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... Send *adzia1127 a private message | | | *adzia1127's profile: I guess you could count the seven years I spent at university as my qualifications. Yet as I have gotten older, my life has given me a lot more insight into people and how life plays out then all the professors combined.
I work in the community I live, where I also volunteer, run a local jogging group, work with the Hispanic community with my husband, and I am a soccer, track, swim mom.
Yet I like a good laugh and my icon is one of them. If you look closely you can see the big hair, puffy sleeves and shoulder pads of the 80's, hey a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to pay for school and modelling is a good way to do it. Now my family and I get a good laugh over some of the pictures, they are a riot. |
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Every problem we have he makes my fault!
Q. I have been with my bf for quite a while now and every problem that seems to arise he always puts it out on me! for example i asked him to not ever do drugs around me because it hurts me to see him do it and he promised that he would never. well ...
A. 22 May 2006: How someone chooses to act, it is not your fault, and it will never be your fault.
This is using a typical abusive style of control, shifting blame and not accepting responsibility for their actions. I do wonder how long you've been dating, beca... (read in full...)
How do i stop being such a flirt?
Q. Help! I am a flirt!. I have been in a relationship with my b/f for almost 7 years. I never ever used to flirt the way I do, when we go out and drink alcohol I turn into a big flirt @ it makes me feel sick, I am so disgusted with myself. I am 25. I ...
A. 22 May 2006: You are setting yourself up to cheat on your boyfriend. You can blame it on the alcohol or admit the empty void you're feeling.
You are in a dead end relationship and your heart wants more. As long as you stay in this relationship you will... (read in full...)
Scared to take things further with my boyfriend incase I get pregnant!!
Q. Been seeing my boyfrind for about 5 weeks now, he has now began to try and iniciate sex with me. i turned him down and asked him to stop. but5 now when i speak with him on the phone he is realy on bout sex all the time! He even rang me and made...
A. 8 May 2006: NO WOMAN should be pushed into SEX ever, no matter what age, no matter if she is a virgin or not. If you don't want to have sex with this person, then good for you. He is showing a lack of love and respect. If he really loved you he would never ... (read in full...)
Did she leave her marriage for me or because she wants released??
Q. A few months ago a girl at work and I slept together.. this has grown into a some sorta relationship and we go out together as much as possible. she is married, 2 kids... She has recently filed for a divorce and has told me she did that because ...
A. 8 May 2006: To leave a marriage even a bad one for another relationship is a very cowardly act and often is repeated.
Be cautious, for even if this works out, you will have major problems with other acts of cowardliness by this individual. ... (read in full...)
How do you know when you've met "the one"?
Q. How do you know someone is the one for you? How much do you compromise? How long do you wait for someone to be the person you need them to be? How many times do you start over before you get it right, and should you really be starting over to get ...
A. 8 May 2006: I don't often share my story of my husband and I for it sounds very sappy, but it is what real love stories are made out of. Hopefully it will give you hope that fairy tales do happen.
Years ago I sat on the back porch with just a frie... (read in full...)
How do you know when you've met "the one"?
Q. How do you know someone is the one for you? How much do you compromise? How long do you wait for someone to be the person you need them to be? How many times do you start over before you get it right, and should you really be starting over to get ...
A. 8 May 2006: How you know someone is the one for you, it's a feeling of magic, (to quote a movie)it sort of feels like coming home but no home home you have ever known. The feeling is full of love and trust and it is a pure magical experience.
How much to c... (read in full...)
Husband would rather look at porn than get intimate with me, What should I do??
Q. I want to know what to do im married but my husband just doesnt seem to want to make love to me, he would prefer to look at porn on the net an on videos ive tried everything what can i do...
A. 3 May 2006: Porn can be an addiction as much as drugs or alcohol. Just with any addiction the addicted can't change until they want to change.
You have to face that your husband is addicted and needs to be treated as an addict. You can try an inte... (read in full...)
How do I leave my husband for someone else without hurting him?
Q. hi i am married with 3 children but i do want to leave my husband as i dont love him any more i know this as i get all this feelings about someone else but what should i do as i know this will really hurt him . ...
A. 2 May 2006: With more information it makes more sense. What you have described is a controlling man and that is a form of abuse. When abuse starts in the beginning it shows it's ugly head by being controlling and can lead to death.
You can't stop thin... (read in full...)
How do I leave my husband for someone else without hurting him?
Q. hi i am married with 3 children but i do want to leave my husband as i dont love him any more i know this as i get all this feelings about someone else but what should i do as i know this will really hurt him . ...
A. 2 May 2006: Whatever you do don't cheat, and stop emotionally cheating. You are just hurting yourself and those that love you. It's never a good idea to ruin the trust of children, and break up a family over an affair. Any relationship takes work. It is easy ... (read in full...)
Can you fall in love over the net?
Q. I am currently involved in an online/long distance relationship. Can you fall in love over the net? Is it expecting too much for me to want him to restrain from chatting to other women, especially ex's or girls who he had a previous interest in?? ...
A. 2 May 2006: Yes you can fall in love, with the idea, but you need face to face time to confirm love. Many scholars have pointed out that the online environment is reminiscent of the 1800's mail order brides. A man would put a profile of himself in the newspape... (read in full...)
Would like a separate life from boyfriend, What should I do?
Q. I lived with my boyfriend and he threw me out of his house, entirely devastating me. He said he couldn't handle being with me. I can never forgive him for what he did but we do still see each other. I have ended up living some where I don't want to ...
A. 2 May 2006: It sounds like you are already going in the right direction and getting involved in new things. You might want to look into some counselling to help you in the right direction. But until then think about who you want to be. What do you need to ... (read in full...)
We're getting married in a few days but she doesn't enjoy sex...
Q. We got married a few days and my wife dosent enjoy sex. She says she dosent feel anything during sex and it is painful. We had sex 3 times now. Is this normal for woman for first few days or how can we overcome this....
A. 2 May 2006: If her favorite thing about sex is cuddling after, you're doing it wrong. You need to educate yourself. Get a book read up on women's anatomy, and how to pleasure a woman. Porn will not help you here, you need a real book with real help. Women are ... (read in full...)
Vaginal intercourse doesn't do much for me..
Q. Alright guys. Simple question. I need tips. I can't have orgasms during sex. Clitoral orgasms are fine. My boyfriend is amazing at giving me those with his fingers, but penetrating does nothing? Advice?...
A. 29 April 2006: It is very normal for women to have a hard time having a vaginal orgasm. Yet a pure vaginal orgasm is an amazing thing to experience.
When a woman has sex it is 50% in her head, Men are seduced by tactile sensations, sight, touch, etc. Wome... (read in full...)
My daughter is dating a much older man. What should I do?
Q. Recently I found out that my 15-year-old daughter is is dating a 46-year-old man. She's not planning to marry him or anything; just dating him. However, the 31-year age gap makes me shiver; I fear that this guy is up to no good. How do I bro...
A. 29 April 2006: Call the radio station ask for the boss of the radio station ask for the spelling of his name.
Then call the local lwa enforcement give his name and any info from emails and your daughter's text msg on her phone. You have confiscated her phon... (read in full...)
How can I initiate my sexual encounters with my experienced partner?
Q. Hiya, i recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend of four months (he's 19, im 18). I dont regret starting a sexual relationship with him, but the thing is i'm a bit unsure as to what i'm actually supposed to do during sex. It sounds stupid but he's ...
A. 29 April 2006: Get the book 'Everything your mother never told you about SEX'. It will answer all your questions. It is written by a couple doctors that have heard and seen it all, in a matter of fact style. It is exactly what the title says.
It is even bett... (read in full...)
How can people love those who treat them badly??
Q. Please cupid helpers enlighten me. Some women claim to love there men when they can treated quite badly. one example - I have a female friend of 40yrs who loves this guy who treats her quite badly eg. picks arguments, doesnt pay his share of the ...
A. 29 April 2006: Battered women's syndrome (which is also seen in men) is a hard thing to break. Women and men who are in very bad relationships are counted as 'battered' even if it is only mental, financial, or verbal abuse.
These women have invested their whol... (read in full...)
I have strong feelings for a gay guy!!
Q. Hey, I just probably want to get it of my chest, and advice. For quite some time i've really had some strong feelings for a guy, one major problem his gay. I know why do this to myself! I've tried brushing it aside, brining logic into it- his gay ...
A. 29 April 2006: You can take a chance and tell this man what you feel and allow him to respond. Who knows he might swing both ways, you'll never know until you ask.
OR Time will heal this. You can distance yourself from this person now and give yourself the ... (read in full...)
He cares me for like crazy but this grey area is hard for us both!!
Q. Hello, I really love this guy who also happens to be my best friend. At one stage he said we could never be anything more than friends but now he has agreed to see if there can be something more between us. He says he will renounce the world if som...
A. 29 April 2006: All you can do is be is honest with him. Tell him exactly what you want with this relationship.
Though don't push him into going faster then he is comfortable with.... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but is not in love with me!!
Q. Hi, im 19 years old and i have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years. But now he has broken up with me. He says he feels different, that he loves me but is no longer in love with me. Help! What can i do to show him that we are meant for each ...
A. 29 April 2006: It is interesting that has been 5 years. This often gets deemed as the 5 year itch in psychology circles. One person will say they need a break or say they don't love the other person anymore. Often they already have their eye on what they want to ... (read in full...)
My daughter is dating a much older man. What should I do?
Q. Recently I found out that my 15-year-old daughter is is dating a 46-year-old man. She's not planning to marry him or anything; just dating him. However, the 31-year age gap makes me shiver; I fear that this guy is up to no good. How do I bro...
A. 27 April 2006: You are the parent, your job is to protect your child. You need to remove her from the situation ASAP. It is best if she feels like it is her idea. If that doesn't work then you're the parent, ground her, bar her windows, take her cellphone away, ... (read in full...)
Thought I loved the wrong guy, Now I've lost my boyfriend, What should I do?
Q. I thought i was really in love with this 1 boy when i had a boy friend but my boyfrind finished me today and it made me realise how much i actually loved my boyfriend what should i do?...
A. 27 April 2006: You need to figure out why you seem to always want (love) what you don't have.
What you have in laymen terms is a cheating heart. In actual terms you are trying to fill a void that never seems to get filled so your always looking for that next... (read in full...)
Our relationship started as a fair tale... But now it's a nightmare!
Q. ..!!please help!!..My boyfriend and i have been dating for about 5 and 1/2 months now it started off as a fiary tale now its slowly falling apart. We see each other around 3 times a week which is not to bad as im still at school, when we are ...
A. 23 April 2006: You have described a classic abusive personality in your boyfriend. The first warning signs are control issues, then manipulation, then verbal attacks, then physical attacks, and then even death. Most GFs smarten up at the first backhand blow by ... (read in full...)
Embarrased about going about with my mum, What should I do?
Q. I don't really know how to say this without it sounding stupid, but here goes... My mum and I are really close and she takes me and my little sister to town with her quite a lot. I really enjoy these trips but I get really nervous when I pass oth...
A. 22 April 2006: It takes insecurity to taunt someone who has a good thing. It might be a person who has allowed the opinion of others to hide their relationship with their mother. Though most likely it will be someone who wishes they had what you have, and will ... (read in full...)
I am in love with my husbands best friend, What should I do?
Q. Well, i have been in love with my parnters friend really from the fist moment I set eyes on him a good 10 years ago. He is always nice to me and realises how I am feeling and that my husband could treat me better. Says things like shouldn't of ...
A. 22 April 2006: Cheating is cheating! If you don't want to be married then talk to a lawyer. DO NOT CHEAT! Do not use this guy as an excuse to leave your marriage, do it yourself on your own.
When you're free then approach the subject of dating with any man you ... (read in full...)
Am Married, But I love my Former Lover, What should I do??
Q. ok. to make a long story short. i have been married for 3 years now. my life involves a lot of traveling and my husband and i are constantly separated. our latest separation was a year and a half long. i met a wonderful guy, fell in love with him ...
A. 22 April 2006: I won't patronize you with fluff about following your 'true emotions' or guesses into your life, from me your going to get the cold hard truth.
Right now is not a time to make any life altering plans. The hormones rushing through your body... (read in full...)
I'm 22, he's 40 and our relationship is complicated. How can we make it work?
Q. I am 22 This year and my boyfriend is 40. were finding it realy hard but we get on do well, we have the same starsign and enjoy the same things and sometimes we forget the number were labeled by. hes already been married and has a 13year old. ...
A. 22 April 2006: You have signed up for a tough relationship and it is just going to get tougher. There is no miracle wave of a wand that can make it better.
Counseling might help build a stronger bond, but that wont stop the stares and comments.
I won't... (read in full...)
Why am I going limp inside of her?
Q. I seem to have developed erection problems, I cant understand. sometimes I am fine but other times I cant even bring my self off. when my wife gives me oral its perfect but when it comes to intercourse, I can get it in but it goes limp. as if I ...
A. 22 April 2006: This could be many things. It could be linked to stress, porn, libido, age, etc.
The only way your going to get the answers you need is to go to your doctor and be honest with what is going on. A little blue pill might solve all your prob... (read in full...)
Kissing cousins... right or wrong?? What do you all think?
Q. Hi, I'm from England and me and my first cousin have fallen for each other we seem to spend all our time together and we feel really strongly for each other. There is less than two years seperating us but we met in sept 2006 whilst we always knew of ...
A. 22 April 2006: Your major obstacle is not your relationship with each other. Many places, families, cultures in the world encourage cousin hook-ups. The danger lies in certain life debilitating genes passed inside a family, they lay dormant until two people with ... (read in full...)
He's too busy with his family to see me, and it's really peeved me off. What should I do?
Q. now I'm really really peeved. i've given enough time a week, and I've only seen my boyfriend once,since he's been here for the birth of his nephew, and he lives far away that I rarely see him! but he has time for everyone else but when it comes to ...
A. 22 April 2006: When dating your priorities should be family, partner, friends. After the next step and your partner is family then it goes immediate family (partner then kids) then extended family then friends.
It is not wise to make a dating partner ... (read in full...)
Shoud I carry on with my counselling?
Q. I'm so confused at the moment whether to continue with my counselling. I've only recently started attending counselling to sort out some minor problems which all seem to blow up into something major when something is going on in my life. But I ...
A. 20 April 2006: Don't give up!
Look into counselling from your school, to keep cost down.
Talking to your friends is good but it won't get to the root of your problems. That takes hours of focused attention on you. That type of conversation makes you a ... (read in full...)
I'm washing my hair...
Q. I need to get out of a date tonight-what excuse can I use?...
A. 16 April 2006: Simple excuses:
Sorry something came up
Sorry I am too tired to go out tonight
Sorry I have to get this homework/project/experiment done tonight
Believable excuses:
Sorry My best friend called and she needs me now
Sorry I forgot I had prom... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I look at these pictures AND spank the monkey?
Q. I have a question, and I'm especially interested in hearing from the women who are bothered when their husbands or boyfriends are looking at porn. You see, I don't really like hard-core porn and rarely bother with it. I do look at other pictures ...
A. 16 April 2006: It breaks a woman's heart that she isn't the one that rings your bell.
It doesn't matter if it is the airbrushed women in porn or cartoons. It doesn't matter if it is your neighbor's grandpa or your family dog.
It all is cheating the love... (read in full...)
Have I fallen out of love with my One True Love?
Q. I am a 16yr old and have been in a (far away kinda distant...so no I have not seen or been with him in real as of yet..) relationship for the past year and few months with the most wonderful and sweetest person. We love each other MUCH more than any...
A. 15 April 2006:
First and foremost tell him you want to slow down and cut out the sex talk. If he resist or still pushes the topic then your gut feeling is telling you something you need to listen to.
Second tell him you want him to use your name for it i... (read in full...)
He always looks at porn and masturbates everywhere..even when talking to me on the phone! What should I do?
Q. im 18 years old and ive been going out with my boyfriend for over a year now. my problem is that he always looks at porn and masturbates (even at my house on my computer, on the phone with me, ...and once he looked at porn in the school library and ...
A. 15 April 2006:
It is not wrong for you to get angry. A man in a relationship using porn, is cheating on his partner. The old adage boys will be boys is for little boys and their trucks noises while playing and stinky socks, not for the excuse for men whac... (read in full...)
I txt his friend and told him to ask this other girl but he doesnt fancy me!!
Q. Sorry This Is Kinda Long :( I'm a 12 year old girl who has NEVER EVER had a boyfriend. now, thats not a bad thing, i'm still young, i couldn't really give a dam, rather wait and find someone worth it than waste your youth having crummy boyfrien...
A. 14 April 2006: Sing the praises to the heavens a smart girl!!!!
You go girl stay away from the dating scene as long as you can. It only leads to broken hearts, crushed dreams, and guilt until your old enough to go to the next level (marriage). If you have... (read in full...)
Never had problems with sex before, but with Joe, he couldn't even get it in!
Q. I have been off and on with, let's call him "Joe", for almost a year and half. The on and off has been do to me being uncertain of what I want. Anyways I ended up back with "Joe" and he's great. This time I feel for him hook, line, and sinker. ...
A. 14 April 2006: This is a problem with patience.
That area of the women's body gets tighter with sexual arousal or can be from a lengthy absence from sex. Use lots of edible lubricant and have him patiently use his fingers to massage you open, or do it your... (read in full...)
Can our profound love and care for each other get us past the fact that I feel starved for sex?
Q. HELP!!!...boyf has low/erratic sex drive. I am a female in my mid 20’s. My boyfriend is in his late 30’s. He is the most wonderful man I have met. He has had A LOT of problems in his life, I can’t even begin to explain them all, but he is a nice d...
A. 14 April 2006: No one has the same sex drive and none of us are perfect. Whether we are never content or have a low sex drive, we each have flaws.
Every flaw is a pro or a con and if you can only see it as a con, then you can encourage a change or leave.
If ... (read in full...)
He doesnt work and never goes out but says I have let him down!!
Q. HI ve been with my bf 5 years we have 1 child and live together..trouble is he doesnt work...he blames me and says i nag to much but even when i told him i was pregnant he didnt work i worked full time and now i work part time supporting all of ...
A. 14 April 2006: This form of emotional blackmail is very abusive and will slowly deteriorate everything wonderful about you and it will do the same to your children if YOU don't stop it. It is not an easy thing to do but you have a little wonderful soul needing ... (read in full...)
I love blowing all my wages on shoes, clothing, etc. How do I begin to start budgeting? All ideas welcome.
Q. ok this may not seem like a huge problem, but it is to me...basically, I can't stop spending money. Whenever i have money I am itching to spend it, just to buy things, not because i actually need stuff. When my wages come through, the first th...
A. 11 April 2006: A budget is like a diet it won't work unless you make life changes. Here are a few ideas I hope one or more works for you.
1. A simple way to curb spending is to start a money diary. A small ledger or notebook where you list EVERYTHING you buy ... (read in full...)
Extremely confused, does he like me or not?
Q. I have a complicated question to ask. If a man thinks that all the boys fancy you, he finds you attractive he checks you out and gazes at your breasts when he thinks noone is looking does he fancy you? If a man tells you you're lovely and tries...
A. 8 April 2006: You knows he fancies you or you would not have written what you did.
So is this a round about way of asking if you should take that leap of faith?
Yet from what you have written there are a few warning flags. He teases you until he has to a... (read in full...)
Everything was fine before I went on holiday now she wants time apart!!!
Q. hi, Me and my girlfriend have been together for just over 17months. We've always been very close and i treat her like an angel. I see her nearly everyday and we're always talking about the future and whats going to happen (which she usually brings u...
A. 6 April 2006: There is really only one thing you can do, tell her if she needs time you will give her that time. It might break your heart, she might not come back, but if you truelly treat her like an angel you will give her whatever she asks for.
Cons... (read in full...)
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