A
female
age
41-50,
*illy05
writes:Hi all,I am a 30 year old woman who has been talking to a 43 year old guy for around 3 months. Initially, he pursued me but after a couple of weeks things got heated and we were intimate twice. Since then, He has texted me less, sometimes not hearing from him for days at a time. He has not tried to make any further face to face contact with me in a few weeks. I have tried to get over him by not initiating any contact but he always manages to send an "R u ok?" or "How are you?" After a lengthy conversation with him last night, he said that he is "gun shy" of a relationship (he was married for 19 years and has 4 children) and was talking to another female on an off (after telling me in the beginning that he was talking to someone but wasn't currently). I am really confused by this guys actions because at times he comes off as caring and old fashioned but sometimes he acts like he could care less. Should I just let him go and not respond to his texts or try to continue talking to him hoping that some time of emotional connection will develop? Thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): His interest in you has peetered out. He's just ducking out of any relationship notions you may have about him after sex, hoping you won't be too mad at him for not being upfront with you THEN about being ready for sex but not a relationship.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 January 2013):
 I would let him go. If he was truly interested he would not be talking to other women and he would surely not tell you about it.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (15 January 2013):
 It sounds like the typical scenario of him being keen during 'the chase' and then backing off once he got what he wanted, or backing off because he wants to keep you - and any other woman - at arms length emotionally.
He doesn't sound like he's looking for any sort of emotional connection/ relationship at the moment, so waiting for that would just be a waste of time for you. He's told you that he's "talking to" another woman (just talking? Or dating?), so he's not interested in committing to you. You're one of his options - not good!
I think it's time to let him go, find someone with less baggage and who is looking for the same things in a relationship as you. And I think you should tell him that rather than just stop replying to his texts. Tell him you've realised you're looking for different things. Good luck
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