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Long term boyfriend looking up ex girlfriend on facebook!?

Tagged as: Cheating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 October 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 October 2012)
A female Portugal age 26-29, *am_fma3 writes:

I know this may seem dumb but I need some advice on how to deal with this.

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years planning our marriage now. he is my first.

from the beginning I knew he had an ex. nothing special from what he told me.

now after 5 years I found out he had another ex. we share the same computer and I went to the history to check the name of an old friends facebook I saw the other day. I came across a name of a girl I didn't know looked at many times in the history. I went on his facebook (we have each other passes, I have never went in through, this was my first time) I typed her name and it came up first in the list. that means he looks at it quite a bit because they aren't even friends on facebook.

I asked him. he told me it was an ex. he dated for month nothing special. he told me he never told me about her because it was kinda of a fling. she was thinking of her ex when she was with him so he dumped her.

I don't understand that if it was nothing special why the need to look at her facebook page so often? why did he not tell me about her. What was there to hide?

I guess I feel threatened because she lives close to us and in a way i guess he still thinks of her by looking at her facebook.

btw he has no contact with her.

Why the need to check her facebook so often? Once or twice I can understand, but checking up on her once in a while. I don't get it! Help!

View related questions: ex girlfriend, facebook, her ex

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntBetter keep a close eye on him and look for strange gaps in his day when he can't be found; when he doesn't go to work or disappears for too many 'nights out with the guys'. Luckily you know where she lives. He's not telling you the whole story. Better check his phone too from time to time.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012):

Do they have mutual facebook friends? That may be the reason she pops up first under the search, it always does

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012):

i agree with the above you need to make sure that you 100% trust him before commiting to marriage, there is nothing we can tell you the only person that knows the reason will be your fiancee you need to talk to him

i have looked up my ex on facebook but i have no feelings for him im in love with my current boyfriend very much he just entered my mind and I was being nosy, maybe that is the case with him, facebook can be poison if there is no trust in a relationship or if there are any insecurities

i dated a guy for a week and he was a right player but sometimes i look at his profile just an habit on facebook, you sometimes type a name for someone else and a person from your past just pops up and its difficult not be nosy, well for me it is lol

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012):

A couple of times I would feel was curiosity but the way you implied is much more than that.. I would say he's thinking about contacting hence him looking at her.

If I was you, I would put hold to the wedding at the min.. And sit him down and talk about whether he's having second thoughts at taking the plunge, he may feel his freedom about to be given up, etc all the normal crap men say when they want to sow their oats and have their cake and eat it..

I'd talk it through and if need be I'd hold back with the wedding plans..

Take care

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