A
female
age
18-21,
*bauer
writes:I like this guy. I play tennis with him so I am around him pretty much all day every day especially because it's summer. He has shown lots of signs that he's into me but I guess I'm just scared to lose him as a friend if I get rejected. I want to ask him out, but I just don't know if he's looking for a relationship right now or is just super focused in tennis. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 June 2019):
 Dont ask him out directly, just ask to hang out. For example go for a milkshake together or get some lunch together. When you sit down with him, take the opportunity to get to know him better by asking what his plans are for summer/after summer, if he intends to continue with tennis, and whatnot. Just get to know him. Then if it comes up naturally, ask if he has a girlfriend or if there is anyone he is interested in. This is called testing the waters. You will find out if he is looking for more or not during the conversation. If he doesnt want to go with you for lunch/milkshake then you know he isnt interested in you. If he goes with you it still might be just as a friend, so you will need to talk and ask questions.
Then, if you do find out he is single, interested in finding a girlfriend and perhaps even likes you, you can ask him out. If you are inconclusive, just ask to go for a coffe or something again later and continue getting to know him. Through casual «dates», you will figure this out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2019): You don't have to word it like asking him out on a date. You can simply ask him if he wants to grab ice cream or go on a walk after tennis. If things seem positive, then you can ask him if wants to grab lunch or a movie on the weekend (or whatever day you don't have tennis).
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (14 June 2019):
 All I’ll add to what the others have said is that many people in their 20s and up still have friends from when they were teenagers, but very few are still with the boyfriends/girlfriends they had as teenagers.
If you value your friendship more than your crush on him, you can let go of the crush. That said, maybe you won’t stay friends forever anyway and you might as well try age-appropriate dating, if he wants to.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (14 June 2019):
 As you can't be playing tennis "all day every day", what do you two talk about when you are NOT playing tennis? You must take breaks. What's the topic of conversation?
Casually ask him what he does in the evenings or when he is NOT playing tennis. Suggest a coffee after a day of tennis. Perhaps he too is wondering whether YOU are just "super focused" on tennis or whether you would be interested in going out with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2019): Stop and think carefully. What signs have you seen that he's into you? If that's true, what are you waiting for? What does he have to do other than all those signs he's shown you that he likes you?
Are you sure that is the case, or is it wishful-thinking? He can be nice to you and enjoy playing tennis, and just being a friend. If he's giving you all those signs as you claim, it ought to be easy.
If he's your age, between 16-17, he doesn't exactly know what a relationship is. Guys will hint at liking you, or they'll flirt. If he hasn't asked you out, maybe you're misreading all the signs.
If you're certain there are signs and signals that he likes you; then stop messing around and ask him if he wants to take you out. He may be really into his tennis and avoiding any distractions, maybe he just hasn't been very direct.
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