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My girlfriend has never said she loves me!

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Question - (5 March 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 7 September 2009)
A male , anonymous writes:


Me and my girlfriend are both 19 and have been going out for 2 months now. I really love her and have told her many times. Though, she has never once said it back to me, which can get me down sometimes. I would jsut like to hear the three words.

She was wrinting a txt message the other day, to a good female friend of hers. At the end of the message she wrote 'love you' and i asked her in a joking way 'how come you never say that im text messages to me?' to which she replied, 'but i do love name'

I know she does really like me, but i would just like to hear a 'confirmation' of that really. Sounds weird but i like to be reasured?

Does it take longer for some girls to fall in love? Could she be confused as to whether she does actually love me yet??


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A male reader, Hymie United States +, writes (7 September 2009):

2 months aint S#!t.

Your still in the lust stage. If you dont hear it from her in 6 months, move on. MCRmory said he has not heard his girl say it for over 2 years. He gotta dump her and run!

Trust me. 21 + years lying to myself that she "loved" me even though she only said it a few times, and then it was only after I bagered her!! 21+ years lost out of my life. Yea, I'm bitter, espically after the whore went to another mans bed.

AND NO, I aint perfect, FAR from it. Take the advice of someone who has been there. If she {or he} wont tell you that they love you after 5 to 6 months, your only in the relationship for the sex. Get out of it and find someone else.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009):

I've been with a girl for 6 months and I have the same problem. She says she cares about me alot but is insure if she loves me. I'm not sure what to do really. We both get along really well and everything is great but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking maybe she see's me too much as a friend rather than a boyfriend. I don't know whether to stay with it and see if anything changes or to call it quits. It seems a shame to do that though seeing as the only problem is one word. But I guess that one word is kind of a vital aspect of a relationship.

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A male reader, MCRmory United States +, writes (11 August 2009):

ur lucky, sure i'm posting this one late compared to all this and stuff, but i've been looking for advise cuz i have the same problem but me and my girlfriend have been together for over 2 years and 3 months and she's only said "i love you" a few times, but she usually says it when she hears something happened between one of her friends and her friends' bfs and shit, so basically she only says it when she's upset or sad or upset or feeling bad and feelings like that, so besides the times she's done that, within the entire time we've together she's only said "i love you" enough times for me to count on one hand if u take all the times she's said it when she felt bad, and i'm still in need for help because i don't do anything wrong, i give her back massages, i kissher all the time (she kisses me back ever 5 or more kisses i give her), i bought her a promise ring that was almost $200 (tho she does wear it all the time), and i bought her a necklace for $120 for our first annaversary, and she still doesn't say she loves me so its not like i treat her wrong, like i buy her stuff when i take her out and then just do stuff for her like help her with homework and stuff and she only bought me a cd so its not like she gets me stuff to show it to me, so i'm just wondering like wat i have to do for her to say "i love you" at least once a week or every so often when she's not upset or sad or anything

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2006):

willywombat agony auntAsk her straight out. But be prepared for her answer as she may not love you, she may only *like you a lot*.

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A female reader, ladybaby +, writes (6 March 2006):

2 months really isn't that long! Give her time, and don't force her to say something she doesn't want to/not ready to say.

Just be a lovely boyfriend, if you want to say "I Love You", fair enough, but don't expect a reply - when and if she's ready, it'll mean so much more when the words finally do come.

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2006):

smeedle agony auntIt is better for her not to tell you she loves you if she does not, lots of people stupidly tell there partners they love them when actually they like them a lot but dont love them.

Love is one of the most over used words and should only be said if the person really really does love you, and not just because it is easier to say that than have a sulky partner who just needs the reasurance.

This way when she does tell you she loves you, you know it is for real and heart felt and not just empty words.

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A female reader, Angelicc United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2006):

Angelicc agony auntThere nothin wrong with your girlfriend not saying i love you. it took me a long time to say i love you to my boyfriend. all it means that her love for you is something that has to grow over time not something thats instant. if she hasnt said i love you yet just means when she does, she'll really mean it. you just need to be patient and you need not to rush her as that will scare her away not help you.

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A female reader, StarNews +, writes (6 March 2006):

StarNews agony auntI feel it takes time to truly love someone. So I would be leery of anyone who says it too quickly. You have only been together a few months, I feel you should give it more time.

In my opinion, yes it does take a woman longer to fall in love. But when she does, you have her heart forever. We base love on things said and done that touch our hearts in a way that no one else can. She most likely is unsure of her love for you. But one day it will hit her like a ton of bricks, and you will see change in her.

My advice is to not focus so much on getting her to say the words, but just be yourself, and in time she will grow to love you if it is meant to be. And when she says those words, you will know they come from the her heart.

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