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It's been impossible to move on from my ex. He's in a relationship now, yet is concurrently sending me texts. What should I do?

Tagged as: Flirting, Social Media, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 19 February 2017)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

im in need of advice, I am being confused with random contact from my ex.

my ex and I have been on and off for years. Four to five months ago he disappeared to date someone else, broke my heart.

i was always the one wanted to get back together and he was always "not ready yet".

I have not reached out to him at all. about a month ago he texted me but I was asleep and didn't answer, then a couple weeks ago he sent another message.

I don't understand what he is doing but I know he is still with this girl.

He is posting pics with this girl online "happy" but why contact me?

He must know i'm hurt he knows how I feel about him.

We have mutual friends so he has to know I know about his relationship..i have to admit when I see these messages I get happy because I miss him..

I don't know what to do.. or what to think..we at one time talked about getting married, I feel like it has been impossible to move on..

View related questions: get back together, move on, my ex, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (19 February 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntAw honey I was in the exact same situation as well you and believe me their is no happy ending. Please do not be happy he contacted you. I was like you at the start, delighted, until I realised he just wanted someone other than his girlfriend to show him attention, believe me that's all it is. He does not want you back he just wants someone who will show him attention that is all. Block him and never look back you will find a guy who is worth so much more like I did x

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (15 February 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntHe's keeping you as a Plan B in case things don't work out with his new girlfriend.

How do you know he didn't have a Plan B while he was with you?

Feel sorry for his current girlfriend, block his number and refuse contact with him. I know it's not easy but trust me, you will feel so much better when you have taken back control.

You deserve to be someone's one and only, not their fall-back.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2017):

Seems as though you are halfway there - to independence and riddance of him. Congrats you've been strong and you've gone far!! Keep going and don't look back!! Remember how he has hurt you? Remember the tears you shed for him? Remember thinking to yourself how are you going to move on? Well you DID MOVE ON... YOU ARE HALFWAY THERE!! Don't, please don't allow his texts and contact to drag you back. All the effort and hard work you've put into moving on will be lost and you will be back feeling unwanted and unloved. Do you really want to go through all that again or do you want to keep moving on and giving someone else the chance to love and adore you the way you so deserve.

He's not worth your time - forget him.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (14 February 2017):

Ciar agony auntI have to agree with Honeypie and N91.

He's apparently not committed to his new girlfriend either, though don't take that to be a ray of hope for you. He doesn't want to risk being alone, so he maintains back up plans without considering the effect it has on others.

Block and delete. No need to wait for him to make a decision, make one yourself and sever all ties.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 February 2017):

Honeypie agony auntOh yes, like N 91 said - HE wants to have you as the fallback girl if this new one doesn't work out. He knows you will take his crap.

An on/off relationship isn't a good thing. If people need to take "breaks" from their relationship they either aren't fully committed or a really poor match.

Tell him to stop contacting you and BLOCK him. That way you can work on getting over him. Do you really want to waste MORe of your life waiting for him to be "ready"? Because he might BE ready, but not with you - YEARS of experience should tell you that.

And the talks of marriage? TALK is cheap, OP - it's SO easy for a person to say stuff, promise stuff, get the other person's hopes up and then NEVER deliver.

IF you look back I BET you there was a pattern of him making promises he never kept.

There is no need to be confused here. You are the backup. THAT is why he is making sure you don't move on or "forget" him. And let's say they don't work out and he comes back to you, it will ONLY be temporary again. ON/OFF - till something "better" (in his eyes) comes along.

Time to let him go, evict him from your heart and mind and when you are ALL over and done with him, look for someone who WANTS to be with you. A guy who's ACTIONS matches his WORDS and PROMISES.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (14 February 2017):

N91 agony auntYou'll never get over him unless you block him. He doesn't want you to forget about it and he's doing a good job of it.

Hes not worth your time, block him and move on.

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