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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi,I am very embarrassed about a rendez vous I had with my ex. You see, we broke up a year ago, and since then I have realised that I was mad about this guy, but just wasn't ready at the time. We both are single now, so I arranged to meet him, and poured out my heart. He was not expecting this at all. I told him I was really sorry for the way I had treated him, ( I wasn't mean to him, but I just wasn't commited to him, and our relationship, which lasted a year, was kind of on off all the time...mostly my doing!) Anyhow, I proceeded to get really upset, told him that I was very jealous when he met a new girl, but that when I saw them together I could see that he was happy so I left things be...as I cared about him so much, his happiness was NB to me. I also told him that I really couldn't be friends with him when he was with her, as I didn't want to hear about her. I also told him I broke up with another guy, because I kept thinking of him.Since my ex broke up with his new girl, he has been emailing me a bit being quite flirtatious, to which I eventually organised to meet him and reveal my true feelings. He said that he had some great memories of us but there were also some really bad memories, and that he will compare all girls to me from now on. He also admitted that he really wanted to feel loved, thats why he moved on from me so quickly. It felt really good to be honest, and I really felt we had such a conection. Just before we parted I asked him did he ever think about us again, as we get on really well. He said that we'd never be friends if it didn't work out. I proceeded to say that we did have issues alright, but we do get on well, and I left it at that, I just couldn't bring myself o say that I really wanted to give it another try. Then we hugged and said goodbye. I felt really happy after out chat, and our honesty, and he actually said that I really had gone up in his estimations. All was fine, until the following weekend, my friend saw him at the cinema with another girl....a girl i had seen him with two weeks previously in a bar, which looked like a date. I was so upset, because he had told me he was single, BEFORE i opened my heart to him (as if he had met someone before I had organised to meet him, I wouldn't have said a word!). I felt so betrayed as I was so honest with him, and if he had met someone new, the decent thing would have been to have told me..before I made a fool out of myself. At our last meeting, he promised me a piece of furniture, but of course I haven't seen or heard from him since. My friend firmly believes he is still into me by the way he looks at me...maybe its time I just move on. Part of me feels that if I really wanted him, I'd have to be the one to instigate it, but am I just fooling myself?
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female
reader, juliagulia  +, writes (3 March 2006):
 Just because you saw him with someone does not mean he is not single. It could be a casual date, which does not constitute a relationship, or it could be a friend and nothing more. Either way, you have made your feelings known. I don't think asking him for another try was necessary because you made it pretty clear that you still had serious feelings. That in itself should make it pretty obvious that you would like another go at it. The ball is in his court now, so all you can really do is hang back and see what happens. If he wants to be friends, you could try that out for a while, but if it is too painful for you, then I suggest that you reiterate to him that you care for him very much and want nothing but the best for him, but it is too difficult to be friends with him because you want more than that. If he doesn't want to try again and you can't be just friends, then it is best to try to move on. Spend some time alone and find some new hobbies to take your mind off things. Good luck!
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (3 March 2006):
 You broke up with him, he got hurt, he moved on and now you want him back, well looks like he likes the idea of having you in his life but not the reality.
My guess is that he would preffer it if you were friends this way it is casual and if the two of you do get closer in time it will be for the right reasons.
Maybe he was single when you opened up your heart to him, maybe he is just casual dating and so has no fixed girlfriend and possibly he does not want one.
You have laid your heart open and cards on the table so he is in no doubts about how you feel about him, what he has to do is digest this and work out how if at all he feels about you, then let him make the first move.
Friends would really be the way to go for the time being.
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