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My husband and his family do not believe I was a virgin because I didn't bleed after our first night together. Why did I not bleed?

Tagged as: Family, Health, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2012) 10 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2012)
A female Mexico age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Hola I am from Mexico . Please forgive my English it is second language to me. I am originally from Mexico but live here in the united states. I am 21 years old and recently got married . I was a virgin when I married . I didn't bleed . My husband is 30 years old an angry he think I not virgin. He think i used and lie to him. We

live with his parents. My first night with him was at his house. When we finish his mom and auntie came to check bed sheet. No blood. They tell him to take me back to Mexico . When I meet him I server at restraunt I come here with him. Now his mom take me to clinic to get checked out of women part. His mom mexican and prays rosary daily . I want to be good wife and daughter. Curandera lady come to house to massage stomach and use herbs to help me bleed. Should I go back to Mexico ? They not mean to me I cook clean for everyone. I want to please new family. I will lay down with my husband nightly . Why I virgin but did no bleed ? Tanks

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A female reader, Abella United States + , writes (27 August 2012):

Abella agony auntIt is barbaric that they are putting your through this. A qualified doctor would tell them that without doubt not all girls bleed. Complete virgins do not always bleed.

Occasionally girls who are definitely NOT virgins do bleed (until they get help from the Doctor for their eroded cervix)

If your husband is so ignorant and so disloyal to you that he is prepared to allow you to be so humiliated then walk away from him.

your husband can stop this nonsence immediately.

Or you can stop it by walking out of the marriage.

Visit the Priest and explain how you utterly and completely were a virgin and how aggrieved you are that your husband and his family are humiliating you in this way.

Maybe the priest can get your husband and his relatives to see that common sense is not prevailing and that there needs to be some apologies for the distress that has been caused by their thoughtless ignorant defamation of you.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (27 August 2012):

Anonymous 123 agony auntWhat rubbish! This is crap, I agree with Mishmash, this question screams fake!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012):

I'm from Mexico too and it embarrasses me that people from my country still have this ideals. So what if you didn't bleed? I didn't bleed when I lost my virginity because I was a gymnast and my hymen got broken (is broken the right word for this?) from doing splits, I've also heard some people don't bleed because they had bike accidents, from using tampons, etc. He should understand that and even if he can't, and IF you weren't a virgin, so what? Does that make you any less of a person? No, it doesn't and if if your husband sees it that way and wants you to go back to Mexico for it then he is definitely not the guy for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012):

"Hola I am from Mexico....They tell him to take me back to Mexico"

Seriously?...I smell bullshit. OP, something tells me that you're not from Mexico, you're probably not female, and you're probably still be a virgin.

Nice accent though.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (26 August 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntCripes!!!! WHAT business is it of your in-laws whether or not you were virgin or anything "else" when you spent your first night with your new husband??????

Be happy to return to your past and be rid of these idiots!!!!

Good luck..... and via con Dios....

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A female reader, person12345 United States + , writes (26 August 2012):

person12345 agony auntMore than half of women do not bleed their first time, there is NOTHING wrong with you. A lot of women break their hymens early, from riding a bike, doing gymnastics, falling, etc... Your family does not understand female anatomy at all.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (26 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI agree with Chigirl.

not all virgins bleed. I didn't.

it's a total myth that all virgins bleed... exercise, work, tampons... all of these things can break a hymen and that's the part that MIGHT bleed.

your husband and his family are ignorant of female anatomy.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2012):

They are being unfair to you. Not all virgins bleed. even those who bleed, don't bleed profusely to stain the bed sheets. normally only smears of blood is seen on the male's penis when pulled out. I hope someone can convince your husband and your mother in law.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (26 August 2012):

chigirl agony auntNot all virgins bleed, it is a myth that virgins bleed.

You probably didn't bleed because your husband was good to you in bed. Was it painful? First time having sex does not need to be painful. But if a man is too rough, or the woman isn't ready for sex, it can hurt, and you will bleed.

But not all virgins bleed. I didn't bleed my first time having sex either. My friend didn't either.

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2012):

fi_the_tree agony auntMaybe his penis wasn't big enough to make you bleed?

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