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female
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*oomoo27
writes: iv been seeing a lad from work since xmas 2005 and its going really well apart from in the bedroom,we are both 28, i dont think im his usual type but i no he`s liked me for ages and iv liked him a while too.Anyway he cant get a hard on no matter what we do,he does drugs at weekend and drinks,not heavly,he has even had a viagra and nothing happened. we both want to desperatly want to make love well so he says.im getting frustrated and he feels under pressure.what can we do
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 This could be because of a number of factor..
PRESSURE to perform ,he feels he is letting you don.
DRUGS, some drug can cause problems with libido or blood flow to the penis(antidepressants)or they can cause an inability to orgasm.
ALCOHOL, well you have heard of the term brewer's droop havent you?
HORMONAL CHANGES, it could be there is something physically wrong with your BF and a trip to your GP can rule this out with a couple of routine blood tests.
There will be more problems arising the longwer you leave this so GO TO YOUR DOCTOR!!!! Ask the people who know, not a bunch of strangers over the internet. We can give you ideas, but it will take a full physical examination and truth and honesty on his part to get to the bottom of this.
Good luck
x
A
female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (6 March 2006):
 I agree with smeedle as far as trying to stay sober for a while to see if it helps. If not, he should definitely ask his doc about it because it could be a symptom of a serious health problem. If it isn't either one of the above, it could just be that he needs to see a sex therapist to find out why he is having this problem. It may be psychological. In the meantime, why doesn't he try to do something to ease your frustration? He should still be able to give you some pleasure, even if he is having trouble. That would help things on your end, I am sure!
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female
reader, smeedle +, writes (6 March 2006):
 I once went out with a bloke who would get hard until the actual time of entry then he went soft, nothing I did made any difference, and to be truthful after awhile my patience worn thin and I ditched the poor bugger,( I was young and not at all understanding!!)
Now i would try a few techniques (get books and dvd`s) and if that did not work I would tell him to get checked out by the doctor, there may be something wrong especially if he tried viagra which in fact does not work for all men.
Also some drugs like cannabis can have the effect of not producing an erection as can heroin, remember drugs like alcohol work on different people in different ways, alcohol is a deffinate for not getting it up!!
Try no drinking and no drugs and see if this makes a difference, maybe like with my guy it is psycological.
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