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Should I meet up to talk to him after he said he didn't want to be with me anymore?

Tagged as: Faded love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 December 2016) 6 Answers - (Newest, 5 December 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I was with this boy for a few months and he basically said that he's changed so doesn't want to be with me.

I dunno if I should go meet up and talk or to just let him go.

I've never loved someone as much as I love him. He is my true love and he has helped me through so much but I don't know if seeing him agian is going to hurt me more or is going to give me the closure I need. What should I do?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 December 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntThe first heartbreak is the hardest, I know it feels like the end of the world now. But it does get better, it probably will happen again but you will deal with it better as you get older.

Sweetie meeting up with him is a very bad idea. You don't need closure he has already broken up with you. What you need now is to accept it. It is okay to cry. But meeting up with him is only going to hurt you much more. You are probably still hoping if he sees you he will change his mind. But you are still very young and he is obviously not wanting to be in a relationship so you need to accept that however hard it is.

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A male reader, Roboaxe United States +, writes (5 December 2016):

Roboaxe agony auntMove on. You're not even old enough to vote. Trust me you will find plenty of other awesome guys in your life.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (4 December 2016):

N91 agony auntHe isn't your true love or else you wouldn't of broken up.

He doesn't want to be with you anymore, let it sink in, accept it and move on and find someone who is on the same page as you.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (4 December 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntIn the future, when you've been in a more mature relationship and you really get to experience true love, you'll be so glad you didn't hold on to this guy.

If you meet up with him, it will only hurt you more - allow someone to break up with you, if they aren't in it any more, as it means you're free to move on and eventually be with someone who does want to be with you.

I know it feels like love, but you'll realise (in a few years) that actual love is so much more than what you've experienced with this guy. Your love for him is age-appropriate, so it's more of a deep crush, but when you're older and are with someone else (maybe not the next person or the person after that), you'll really be glad you didn't stick to guys who wanted to break up.

Sometimes, people we feel we love decide to leave us, or we have to decide to leave them. It hurts and it's not a nice feeling, but it's part of growing up and developing into our more mature selves.

You'll be okay, OP, but you need to let him go.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 December 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI agree, let him go.

Meeting up will do YOU (and him) no good. He has already made his mind up so meeting up will not give you closure. ACCEPTING that it's over will EVENTUALLY give you closure.

You know the saying:

“If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.”

Let him go with DIGNITY. And who knows maybe you BOTH need to grow and mature. And who is to say that maybe sometime down the line you will meet again? OR you might just meet someone better suited for you.

The notion of "TRUE love" is great. But there isn't just ONE person out there for you. Trust me on that.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (4 December 2016):

Ciar agony auntI don't see the point.

Is he asking for this meeting or are you thinking of asking him? I don't know how saying it again in person is going to make any difference. No benefits and possibly more pain.

Nope, let him go, grieve in private.

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