A
female
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*uliagulia
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months. He says he loves me and buys me flowers all the time, but he keeps saying he is coming over and doesn't show up until two hours later. Last night he did it again and I went to the bar to have a drink and my friends said he had just left! I have talked to him about this before and he told me he would be more considerate, but that hasn't happened. Should I break up with him?
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female
reader, MarthaZ +, writes (4 March 2006):
 My very close friend of mine is going through a similar situation as you (although she's been with him for 4 years). She feels the only way for the two of them to get over this issue is for him to realise that he has a problem. He's nearly there but not quite. But he does know that their relationship was deterioating because of his drinking so she's more hopefully of their relationship.Your boyfriend needs to realise that his drinking problem is seriously affecting your relationship and by giving you flowers aren't going to improve the situation. It will require patience and hard work but if you believe this relationship could go somewhere, I believe it's worth the effort and support.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2006): Forgot to sign in SMEEDLE here:- Now that you tell me the whole tale, I agree with you when you say you want to move on and not stay with him.Being with someone with a seriouse drink problem is very difficult and painful for both parties, you have to be a very special person to stay with someone who seriously drinks as it rips you and your relationship apart, both my parents drank heavily and It damaged the whole family and each other.I will not have a relationship with anyone who either drinks heavily or takes drugs as ive had my share of pain through addiction early on, as a child I could not choose to stay or go, as an adult I can.No one will blame you for just walking on by.
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A
female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (3 March 2006):
juliagulia is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, I asked him about it, but he said he was mad at me because he thought I was "cooler than that" and that is just the way he is, etc. He kind of tried to turn it back around on me. I asked him if he was an alcoholic and he said yes. At that point, I decided it was better to move on because it was clear that he did not even understand why I was upset, therefore he didn't intend to do much about it. And I don't think I want to date someone with a serious drinking problem. So I guess that is just the way it goes...
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (3 March 2006):
 No, just get a grip of him and tell him straight that you are pissed off at him being late, some people are just late by nature and have little or no concept of time, my sister is like this, if I want to meet her at a resturant and table is booked for 8 I will tell her to be there 7.30 this way she is nearly on time.
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A
female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (3 March 2006):
 well i dont know about this one, it really depends what he was doing at the bar, for example maybe he was so late showing up to your house is because he had been at the bar and had way too much to drink and had to sober up abit b4 he could drive, that sorta thing is ok but say he was only going to aviod you or chatting up other girls then maybe id look at dumping him, i would ask your friends or ask him why he was so late, maybe he just forgot to look at his watch.i dont think that you should leave him over something so minor, there are lots more men out there doing far worse then that to there women so i think you should be happy and not worry, and just be happy that his atleast coming over to see you, maybe just explain to him that you are some what dispointed that he has not made the effort to be on time when he said he would, im sure he will pull his finger out when he understands that it bothers you and im sure he will try abit harder next time, but really what man is ever on time? i dont know one lol ;)
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