| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Is my boyfriend's behaviour normal? He's admitted to going really strange sexual things relating to the girl he liked!
Q. Hello. I’m starting to become a little bit freaked out by my partner. I just wanted to know how “normal” this was. He’s a normal man, hardworking, provides for the family, kind, caring and loving. He hasnt had many girlfriends in the past due to ...
A. 29 January 2019: Its a well known fetish to get aroused by hearing, seeing or even spying on someone else having sex. Its actually one of my own top three sexual fantasies. So it doesnt at all sound like its about her, to me. Its a fetish of his. And rather than ... (read in full...)
New friendship w/ someone I met from a reality show
Q. Ok... I'm so confused. I am currently engaged. Not the best relationship by any means, but I am engaged and hoping for it to get better after a big move happens to get away from his insane and cruel family who hurt us pretty bad. Oddly en...
A. 27 January 2019: I dont get what your question is. You are engaged in a crappy relationship, yet are fine with getting dick pics and talking about sex with this cheating man. And then you think HE is sending mixed signals? Look, you are the one mixing it up here, ... (read in full...)
How is affection, spending time with someone or making sure your spouses needs are being taken care of, so many “things” to do for your wife that it would exclude her/me from the right to intimacy?
Q. I am currently three years into my second marriage. I have had successfull sexual relationships in the past. I have never ever experienced what I am currently experiencing so my question is two fold. 1. Is this a reasonable/healthy relationship? 2. ...
A. 27 January 2019: This isnt right. You are treated wrong. Both financially and sexually. I wish you good luck in changing your life situation. Why did you marry him? ... (read in full...)
I’m sad and lonely and find myself masturbating too much. Any advice?
Q. ive just turned 30 and I've been sad and alone recently. Every time i asked a girl out either: they're gay, not dating "right now", or see me better as a friend. recently things in my life haven't been going well. personal failures and lif...
A. 22 January 2019: Do you want to stop masturbating? Easy, you just stop. Do you want to stop being horny all the time? Don't think you can. Apparently, this is what your body just wants right now. Good news though! If you're depressed, the sex drive is usually the ... (read in full...)
He just revealed his new relationship! How do I get over feeling that I am not enough?
Q. I met someone about a year ago, it’s been mainly casual and on and off due to different things, (his and my insecurities, me seeing someone in the time we weren’t in touch) anyway we got back in touch and it was going so well, I even for the first ...
A. 22 January 2019: Its not about being enough, or perfect, or amazing. Its about compatability. Not everyone is a good match with everyone else. You and him were not a good match, that is all.... (read in full...)
She’s become obsessed with getting a visa and I feel neglected!
Q. Hi everyone I lived with my girlfriend for 2 years and everything was great, then she had to leave the country and we've been long distance for 1 year. She has decided we should get married so i can get her sponsored to come here. The problem is, ...
A. 20 January 2019: I think you and her need some time together in person. Long distance is hard. If she has a difficult time visiting you, you should go visit her. Spend that quality time together in person. I am thinking this ldr is taking a toll on her too, which is ... (read in full...)
My partner is unhappy with his job and I don't know how to help him
Q. My partner has been feeling unhappy with his position at work. He feels it is beneath his skill set. He’s been looking for something different but hasn’t found anything in town that turns his crank yet. His boss can see he works hard and will ...
A. 20 January 2019: My advice: dont allow him to complain to you about it. You know how he feels. If there is anything new to the situation, he can tell you. Otherwise all that will happen is that he will complain and complain and never find another jobb. Men dont want ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my married lover for baby?
Q. So I have been seeing a man who lives with his common law wife and thier 2 kids.When we met he told me that he was in process of leaving her but now almost 2 years later he still lives at home and he won t see me outside his work hours. Anyways, ...
A. 20 January 2019: Sure, ask him. But have you considered having a baby with another man instead? Men who are already married with two kids, will not be able to provide for you. Babies cost money. Also, the child will not be able to live with or bond with its father. ... (read in full...)
Can we get married in a church if neither of us are religious?
Q. My fiancee and I would like to get married in a church, however neither of us are religious. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this? Neither of our families are religious either. We have come across many churches locally and while ...
A. 18 January 2019: PPS, I wonder if non-believers arent a tad more demanding of respect for the church than believers are. At all the churches/house of worship I have been at, you are most welcome no matter your personal belief. Some just attend for the sake of ... (read in full...)
Can we get married in a church if neither of us are religious?
Q. My fiancee and I would like to get married in a church, however neither of us are religious. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this? Neither of our families are religious either. We have come across many churches locally and while ...
A. 18 January 2019: PS, Im religious.... (read in full...)
Can we get married in a church if neither of us are religious?
Q. My fiancee and I would like to get married in a church, however neither of us are religious. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this? Neither of our families are religious either. We have come across many churches locally and while ...
A. 18 January 2019: If its an orthodox church, then dont. But I dont think they would allow it anyway.
If its a liberal church, sure, why not? I mean as long as you dont mind the religious setting, images, texts and hymns, then they probably wont mind that neit... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend of 8 years because he wouldn't commit but now I'm feeling very down
Q. I’m feeling really lonely and fed up since splitting from my boyfriend 6 weeks ago. We were together for 8 years. Basically I split from him because I know he will never commit to me and I got tired of waiting. In the end I felt like i’d fallen ...
A. 18 January 2019: It takes more than 6 weeks to get over someone, usually. It helps to remember you dont grieve the loss of him, actually, you are grieving the loss of the dream that he would commit.
Give it 3-4 months. You will feel much better then. And get a hair... (read in full...)
Should I resign from my job because I’m being bullied?
Q. I’ve worked for a company for five years and enjoy my job. however a female co worker who is at the same company as me, doesn’t like me and is doing everything she can to make feel miserable. she has also back stabbed me a few times and has even ...
A. 17 January 2019: Management will not laugh in your face. You need to talk to management and let them confront her with her bullying. You should not have to confront her. Some people are just cruel. Im sure you havent done anything wrong, she is just a wicked person. ... (read in full...)
How can we get married when my LDR man doesn't get a job?
Q. I have met a wonderful guy, it's been 15 months in our relationship, I have introduced him to my family, they accepted him, I haven't met his family yet because we live in different countries, we met through a friend, he is a good man, problem is, ...
A. 15 January 2019: Yeah, dont be his sugar mama. No more paying and definitely no marriage. If he does not want to get his finances in order, I dont think he is husband-material.... (read in full...)
I think my step daughter is selling nude photos of herself. How do I bring this up to her father?
Q. My husbands adult daughter can't seem to hold down a job she also has anxiety issues. I have been told she is selling nude pictures of herself online and I don't know what to do? I think she will deny it if I ask her and tell her father I am making ...
A. 15 January 2019: Excuse me, but who is the source who told you she is selling pictures of herself? Im highly sceptical of this. She is an adult now, I say leave her alone.... (read in full...)
Is she The One?
Q. Okies, I really need your help with this one. I want to make this the year I sort this out. So, I have known my female friend for 10+ years and I liked her from early on. We have lived together even shared the same bed (platonically) a...
A. 15 January 2019: You want more than friends. She does not. So yes, you need to leave the friendship. You have to tell her you want more, and that this friendship is not good for you. Tell her she can contact you if she, at some point, wants to date you and explore a ... (read in full...)
How to impress a woman on a Speed Dating event
Q. This question is mainly for men but the ladies can chime in as well. If you meet a woman for the first time and have only 5 minutes to talk what will you ask or say to her that would leave an impression on her? I am asking this because I go ...
A. 13 January 2019: I also have to react to why this is a question for men. Its women you try to impress, not men, right? So a womansanswer should be welcomed. I also agree with the other poster here. Ask about something you actually want to know, and formulate those ... (read in full...)
I can’t help longing for my beautiful ex, and it’s ruining my chances of starting a new relationship!
Q. Some time ago I got out of a long relationship (7 years, the only serious relationship I have had) after she moved away for grad school, and now I am trying to move on by going on some dates (but no second dates). My ex was beautiful. Maybe not a ...
A. 12 January 2019: Nah. Be shallow. We are all shallow. Thats the truth. But it is fully possible to be both shallow and apprechiate good qualities in a person. Once you meet a woman with a spark in her eye, who makes you laugh and is sexy, you will learn that she too ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend sexted a guy she knew from a dating site: Is it cheating?
Q. My girlfriend of 7 months who is 8yrs older than me have split up because I caught her Whatsapping a guy who she met on a dating website (where we met each other) recently and what turned from friendly chat, became sexting. It turns out she ha...
A. 10 January 2019: You were both in the wrong. Next time, if you have strong suspicions like this, end the relationship. No point in lowering yourself to snooping. Just end it. A good and healthy relationship will never make you doubt (unless you have jealousy issues, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won’t stop lying to me
Q. Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 months. He just turned 19 and he goes to college 5 hours away. This isn’t a problem we started dating Way before he started college and he didn’t plan on picking a school that far away but we make it ...
A. 9 January 2019: Girl, I get that you love him and all, but this is a deal breaker. You can not change a person or make him stop lying!! He will always, aaalways do this to you. Always. Thats why its called a deal breaker. For now he lied about gifts. Next he will ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my coworker's crazy girlfriend?
Q. First off, I know I probably can't do much if anything about this, but I thought I would ask for advice anyway. Background: Recently I organized a secret gift swap for the holidays at my new job. I got my assistant manager, who is around the sa...
A. 8 January 2019: Just block her and dont have an open profile.... (read in full...)
Should I delay IVF-treamtment, in order to get married in my dream dress?
Q. My boyfriend and I are engaged to be married in 6 months. We have been trying for a baby for close to 2 years now. Last year, we underwent a fertility check as we didn't manage to get pregnant. Turns out he's got low sperm quality and I have ...
A. 7 January 2019: Honeypie, thank you for your answer. As I already did buy a dress, suggesting that I get a cheaper one wouldn't do me any good :p But as it stands, I bought a used dress worth about 2200 USD for 430 USD. That's the skinny dress. My "preggo" dress so ... (read in full...)
My husband and his friend have a strange relationship. Is this a cultural thing or bisexual thing?
Q. Hello I have been with my husband for two years. He is good to me and treats me well. We have culture differences and maybe that's what I am trying to understand. He has alot of friends but one is very close to him. If his Male friend joke...
A. 6 January 2019: It would help to know what culture they are from and what culture you are from.
But generally speaking, culture isn't as much involved in this I think, as just their upbringing and matter of time they have been friends.
If they have been friend... (read in full...)
How do introverts and those living with social anxiety make friends?
Q. So I haven't posted on here before, and I guess I'm just hoping for some ideas or thoughts on how to make friends when you have social anxiety. This is a bit long-winded, so please bear with me, but I wanted you to get a bit of an idea about my ...
A. 4 January 2019: PS. Online friends are great too. They can often be the most fun for people like you and me, because you can stay at home while interacting. You dont always have to answer timely or focus on facial expression, tone of voice etc when you're just ... (read in full...)
How do introverts and those living with social anxiety make friends?
Q. So I haven't posted on here before, and I guess I'm just hoping for some ideas or thoughts on how to make friends when you have social anxiety. This is a bit long-winded, so please bear with me, but I wanted you to get a bit of an idea about my ...
A. 4 January 2019: Hi. I read Your Whole story. What I can tell you is that it would probably help you to get professional help. I am, as it happens, friends with a woman with social anxiety, and she said it helped her a lot to get Professional help. She was almost ... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex with a friend and now I am worried
Q. I had unprotected sex with a friend . I don’t know what I was thinking but I’m so worried now. I thought he had a condom but I got carried away when he said he doesn’t . I had to ask him after a couple of days and he said he doesn’t have any...
A. 3 January 2019: Hiv takes about two week to a month to show on test. And thats about it. All else can be tested for within this time, and if you are clean, then you are clean. Doesnt mean he does not have any sti’s, just that he did not pass any on to you. You did ... (read in full...)
He told me to set a date to marry and now he's ignoring it
Q. My boyfriend told me in October to " set a date" and he'd "show up". I'm afraid to do this. 20 years ago we were engaged and broke up and have reunited years later. I just don't trust. We are 45 and live in different states. He does have M.S., ...
A. 3 January 2019: Why marry when you dont live together? Tax benefits? I am quite sure your finances are better off without marrying him. Seeing as how he isnt well. He isnt well enough to bother about marrying you. Take it as a sign you better not. He doesnt sound ... (read in full...)
My partner shouts at my 4 year daughter. How do I get him to stop?
Q. Hi I have a partner and 2 children my oldest child is from a previous relationship he works through the day he comes home I go to work my son who is the oldest tells me that his dad shouts at our daughter and tells her to shut up I have mentioned ...
A. 3 January 2019: Walk away from the relationship. If its so bad your son feels a need to protest his sister, then listen.
Ask your girl. Does «daddy» get angry with her? What happens then? How does she feel when this happens. Just ask her, and help her with the ... (read in full...)
A stranger offered herself to me to help me lose my virginity. Do I accept?
Q. I will be 20 very soon and am still a virgin. I have tried to date probably more than a hundred women and have always been rejected. I have contemplated visiting an escort but don't want to lose my dignity doing so. Out of a whim I posted an ad o...
A. 3 January 2019: What do you actually want? I think you arent sure about it. And a good rule of thumb: when in doubt, dont buy. Im sure she is a lovely lady, but shes not the one, or something else about this arrangement dosent sit right with you. Trust your gut on ... (read in full...)
I feel like the laughing stock because I want boundaries
Q. I'm wondering if this situation is worth breaking up over. Right now we're on the brinks because I'm mad about it. The guy I've been seeing for almost a year now is a hippie, I'm not, though i like to party with hippies sometimes. We had a brief ...
A. 1 January 2019: "he said he's not cutting off his backup supply of pu**y if I'm not sure about ushe said he's not cutting off his backup supply of pu**y if I'm not sure about us"
Or, him not cutting off his supply of p***y means hes not sure about the two of y... (read in full...)
How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend?
Q. I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming. When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was chea...
A. 29 December 2018: Everyone are writing that his parents have a right to be concerned and so on. I dont agree that this consern also gives a right to critizice. He is an adult, and the time for parents meddling and overprotecting is over. I also dont agree that he is ... (read in full...)
My new job demands much more of my time! Any advice?
Q. Three weeks ago I started a job in my career path that I’ve been praying for for a long time now. Great location for me, benefits, union, pay is good, the whole nine yards. I feel so overwhelming blessed for me and my family. The only downside to ...
A. 29 December 2018: Its been only three weeks, way too little time to determine anything. Give the job 6 months. Then re-evaluate. But if its a full time job, that means you get two days off in the week if you work the weekend. So it will be the same amount of work ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to second guess yourself about a relationship?
Q. Over the last few years, I've grown closer to one of my long distance guy friends. Our friendship started heading towards dating but at the end of last year, he expressed reluctance to upgrading this because he thought we were too different. I was ...
A. 28 December 2018: Very late answer, and Im sure you made a decision already. But its quite possible to combine head and heart in this matter. Yes, differences will make things difficult, but only if they are core differences. Passion makes up for lots also. Usually, ... (read in full...)
My friend has gotten himself involved with a bad girl and I want to help him but unsure what to do
Q. I'm worried about a guy friend as he's got himself involved with a girl who is bad news. Hes started distancing himself from everyone who's warning him and is distancing himself from close friends She's a complete bitch sorry to say - take a mon...
A. 28 December 2018: PS. The worst you can do is actually telling him to leave her. Because then he loses his pride if he actually leaves her; it will just be him doing whatever you say, making him your puppy on a leash. And what man wants to be that?
If you tell him... (read in full...)
My friend has gotten himself involved with a bad girl and I want to help him but unsure what to do
Q. I'm worried about a guy friend as he's got himself involved with a girl who is bad news. Hes started distancing himself from everyone who's warning him and is distancing himself from close friends She's a complete bitch sorry to say - take a mon...
A. 28 December 2018: Oh, you don't want him to take orders from the "bitch", but you and your friends are happy to command him what to do with his life?
How do you ever expect him to grow a backbone and independence and self worth if all his friends come "to the resc... (read in full...)
We had a fight my children's present are at my boyfriend's house and he won't let me get them
Q. My boyfriend ruins every Christmas and I don't know what to do. We went last minute shopping today which was his idea. In a supermarket he said he needed the toilet so I decided to cash in a scratch card while I was waiting. The till is right by...
A. 28 December 2018: This man is not right in the head. He has mental problems. I've seen this exact behavior before, and it has always been rooted in mental Health problems like personality disorders or other serious conditions. So let me tell you I am 100% positive ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend regifted a present he had given to his ex
Q. My new bf gave me a regifted present! A mutual friend sent me a pic of his ex wearing this exact bracelet i received. Im so hurt and offended. I thought this person loved me. Who does such a thing? I am gutted. ...
A. 28 December 2018: Im speachless. This is just dumb of him. It doesnt take much social skills to understand that this is not appropriate. So unless he's on the autism spectrum, I would take it for what it is: an offense. That's what you're worth to him: left over from ... (read in full...)
My ex saw my hairy nipples! Is that enough to end years of great sex?
Q. The other night I ran into my ex while drunk and went home with him. It was spontaneous and so I didn’t have time to “prepare” myself for him.. I didn’t sleep with him that night (although he tried, persistently) but everything seemed as it was...
A. 28 December 2018: How hairy is hairy? Do you resemble a grizzly bear? Or is there just a hair here and there?
Look, if he couldn't feel your hairy nipples while you snuggled (not sex, but you were naked together?), then he probably couldn't see/wouldn't be bothe... (read in full...)
He constantly needs reassuring and I am being turned off by it!
Q. Hi so I started seeing a guy about a month ago, he is lovely but lives like 400 miles away! I really fell for him, and him me, but he seems borderline obsessed with me, he got me presents for Xmas very sweet I thought, but he is very insecure and ...
A. 28 December 2018: Uh-oh. No, he wont get better. This tendency of his is something that usually becomes worse the more time you give it, not better. This isn't clingy, this is obsession and control. I had a clingy boyfriend once, but he only had a need to be around ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lied about moving overseas to keep sleeping with me
Q. My Boyfriend and I broke up I'm very depressed this Christmas we had been together for a year with a 2 month breakup in between because he refused to tell anyone about me... He claims to be private I took him back because I don't believe he was ...
A. 28 December 2018: Look, this man was never your boyfriend. He wanted to go to Korea precicely to be able to say you should end things. You can't cry and make a man committ to you. He was quite clear from day 1 when not telling anyone about you, that you're not his ... (read in full...)
My profile was on a dating app...
Q. I have a long term partner of many years , with whom I'm really happy. About a year ago we were chatting in bed about dating in general, and how hard it must be to meet someone suitable, etc.We'd just been watching one of our favorite TV programs...
A. 22 August 2018: No, dont make fuzz about it. You removed it once someone informed you. No harm done. If someone tells your wife, and she confronts you, then inform her of the details. Its no big deal, so dont act like it is a big deal. If you make a huge fuzz about ... (read in full...)
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