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Have I fallen out of love with my One True Love?

Tagged as: Faded love, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

I am a 16yr old and have been in a (far away kinda distant...so no I have not seen or been with him in real as of yet..) relationship for the past year and few months with the most wonderful and sweetest person.

We love each other MUCH more than any action or word could compare...at least I used to. All of a sudden it just all feels well..like it's disappeared. No matter what he does, it just feels like he doesn't love me. I dont know why. It confuses me far too much that I'm worried it will make me lose the only one true love for me.

He respects me as a decent lady (I use lady since he thinks I'm decent and all, otherwise I'm still a teen). We have only 2 yrs age difference, with him being 19 turned 19 on April). He goes on a lot of holidays, far too many to count.

He left this morning and so we had all night to speak to each other (online as always...) but I just wanted to leave. I didn't want to talk to him another minute and I myself have no idea why.

I ended up crying at one point. Even my mum and sister said I should talk to him since he was to leave the next day but I refused.

We talk about sex (which teenager doesn't?) but now when he talks about it I lose the jittery funny feeling inside. It's like an ordinary topic, like asking how are you? And immediately you automatically respond.

I force myself to talk about it with him to please him and he doesn't know that. I keep thinking that all he wants is sex, but my inner mind tells me "no, he loves you really".

He hardly uses my name; instead calls me Angel. He can spell it right and all and it's not too confusing a name but he can't pronounce it still..1 yr...and he doesn't know anyway. My mum and sis said it's not a big deal..I'm lost. Please help urgently.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006):

Unfortunately it's the case that people can fall out of love.

From the tone of your message and with what you have said, this seems to be the case.

If things don't work out, you should feel comfort knowing that your first love ended on good terms. There are so many people who loose their first love to cheating, lyes, deception and anger and they consequently bring that hurt with them to the next relationship.

It's a very special thing to part from someone with good memories and to not part on bad terms.

I think you know what you want to do - you just need to stick to your decision and know that it's for the best.

Good luck with it.

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A female reader, Jadzia1127 United States +, writes (15 April 2006):

Jadzia1127 agony aunt

First and foremost tell him you want to slow down and cut out the sex talk. If he resist or still pushes the topic then your gut feeling is telling you something you need to listen to.

Second tell him you want him to use your name for it is yours and it means something coming from him. If he resist or still uses pet names then your gut is telling you something you need to listen to.

Thirdly pick up a few hobbies and if you don't want to chat tell him you have things to do and you will catch him next time. You have the right not to chat with anyone even if it is just to get some sleep, do homework, or paint a picture. If he resists then you know he wants your undivided attention (still take your time for yourself), but if he doesn't then your gut is telling you something you need to listen to.

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A female reader, stephanie +, writes (14 April 2006):

come on. you're 16 years of age. love might seem sweet at first but thats not always the case but i do feel for you. im 14 and going through the same thing i used to love him but now im not so sure if i do maybe its the things he does maybe you need a break talk 2 him u never know it might just work.

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