A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend hung out with an ex girlfriend a few different times while he was visiting home and didn't tell me about it. I found out a few weeks later because I was snooping through his texts. I felt so guilty about snooping that I confronted him about the whole situation. I was upset that he never mentioned visiting with her. In our relationship, he has always been one to tell me all of the details, including who he is hanging out with and his plans, etc... so it was so odd that this didn't come up. His justification was he didn't think we'd ever cross paths so it wasn't important to tell me. He also said that she is completely part of his past and has nothing to do with who he is now so I'm confused as to why he continues to stay in touch with her if she is just his past. I'm very sure it was all innocent but I'm just so upset that he went behind my back. How am I supposed to handle this situation? He said he is probably going to see her in a few weeks again but isn't interested in us meeting. I don't think its okay to stay in contact with an ex. I think its inappropriate to the current relationship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2012): He is being selective in what he tells you. You are being kept on a `need to know` basis. He only tells you what he decided you need to know. He sounds rather shady saying he didnt tell you he had hooked up with his ex because he thought you two would never meet. That begs the question, what else doesnt he tell you because he thinks you will never find out. Not wanting you to meet her, secret texts and arranging to see her again, things dont sound too good. You could ask him not to see her but as it has been proven he can keep the truth from you, how would you ever know if he kept his word to you or not. It all boils down to trust and if you dont trust him, you might be better off without him.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (14 November 2012):
 I doubt it was as innocent as you described. Otherwise why would he hide or omit the details? Maybe next time he goes home, why not go along? Why give him the perfect opportunity to screw around with an ex simply because he thinks you won't cross paths and find out?
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (13 November 2012):
 I think that you should lay it out simply for him. Her or you. If you ask me...the fact that he hid his contact with her from you shows that HE knows he is doing something wrong! And also the fact that he is meeting with her in a few weeks and won't introduce his new girl is just too much. Give it to him straight... if you don't he know that he can have 2 women in his life and its ok. xx
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