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My BF and I had a fight a week ago and he hasn't called me since. What should I do?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 February 2013) 10 Answers - (Newest, 3 February 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

My bf and myself had a fight, to be precise he fought with me saying that I'm bugging him when I asked him to spend some time with me also along with his friends.

He hasn't called me for a week, what should I do now. I am scared that he might insult me if I call him.

Please help me, I love him a lot.

View related questions: hasn't called

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (3 February 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntDear OP

15 minutes a day isn't unreasonable. No communication sounds like a wide idea.

Sorry it hasn't worked out with this guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

@ Daisy, I asked him to spend atleast 15 mins a day with me, i dont think that was too much to ask or impossible thing for him to do when he spends almost all of his time with his friends (particulary one guy friend who is though married likes to spend time with him rather than his pregnant wife). I was there for him at all his difficult times while his guy friends scattered around as soon as they saw he was in trouble,

Thank u all for ur answers, i decided not to have any sort of communication with him anymore

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

@ Daisy Daisy, I asked him to spend with me atleast 15 mins a day, I don't think its unreasonable or too much to ask for.

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A male reader, Grym United States +, writes (3 February 2013):

Its funny because he could be getting the same advise you are right now. I was in your position a few weeks ago. She wanted more time together, I was too busy with work and school so it was hard seeing her everyday. We got into a heated argument that had unexpectedly blown out of proportion.

We stopped talking for a while not sure who was in the wrong.

We probably would not have gotten back together if everyone was telling us not to. She called me wanting to talk. I admitted I was wrong and apologized for being stubborn. She says she understands how difficult it is for me to have free time for her due to my studying, working and sleeping.

We came to a compromise and now see each other more often.

The point is, stop letting other people run your life by telling you what you should do. Follow your heart. If you want to call, call him. Ask him where you two stand with eachother. Find out if you two can come to a mutual agreement. Guys can be stubborn. Some dont like to make the first move. Sometimes all it takes is a little push and their stubborness will crumble.

I have a saying that I have lived by for years. "Regret is much harder to live with than Rejection"

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013):

You haven't done anything wrong by asking him that and he should so

you should definitely not call or text him because he is the wrong not

you so you should leave it to him to contact you and if he doesn't agree to spend more time with you then you should leave him and move on.

Hope this helps

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A female reader, Soldierette United Kingdom +, writes (2 February 2013):

Soldierette agony auntLeave it to him and go find another man who will treat you for the princess you really are.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (2 February 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou had a fight because you want more time together than he does... now he's not calling you.

honey it was not a fight... you are broken up.

move on.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (2 February 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYour "question" reminds me of this sage advice that I got from my Father, once: "When someone isn't speaking to you... DON'T INTERRUPT THEM!!!!!!"

Leave this one in your past, and get on with your life...

Good luck....

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (2 February 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntIf he doesn't want to spend much time with you, creates an argument about it and then doesn't call for a week he doesn't sound like he's in to the relationship at all.

But I don't know your relationship. Perhaps you expect to spend an unreasonable amount of time with him (say, 5 nights out of 7), don't allow him to see his friends, nag him constantly and he needs his space.

Why would he insult you if you called? Wouldn't it be better to know what's going on, either way? If he's finished the relationship, it's hard to face but better to know rather than sit around wondering.

It does sound like you are way more in to him and the relationship than he is. And that there are big issues around communication.

Good luck either way, I hope it works out BUT don't hang on to him if he's not treating you right and meeting your needs.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (2 February 2013):

janniepeg agony auntI can't really call that a boyfriend. A man who loves you has time for you. He would take your needs seriously and not get mad, give you the silent treatment just because you have needs. You also should not be with in a relationship when you are afraid to speak up.

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