| Latest articles: Why are so many people in abusive relationships/marriages?
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2010: I read so many questions about people stuck in "abusive relationship"s and marriages and I can't help but wonder: 1. how did this happen? I mean, why do people let themselves be stepped on like that? Why do people treat their significant o...
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I hate being a genius!
Q. I'm a gifted kid, but not what most gifted kids are. I'm different from other gifted kids like as an example. you would have to meet 1000 people to meet someone similar to me. Chances are they also wont be the same age as me too. Anyhow I hat...
A. 28 November 2012: Kid, when you correct someone on a typo, you have to make sure you're not making the same mistake(s) yourself. Otherwise you'll come across as a hypocrite and a know-it-all, which will not help you make friends. I know people who did this and still ... (read in full...)
I don't know what's wrong with him. He's being a jerk out of nowhere. PLEASE, I need advice.
Q. Sorry if this is a bit lengthy, but it's well worth the read. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We broke up in August because I had an attitude problem, but it was my birth control that made me have an "attitude problem"...
A. 20 November 2012: Sorry sorry sorry, I totally missed your update!
Better late than never I guess, so here I am!
Well sounds like your date went well. If he wants to celebrate Christmas with you and take you on a road trip, he must like you. Maybe he's takin... (read in full...)
I don't know what's wrong with him. He's being a jerk out of nowhere. PLEASE, I need advice.
Q. Sorry if this is a bit lengthy, but it's well worth the read. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We broke up in August because I had an attitude problem, but it was my birth control that made me have an "attitude problem"...
A. 11 November 2012: Hey girl,
Great you found a nice person to spend time with, but before this all moves too fast you've got to make a clean break with your bf, if this is truly what you want. You have to consider the idea that the reason you're sucking up this new... (read in full...)
I don't know what's wrong with him. He's being a jerk out of nowhere. PLEASE, I need advice.
Q. Sorry if this is a bit lengthy, but it's well worth the read. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We broke up in August because I had an attitude problem, but it was my birth control that made me have an "attitude problem"...
A. 8 November 2012: Glad I can help! I actually love follow ups. There are so many times I've given advice but don't get to hear how the OP is doing or what he/she decided, so actually having someone updating their questions is refreshing to me.
I know it's hard hon... (read in full...)
My best friend wants a marriage of convenience!
Q. hey aunts and uncles urgent advice needed please. My close male friend and i are both creeping closer to 30. Neither of us is with anybody and we get on very well. We were having a meal at his house, together the other night and got talking about ...
A. 7 November 2012: You need to find out first if you love each other and if you could be that person for one another. So date and see if you can get the sparks going.
If not, it's not a good idea to do this even if you both have the wish of having children. There ar... (read in full...)
How do I walk away from my personal trainer who I have feelings for?
Q. Hello everyone. I need some help! This is a very mixed up situation and I am having a very, very hard time walking away from it. I know what I have to do but I just cannot seem to pull the trigger. And emotionally it is tearing me apa...
A. 7 November 2012: You have 2 years of experience under your belt, so by now you can probably do all the exercises in their proper form blindly. You don't need him to maintain this awesome bod you have. It's time to write all those routine cycles down and start ... (read in full...)
I don't know what's wrong with him. He's being a jerk out of nowhere. PLEASE, I need advice.
Q. Sorry if this is a bit lengthy, but it's well worth the read. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We broke up in August because I had an attitude problem, but it was my birth control that made me have an "attitude problem"...
A. 7 November 2012: No problem, OP! I'm not the most organized user here either: sometimes reply multiple times in a row to a thread because of things popping up in my head all the time. It's something more users here can identify with, I'm sure.
Now, onto the rest... (read in full...)
How do I tell my wife's 22 year old niece that I want to be with her?
Q. For the past year or so I have dreampt of being with my wifes 22 yr old neice, Her and I spent a weekend together in July and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Ironically, I do believe it came from her too as when she was ...
A. 7 November 2012: Let me get this straight: you think you and this girl are going to ride off in the sunset with romantic music playing in the background...based on one encounter that wasn't even intimate?
I'll be frank with you: even if she were attracte... (read in full...)
He wants me as a booty call, what should I do?
Q. I got a friend that has lost both of his parents. We were giving an affair.after the lot of his parents he then divorced his wife. He stop calling me. Then later told me he hookup with another female. He said his relationship is great but his girl...
A. 7 November 2012: Depends on what your morals are and what you want from this. If you want a proper relationship and not just be a piece of meat to be used to cheat on his girlfriend, I'd suggest telling him to find someone else. Honestly though, this guy is not ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has dyed her hair and looks more European, how is this possible?
Q. This is probably a very unusual question that i'm sure nobody would think to ask or notice, especially a man. This girl that I have been seeing for quite a while is very beautiful. She's mixed race and has long black hair, it was obvious she was ...
A. 6 November 2012: It's a combination of factors. The first is the association and image we have of what people of a certain ethnicity look like. Second is color shemes/compatibility. Dark makes certain shades stand out, while light can downplay them.
For example:... (read in full...)
I don't know what's wrong with him. He's being a jerk out of nowhere. PLEASE, I need advice.
Q. Sorry if this is a bit lengthy, but it's well worth the read. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We broke up in August because I had an attitude problem, but it was my birth control that made me have an "attitude problem"...
A. 5 November 2012: Well, he's stubborn as hell, that's for sure. Honestly though, this doesn't sound good. If it were me, I'd probably text him: "contact me again when you feel up to it, but whatever you do, don't just leave me hanging. If you need some time, that's ... (read in full...)
I hate being a genius!
Q. I'm a gifted kid, but not what most gifted kids are. I'm different from other gifted kids like as an example. you would have to meet 1000 people to meet someone similar to me. Chances are they also wont be the same age as me too. Anyhow I hat...
A. 4 November 2012: Also, just one thing: you don't need to prove you are a genius. In the most positive sense it just means that what you may have in added intelligence is compensated by your inferiority socially. You are probably used to completing tests with great ... (read in full...)
I hate being a genius!
Q. I'm a gifted kid, but not what most gifted kids are. I'm different from other gifted kids like as an example. you would have to meet 1000 people to meet someone similar to me. Chances are they also wont be the same age as me too. Anyhow I hat...
A. 4 November 2012: YouWish gave great advice. I wholeheartedly recommend following up on her suggestions.
... (read in full...)
I hate being a genius!
Q. I'm a gifted kid, but not what most gifted kids are. I'm different from other gifted kids like as an example. you would have to meet 1000 people to meet someone similar to me. Chances are they also wont be the same age as me too. Anyhow I hat...
A. 4 November 2012: YouWish gave great advice. I wholeheartedly recommend following up on her suggestions.
... (read in full...)
Our friends keep asking us if we would like to "house swap" with them! They are relentless!
Q. This may seem trivial but I'm really angry about it... Basically my partner and I have bought a lovely 3 bed house. We've worked hard to be able to afford it- sacrificing things, working all hours, not having a decent holiday for the past 4 y...
A. 4 November 2012: Don't be "nice" by tolerating this. They are quietly trying to bully you into doing what they want or they really don't know how much they're annoying you. In any case: set them straight. That's what real friends would do and even if they're not, ... (read in full...)
Exercise tips needed to lose weight on my thighs
Q. Hiya, This isn't a relationship question, but I guess it's kind of a health one, which is why I'm asking here. Recently I've decided that i don't really like my body shape~ I'm about 5'5" and maybe around 11-12 stone (about 160 pounds) though ...
A. 4 November 2012: Strong is the new skinny. Don't be afraid of muscle. You're a girl, you're not made to bulk up incessantly unless you use supplements to stimulate that kind of growth (a.k.a. steroids or some variation of them). Look at ballet dancers for example. ... (read in full...)
She used to be promiscuous so I want access to her online activities!
Q. Is it okay for me to ask my fiancee to look at her emails, texts, and facebook one time? I will gladly let her look at mine. I am engaged to woman w/ a very promiscuous past and want to confirm that she will be faithful by asking to read h...
A. 4 November 2012: Listen, OP. You do not trust her because otherwise you wouldn't feel the need to confirm that it isn't one big game for her. She's your fiancee now. Do you really think she'd bind herself to one man if her main objective is to continue her ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my B/f in my parents' room and they got to know about it and are mad at me!
Q. Hi everyone, I need some help. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for the past 4 months, we're both 17 and consenting so there really isnt a problem. But my parents found a condom wrapper on the floor of their room (the only double bed in the ...
A. 4 November 2012: "Young and in Love" gave you great advice. If you have any sense, you follow his suggestions. And some flowers and a freshly changed bed can do no harm to add on to that. ... (read in full...)
I don't know what's wrong with him. He's being a jerk out of nowhere. PLEASE, I need advice.
Q. Sorry if this is a bit lengthy, but it's well worth the read. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We broke up in August because I had an attitude problem, but it was my birth control that made me have an "attitude problem"...
A. 4 November 2012: Personally, I'd give it another week. 2 weeks isn't very long and as stubborn as he sounds, it looks like he may need that. If after that he still hasn't contacted you, I'd text him. I wouldn't text him to ask to help out with a paper. Then it just ... (read in full...)
I loaned boyfriend money and he hasn't paid it all back but I may need it! How do I go about this?
Q. Hi everyone. My problem is I grew up poor and I worry about money. I earn enough to pay my bills and save a bit. From time to time I have given my bf money when he needed help, and recently this has happened 2 months in a row. Plus a couple of times ...
A. 31 October 2012: Don't wait, deal with this right now.
I'd simply tell him: "I have a big expense to cover and I need the money you owe me from the loans I gave you as soon as possible. I've calculated based on my bank statements that I loaned you [insert ... (read in full...)
For Girls: First Impressions when you meet a guy - is 5 foot six inches tall enough for you? Or do you prefer taller?
Q. Hello This question is mostly for girls Do you find attractive a guy who is 5.6 feet or maybe girls want a guy who is taller. Well I know some responses may be 'a guy must be loyal,caring etc' but my question is related with first impression. T...
A. 30 October 2012: I'm 5'10" so he'd be a bit smaller than I am, but height (or lack thereof) never takes away from the overall impression, for me. It's usually the guys that have a problem with me being taller than them than the other way around. ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have this problem where you're really good friends with someone one day, and the next day you wish you weren't?
Q. Like, I will be the first to admit that I love making online friends. It's so much easier to communicate, and there's no judgement in between. It's fun, right? But there's one guy I'm friends with. I've been online friends with him for about... 7 ...
A. 30 October 2012: Oh yeah, very relatable.
Online friendships can become very intense because of the anonymity. You don't have your usual barriers up that you have with people in real life. Combined with the fact people fall in love with the idea of someone ... (read in full...)
I don't know what's wrong with him. He's being a jerk out of nowhere. PLEASE, I need advice.
Q. Sorry if this is a bit lengthy, but it's well worth the read. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We broke up in August because I had an attitude problem, but it was my birth control that made me have an "attitude problem"...
A. 30 October 2012: He could just be overworked. Working as a paramedic is taxing both physically and mentally. You face things people in other professions don't. You have days where people die in your hands and there's nothing you can change about that. At his age ... (read in full...)
Vitamin supplements that could help improve my memory?
Q. Hey everyone, Just a heads up its not a relationship question,but they are so many wise people out here,so I thought I would reach out to you guys.. So I have a very very important and life changing exam in december,and I'm putting in a lot of work...
A. 29 October 2012: First of all: those new fancy pills, most of them disappear from the scene as soon as they get there. General rule: if it sounds too good to be true, it is. The industry, especially in America, is mostly driven by money and they'll do anything to ... (read in full...)
If your 15 year old daughter had a boyfriend, how would you react?
Q. Okay, so i am 15, and i want to tell my mom about my boyfriend. If your daughter came to you and told you this, how would you react? How would you want to be told?...
A. 29 October 2012: I see many here have this minimum age requirement when it comes to dating. Reality is that teens are a stubborn bunch and they will often do what they want regardless. That's why my mom always told me: if you do something you think I won't approve ... (read in full...)
Who do I believe? My friend? Or the guy?
Q. Sorry in advance, this is probably going to be long. I've been joking up with this guy since July. From the beginning we said it wasn't going to be serious and if either of us wanted it to end we would say it flat out. We got closer over the weeks ...
A. 29 October 2012: I also fully agree with Cerberus. I also find it a bit sad you'd doubt the word of your friend because of this guy, who has done absolutely nothing to earn your trust or loyalty. ... (read in full...)
What happened to the concept that guys like a natural look? I'm invisible to guys when I go out with her!
Q. Can someone explain what is so amazing about my friend that everyone likes her and all the guys i meet first meet first, set her and then want her!! On nights out she gets so much male attention you would think she was megan fox. She's mixed rac...
A. 27 October 2012: Girls like your friend will always get loads of attention in bars and establishments like that, because the guys there are looking for a piece of ass, not a nice person to get together with. Why do you think she only gets complimented on her looks? ... (read in full...)
Its my first relationship but it doesn't feel normal!
Q. Me and this guy we have known each for 1 month now. We were complete strangers when we first met. Starting from the 5th day we known each he was talking about how much he loved me and how much he cares for me because of how much we have in common ...
A. 27 October 2012: I'd like to echo what the others have said: he's just trying to buy sex from you. Once he gets that, he'll dump you. So drop this guy! Trust me, there are lots out there that will treat you right!... (read in full...)
Ladies: Is it a deal breaker if a guy is bald?
Q. I have a crush on this kinda shy younger girl I work with. She's very cool, shy, friendly and I happen to think she's beautiful. The problem is I'm 10 years older than her and I'm bald. We wear hats where we work so she probably doesn't know thi...
A. 27 October 2012: I'm this girl's age and I don't give a damn. Guys can look hot with hair and without. I've dated a variety of guys, some of which had full, thick heads of hair and others that were bald or getting there. Their lasting impression had nothing to do ... (read in full...)
Twelve years together. But now his porn addiction has taken a nasty turn for the worse. Should I dump him?
Q. My man friend (been together 12 years) has a porn addiction. In the last 6 months..he's given out his phone number so these nasty ladies can contact him by text. He say's it's just a game. The other day I looked at his history and discover...
A. 27 October 2012: Oh dear, he sounds like an addict in denial. And those...you can't help them or make them see clearly. They need to get there on their own and IF that even happens, he usually has to hit rock bottom first. Do you want to be around when that ... (read in full...)
He's 64 and I'm not interested. How do I discourage him without ruining the car share system that benefits us all?
Q. I am part of a car share group where one drives and the other three are passengers. We rotate who drives. It works OK. In fact it's very convenient. But two days out of every fortnight there are either one or two of the others not present. Thes occ...
A. 27 October 2012: I'm glad you talked to your hubby about this and have someone to support you.
But really, do not put up with this for the sake of convenience. Trust me, it's not worth it. He's either not picking up the hints or purposely ignoring them hoping y... (read in full...)
After 5 years he's still putting off us moving in together. Is this relationship going anywhere?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and we are both 24 years old. We get on well most of the time and love each other a lot. I have my own house but he still lives at home with his mum. I'm getting to a point in my life where i am ...
A. 26 October 2012: I think you're moving too fast for him. You have your own house, you're independent, while he isn't much further along in life than the average teen. I think he keeps putting it off because he thinks he'll be ready by then, but then a year goes by ... (read in full...)
Our daughter has admitted she's marrying for money and we are very upset!
Q. I have issues with my daughter marrying. Not her partner, but her motivations for marrying him. Our daughter's 19, and her boyfriend's 22, she told us she's fairly wealthy - we had no idea when we met him, in fact he lives in a fairly normal...
A. 23 October 2012: Give her your opinion on it. You cannot protect her from doing what she ends up doing, but you sure as hell can give her a piece of your mind and hope it gets through her thick skull.
For starters, she's naive if she thinks all that money (=... (read in full...)
I'm jealous that his 16 year old daughter is pregnant!
Q. Ok I know this is going to generate negative responses but here goes. My longtime baby daddy just informed me that his 16 yr old is 5 months pregnant. One, I can't shake off that he waited 5 months to tell me and second, I can't help but to feel ...
A. 23 October 2012: I'm not going to bash you. Your feelings are very understandable. What puzzles me the most is how they could possibly be happy about their underage daughter getting pregnant. It's not something I would be proud of, if she was my daughter. It's ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm almost being stalked by older guys
Q. Hi I'm 19 years old and although you may read this and thinking I'm being stuck up and selfish it's not like that at all. Throughout most of my childhood I had low self esteem it got worse when I started my first year in high school I was bul...
A. 22 October 2012: He's creepy! He doesn't even respect your personal space! I know how hard it is to be firm to guys, as I myself tend to be too nice. It's something I really needed to teach myself to do, because in the end being upfront and saying what's on your ... (read in full...)
I'm so good looking, its annoying! How can I approach a guy for sex without getting into anything serious?
Q. I am good looking to the limit of annoyance, it caused me a great deal of trouble looking the way I do. I had major psychological issues because of my looks, I isolated my self thinking everyone interested in me because I am pretty I felt li...
A. 22 October 2012: Okay, so what I'm gathering here is that you want a one-night stand or a FWB arrangement. So why not say yes when a guy approaches you? Guys that are quick to do that are usually not interested in anything serious anyway, so why not have sexy times ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm almost being stalked by older guys
Q. Hi I'm 19 years old and although you may read this and thinking I'm being stuck up and selfish it's not like that at all. Throughout most of my childhood I had low self esteem it got worse when I started my first year in high school I was bul...
A. 21 October 2012: Let me clear this up for you: someone who keeps pursuing you even when he knows you have a boyfriend is NOT a friend. He is not interested in being friends, he's interested in sex. He doesn't respect you and for him to respect your wishes he needs ... (read in full...)
Are long distance relationships/friendships really THAT bad?
Q. For the record, I AM not in a LDR. I'm asking this because I constantly see people bashing long distance relations. Or when somebody says that they have a friend online, people immediately think the worst. I have been in LDRs when I was in 6th to 9...
A. 21 October 2012: I currently am and always have been very active online since I was a young teen. I have formed online friendships, some of which have been going on for 5 years or more. I eventually ended up meeting them in real life and it's been nice.
BUT w... (read in full...)
Is it possible to resign yourself to a life without love?
Q. I just want to say this and get it off my chest really. Comment if you wish. I'm getting on for fifty, and have been married for twenty years, most of them unhappily. My wife suffered from serious post-partum depression after our children were bor...
A. 20 October 2012: Thanks for the follow-up, OP. Sorry I'm late in replying. Keep visiting the friends you have where you live. Keep your social life going. As for the other woman, please do keep your distance. I'm afraid you'll lose her if you get too close. Your ... (read in full...)
My husband's interactions with other men make me very uncomfortable, is he gay?
Q. I have been having suspicions that my husband could be gay for awhile now. When he is talking to other men he is a little to friendly when talking to them. He has friends he talks to that I have never met.When he goes to shake another man's hand he ...
A. 19 October 2012: It's hard to say. From what you've written it could very well be possible, but since you're the only one providing the context I cannot see the whole situation. You may be looking too much into it.
On the other hand his reaction to you bringing... (read in full...)
He's a good guy but soooo boring!
Q. I ve met this really nice guy, who I date now for 6 months. He is everything any woman can wish for: handsome, has a good job, good natured, we managed not to have a single fight, gentleman. But, I can't believe I m actually saying it, he i...
A. 19 October 2012: I also need a guy I can talk to and have fun with. If I can't do that I don't see the point in being with him. Do yourself and this guy a favor and break up with him. He wants to settle and have a family. In your heart you already know that's not ... (read in full...)
Realistically, what do 20 something year old girls think of men with long hair?
Q. I've always been really self-conscious about my appearance, namely because I have pale-skin, red hair, freckles, and glasses, while the rest of my family all has dark Native-American hair, eyes, and skin. As such, I was always picked-on for being ...
A. 15 October 2012: Whether it's "in style" or not doesn't really matter. What matters is what works for your facial features. Some guys really rock long hair. Others look better with it short. I'd have to see pictures to decide what I'd recommend to you.
One r... (read in full...)
There are decent guys like me who get no where. Why do some girls allow guys to treat them in disrespectful ways?
Q. My friends are always giving me a hard time calling me nasty names because they say I treat girls "too nice". At first I use to brush it off but now it is getting really old hearing them go on and on about how I better check to see if I still ah...
A. 13 October 2012: I'd like to have someone like you as a boyfriend. Person1234 hit the nail on the head: the issue is with the people you call 'friends'. They are what me and my friends refer to as douche bags. They think they're kings but the fact they need a gal to ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to resign yourself to a life without love?
Q. I just want to say this and get it off my chest really. Comment if you wish. I'm getting on for fifty, and have been married for twenty years, most of them unhappily. My wife suffered from serious post-partum depression after our children were bor...
A. 13 October 2012: I disagree with everyone who says you should simply resign yourself to living without love. Other people may be content choosing to do this, but I can tell from your post you're not one of them. Plus think it's an insult to life itself as it has so ... (read in full...)
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