A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Am a girl of 26 married with two kids.My husband traveled out of the country a year and 5 months now I don't know when he will be coming back. The problem is that am feeling lonely and horny, many guys do comes around to have sex with me, which i never wanted because i want 2 keep myself for my husband.The thing is that am starting to like one guy and having feelings for him. Should i go for him or should i keep waiting for my husband?But who knows when he will be coming back. Help please?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 October 2012):
 I don't know where this lady's husband went and to do what, so mine is just a wild guess, but I have an idea about what the situation could be.
We have many immigrants from Ghana here ( and in other European countries too ).
Most of them came here illegally, paying a huge fee to an intermediary, so won't be back for many years - even 5,7, or more- since once they are out of the country ,for coming back a second time, they 'd have to face the expenses, and the huge risk , all over again, with no guarantee of succeeding again in entering illegally..
Also the legal ones, though, don't go home often- maybe evry 3 years or so- because the trip is expensive and the ticket money is best employed being sent to their families at home, where what here is just a hanful of banknotes which won't carry anybody that far, can instead really make a big difference.
That's a very hard lifestyle to adopt, some time these men really have no other choices if they want to support their families, other times it's a bit of naivety and juvenile enthusiasm for " adventure " that makes them underrate what being apart from their family really means.
It also means that not all wives can or want to wait for such a long time, and I don't feel like blaming them, it takes a special kind of love and a special kind of courage to face all that.
But if you don't have what it takes to support his choice, tell him and divorce him. He'll get over it, and make himself a new life, and so will you. But if he is abroad mostly to make money for his kids - and for you, he has the right to know what's going on. Keeping him in the dark is despicable and cruel.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): If you are horny masturbate. Problem solved.
If you think you love someone else that is another story. But it is more respectful to leave your husband before you start another relationship.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (31 October 2012):
 You took a vow with your husband and promised to be faithful to him in sickness and in health. You need to respect and honor those vows by staying away from other men, especially those that seem too tempting. If you didn't plan to be faithful to your husband, you should not have gotten married.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (30 October 2012):
 I'm a bit confused on the situation. Do you communicate with him or is he completely out of the picture? Do you know for sure he is coming back or is there a chance that he never will?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 October 2012):
 do not cheat.
if your husband is gone nearly 18 months when is he coming back... if you have regular contact with him and the marriage is still good then you must wait...
if the marriage is bad then divorce him....
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (30 October 2012):
 My Advice would be to refrain from cheating, being unfaithful is never a good idea in any way shape or form. I understand that you are sexualy frustrated, but a moment of unfaithfulness no matter how good it was could mark the end of the marriage if your husband ever found out. Maybe your husband is having the same feelings as you, would you want him to be contemplating being unfaithful to you?.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012): Please don't do such stupid things. Your husband is out of the country working so hard for you and your kids. I was shocked to see your question.How can you think like this? Control your emotions. Don't let your husband to lose his trust on you. You cannot hide such things for longer. One or the other day truth will come out. Then how will you show ur face to ur husband and kids? Try to spend your time doing good things but don’t think of other guys. Start a blog with your recipes if you know cooking, otherwise develop some other hobby which you are interested. Then you will not have time to think of other guys. Respect your customs and husband.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (30 October 2012):
 HI
I can understand your frustration, BUT I would advise you NOT to cheat on your husband reguardless of how long he has been away. If your feeling that lonely and "horny" then maybe you should get intouch with your husband and explain to him how his lack of communication is making you depressed and wanting to move on . If he has gone over to a different country to make money to send home for you and your children to live a good life then he will be extremely angry to find out you have cheated whilst he worked hard for you all. Sex is not THAT great to loose your husband for is it?? Ask your husband when he plans on coming home, if he still says he don't know then maybe tell him you want a divorce if you can't handle it any more. but DON'T cheat.
Good luck
Mandy x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012): Why is your husband out of the country?
For work?
Has he simply left you, but because you're still married you feel like you're being unfaithful if you have sex with other men?
Is he visiting family members and plans to return at some point?
Don't you both keep in contact and communicate about your lives?
Little more info would be a help...
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