand.
I have lots of life experience as well and the desire to help all whom I can.
I am also have interests in physics, chemistry, genetics, astronomy and other areas of science. |
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I'm nursing a burning, secret passion for a teacher. Should I write him a little note?
Q. I am 16 years old and practically on the brink of taking my GCSEs (in fact, I've got my first oral on Monday). Problem is, for eight months I haven't been able to stop thinking about a teacher at school. I would estimate him to be in his late ...
A. 26 April 2008: You can let him know how you feel but if he is a stand up guy I think he will probably tell you that you should wait and find someone else because of your age. It is not uncommon for someone your age to have a crush which eventually passes.
B... (read in full...)
This is the BEST and WORST situation EVER!!
Q. Ok, last year my dad met a woman...She is a really nice woman and I have no problem whatsoever with her. And they moved in with is. She has a daughter 1 year younger than me, and she is pretty much drop dead gorgeous. My dad and her mom are not ...
A. 26 April 2008: It sounds like you have developed a good relationship with her.
What if you were to ask her what she thinks of the idea of the two of you and go from there?
I lost someone in a similar situation about 30 years ago....I have never gotten complete... (read in full...)
Best friends with a married man so will he ever leave his wife? Is it because of money?
Q. I am a 37 yo woman with 3 children who has been married for 18 years and my marriage was over for months before I met this married man who said his marrieage ended a year before that too. We became best friends and helped each other through our ...
A. 19 April 2008: Sadly it does seem to me that the money has a large part to do with what he is doing. Doc... (read in full...)
Have I wasted 5 1/2 years with this guy?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 1/2 years and we've lived together for 90% of that time. He is 30 and I am 26. He has a full-time job and I have started my own business in the last year. I like change and he is the exact opposite. I ...
A. 19 April 2008: He sounds a bit insensitive.
You need to examine this one on your own.
Ask yourself these questions; Is this the kind of relationship you want to stay in?
Do you want to continue being treated this way?
Do you think things will improve in view ... (read in full...)
Can I become an Agony Aunt?
Q. Hey, I'm Chloe, i'm using dear cupid, because i used to love talking to agony aunts, and they always gave good advice when i didn't know who to ask. So i would like to become like that, and help others out from my experience, can i? Chloe x...
A. 12 April 2008: The very fact that you care enough to ask shows me that you would be a good aunt.
This is basically an opinion site so any questions you feel you know something about just jump in and answer.
I think you will be good at it. Doc... (read in full...)
What can I do about this troublesome long-distance family situation? Need ideas.
Q. Please help. This is not a question about a love or sex relationship but I really need some objective viewpoints on this one. I am a husband and father of 51 years. My wife is 50. We have a son, 26 out of the house and a daughter of 22 who still...
A. 12 April 2008: Thank you for your input in this situation.
Here is an update.
We tried to get my nephew but our situation is less than ideal so cps would not let us take him.
Cps took him from them but allowed my cousin to take him in a foster situation.
... (read in full...)
He disgusts me so much! All I see is an old pervert instead of the guy I fell in love with!
Q. I'm having some guy issues. I'm going out with a guy who I met online and I have been dating him for 4 1/2 years. It didn't occur to me that he would ever lie to me about his age. But it all started when my mom didnt believe me when I told her he ...
A. 12 April 2008: It sound to me like he saw you and did what he thought it would take to meet you and it went further.
What would your reaction have been if you knew his true age at the time you first met him?
I think he took such a fancy to you that he didn't w... (read in full...)
She's betrayed me several times, so how do I move on?
Q. ok my ex and I met each other and went out about 2 years ago october. it was a long distance relationship. she lvied about 100 miles away. we went out for about 4 months then we broke up. then shortly after got back together. and did that a couple ...
A. 12 April 2008: Your situation reminds me of the song by Brad Paisley called; "Letter to me".
At your age there will be lots of things that you will end up going through.
Ultimatly though, you will get through it.
In most of the cases you will need to make your... (read in full...)
Is getting intimate with a guy important? Does this make you close?
Q. is getting physically intimate with a guy important to get close to him?...
A. 12 April 2008: Each case is different depending on his morals, cultural background etc.
Some guys just never get emotionally intimate although many have no problem becoming sexually intimate.
Ideally a person, male or female, sould never feel that you must be ... (read in full...)
How can I make a man fall for me?
Q. how can i make a guy fall for me...how much attention is to be given and how much disinterest is to be shown....plz help...
A. 12 April 2008: Usually you can just talk to a guy. Let him see by your actions that you have an interest in him. In most cases if he has an interest in you he will take it from there. Doc... (read in full...)
Do you guys know any ways or tips on how to make myslef "cum"
Q. I know I young and your all gonna tell me I'm too young to be asking this question but I don't think I'm too young and would love it if someone would answer this question for me and give me some tips. I'm 15 almost 16 just to ket you know . I ca...
A. 6 April 2008: There could be many reasons you are experiencing difficulties in this area.
It could be caused by medications you may be taking such as antidepressants.
It could be caused by stress or anxeity or even health issues to name just a couple. ... (read in full...)
Working Couple with Child Emergency
Q. In 2006 towards the end of the year my partner, whilst we were both living together at University, became accidentally pregnant. At first I was overjoyed but she wanted an abortion. After time I persuaded her that we should keep the baby and in ...
A. 31 March 2008: I am sorry, I sent the comment before I realized I had not added the link. Doc
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20010108/article_04.htm... (read in full...)
Working Couple with Child Emergency
Q. In 2006 towards the end of the year my partner, whilst we were both living together at University, became accidentally pregnant. At first I was overjoyed but she wanted an abortion. After time I persuaded her that we should keep the baby and in ...
A. 31 March 2008: It does sound like you are in a bit of turmoil here.
I could speak volumes on this situation.
However, it is probably easier to give you a link to an article to read. There are also several articles to the left you can click on which should p... (read in full...)
My parents DON'T understand!
Q. I'm always crying at home and it's because my parents always say something to make me feel like I'm not good enough. I love talking to my friends on the computer, I must admit, I stay on the computer all day and my parents complain that I stay in ...
A. 31 March 2008: There may be several things going on here. You may be feeling smothered by your parents rules.
Then again they may not be taking the time to actulally take the time to listen to you.
Why don't you check out the link to an article I looked up for y... (read in full...)
Be honest please, I'm trippin', can she be pregnant?????
Q. Okay, say I came on my hands the night before and washed them, went to bed then at around 4 o'clock the next day started playing with a girl out side her pants! So without comtact can she get pregnant? Note that there was a small hole around the ...
A. 31 March 2008: Sperm outside of the body can live for around 20 minutes to an hour. The rule of thumb is to avoid contact with semen (or other bodily fluids) while they are still wet to avoid live sperm or bacteria. If the semen has dried, been wiped off, or ... (read in full...)
Can you be a virgin and have anal sex and get pregnant?
Q. ok here goes I'm a virgin and had anal sex for the first time, now I'm having pregnancy syptoms like stomach pain, back ache, dizzness and nauseousness and I wonder am I pregnant? help me...
A. 31 March 2008: I don't mean to alarm you here but if he happened to spill seaman on or near your vagina it is possible to get pregnant.
Of course it is a lot less likely than if he had penetrated you vaginally but the possibility is still there never the less... (read in full...)
Do you think she still has feelings for me or am I flying out there to get hurt?
Q. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years which ended last July. She lived in Europe and I lived in the states. I broke up with her because I was scared of moving to Spain. The strange thing is I had a ring and I was going to propose to ...
A. 31 March 2008: She may really be undecided because of being away from you for so long.
When you see her again just be yourself. She fell in love with the real you in the first place so don't try to be someone you are not. It would probably be a bad idea. Doc... (read in full...)
Our relationship is like a 'warzone' and I'm exhausted by it...any advice?
Q. Hi All, I am looking for some advice and guidance because i feel as though my relationship is like a 'warzone'. I have been with my bf for almost 5 yrs and during that time he went through a stressful divorce which has left him bitter (he d...
A. 27 March 2008: Aparently he doesn't feel that he has a problem.
The key to getting through this is for him to first admit that he has a problem, then he will agree that he needs help.
He needs to be able to see himself objectivly to be able to do a self examinat... (read in full...)
He forced me to do stuff, should I tell someone?
Q. im 15 years of age and lost a baby 2months ago, my best friend david asked me out n i accepted things wre going ok then he forced me to do things and he made me suck him off n toss him off n made me let him poke me and he ragged my trousers do...
A. 27 March 2008: You most certainly should tell someone!
If you did not consent to do those things then he forcibly molested you and he needs to answer for it or he will take advantage of others in the same way.
Don't you let him make you think that it was your... (read in full...)
Need to tell him I'm not sure if I want to sleep with him without hurting his feelings...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now, We've been on and off since I started at this school. Its been sorta Y'know. 'I cant come. I'm really sorry but I cant I'm extremely swamped' and it was true I know we had the same classes. [Thats ...
A. 27 March 2008: Just tell him you are not ready for that sort of thing yet and it may be some time before you are. Doc... (read in full...)
Sex for me is never enjoyable...
Q. Sex for me is never enjoyable, I am really tight and every time I have sex with a guy he is never able to get all the way in. I've tried relaxing and everything but still the guy can never get all the way in.. I've never had an orgasm niether.. what ...
A. 20 March 2008: This sounds to me like a condition called dyspareunia in medical terminology (pronounced “dis-pair-une-ee-ah”), and is more common than you might believe and is a curable condition.
I found a link to a website that should provide you with all the ... (read in full...)
I'm hoping there's something I can do to help clean myself up a bit and get the foreskin retracting properly again.
Q. Ok, I've got quite a problem... I tend to be a bit of a health and hygiene freak in general and that's the irony of this situation. Basically when I was younger I'd bathe all the time and everything was cool, but about 5 or 6 years ago we got...
A. 20 March 2008: Unfortunately when a mechanical problem comes up such as this I believe the only course of action here is circumcision.
However, I am not a medical doctor and that is who you should see in this case.
Phimosis is what this sounds to be and I have d... (read in full...)
I have an "inverted penis", why?
Q. hi, im 19, and im overweight, i have something called, an inverted penis, meaning... my penis stays inside me, i was wondering why this is? im also a little small, im about 5 and half inches... i was wondering if i was to lose my weight, it would...
A. 20 March 2008: I personally had not heard of this condition so I did some research for you.
You don't say whether or not you are circumcised but according to what I found in my research you most likely are.
If indeed you are it is kind of a double indemnit... (read in full...)
My boyfriend prefers masturbation/porn to sex???
Q. My boyfriend and I live together and have what others consider a perfect relationship. This is going to be a bit long winded, but I feel I need to start at the beginning so that it is all properly understood. When I first moved in, I quickly re...
A. 20 March 2008: The first thing you need to realize is that porn addiction is exactly that, an addiction. It can have just as strong a pull on someone as drugs, alcohol or smoking.
It can and often is a very difficult thing to break away from.
However, there ar... (read in full...)
Sex, the messy details
Q. I plan on staying a virgin until my wedding night and I hope to marry a virgin. I'm concerned about what our wedding night might be like. This might sound naive but just how messy is sex without a condom. Is there semen everywhere? What about ...
A. 20 March 2008: First let me applaud you for your decision to save yourself for your bride. You are one in a million.
In answer to your question, I am sure you know the amounts of seman you produce already depending on how long you may go between emissions. Of cour... (read in full...)
My husband has sex with me when I'm asleep....is it rape or "silent sex"?
Q. my husband had sex with me when I was drunk and asleep - I woke up as he pulled out and was climbing off me, cleaning himself up with tissues, I have confronted him and he says he thought I was awake - there is no way he thought I was awake as we ...
A. 17 March 2008: Here in the states there are varying laws about rape.
However, California and Washington State are what are known as landmark states and are usually used as the model states that other states follow as far as what laws to set and how to enforce them... (read in full...)
I am once again pregnant- going to have an abortion- can our relationship survive?
Q. Once again, I am really struggling. For those who have perhaps read my questions before, you will know that I am a very lucky girl in a loving relationship. But why don't i feel that way? My boyfriend is possibly one of the best things ...
A. 17 March 2008: I have supplied a link to a series of articles which should help. Please look them over. Doc
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20041008/article_01.htm... (read in full...)
My first love cheated on me and then dumped me... I'm so clueless!
Q. I really don't know what to do...My ex boyfriend cheated on me 3 times and then dumped me. He was the first guy I have been in love with and it has been 5 months since we broke up and I am still not over him and I constantly think about him, I ...
A. 17 March 2008: I don't think you should give up on guys altogether.
However, it may be a wiser thing to wait awhile before trying again.
You are at the age where you are in a torrent of horemones and emotions as are others around the same age.
The problem unfo... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned my about my boyfriend being a "cross-dresser"?
Q. My boyfriend told me before we got together that he was a cross dresser, it didn't concern me at the time, but after a year he's still not introduced me to his other personality and i'm scared that he's doing something behind my back. He's mentioned ...
A. 17 March 2008: I don't have much experience with cross dressers so I did some research and found a link to a webpage that will give you some insight from a cross dressers point of view.
I also found a link to another page that gives further explanation such as t... (read in full...)
He has a thing about trying to see my panties all the time!
Q. Whenever I'm alone at home with my boyfriend (whether his home or mine), he constantly tries to see my panties from under my skirt or by tugging down the side of my pants. When he just started doing it, it was fine, but he does it literally almost ...
A. 15 March 2008: This sounds like a harmless fetish.
I have talked with many different people with many different fetishes.
There are almost as many fetishes as there are people.
There are guys who like bras, guys who like pants, shorts, shoes, toes, feet, breast... (read in full...)
Is this relationship salvageable?
Q. Okay, so it's kind of a complex situation. My boyfriend (on and off) of more than 5 years and I have decided we want to get married. I have just recently finished college and am currently looking for a decent job. He has just decided he doesn...
A. 15 March 2008: It may be tough to salvage but if you love him as you say you do you can find a solution to the problem.
For one thing you need to lay down the law. Make him prove himself before you agree to anything.
Let him know that he must prove that he can s... (read in full...)
I don't treat my boyfriend well...do I need medical help??
Q. Me and my BF are totally in love with each other for the past 3 years. I'm the only child in my family; most of the time im selfish but my man is not like that (he has a sister) i always get what i want, 3 yrs ago i want him as my boyfriend and now ...
A. 8 March 2008: I do think you at least need to see a councilor or a psychologist.
A psychologist can do some diagnostics and possibly find out why you exibit this kind of behavior and perscribe a treatment.
A councilor can guide you through some things to help ... (read in full...)
Should I take a chance on the boy I like??
Q. I really like this lad in the year above me, we've known each other for ages and i can talk to him about almost anything. But i'm not sure whether he likes me too in that way, or just as a mate as i keep getting mixed signals from him. I don't know ...
A. 8 March 2008: If you don't tell him, you may both pass up the chance of a lifetime.
I lost my true love about 30 years ago because I didn't tell her how I felt about her and she found someone else. I found out later that she really loved me, but then it was too ... (read in full...)
Forbidden Love...
Q. I'm deeply in love with my girlfriend and she's as old as I am though we are only 16. Her family is isolating her from me since the day they found out... :[ and not only that we both are just bleeding out tears. They are going to immigrate and may ...
A. 8 March 2008: Love will always find a way.
I realize you are in a very difficult situation here and there may be nothing you can do immediately about this situation.
You are kind of vague about her family, their cultural background, their moral standard... (read in full...)
I worry so much about having sex, even after 5 years of being in a relationship. Please help?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we are in a very loving relationship. I really am very happy but there is just one problem; sex. For almost 4 years of our relationship I had constant kidney and urine infections which meant sex ...
A. 8 March 2008: When a shooter points a gun and tries to hit a target he/she will often times jerk when they pull the trigger in anticipation of the kick and noise from the gun causing them to miss the target.
This is what is known as a conditioned response.
This ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with me ?
Q. 23 years old and i recently have had sex with my new girlfriend. My question is I've had an orgasm but there was little semen in the condom, could this be because I masterbate three times a day? and when i say little semen i mean very little like a ...
A. 8 March 2008: If you milk a cow several times a day how much milk do you think she will produce each time.
Your body can only produce so much seaman in a given amount of time so I am sure you have nothing to worry about. Doc... (read in full...)
My husband has a very controlling nature and the past year has got worse...
Q. I have been married over ten years and my relationship is in tatters, my husband has a very controlling nature and the past year has got worse, the physical abuse has stopped but the emotional abuse is just as draining, will he ever change and is it ...
A. 8 March 2008: First your husband needs to admit that he has a problem.
Then and only then is it a possibility that he will change.
If he refuses to believe there is a problem then you are up against a block wall and there is no sense in even trying because ... (read in full...)
I trust him my life, but I just don't know about his poor judgement.
Q. Lately my boyfriend and I have been getting into arguments over the most petty stuff. He constantly accuses me off cheating, and he makes me feel like crap when he does it. When he brings it up I tell him I would never do such a thing and I tell...
A. 8 March 2008: In a case like this, he may be quick to accuse because it is something he would or is doing himself.
If you will notice, one who is trustworthy will be quick to trust.
However, one whom is not trustworthy almost cannot trust the motives of anyone. ... (read in full...)
How much porn do men watch? Should I be worried?
Q. This question is directed at men, but I'd like anybody's input I can get: I don't think there's anything wrong with porn, I watch a bit of it myself on occasion... but I recently moved in with my boyfriend and I'm realizing that he may be addicted ...
A. 8 March 2008: Porn should not be watched in any amount whatsoever!
Yes, it can even be dangerous to indulge in and has destroyed countless relationships.
The best way to explain what I am talking about is just to give you a couple of links to informat... (read in full...)
I wanna help in my mysterious love...
Q. I was having a bf for 1 year and I really left him from only 5 days and returned to someone i was talking to before knowing my x-bf...... when i was talking to this person he was telling me about his girlfriend i feel jealous but i was smiling and ...
A. 8 March 2008: At your age these are all the questions that seem to show up frequently.
They are also some of the most difficult ones to answer.
I am sure that if you just let things take the natural course you will find that everything will fall into place.
... (read in full...)
White stuff in sexual activities... help, is it normal?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend over a year and he's only the 2nd person I've slept with. We have a great sex life but my self confidence drops as sometimes when he fingers me there is white stuff on his fingers. It doesn't smell and it's not cum, ...
A. 23 February 2008: As long as there is no odor associated with the discharge there is no reason to indicate that this is anything more than a normal vaginal discharge.
This discharge is normally a bit acidic and serves to prevent infection and will carry dead cell... (read in full...)
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