| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Wife lied, she wasn't a virgin. What do you think? What should I do?
Q. Ever since my wife and i met she has always been a very conservative virgin girl, her choice and she was very string that it was important to her. I knew she had a BF before me but she insisted she was a virgin and it was very important to her. This ...
A. 9 September 2019: A g-string isnt the definition of having clothes on, is my thought. Sounds like this insistance is more for her own sake than yours. Maybe she twisted her own memory of things because she hated herself for doing it. Like a tiny g-string would ... (read in full...)
Heartbroken after breakup and feel like my chance for love is over
Q. I feel a bit silly about this because I think I'm too old to be going through this for the first time. I've had long relationships before that fizzled out. This is the first break up I've had, after 5.5 years, that ended with me being totally ...
A. 4 September 2019: You did dodge a bullet. He stopped loving you. Phew, good thing you werent married or had a kid together! Realize this. It is always better to have a wrong relationship end, than to have it carrying on. Even though I get that it hurts, because you ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend might be married. What should I do?
Q. I think my new boyfriend might be married and I have no idea how to bring up the subject. We've been together for almost three months and while things have been good, some of his behaviour has always been a bit off. Nothing I can put my finger on, ...
A. 1 September 2019: Stop with hinting, what a waste of time. Women need to learn to ask directly for what they want. After three months, I think he should have already told you if he was divorced. But just ask him straight out. Also, dont everyone connect on ... (read in full...)
Wife lied, she wasn't a virgin. What do you think? What should I do?
Q. Ever since my wife and i met she has always been a very conservative virgin girl, her choice and she was very string that it was important to her. I knew she had a BF before me but she insisted she was a virgin and it was very important to her. This ...
A. 30 August 2019: Well, she lied before. Im thinking how can you trust anything she says? Wether shes lying again about the pics or not doesnt matter. She already lied about who took them. She already lied for years about being a virgin. So, it would not surprise me ... (read in full...)
He's ready to settle, but I love having my own life. What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years. We met at uni. When I met him, I had just come home from New Zealand. It was the 3rd country I’d worked in in three years, and I was ready to settle in one place for a while and study. We were ...
A. 24 August 2019: Wow, I have to disagree with YouWish. «The wall»??? No such thing, for sure not in my part of the world, anyway. Ive heard a friend of mine use that as an excuse to stay in a shitty relationship that she was too afraid to leave. She said all men are ... (read in full...)
Am I being an overprotective cat mom or is it cruel to leave my little kitten at home alone when I go to work?
Q. Hey i just bought the most divine cutest himalayan kitten, he is 2 months old and has been taken away from his mummy and daddy, and his other 2 brothers in the litter my friend and her husband took the 2 brothers! I absolutely ADORE him he is the ...
A. 24 August 2019: Ac on is good, but TV? Hes not watching TV, he is a cat... It is debatable wether or not leaving him alone that long is cruel. Him being forced to be indoors is also something you can concider as cruel. If you can afford it, especially now when he ... (read in full...)
He's ready to settle, but I love having my own life. What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years. We met at uni. When I met him, I had just come home from New Zealand. It was the 3rd country I’d worked in in three years, and I was ready to settle in one place for a while and study. We were ...
A. 23 August 2019: To me, it sounds like you should break up. You and him want different things, and you value your freedom more. Besides, only hanging on to him because you dont think you can find better? What a silly thought. How about you find a man who shares your ... (read in full...)
Is mutual masturbation with random online women cheating on my wife of 10 years?
Q. I've been married for 10 years. I love my wife dearly and our sex life is still very much alive and well. The problem is I used to go into chat rooms before I met her. It involved video exchanges with random women. I used to pay for it but once that ...
A. 19 August 2019: Yes, this is cheating. If you want it to be okay and not cheating, you have to get your wife’s permission. Sex with others is still sex with others, wether you are in the same room or not. Not living out all your fantasies and just sticking to one ... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel this way that my son's friend's mother didn't acknowledge me?
Q. Hello People!!! Okay so my 6 year old son plays Pee wee football. Their is a friendly competition between him and his teammate A as I will call him. Basically A’s mom and my husband have communicated hear and their about the boys and how they can ...
A. 18 August 2019: Im with Cindycares on this one. Your husband was supposed to introduce you. And when he did not, it was just as rude of you to not introduce yourself as it was of her. But I still think this matters little. I often forget the formal introductions ... (read in full...)
How to approach her obsession with her looks
Q. Wife bought waist trainer corset. When I first saw it on her, she looked super sexy; tiny waist with huge boobs (DD; what a dream. I made the mistake of telling her how hot she was and as a result, she started wearing it all the time. Over time, she ...
A. 17 August 2019: It is never a mistake to make your wife feel sexy. Let her enjoy it. I dont see why you feel this is a problem. She found something that makes her feel good, apparently. Maybe you didnt show her enough attention before, and that is why she continues ... (read in full...)
Do most men see short women as less attractive than tall women .
Q. Do most men see short women as less attractive than tall women . I often see descriptions of ‘hot ‘ or attractive women include the word tall and cute or sweet women as shorter . Obviously individuals have individual preferences but in GENERAL is ...
A. 17 August 2019: No. Men like women who are shorter than them. Tiny women make them feel big and strong. Im a tall woman, above the national average. My height has never been a reason for men to find me attractive, quite the opposite. Im too tall for most, except ... (read in full...)
I get an erection during my massages. How can I handle this?
Q. I enjoy going to get massages. I find them relaxing and it stopped my back from hurting (to be fair, losing over a hundred pounds plus getting back massages helped stop my back from hurting). The problem, whenever the massage therapist start ...
A. 6 August 2019: Think of your grandma. Then again, I dont think an erection is that unheard of or that the massage therapist cares.... (read in full...)
I'm off to a spa weekend by myself, my boyfriend didn't want to come and he wants to stop me going too!
Q. I have booked myself a spa break in a classy hotel as a treat and my boyfriend is saying its a dodgy place to go in a hot tub with strangers in a bikini for a woman. He kept saying men could try and chat me up. I don't understand this Im going ...
A. 23 July 2019: Go to the spa. Enjoy yourself. ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why men cheat
Q. Why do guys cheat? Is it because the sex is no good with me or is it because hes just a man?...
A. 20 July 2019: Neither. Some people, not men specifically, are liars and selfish idiots. Women cheat too. But luckily there is hope, as not all people are selfish idiots. There are some with integrity, pride, compassion and who value honesty. Find those people. ... (read in full...)
If I could see into the future and see that our marriage would be the same for the next 20 years, then that is not what I want for my life.
Q. Hi, I need help with something. I am a 23 year old Christian man, I have been married for two years and the last year has been sexless. My wife and I got married two years ago and initially I could tell that she was nervous about sexual intimacy (we ...
A. 18 July 2019: Discover intimacy in another way than through sex. This is my first advice for this situation. You and your wife do not have intimacy, and you blame it on no sex. But intimacy comes before sex. Perhaps she avoids sex because she feels there is no ... (read in full...)
How can I make my boyfriend realize how awful he's been to me?
Q. My boyfriend has been horrible to me lately and I'm really upset that he doesn't feel bad for treating me the way he has. Last week he asked me to book a last minute holiday, I don't know why he couldn't do it himself but just text me his card...
A. 16 July 2019: Its time to dump him. ... (read in full...)
Do I just have to put up with him staring at other women?
Q. Hey everyone I’m in.a relationship for 6 years now my boyfriend has always stared at women in front of me for the first couple of years it really upset me then he stopped but now I have caught him loads of times doing it he nearly put his neck out ...
A. 14 July 2019: @female anon, Ive actually never heard of this as a problem outside of this forum. None of my friends have this issue with their boyfriends or husbands. I never had a boyfriend who did this. Ive never even seen it in real life. My guess is its a ... (read in full...)
Do I just have to put up with him staring at other women?
Q. Hey everyone I’m in.a relationship for 6 years now my boyfriend has always stared at women in front of me for the first couple of years it really upset me then he stopped but now I have caught him loads of times doing it he nearly put his neck out ...
A. 14 July 2019: This is not «what men do», this is what your disrespectful boyfriend does. Sorry to say so, but if I were you I would have probably dumped him long time ago. You can not change a man, but you can change boyfriends... Ive never had a boyfriend who ... (read in full...)
How do I ask our friend to take the photos of us and our home off Instagram and not sound angry?
Q. I don't want to make a big deal out of this... and... thanx for your help :) I'm a private person and I don't use social networks. My husband doesn't use them either. Unlike me, he really hates them, I just do not like them. Recently a frie...
A. 11 July 2019: Legally speaking, in general, pictures taken of a person needs conscent. Especially if they are to be poster online. You have every right to ask that they be taken down as it invades your right to privacy. I do the same. Im ok with pictures for ... (read in full...)
To very submissive people out here with partners that want them to be dominant, what did you do?
Q. A bit of a dilemma, looking for some advice! First off, I love my husband and absolutely want to please him. Second off, I'm a highly submissive person by nature, in everything, not just the bedroom. Being dominant assertive is difficult for me...
A. 11 July 2019: Tell him that it is a turn off for you. Do things together in bed that satisfy both. However, part of being dominant is not allowing him to decide what actions will be performed. Tie him up, blindfold him, and use his body for your own satisfaction. ... (read in full...)
Why has my husband of 15 years suddenly become so interested in anal sex?
Q. Hello I’m wondering why my husband of 15 years is suddenly only wanting to have foreplay with my anal it’s bern a couple months and I feel he’s prepping me slowing he started touching me there then kissing and licking and now he’s trying to do it ...
A. 8 July 2019: So why dont you ask him? ... (read in full...)
I Havent Heard From My Boyfriend In Two Days After A Fight Concerning Commitment/Marriage. Should I contact him or give him his space?
Q. Hello everyone Bf and I have been dating for three years now. For the most part, we have a very solid relationship. We agree on most salient things and enjoy laughing with each other. We have even considered moving in with one another, somethin...
A. 8 July 2019: WiseOwlE's answer was a bit confusing to me, but I translate it to mean something of the likes of: break up.
I too think you should break up. Here's why.
You want marriage. Whoever told you it's just a "piece of paper" clearly does not want ma... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my fiance even though I love someone else?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I will try to keep this short as possible. I've been in a long term relationship for 14 years and have a 14 year old daughter who my partner raised as his own since she was 2 weeks old. We had an amazing relati...
A. 26 June 2019: Im glad you and your daughter are doing better. You did the right thing. ... (read in full...)
Do I give up my baby dream
Q. I joined a dating site last year and after a few bad dates i found a guy that was perfect we had several dates loads in common enjoy each others company but he decided to tell me hed rather be friends with benefits. I agreed but now im unsure what ...
A. 22 June 2019: Stop the fwb, its holding you back. You know what you want, and you need to find that person who wants the same and says it out loud. Until you find that person, say «next!»... (read in full...)
Do I tell my husband that his adult daughter is putting terrible things about him on social media?
Q. Do I tell my husband or not that his adult daughter is putting nasty things on social media about him, things like he's not been around for years and other horrible stuff, which is untrue we took her out for dinner last weekend! I am assuming it's ...
A. 22 June 2019: Dont tell him, but do have a chat with her and ask why she posts those things and if she really means them, and in which case encourage her to talk to her father about it instead of posting it for everyone to see online.... (read in full...)
Are straight people welcome in gay clubs or not?
Q. Recently my gay friend invited me to accompany him to the gay club. I'm straight and I was kind of in two minds about it. I'm not homophobic at all but somehow I felt like I don't belong in there and as a straight person, I shouldn't occupy places ...
A. 19 June 2019: Yes, straight people are welcome at all gay bars and events. But jerks are everywhere, and of every sexuality. ... (read in full...)
I'd like to date my friend but worried about losing his friendship
Q. I like this guy. I play tennis with him so I am around him pretty much all day every day especially because it's summer. He has shown lots of signs that he's into me but I guess I'm just scared to lose him as a friend if I get rejected. I want to ...
A. 17 June 2019: Dont ask him out directly, just ask to hang out. For example go for a milkshake together or get some lunch together. When you sit down with him, take the opportunity to get to know him better by asking what his plans are for summer/after summer, if ... (read in full...)
How can I help her deal with an abusive ex?
Q. So I've recently met a girl and we have started seeing each other. It's going well and I like her a lot. She recently confided in me though that her ex boyfriend was abusive towards her. She told me that he was generally a very angry person who ...
A. 10 June 2019: Here is what you need to do: just be a good and decent person. The rest is up to her. And dont raise your voice in arguments.... (read in full...)
Our vacation centers always around my boyfriend
Q. I've been with my bf for nearly 5 years. He's from a different country so we don't get to go on vacation unless it's to see his friends and family. I don't mind but when we do go we don't get time to relax. I've gotten sick on this trip to the point ...
A. 9 June 2019: Arent you old enough to put your for down and decide your own schedule? Tell him : we will go visit your family, but I also want us to do this and that just the two of us + I wont attend all the meetings. Its a vacation, right? Supposedly? Just say ... (read in full...)
Is it true that if you cant be happy on your own, then you wont be happy in a relationship?
Q. I am sure you guys have heard the saying " if you cant be happy on your own you wont be happy in a relationship" in your guys opinion do you believe that this is true. If someone isn't happy with there life and who they are and they just keep j...
A. 9 June 2019: Its true. If you are only with someone to not feel lonely, then you arent really that interested in the person, and you also dont bring anything to the relationship. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me like glass since I'm a virgin
Q. Hi y’all. I’ve taken some of your advice to put myself out there and date and get to know a guy. He’s actually a classmate of mine and my friends set us up. We’ve been dating for for a while but he treats me differently. The conversation of sex c...
A. 9 June 2019: Thanks for the follow-up. Just to let you know I once had a boyfriend who was a virgin at 26, unkissed and everything. We did not make it into a big deal and things were just normal. The «first time» or «virgin» is just a made up concept after all. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me like glass since I'm a virgin
Q. Hi y’all. I’ve taken some of your advice to put myself out there and date and get to know a guy. He’s actually a classmate of mine and my friends set us up. We’ve been dating for for a while but he treats me differently. The conversation of sex c...
A. 6 June 2019: I get it. But what you need to understand is that you are dating a guy who obviously puts a lot of emphasis on virginity. More than you do. I would wonder if he would think of me as less special after sex, if he over-values my virginity. I mean what ... (read in full...)
I feel my husband is using me financially
Q. I don’t have anyone I can ask for advice that won’t be bias in either my favor or my husband’s favor. This might be long, but I’ll try to condense this. My husband and I are both in our late 20s. We have a daughter together. We’ve been together a ...
A. 4 June 2019: My answer will depend on this: does he have the opportunity and health to work full time/get a job with higher salary? If he is not working full time because he is lazy, then sure. Then it is his choice to be poor. If he on the other hand does not ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is illegally in my country, wants to marry me so he can stay on and is planning our wedding which is going to happen in a week!
Q. Hi everyone, I have a situation. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and he does everything for me and my kids. We first met online, he had come from a far country to visit me and he decided not to go back to his country. So now he has ...
A. 2 June 2019: Tell him to go back to his country and that you need a relationship to last longer than one year before you will marry + you want to marry for the right reasons and not for him to stay. By staying illegalt he is turning himself into a criminal and ... (read in full...)
A troubling situation is arising my dad is becoming a creep
Q. Firstly,my dad has never abused or molested me growing up and he was actually very protective of me and my sister. Now even as an adult my father will do anything for me and he has expressed that I'm his favorite child. I never felt weird around my ...
A. 31 May 2019: Look at this list of signs of Alzheimers. Especially part 22/27.
https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/alzheimers-25-signs-never-to-ignore/22/... (read in full...)
She thanked me, said she had a good time but also said she is not looking for anything serious
Q. I matched and got talking to a girl on a online dating app.. Few messages later went out for dinner. Holy smokes she is stunning. I don’t have a clue how it went. She kept thanking me and saying she had a good time. But also said she is not looking ...
A. 31 May 2019: Hmm, I take her message a bit differently. To me it sounds like she is fine with casual dates and hook-ups, but doesnt want to committ or be exclusive. So she is probably dating several people at once. You should have just sent her a text right ... (read in full...)
A troubling situation is arising my dad is becoming a creep
Q. Firstly,my dad has never abused or molested me growing up and he was actually very protective of me and my sister. Now even as an adult my father will do anything for me and he has expressed that I'm his favorite child. I never felt weird around my ...
A. 30 May 2019: ... yuck! Your dad cleary has forgotten that you are his daughter. So weird for this to start out of the blue? And also weird that he plays «favourite». Either he is a pervert, and in which case I highly doubt this has come overnight. I would check ... (read in full...)
What is the average age for first time sex for a girl?
Q. how old is the average age when a girl has sex for the first time?? ...
A. 30 May 2019: That depends on the country, but in Norway its typically been 17 for girls and 19 for boys.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cant see my point of view and issued an ultimatum
Q. I'm in a bit of a dilemma as I've just started a relationship with a girl who I really thought was the one. We've been going out for about four months now and I really do love her and she loves me. She's just been on a massive rant to me today ...
A. 24 May 2019: She is being possessive and jealous, two red flags. You thought you knew this girl, well you dont. She just revealed her true self to you, and its not pretty. Accept the ultimatum and break it off with her. There will be healthier women and stronger ... (read in full...)
I think I was used by this person and now they got what they wanted they dropped me
Q. Hi, over the last 7 months I have become very friendly with a former work colleague. During this time I have given up a large portion of my time helping them getting a new job. I would spend my time going through job specifications with them and ...
A. 23 May 2019: Just disconnect. Some people are giving of nature, and some dont see anything wrong with accepting help. You are yourself at fault for setting «conditions» on your help. In the future, only offer help sincerely, and not because you expect things in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is very casual about his daughters' privacy and I find it very very odd
Q. Ive been seeing a guy who's super awesome. We're both single parents of two girls each. They stay the night frequently. My girls are 9 and 13, his are 9 and 11. Despite having lived in an all girl house for the last 5 years or so, my daughters and ...
A. 18 May 2019: If you ask about cultural differences, please inform us what cultures you are both from. Otherwise I can not comment on that. As for «formale soaps», there is no such thing. What body parts smell funny? Maybe he means their armpits and they ... (read in full...)
Do we change our views in regards to relationships as we get older?
Q. Silly question maybe but in terms of how you are as a person do we change all that much from the ages of twenty to forty when it comes to how we view relationships? My partner says he didn't know what love was, had nothing to compare it to, looks ...
A. 17 May 2019: Yes, at least I have changed my views. I value different things in a relationship now, I know myself better through experience and have grown to have more patience. I now know what is good and what is bad, at 19 I really was naive and put up with a ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my fiance even though I love someone else?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I will try to keep this short as possible. I've been in a long term relationship for 14 years and have a 14 year old daughter who my partner raised as his own since she was 2 weeks old. We had an amazing relati...
A. 27 February 2017: You're going about this in the wrong way, pushing the cart before the horse.
"What has upset me is, I agreed to marry my partner because I felt my friend never saw us together as a couple."
So, you marry one man because you think it's just ... (read in full...)
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