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female
,
anonymous
writes: If your partner has three failed relationships behind him what are the chances that our relationship will last?Is it true that past behavior represents future behavior?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Before I married my husband (at 32!) I was what you would call a serial monogamist. I do not view any of those relationships as failed!!
They made me the person I am today and whilst I was with each of my old BF's I gained a lot from each relationship. And when it had run it's course we both moved on.
There was R (2years) J (18months) P(2 1/2 years) J (4 yrs) and numerous 2 3 6 month-ers.
They are not failures, they are all part of the rich tapestry of life and make us what we are. I was not ready to settle down til I met my hubby, but if I had met him at 25 I probably wouldn't have settled down with him then either. A lot of it is about timing as well as the person you are with.
Dont judge him by his past.
Create your own past.
xx
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (6 March 2006):
 I have had a lot more than three failed relationships, most of us have a lot of partners and so a lot of relationships before we settle on mr or mrs right, and with each failed relationship we learn lessons which we carry over to the next relaionship.
Some character traits like jealousy we can carry with us to a new relationship and these can cause the same issues as with the previouse one, so yes past behaviour can follow into the new relationship.
My advice is to not worry about why a past relationship ended but to enjoy the one you have and take it from there.
Dont let someones past haunt your future.
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (6 March 2006):
 No..past behavior is an indicator, but past relationships are not always an indicator of the future. Each relationship brings with it it's own dynamics. Now, if every one of those women divorced him because he was a Cheating Drunk....that is a repetitive behavior you can expect to see return. But, if one failed due to her being on drugs and the next one because she met someone else and another because they just didn't get along...those are all very unsimilar issues.
In my hubbys family he has four brothers....the sister-in-laws call ourselfs the Third Wives Club. Each of our five hubbys had two failed marriages before finally marrying their third (and final so far) wives. (we are approaching 27 years for oldest and 10 years for the youngest) Were our hubby's jerks who could not have a stable loving relationship....No, not at all. But, they each had been sorely unlucky in their choice of spouse the first two times...everything from cheating to substance abuse seems to have plagued the Ex's and our boys were each rather jaded when they finally met all of us.
I would be concerned for any signs that he resolves conflict by taking his toys and returning to Mother...but if each relationship ended for a diffrent reason...don't fear him simply because he's had rotten luck. If after all that he's ready to Commit again...he can't be all bad.
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Suorpio is right - it really depends on how they ended.
If they ended because they grew apart, or realised they weren't really in love etc that is really different than say he cheated on each of them or hit them etc.
A few broken relationships may mean he has some issues or alternatively it could just mean he is picky and won't settle for someone he doesn't truly love or someone who is not right for him.
You have to know what ended the relationship before you can make judgement as to wether history will repeat itself!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2006): It depends entirely on how those relationshps "failed". If women keep dumping him because he's childish, selfish, manipulative, or possessive then it doesn't bode well for his future relationships, does it? Or if he rapidly skips from girl to girl because he's so fickle, that's probably something to avoid, too.
If, on the other hand, his last 3 girlfriends moved to China, became nuns, or came out of the closet, it's a different story then, isn't it? Past relationships don't reduce to an easy "score" that you can use to evaluate someone's dating potential. Try and consider the whole picture. Past behaviours are a pretty good measure of future behaviour, but sometimes relationships end for reasons beyond one party's control.
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