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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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My partner wants to move back to his home country but I'm not sure if I'll fit in
Q. My partner and I have been together for 3 years. He's from the Czech Republic and I'm from the UK, where we both live together and rent a flat. I have visited the Czech Republic three times now (accompanying him to see his family), althoug...
A. 11 January 2018: Lots of czeck people speak english. Not to worry. ... (read in full...)
The conversation will revolve around babies, should I suck it up and go?
Q. I am a happily married 37 yo childfree woman. Next sunday two friends of my hubby - invited us to lunch. His pals are both married, so we’re talking about lunch with two couples. One couple has a three year old very lively boy and another has just...
A. 11 January 2018: Why cant he go alone? ... (read in full...)
His email to his brother hurts more than his affair
Q. My partner and I have been together for 3 years in January, he cheated on me with someone I knew in October. In our bed When I was away for 2 days. When I came back he acted like nothing had happened but I knew in my heart and then my friends told ...
A. 11 January 2018: He doesnt love you. When you love someone, you dont treat them like crap. ... (read in full...)
My husband raised a boy as his own, but now he is 19 I don't want him included in our family!
Q. Hi Just need a bit of advice...my husband met a woman who already had a child 17 years ago. My husband then helped bring him up, however when this child become 13/14 he came into a lot of trouble and trouble has followed him since. Oliver no...
A. 7 January 2018: Can you tell us how the baby is taking any harm in this? You mention twice that you need to protect the baby, but I don't see in your description how the baby is at all influenced or in harms way here. It sounds more like you simply do not like this ... (read in full...)
My new wife sunbathes topless and I've seen other men looking
Q. We are in honeymoon. My wife did topless tanning in a beach with a lot of people. I dont feel so comfortable with this so I discussed with her. She didnt like it and she told me that I am jealous and that she did it only for tanning. I accepted it ...
A. 4 January 2018: Yes, it is true from your wife that she does it for tanning. And yes, it is also true that other men stare.
I think you should discuss it with her again, but without accusation. Do not suggest she lies. Instead speak from your heart. Other me... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to his personality and not so much to his looks. Can a relationship work like this?
Q. Hi Everyone! Can a relationship work on personality attraction alone l? I’ve met the most amazing guy I’ve quite possibly ever encountered before. We met in the gym where he works, I did NOT find him atttactive at all when I first met him. The...
A. 1 January 2018: Can a relationship work workout that huge physical response?
No.
But in your case, is this really a matter of not being attracted, or him just being somewhat outside of the norm for what you typically find attractive?
I am going to be blun... (read in full...)
Can this violent, abusive relationship be saved?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over two years now. We have a house together and before we moved in, we had a great time. However when we moved in, he kept throwing parties and his friends would strip naked and jump into our bed, be ...
A. 30 December 2017: Nope, time to leave. This is a shitty person, you don't want to be with this type of man, trust me. Get out of there while you can. ... (read in full...)
How do I fix a bad first impression and make him look at me again?
Q. Afew months ago there was a personal trainer who kept looking at me and watching me from afar; I'd look over to him and he never smiled nor turned away. It was quite intimidating so I looked away and didn't pay too much attention. His actually ...
A. 30 December 2017: Just say hi to him next time you walk by, without stopping, and without doing anything special. Just a quick hi when passing by. Maybe a smile. Nothing big. It'll get things started again. Because the ball is on your side of the field now, that's ... (read in full...)
Worried my girlfriend will cheat while out of town on NYE.
Q. My girlfriend of seven years is going to spend New Years Eve with a friend of hers who lives in another state. This is the first NYE we will spend apart since we've gotten together. My girlfriend (and her friend, who has been her best friend ...
A. 29 December 2017: If she wanted to cheat she wouldn't need to go to NY to do it. If she wanted an affair, it'd be much more probable that she would have one at home, and not in a city where she barely goes to visit.
Not that this would comfort you, just pointing... (read in full...)
How do I tell my mum that we're back together?
Q. I've been through a bit of a messy break-up in the last 6 months. Naturally I turned to my mum for advice/someone to cry to. I've told her a lot of the problems me and my bf had been having, and how he'd been treating me. As far as she's concerned, ...
A. 29 December 2017: Firstly, never get back together with an ex. There is a reason you broke up, and as long as that reason is still there, you will break up again. Second, dont go tell people all about troubles in a relationship, simply because of this. They will, of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to be near me when I am sick.
Q. Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for past 2 years and it's going on good and we meet on weekends and stay together on weekend. One thing that concerns me, not sure if I should be, he doesn't want to meet and around me whenever I'm sick, he says he doesn...
A. 22 December 2017: I would dump him. Ever heard of "in sickness and health"? I want to be taken care of when sick. I do the same in return. Omg imagine if you lived together /started a family. He would evacuate the house each time someone got sick and leave you alone ... (read in full...)
I found men's boxers next to my hot tub!
Q. I have a hot tub in the back of the house. The yard is not fenced and there is open space behind where people often walk. Last night I found a pair of men's boxers that are not mine laying on the ground next to the tub. My wife of 19 years said ...
A. 21 December 2017: Really. Are you naive? Yes, someone helped themselves to a skinny dipping in your pool, and your wife was not invited. Get a fence or an alarm, or next you will find someone did more than just take a bath there. ... (read in full...)
Should I own up to my size?
Q. I only have 4 inches erect and I met this girl about month ago. She is very beautiful and has great personality. We have gotten more physical in the relationship but due to nervousness I invent excuse to leave before she sees me naked or before sex ...
A. 17 December 2017: I would prefer a guy to let things go by the flow and enjoy himself. Girls dont need or want a large penis. We want a great kisser and someone who is passionate in bed. Someone who enjoys making us feel good. That's what makes someone a great lover. ... (read in full...)
Should I own up to my size?
Q. I only have 4 inches erect and I met this girl about month ago. She is very beautiful and has great personality. We have gotten more physical in the relationship but due to nervousness I invent excuse to leave before she sees me naked or before sex ...
A. 17 December 2017: I would prefer a guy to let things go by the flow and enjoy himself. Girls dont need or want a large penis. We want a great kisser and someone who is passionate in bed. Someone who enjoys making us feel... (read in full...)
I have a health problem that makes me feel unworthy of a man's love
Q. What really makes us worthy of love? I have been losing hair since teenage years and my hair density has gradually declined (not bald yet). With treatment, I have stopped the hair loss to some extent and seeing some new hair growth. But, fig...
A. 15 December 2017: A woman carries her pride in her hair. It is no wonder you feel the way you do with hairloss. For majority of women, their hair is their pride, their femininity, their self esteem. There is a reason why cutting a womans hair was seen as a terrible ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being brutally honest and I can't cope with it.
Q. Been dating for a year and it's the BEST relationship I've ever been in. However, he's starting to be brutally honest and I'm not liking it. I've told him how I felt, even cried and I try to avoid certain topics just because where it can lead to. He ...
A. 15 December 2017: Being in an honest relationship means you don't lie. So that means you can not ask him things unless you are prepared to hear the truthful answer.
But, being honest does not mean you deliberately say hurtful things without being asked. That is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being brutally honest and I can't cope with it.
Q. Been dating for a year and it's the BEST relationship I've ever been in. However, he's starting to be brutally honest and I'm not liking it. I've told him how I felt, even cried and I try to avoid certain topics just because where it can lead to. He ...
A. 15 December 2017: Being in an honest relationship means you don't lie. So that means you can not ask him things unless you are prepared to hear the truthful answer.
But, being honest does not mean you deliberately say hurtful things without being asked. That is ... (read in full...)
He wants me to change, I want him to love me as I am.
Q. I'm feeling kind of hopeless in the relationship I'm in. We'e been together nearly 10 months, age gap between us is 15 years. We get a long great, there is so much chemistry. We love each other very much. There is however an issue that we find ...
A. 15 December 2017: This man is not for you. I know you don't want to hear this, but I believe you should end this relationship. There is no need to argue further over this. This is an incompatibility issue. You are who you are, he is who he is. Neither is wrong. But ... (read in full...)
My female friend said she had an "inappropriate" dream about me. What could it be?
Q. A friend of the opposite gender brought something up. We were talking about dreams, all sorts of dreams, and then she said 'I had a dream about you recently'. I asked what the dream was about and then after a long pause she responded with 'it's ...
A. 15 December 2017: Do you really need to ask? It was sexual. But don't take it as a sign she wants a relationship. Sex in a dream does not mean you want sex in real life with this person. It is just a dream that means she is exploring herself and who she is, comparing ... (read in full...)
Is this my motherhood talking or would I have changed my mind as I grew older anyway?
Q. I have a daughter who will soon become a teenager. (they grow up sooo fast!). My sister commented that we'll soon have some dating-drama in the house. Which made me think of my teenage and young adult years. What would I do as a mother if my dau...
A. 15 December 2017: I get what you mean, I often have these "thought games" myself and ask myself what I would have done had I been my own mother in this and that circumstance. What I always conclude with, after giving it thought, is that you can not even generalize. ... (read in full...)
How do I control something that is so compulsive in my nature?
Q. I dunno if this is the right place to ask this question but here goes... I'm a motorcyclist and I'm impulsive and crave the thrill of speed.I had another accident today... This must be my fifth and it looks like I have completely torn my rotator ...
A. 10 December 2017: Driving a motorcycle is not instinctive. You're doing it because, to be honest, you aren't mature enough yet to understand consequences. How else can you explain that you end up in accidents and then you "forget" about it after just two weeks. It's ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my wife to work on her weight problem and not just moan about it
Q. How can I encourage my Mrs to lose weight. We have been married 6 yrs, she was gorgeous slim when we met. Over the years I have told her she is getting big and she should try and maintain shape before it gets out of control. Her response is that she ...
A. 6 December 2017: *precisely, not precipice (autospell)... (read in full...)
How do I tell my wife to work on her weight problem and not just moan about it
Q. How can I encourage my Mrs to lose weight. We have been married 6 yrs, she was gorgeous slim when we met. Over the years I have told her she is getting big and she should try and maintain shape before it gets out of control. Her response is that she ...
A. 6 December 2017: I get your issue. I was in a similar situation myself once. Although in my case, my then boyfriend was already fat when we started dating. And I don't mean that in an offensive way, just objectively he was fat. And he was becoming bigger. But the ... (read in full...)
How do you get over the first person you were sexual with?
Q. How do you get over the first person you were sexual with? I don't understand why I am so stuck on this. My first kiss was at 17, and he was also the first guy I ever touched or let touch me. However we did not have sex. I wasn't in a relationship ...
A. 6 December 2017: So the question is not how to get over the first person you were sexual with, the question is how to get over someone you still carry a torch for.
He moved away, so you never got to end things with him in a bad manner. You didn't argue and that... (read in full...)
Was my childhood strange?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles! I would really appreciate your help since I need some perspective on the relationship I had with my mom. I know she loved me and did the best she could, but I sometimes felt abandoned by her. She decided to have a ch...
A. 5 December 2017: " As we enter the Christmas season, we see endless commercials featuring what appear to be happy, well-adjusted and prosperous families that fit the ideal...kids with both parents and both sets of grandparents, everyone happy and healthy in their ... (read in full...)
Was my childhood strange?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles! I would really appreciate your help since I need some perspective on the relationship I had with my mom. I know she loved me and did the best she could, but I sometimes felt abandoned by her. She decided to have a ch...
A. 5 December 2017: Your childhood was strange by comparison to some societies (western societies). Compared to other societies, it was normal. It all is relative to who you compare yourself with. which is also part of how we define ourselves. To understand who we are, ... (read in full...)
Am I being over sensitive about this guy who keeps cancelling on me?
Q. Hey guys, I need a little advice on weather or not I handled something correctly.. So a few months ago I was working for a company and I became friends with my manager's younger brother who had just started working there the week I left. I left ...
A. 4 December 2017: I think you're being a pushover. Really. If he cancels on you several times and always at the last minute, leaving you hanging, it shows how blatantly little respect he has for you. Why on earth would you keep in touch with this guy, let alone ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother isn't accepting of my children and myself
Q. i met my boyfriend 6yrs ago I have 2 children from previous relationship and left their father due to domestic violence. We are happy and since meeting my boyfriend we have so much in common and my children love him like a dad. We met his mum and ...
A. 4 December 2017: Are you sure it's a big deal for your children to have "substitute grandparents" or if it isn't more an issue for you alone? Often we think that others need or care about the exact same as we do, when they in fact don't. I am sure she thought it was ... (read in full...)
Should I have an affair with a married man?
Q. This is going to make me sound like a horrible person... Maybe I am. I've been infatuated with this man for months. I can tell he doesn't care about me emotionally because once I say no to a booty call, he says good bye. I'm not going to lie, I'...
A. 3 December 2017: Stop meeting him. Goodness, there are other attractive men on this planet. Dont reduce yourself to being his dirty thing on the side, I dont care how horny you are. ... (read in full...)
I was a virgin, didn't bleed and now my husband says I wasn't a virgin
Q. It was totally my first intercourse, but i did'nt bleed....i only felt a very little pain...even my hubby said that i'm not virgin as my vagina is loose. He said my vagina is not like virgins have.... But It was my first time. Why it happens to...
A. 26 November 2017: I don't know what you can do about this, only that you must take care of yourself in this situation and not get taken advantage of or abused. Your husband, I am sorry, but is he someone who has been having lots of sex with virgins before? Otherwise, ... (read in full...)
Why has my boyfriend started lying about petty things?
Q. My boyfriend has started lying . Instead of wanting to see me this weekend he told me he was looking after a family member ( child under age 10 without the parents ) who was visiting . Yet i know that was a lie as i saw him walking around town on ...
A. 26 November 2017: I think instead of wanting to get him to admit lying to you, you should consider whether or not a man who lies to you is someone worth hanging on to.
Why waste another 5 months on someone who lies over petty things? If he wanted the weekend ... (read in full...)
Co-worker's stories make me green
Q. I have recently got a new job and long story short I noticed my other co-worker in my team gets 20k more (out salaries are visible because we work in hr and do the same job ) I must tell you I am trying to mind my own business but it bothers me - he ...
A. 24 November 2017: My advice is to keep your head down, work hard, and then pay attention to his faults. Be descreet. Then be sneaky and further down the line, suggest improvements to management that you know will reveal his shortcomings. Then, talk to your manager ... (read in full...)
Where would a 24 year old find a guy? What should I do to get a boyfriend?
Q. Hi aunties, I need some help. I'm 24 years old I've been single all my life, never been in a relationship and I've never been in love. I like to consider myself okay looking and I believe I have a good personality. However, I just can't seem ...
A. 24 November 2017: Youve never been in love. Not all people have the ability to fall in love, and some fall in love only rarely. That is why you have not "found" a guy. There are potential boyfriends all around you, but your brain isnt wired to see it. I think you ... (read in full...)
Any advice on Dear Cupid burn-out?
Q. I know I'm not the most active poster here and I'm not hoping that anyone would recognize me but I'm just gonna post this here for a message and maybe some advice. I'm thinking of leaving DearCupid for some time, all this posts about cheating...
A. 23 November 2017: I dont think its good to be paranoid about the future, but you should have your eyes open and be realistic. I see all these problems on dearcupid as warnings. Be aware that this and that might happen. Prepare for it mentally. Dont go into life, or ... (read in full...)
Lost my virginity to a man I don't know or like very much
Q. How do I cope? I recently lost my virginity to a guy I barely knew and i regret it so much.i don't feel innocent anymore. And the worst part of it is i lost to the wrong guy,i always assumed i would lose it to someone i loved so much and it would be ...
A. 23 November 2017: Ok, first off, you didnt lose anything. You gained an experience. Keep reminding yourself of this. "virginity" is a made up concept designed to control female sexuality. Do yourself the favour of not defining yourself by terminology designed to ... (read in full...)
How do you know when a gay guy is hitting on you?
Q. Hello,I would like to ask the about how does a man, know when a gay guy or bi,is hitting on you, I met this guy at a store the other night, we talked for about fifteen minutes, he really turned me on, he even touched me, am straight, but am bi ...
A. 23 November 2017: If he mentioned a girlfriend, then he wasnt hitting on you. Maybe an innocent flirt, but read the message: when someone wants to hook up, they will NOT bring up the girlfriend /boyfriend.... ... (read in full...)
I asked my co-worker out but she said she would think about it. How long before I ask her again?
Q. Ok so I asked a girl I work with out to have dinner with me. We have been working together for around 6--8 months. I know her pretty well, but not really well, but in the end I just thought "who cares, go for it". So I asked her and she said it ...
A. 22 November 2017: She turned you down, man. And then she didnt want any awkwardness as you work together, so tried to be polite and say shed think about it. That means no.... (read in full...)
Lost my virginity and I didn't even enjoy it but now I'm wondering if I could be pregnant
Q. I just lost my virginity, tbh it was painful and i never enjoyed it at all, according to my friend its because he never did foreplay. Even though i was not satisfied, apparently he was because he came on the inside of my thighs. The cum wasn't alot ...
A. 22 November 2017: Yes. You can get pregnant from having unprotected sex. Doesnt matter how long time he was inside, or if he came a lot or a litle. ... (read in full...)
I'm in a seemingly perfect relationship but part of me really wants to be single..
Q. I'm having a bit of a dilemma. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, since I was 17 and he was 16, and we really do love and care for each other. On paper, everything is great. We have had an amazing relationship, but lately I have been wanting ...
A. 22 November 2017: Write up a list of things you want to do as a single woman. I highly doubt your list will contain "have one night stands"
Then go do those things despite being in a relationship. Stop blocking yourself. Your relationship is not in the way of you f... (read in full...)
How do I tell potential dates that I do not engage in sex outside marriage vows?
Q. Hi I am going to start online dating . I don’t want to have sex before marriage . I am not virgin I was married before. Mostly folks respect your decision ( not sex before marriage) if you are virgin . If you are not virgin they don’t respect ...
A. 15 November 2017: I think you should wait with saying this until you are on a date. Or even better, wait until you have been on a few dates. In this time you will get to know the person, and the topic will come up in a more natural way.
In your profile you shou... (read in full...)
Should I tell my daughter about her biological father?
Q. This is a family question, my daughter doesn't know who her biological father is but from the time she was a baby my boy friend has been her dad and plans on adopting her. She knows that he's not her bio dad. Her bio dad had his rights terminated, ...
A. 15 November 2017: I don't think she will care. You can tell her who he is, but she will probably not feel a need to ever "get to know" her bio dad. She already has a father, your boyfriend. You don't miss what you don't have, and you surely never miss having a toxic ... (read in full...)
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