| Latest articles: Why are so many people in abusive relationships/marriages?
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2010: I read so many questions about people stuck in "abusive relationship"s and marriages and I can't help but wonder: 1. how did this happen? I mean, why do people let themselves be stepped on like that? Why do people treat their significant o...
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My 17 year old daughter has told me she is bi-sexual. I've accepted it, but I am very upset by this news. What's the best way for me to go forward?
Q. Yesterday, my 17 year old daughter told me she is bi-sexual. I have noticed for a couple of months that she has been very distant from everyone except me. I asked her to tell me what was wrong and she eventually told me. I am very proud of th...
A. 16 June 2015: Anon, what a great answer to your daughter. A grade parenting right there.... (read in full...)
How do I win him back and feel better? My Mom and My Aunt don't like him
Q. I fell for this guy; I'm 23 and he's nearly 30. He seems to like me and he's also sexually attracted to me. However, I haven't been able to date him as I was trying to finish off my degree at the time. This is still an on-going problem as I'm s...
A. 1 June 2015: Thank goodness you're dumping him. You're dodging a bullet by doing so. Like the others said, you deserve so much better. ... (read in full...)
Is there anyway that I can chat to this girl without it seeming creepy?
Q. Hi Guys I actually saw a similar question to this posted a few days ago so apologies for the almost repeat content. I decided to ask it in my own words anyway because there are aspects which differ compared to the other question I saw. Anyway enou...
A. 1 June 2015: I once got asked out by a guy on facebook simply based on the fact he liked my picture. He didn't even have the "friend of a friend" excuse. He just told me he really liked my picture and that we seemed to have similar interests and if I'd like to ... (read in full...)
Why are women turned off by inexperienced men?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off ? Why is it that if a guy never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or just been in a relationship before, and sadly ...
A. 31 May 2015: They're not. They are however turned off by guys who spend a lot of time turning mice into elephants in their heads. You're afraid women will be turned off by your inexperience so you probably googled that fear and ran into a lot of insecure, bitter ... (read in full...)
Can you think of examples where a woman initiated a relationship? I need some examples to demolish my long held view that this never happens.
Q. Because it seems, to me, that all boyfriend and girlfriend relationships are still initiated by the guy, where the man approaches the woman first, talks to her first and asked her out first, initiated everything or almost everything in the ...
A. 31 May 2015: Honestly though, why does it matter? Do you want an excuse to sit back and wait? Do you want a reason to grumble about how men are "doing all the work" when it comes to dating? Because neither are going to help you get what you want.
Hopin... (read in full...)
Can you think of examples where a woman initiated a relationship? I need some examples to demolish my long held view that this never happens.
Q. Because it seems, to me, that all boyfriend and girlfriend relationships are still initiated by the guy, where the man approaches the woman first, talks to her first and asked her out first, initiated everything or almost everything in the ...
A. 31 May 2015: Honestly though, why does it matter? Do you want an excuse to sit back and wait? Do you want a reason to grumble about how men are "doing all the work" when it comes to dating? Because neither are going to help you get what you want.
Hopin... (read in full...)
Should I be allowed a lock on my door?
Q. Hello, opinions on my situation please. I currently live with my step mum dad and little sister. My little sister is my half sister my step mum is her mum. Ive only lived with them for a few months. I used to live with my mum other sister, I was ve...
A. 28 May 2015: Okay, here's how I'd make the best of a bad situation
I'd buy a footlocker or a bunch of boxes and I'd store everything valuable in them, like others suggested. Have a separate box for food and snacks (or a separate compartment, to keep it hygie... (read in full...)
My 17 year old daughter has told me she is bi-sexual. I've accepted it, but I am very upset by this news. What's the best way for me to go forward?
Q. Yesterday, my 17 year old daughter told me she is bi-sexual. I have noticed for a couple of months that she has been very distant from everyone except me. I asked her to tell me what was wrong and she eventually told me. I am very proud of th...
A. 20 May 2015: Sorry, I made a typo and I can't correct my previous post: I meant here's another basic truth: being bi doesn't suddenly make one promiscuous or incapable of having a monogamous relationship. ... (read in full...)
My 17 year old daughter has told me she is bi-sexual. I've accepted it, but I am very upset by this news. What's the best way for me to go forward?
Q. Yesterday, my 17 year old daughter told me she is bi-sexual. I have noticed for a couple of months that she has been very distant from everyone except me. I asked her to tell me what was wrong and she eventually told me. I am very proud of th...
A. 20 May 2015: Good job on telling her you love her no matter what. That is probably the best and most important thing you could tell her. This is a turbulent time in her life right now and she'll be fine as long as she has unwavering support and loyalty from the ... (read in full...)
Online guy I've been chatting with is missing his teeth and it turns me off. What should I do?
Q. Well I don't want to sound rude but want to know your thoughts and maybe some suggestions I met a guy online and we've been talking for about two months now. I really like him and he seems real nice so far. I would like to further our ...
A. 16 May 2015: Honeypie offered some really good insights. Bad teeth can definitely point to a financial problem, which, like she pointed out, will also be a problem for an LDR if he ever wants to visit you.
Taking care of your teeth is part of taking care of ... (read in full...)
I want to tell my friend that I've had a crush on him for awhile but I'm afraid he won't feel the same
Q. I want to tell my friend that I've had a crush on him since hs but I'm scared he'll turn me down and it would be awkward. We are good friends so he has told me about some of his past relationships and how he feels like there's no one compatible with ...
A. 12 May 2015: Hmm, difficult to answer. I need some more info, so I have some questions for you:
- You've had sex with him before. Why didn't it develop into something more then?
- This "no-one's compatible to me" comment, did he say that before or after yo... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 10 May 2015: If you want a better life, you're going to have to take some risks and make yourself vulnerable.
Your life as it now is going to be your future if you keep your current attitude. Doing the same things will give you the same results.
So take... (read in full...)
Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?
Q. At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...
A. 8 May 2015: Many older men are attracted to young women, but not many older men are attractive to young women. Attraction makes all the difference. If someone is attractive to you, you'll automatically judge someone's actions in a more positive light.
Also,... (read in full...)
Should a shy geeky guy visit a prostitute to gain some experience before I Try to find GF
Q. I'm a 24 year old male virgin who has never kissed a girl nor have I ever been on a date. I'm not particularly good looking and I don't have six pack abs. Not to mention I'm a giant film/video game/comic book geek as well. I research this to...
A. 2 May 2015: Honestly, I don't really care if a guy goes to see a hooker/escort to get more experience. If it takes the edge off and makes you more proactive in dating, why the hell not. Just make sure you use a condom. Seriously, you do not want to end up with ... (read in full...)
What can I do legally to get her to stop with all the crap shes doing so we can live our lives?
Q. Good day all... Here is the time for all you that give great advice to read my situation and give me advice on what I should do about it. I have been with my fiancé for almost 3 years now. Within a couple months of our relationship he ...
A. 2 May 2015: When exes cause trouble in the new relationship, people make the mistake of focusing on the ex instead of their partner. It's HIS problem, not yours and HE should be the one putting a stop to all this. That's his responsibility. Tell him as much. ... (read in full...)
He's fine in person but is awful at texting!
Q. I was just hoping for some general advice. My boyfriend is incredible, and I'm head over heels for my relationship. We're both in college, so I know we're young, but I've never been happier with a significant other. He treats me like a princess. The ...
A. 2 May 2015: If you want something, you gotta ask for it. But if you feel he would not deal with the question well, reframe it. Initiate something (propose a place to hang out, etc.) and then after doing that, text him you had a great time and that you're ... (read in full...)
Mom has an athletic body but I don't. Does this make me a loser?
Q. My mom has an athletic body and I don't. Does that make me a looser? Im a 14 year old skinny person with a fat belly and my mom in contrast has an athletic body. I feel embarrassed when I'm with her especially at the beach in swimsuits. She ...
A. 29 April 2015: Of course you're not a loser! There's such a cliche going around in society about how people in their teens are at the pinnacle of their life and should look like swimsuit models. In Tv-series, most teens are actually played by people in their ... (read in full...)
Unrequited feeling for a guy. Will I ever find a guy who really likes me?
Q. I am 20 and I had an unrequited feeling or is that what you call it at a guy i know for 8 years. All my life i have known, that I had liked him a lot but I was unable to confess and hid it all this time. Instead I find joy and happiness just w...
A. 28 April 2015: At your age (which is currently 7 years ago) I was quite a bit like you. I was always afraid to do the hard thing and expose myself to someone, because I was afraid to get hurt.
I got past that because I learned one important thing. The problem ... (read in full...)
Should his voyeurism concern me? How can I believe that I am the woman for him when all his thousands of saved images of women all look nothing like me?
Q. i am currently engaged to my partner of just over 2years. I have since constantly found images he has taken of women in public, on screens or saved of women. Also the usual porn etc... On his phone, email, playstation, in our new home (dvd's, ...
A. 28 April 2015: Hi OP, I just read your follow up. I don't really understand what you're trying to say. Do you really believe that the reasons for his actions (which you have not disclosed) are an excuse? Because what he's doing is inexcusable, regardless of what ... (read in full...)
Will my fiance from another country be able to accept my culture? I think he's jealous
Q. Will my overseas born fiance be able to accept my American culture? He is so very loyal and romantic and attentive to me. I'm really in love with him. I think it's a miracle to find love halfway across the planet. I'm in the u.s. and he's from an...
A. 25 April 2015: Please listen to your gut, OP. It's trying to tell you something. That worrying feeling, that nagging feeling that something is wrong, don't ignore it because something IS wrong. Your fiancee is not who he tells you he is.
"He always talks ab... (read in full...)
My daughter is being so excluded in her class by her classmates. How can this ostracism be dealt with?
Q. Hi, My daughter is being so excluded in her class. And the girls ignore her and don't really want to hangout with her. This of course has affected her and of course concerns me. She is almost 11, beautifull both inside and out., sweet but on the...
A. 25 April 2015: Being there for her and making sure she feels loved and appreciated by you is the most important thing. Also, look into assertiveness training for children. This may help her learn to better handle social interactions and to stand up for herself. If ... (read in full...)
I'm pretty much a social reject!
Q. I can't seem to make any friends because I'm single with no kids. Everyone views me as desperate or needy and stay far away from me as possible. Even when I don't announce my relationship status I still get the lonely and desperate tag. At work, ...
A. 17 April 2015: I've never heard of anyone being rejected in a social setting because of being single. I can't think of a reason why that would even come up to be honest. Do you live in a neighborhood where only young married people with kids live? Are all your ... (read in full...)
How can I tell someone to stop flirting with me in a work place?
Q. There is this older man at work who is getting too friendly and I want to put a stop to it.I don't work with him everyday since I have a part time casual position and he has permanent position on different floor. I am casual wh...
A. 5 April 2015: I've dealt with this several times unfortunately. The first time I was 20 and way too meek to tell him off. It evolved into a stalker like situation and I eventually I had to quit my job because I just couldn't work with him anymore and he was very ... (read in full...)
My potential date might be in an online porn video, should I let her know
Q. young woman who I have been growing closer to over the past few months has taken a romantic interest in me and she wants to try dating me and I have agreed to go out on a date with her. She is very much the good girl type and is extremely innocent ...
A. 5 April 2015: Once it's out there, it's out there. Whether she was paid for it or if it was just an amateur vid, once someone decides to put it online, you can't "get rid" of it. So even if it's her, telling her will not accomplish much; it's not like she can do ... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling like a loser for going to uni late?
Q. I started at 17 (I'm Scottish) but faced some problems due to being young (hallmates didn't want to be friends with someone who couldn't go out etc.) and after a few years ended leaving my course as I was really depressed (family issues too) and my ...
A. 1 April 2015: First mistake: using age as a measuring stick for success. The fact you feel like a loser for going to Uni again at 23 just proves how very young that still is. Young people have no concept of time. When you're a kid, imagining yourself as a teen is ... (read in full...)
Will men still fancy me if I get a short hair cut?
Q. I feel like doing something brave and unconventional, and one thing I'd like to do is to cut my shoulder-long hair to a dramatic, very-short hair cut. But I'm afraid that if I do so, men won't fancy me any more, as people sometimes assume short-ha...
A. 31 March 2015: And remember, hair will grow back. It would be a more difficult choice if for example you were going from waistlength hair to a pixie, which takes at least 3/4 years to grow out (I did it, so I know). But shoulderlength? Depending on the do you'll ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm dating a little boy instead of a man?
Q. So I've been dating my boyfriend for three years now and for the most part everything is great. However, he is 24 without a car(he longboards) and has not found his career path yet. Last year he was planning on going into the military but he could...
A. 30 March 2015: When I finished HS at 16 and entered Uni for the first time, I felt way more mature than everybody else because I was already on the fast track to making something of my life. Looking back I can only laugh at that, because boy, I was wrong. People ... (read in full...)
How to overcome the sudden void left behind through my decision to have my very loved sick cat euthanized?
Q. Hi, I know this is not a relationship question or even a question but right now my world is just in ruins. I have decided to euthanize my baby cat. He was very sick and I did not have the money to make him better. I feel so guilty. I stayed with...
A. 29 March 2015: *hugs you*
I had to put my beloved dog of 18 years down a few months back and the day I did it I was wracked by guilt and grief. Questions swirled through my head. Did I do the right thing? Humans don't get the plug pulled on them after they get... (read in full...)
Ladies, your possible reaction if you surmised, during sex, that a guy was a virgin then would you stop having sex or what?
Q. Hi Cupid, I wanna paint a pictute here for woman and hear what they think. Pleeeeeeeease be brutally honest, no euphemism. If you (a woman) were in your twenties and liked some guy, just like, not a romeo and juliette love story, you've know...
A. 29 March 2015: Sex is something I think almost everybody is a little bit insecure about. Especially with a new partner. All that perfectly choreographed sex you see in movies and in some porn, that's not reality. People fumble, people make mistakes. So no, I don't ... (read in full...)
Will men still fancy me if I get a short hair cut?
Q. I feel like doing something brave and unconventional, and one thing I'd like to do is to cut my shoulder-long hair to a dramatic, very-short hair cut. But I'm afraid that if I do so, men won't fancy me any more, as people sometimes assume short-ha...
A. 10 March 2015: Have you seen Scarlett Johannson with her recent short do? Or Charlize Theron with her almost buzzed hair? Hell, Natalie Portman with her shaved head. None of these women were any less feminine or attractive because of it. When it suits you, short ... (read in full...)
Two sexual encounters and since the second one I've lost my mojo. Have I closed down emotionally? Why would this happen?
Q. Dear Cupids. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm 18, and at uni. I have had two sexual encounters in my life, the first of which was good, the second very average. But I've completely lost my mojo. It's been such a long long time since I've ...
A. 9 March 2015: This anxiety about 'losing your mojo', where did that come from? Is it from seeing others with boyfriends/girlfriends and feeling like you have to have the same?
I mean, what exactly are you worried about? Being asexual? And what about it if yo... (read in full...)
How to avoid Date Rape?
Q. I've been seeking out nothing more than casual sex online and made this blatant on my dating profile. However, getting date raped as a result has become a fear. I'm afraid that, in the situation where I want to take things slow, postpone the act...
A. 6 March 2015: You've had some really good answers already, but here's some more advice.
- Please do carry pepper spray. There are a lot of companies out there producing pepper spray and the like camouflaged as perfume bottles and lipsticks, so consider... (read in full...)
What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 14 February 2015: Dude, you have so much baggage, no wonder this is not working for you.
First of all: why are you trying to prove yourself to the world that you can "be good with girls"? Trust me, the world couldn't care less if you are or aren't. Women aren't a... (read in full...)
Pleaseee help me I want to die,my boyfriend of 7 yrs is leaving me because I told him about my past.?
Q. my boyfriend of 7 yrs has a long sexual history including gangbangs,orgys, etc with 50+ girls. he done drugs. he neve r lied n we go to church and we are very in love. i trust he doesnt hide anything and loves me. we started off as f.buddya ...
A. 14 February 2015: What a despicable man, to judge you for your mild sexual history while his is pretty extreme even to the most open minded people. It's not just that he's a hypocrite. He clearly does not view you as an equal; he doesn't respect you at all. He just ... (read in full...)
Can some men be interested in just being nice and your friend?
Q. Can some men be interested in just being nice and your friend? I know a man from work and have became good friends with him over the past few months, he has also helped me out around the house. I have just moved into my first house myself, he helps ...
A. 14 February 2015: I've worked the night shift for quite a while and especially then it's really important to have social contacts. I'd go to bed at 8am and wake up in the afternoon, so I'd still have time left to meet up with people, have dinner, etc. I don't believe ... (read in full...)
How do guys really feel about stretch marks?
Q. I've been reading on this website for the past couple of months and I've noticed a lot of posts concerning stretch marks lately. It's got me thinking a lot. I've always been pretty confident with my body but I do have tons of stretch marks. I...
A. 14 February 2015: Every single woman has stretch marks. Even models. They just get makeup to cover them up. Thin women may have less, but they do have them. Plus, guys have them too. Often on their back or their butt. It literally doesn't matter. They fade over time ... (read in full...)
Why oh why is it so difficult for me to talk to guys? I'm tall. What can I do?
Q. I've always had a hard time talking to guys. I'm shy to begin with, so starting conversations isn't my strong suit. However, I've noticed that talking to guys is a lot harder than talking to girls. All my (very few) guy friends started talking ...
A. 4 February 2015: Okay, first things first, just to confirm: your tallness is indeed not the problem. I'm 5'10, almost 5'11 and it's literally not an issue at all. Your hips and legs are not a turnoff either; I've never met a guy who turned down a woman because she ... (read in full...)
Six months into the relationship I find out she lied. How do we move on from this?
Q. Just looking for opinions what other guys would do in my position. Basically me and my girlfriend have been together 6 months, in the early stages of the relationship there was rumours had she sent pics of herself in underwear to a guy she had be...
A. 4 February 2015: Honestly, she's done nothing wrong. You don't get to judge her about her personal life before you were together. You weren't with her when she sent them to that guy so it's unfair for you to be butthurt about that now. She only lied because ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'll bore him to death! How do I make myself more interesting?
Q. I'm seeing this guy,, I know him very well now, and I'm pretty sure it's a relationship, or about to be. He's mentioned to other's I'm his girl, his friends call me his girl or he is my man or that I am with him. They treat us like a couple. Well, ...
A. 4 February 2015: Don't worry about boring him. He's with you for a reason and if he thought you were boring he wouldn't be with you. The text every night thing is just what he does to be close, it doesn't mean he expects you to have adventures to tell him about ... (read in full...)
How important is the online photo?
Q. been single for 5 years and now making a big effort to find someone. I have hated the idea of online dating and had some rubbish experiences 4 years ago, but now I am trying it out with a different perspective. I am a very private person and don'...
A. 4 February 2015: Look at it this way: when you go out in the world, be it shopping, be it visiting a bar or restaurant, you're not wearing a bag over your head either are you? And the people you're afraid of encountering online could be there too. Why would it be ... (read in full...)
I found out he lied about having a girlfriend, does that mean he isn't serious about her?
Q. Hi Agony people! I met this guy the other day and he seemed nice and chatty. He told me he was a year younger than he actually is too. I asked him on the qt unknownst to him if he had a girlfriend and he sad no. I thought he was geniune and a really ...
A. 4 February 2015: Look who cares if he's serious about his gf or not. The point is he's cheating on both of you. That means he's a piece of shit and neither of you should want him. Stop spending energy on analyzing his feelings; he's not worth a nanosecond of your ... (read in full...)
He said he'd stop making comments about other women, but I'm afraid my trust is already damaged
Q. I've been dating an incredible man for the last two months who is thoughtful and kind, caring and loving, he's super sweet and considerate. The way he treats me is great. He is always reliable and consistent, things like offering to drive me home ...
A. 4 February 2015: Well, he has a point. You didn't tell him until the dam broke and if he grew up learning it wasn't a big deal, how is he gonna know it's disrespectful unless someone tells him it is? When someone does something that you don't like, you tell them or ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 28 December 2014: OP, don't forget that most of age related milestones have a direct correlation with money and/or luck. Things that a lot of people don't have in this economic crisis. If one wants to college, they need money. If they want to live on their own, they ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 26 December 2014: "the way I see it, men have to earn a date, a relationship more than women do, since men have to be the pursuers."
Okay, so based on that info you have two options:
#1. Roll with it and pursue women that interest you until find someone who ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 24 December 2014: But OP, what has all this bitterness and negativity brought you? I'll answer that for you: it brought you safety because if you can blame it on those abstract things instead of yourself, then it's not your fault. And that is exactly the reason why ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 23 December 2014: The first thing you need to get past is this whole "men versus women" thing you've got going on. The societal pressure is toxic for everyone and men and women's issues are interconnected.
To illustrate this, look at the average Venus and Gillette... (read in full...)
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