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My boyfriend is upset at the priority I give my career

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 August 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 August 2012)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm a final year medical student,and my life just gets crazier each day..but I'm to be done with school coming december when I have my finals..

I don't go out,nor drink or smoke I meet my my friends very rarely and they always complain I don't give them time,its not that I don't want to I can't,my schedule gets very hectic and once I'm done I just want to come back and rest!

so my boyfriend of 4 years has been very mad at me lately cuz I don't seem to give him the time,I don't really talk on the phone cuz I'm so busy in the day I just send a text,or when he texts I reply after 4 or 5 hours cuz I don't use my phone often in the hospital..

so last night he suggested since I'm free I just keep everything aside,and we make love..he set the place,candle light dinner,he decorated the room,had my favourite candle burning it was amazing we were just getting on to it,when my phone started ringing,he was like switch it off so I went to switch it off and I got a text from a fellow med student saying the operation that I'v been wanted to see is going to be done by one of the best surgeons in the city and me and him get a chance to see it.

I was ecstatic,literally overjoyed he said I had to be there in half hour,I literally wore my clothes and ran off from there and I told my boyfriend I will make up for this..well now he's mad at me,he said he feels like he has no importance in my life anymore and all I talk about is patients and hospital and he doesn't get this cuz he is into finance and has a family business of his own..!

my friends keep telling me that dating a doctor would do me good since they would understand our hectic lives but I love my boyfriend way too much,to let him go!!how do I make up for this?

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (28 August 2012):

person12345 agony auntI think out of every possible career, med students probably have it worst for school and he needs to understand that. You aren't making him a low priority, you just have zero time and he is being insensitive. I understand he is feeling upset that you have so little time, but it sounds like you are doing your best and the best is all you can give.

You are pursuing your dream and doing something awesome, do not let some guy make you feel bad for doing something great. I agree that you should try to schedule time with your boyfriend. I have two friends who work in an emergency room in a regional trauma center and that means they have ridiculous schedules. Often one will be working at night and the other will be working during the day. On top of it, they have two children. They have a big calendar on the wall to write their work schedule on as well as daycare and together time. It works well. You just need to come up with a system.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI think focusing on your career is great. It will get you where you want to be in life.

However, do not neglect friends and your BF.

Schedule date nights with your BF and keep them (if possible) and schedule a night out with friends here and there too. Life is about balance. You need to find yours.

What's the fun in working all this hard when you will end up with no one to share all your accomplishments with?

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