New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244938 questions, 1084216 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*inkz agony aunt

*inkz

South Africa  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *inkz to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *inkz a private message

*inkz's Ratings
Excellent56%
Average18%
Poor26%
*inkz's profile:

I am young and yes i still make mistakes, but i can help you through yours if you let me.

12345Next > [5 pages, 140 answers]

Will he ever man up to her? Or am I a rebound?

Q.   I hope this doesn't come off mean but I need a few questions answered Maybe someone has went through this. My boyfriend of 8 months left his wife n family to be with me. I rent from them and that's how I got to know him. He's been married for almost ...

A.   20 June 2012: im going to be frank with you, you need to understand that you ended a 10year marriage, you cant honestly expect her to accept you with open arms and just allow you in her childrens lives. Who is to say that the kids will accept you. just beca... (read in full...)

Will he ever man up to her? Or am I a rebound?

Q.   I hope this doesn't come off mean but I need a few questions answered Maybe someone has went through this. My boyfriend of 8 months left his wife n family to be with me. I rent from them and that's how I got to know him. He's been married for almost ...

A.   20 June 2012: im going to be frank with you, you need to understand that you ended a 10year marriage, you cant honestly expect her to accept you with open arms and just allow you in her childrens lives. Who is to say that the kids will accept you. just beca... (read in full...)

Do you think what he's doing is ok?

Q.   My bf doesn't always tell me when he's been going out for drinks after work with co-workers or to the bar with his buddies. I thought he was open about everything (I've never given him trouble about going for drinks) but apparently there are some ...

A.   20 June 2012: My opinion, you have every right to be upset. he doesn't need to tell you the details but why would he hide things from you unless he has something to hide. Not telling you from time to time is ok, but its also a lack of respect. out of pure ... (read in full...)

Is this a good text to send my ex?

Q.   Is this a good text to send my ex? We ended on alright terms due to external reasons (though reasons that could be worked through in my opinion) and he seemed DESPERATE to stay friends, however 2 weeks down the line we had an argument basicall...

A.   20 June 2012: i think the text is good to send, not too needy not to pushy, but you getting your point across. Im sorry you are going through this it isnt easy to tell someone that you feel deeply for that you dont want to speak to them. But like you said you... (read in full...)

I can't let go of either one, help!

Q.   Let's call one X and the other Y...X and i have been together for over a year,we've gone through problems(as with every couple) but we split up a while ago. During the course of our relationship i met Y and Y is totally great! So as time went by X ...

A.   19 June 2012: To me it sounds you cant let go of x because he has made the choice not to get back together. you yourself said that you drifted from him. its nature to want what you cant have. and yes things would have changed and the relationship will be ... (read in full...)

How can I tell my mother I'm not a virgin anymore?

Q.   I'm almost 17 and my mom doesn't know that I'm sexually active. I lost my virginity at a young age and I feel like I'm old enough to tell her that I'm not a virgin, however I'm scared because she had me when she was my age. How can I tell her and ...

A.   14 March 2012: Its no an easy question yet it is a very important one. As a mom, i think i would be both dissapointed and proud of my daughter if she came and told me. Your mom may be hurt as she may not want the same future for you that she had with having ... (read in full...)

Why don't I feel pregnant??

Q.   hI i'M 19 and 11 weeks pregnant with my fiance of 2 years and we've decided to keep it but my question is why don't I feel pregnant? I mean I'm not showing much and I havent had my first scan yet because we only decided to keep it recently and my d...

A.   12 November 2007: Hey sweety, Well lets start with congrats! And to answer your question, if you not feeling pregnant yet don't worry! Im now 7 months pregnant and for my first trimester i didn't feel a thing, i only really started feeling it at around 15 ... (read in full...)

I'm wondering if my guy is cheating with my friend..what do you think???

Q.   I think my boyfriend is cheating on me with an old old friend of mine. we've been together for about 2 years and he has cheated before (dont give me shit about it, we're all abit deluded when we really love someone...) thing is, i am not up for ...

A.   29 August 2007: Hey sweets Well lets just say the sooner you get rid of him the better! It does sound like he's cheating and you don't need that shit in your life! I know love is Blind so i'm not even going to hassle you bout him cheating before! I've gon... (read in full...)

The girl i used to like now likes me. But I've got a girlfriend now. What do I do?

Q.   okay well my problem is as follows Im 17 and theres this girl 14 going on 15. i used to know her very well and we went away on tour together, i was, lets say madly in love with her but nobody knew as they all thought i was just playing with her as a...

A.   29 August 2007: Hey hunny Well this is my theory, its not fair to your GF if you thinking of another girl, in a way its cheating and you don't seem the one to cheat otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question! Like you said you would give anything to be w... (read in full...)

My guy of 3 years slept with another girl - several times! What should I do?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have a child together, he works away alot, I found out a month ago he has been unfaithfull to me several times when working away, and slept with another girl. we seperated, he now wants be back, saying ...

A.   28 August 2007: Hey sweety, both Flowergirl and beckto have made good statements! If he has changed then you should give him the chance! We all make mistakes and only realise how much we regret it once we lose something or someone we love! Give him the chance, ... (read in full...)

I dont know which guy to choose! If any!

Q.   I wrote you because i was having trouble letting go of the man who dumped me for his baby momma. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship before the baby momma thing. Now the ex before the baby momma has asked me to maybe try again. I am really n...

A.   27 August 2007: Shame sweet pea, the emotional tug of war, not lekker! But you shouldn't be with a guy that you don't love in the way that you should be loving, it not fair on both of you, cause he needs as much love as you do! Its not fair to him and its not ... (read in full...)

How do i ask this guy where we are going? I dont want to come across as too heavy and scare him away!

Q.   Ive been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks but i want to have that dreaded converstation of "where do we stand" type thing because i want to know whether we are together offically as a couple or whether its casual. how can i bring it up and what ...

A.   27 August 2007: Hey sweets, its not an easy topic to beat around the bush but there are always ways! If you don't want it to be to serious for him, do it when you having fun! When you both laughing and enjoying each others company and then when you feel the time... (read in full...)

Since i've seen him all my feelings have come flooding back!!

Q.   Me and my ex boyfriend have known each other since we were about 9 or 10 yrs old, we went out with each other when we were 17 years old for about a year and he was the first person I slept with until I met someone else a few yrs ago we met back up ...

A.   27 August 2007: Shame my angel, Its not an easy thing to deal with! Feelings that are unresolved are bound to resurface again and it generally happens when we see the other person. Your relationship with your ex sounds like it went on for a while and you mi... (read in full...)

After four years, she's not interested in sex. When I bring it up, she accuses me of only wanting her for sex!

Q.   Hi Guys, I'm really hoping someone out their can help me as Im so damn confused. My girlfriend and I have been together nearly 4 years. My problem is that lately (over the past few months) she just doesn't seem interested in being intimite with me ...

A.   27 August 2007: i know its a bit delayed, but i've been away! If she doesn't respond to anything, i've suggested or if she is not responding positively with couples counselling, then you need to think of the possibility that there may be another man or that ther... (read in full...)

After four years, she's not interested in sex. When I bring it up, she accuses me of only wanting her for sex!

Q.   Hi Guys, I'm really hoping someone out their can help me as Im so damn confused. My girlfriend and I have been together nearly 4 years. My problem is that lately (over the past few months) she just doesn't seem interested in being intimite with me ...

A.   26 June 2007: Hey, well i'm not sure how much this will help but i'm going to try! Instead of talking to her and making it feelto her that you pushing for it, make gentle insinuations. Get her something small that she will think is cute or will have some sen... (read in full...)

How do i show him that i would like more with out scaring him off?

Q.   Well i have read problems and i've been giving suggestions but now i am at a complete loss! I have been chatting to a guy on the internet and last night we met! While we were chatting, we said that we were both just looking for friendship a...

A.   6 February 2007: Thank you to everyone that gave me advice! To let every one no, he turned out to be a pig like the rest of them! What he wanted a friend with all the benefits of a relationship! I guess i have to wait for the next one huh? :-(... (read in full...)

Do you think I stand a chance of getting him to give us another go ?

Q.   PLease help. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple of months ago, although I begged him to change his mind he said he couldnt. The reason he broke up with me is cos he was worried that he couldnt see a long term future for us. BAsically, he wa...

A.   24 January 2007: Hey sweety! Well by the looks of things, there is a hint of jealousy on his part which is a good sign, it probablly means he still has feelings for you! and even if you are pretending not to be needy it must be working! keep doing what you doi... (read in full...)

How do I get over this big obsession about his ex! What should I do?

Q.   I have been seeing a guy over 3 yrs, and he left his ex and kids,but now his son is having problems in behavior and might have to stay there. How do i get over not getting upset with him ex there causei really don't like her. I know he loves me. ...

A.   23 January 2007: Well it can't be easy having the man you love living back with his ex, like you said he loves you and you need to trust that love! Keep in mind if you give him greef about it, he will get really upset with you because this is about his sons health! ... (read in full...)

Should I be worried that he's stopped calling?

Q.   should i be worried that my boyfriend hasnt been calling me? he usually calls almost everyday i know hes been stressed lately but is that an excuse for not calling for several days? ive tried calling him and theres no answer so i leave a message ...

A.   19 January 2007: My angel, It happened to me, and i hate to tell you this, but it's falling apart, he either doesn't have the balls to face you and tell you or he wants you to get upset and break it of so that he doesn't look like the ass! My suggestion i... (read in full...)

I slept with him after the xmas party...but now nothing else has happened. Any advice?

Q.   Ive fancied a guy at work for a while but didn't think he liked me until the xmas party were we got chatting and later spent the night together in his hotel room it was amazing and he said the sweetest things to me. We later found out that his ...

A.   18 January 2007: Sweety, it's a guy thing! Guys don't persue anyone there friends are into! But to give you peace of mind email him and be direct, ask him if what happened was a one night thing or if he actually does have feelings for you! If he doesn't answe... (read in full...)

Should I let go of him?

Q.   should i let go of him i have met a man i am happy with hes divorced hes got a ten yr old boy he always used to see till the exwife found out about me yhen she stoped him seeing his son he loves his son alot but we have a flat and he live...

A.   16 January 2007: Well you tried and that must have taken alot! I'm proud of you! But here is the bad news! My advice to you is leave him, don't let him destroy your life because he can't work his problems out with his ex! He is a grown man! You not his moth... (read in full...)

He cheated and now..he texts me all the time that he loves me! Does he really love me?

Q.   My problem is extremely complex! Me and my fiance split a year and a half ago after I found out he had been cheating on me. I had some tell tale signs to warn me but simply chose to ignore them. Since our split we've had a very tempramental ...

A.   16 January 2007: Yes he may love you very much but as you said he is still lying even though he doesn't need to, can you imagine how he would have to lie if he needed to! Don't put yourself through it! I know you love him and i know it hurts and i'm sure more than... (read in full...)

When I get close to O, my vagina muscles pop him out!

Q.   Hi, I was just wondering if anyone had heard of this before, or could offer me some advice. I have a sex problem. I find it really difficult to orgasm, unless I am on top of my boyf, or doggy style. However whenever I do get close to orgasm m...

A.   16 January 2007: Well it's happened a few times to me and believe me i know how frustrating it is, so i'm going to tell you what i have done! It works for me! You say he is rather big so it should work! When you feel you are drawing near to your orgasm, let him ... (read in full...)

He keeps touching my vagina.... why!?

Q.   My problem is this, I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now and he has this habit of constantly touching my private parts (vagina), he says that it is his to touch, this is really starting to irritate me, I have spoken to him about it before ...

A.   16 January 2007: Well, firstly if you don't like tell him out right to piss off and if he still does it then grab him by the balls and you squeeze so hard that he squirms in pain! Men like that need a strong women to show them the difference between right and ... (read in full...)

Had sex with my best buddy's ex-gf and now...she's pregnant! What should I do?

Q.   I'm in a bind. I recently had sex with my best friends ex-girlfriend and she is now pregnent. We aren't in a relationship and live across the country from each other. I want her to have an abortion and she doesn't. What can I do to convince her ...

A.   16 January 2007: Fine you made the mistake of sleeping with your friends Ex, it was fun but you should have thought about the consiquences before doing the nasty without a condom! But the fact that you want her to have an abortion is immature and unfair! You c... (read in full...)

He kissed someone else - so how do I know he won't cheat while on holiday?

Q.   Hi im 18 years old and my boyfriend is 20, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me a few months ago, he apologised and said he would never do it again, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and love him dearly, he has decided to go on 2 lads ...

A.   15 January 2007: Men dont think at the best of times! You said he doesnt like talking about it, i think the best way to find out if he will cheat again is to bring up his cheating, see how he reacts, if you feel he is really sorry then take is word but if you have... (read in full...)

If your partner was cheating...would you want to know?

Q.   if your partner was cheating would you want to know?...

A.   15 January 2007: That is a tuff one, on one hand if you knew you would have to make the choice to forgive him or leave and it would be hard especially if he really means alot to you1 But on the other hand i think i would want to know because nowadays, there are funn... (read in full...)

First kiss was so awkward

Q.   Hello everyone. I have a major crisis on my hands. My ex and I got back together just over a week ago and I guess were going out. Last night we had a date and besides never doing anything with a guy not even kissing one, we made out. It was so ...

A.   15 January 2007: Well my point of view you are too young for a serious relationship! Have fun, go wild! The first kiss is always weird but it is also very special! And the best thing is, is that you shared it with someone that actually means soething to you! Sp... (read in full...)

My tarot card said I'd get caught if I kept seeing these two boys! Who should I choose?

Q.   I'm seeing two guys. One is my boyfriend, one is getting close to becoming the same. I've met both of their parents, all their friends, and like them both very much. I know this can't last forever, and the more serious I become with them both, the ...

A.   15 January 2007: Well it's simple, draw up a table for each of them, make two colums, make colum on likes and colum 2 dslikes, then jot down all your likes and dislikes for them and the one with the most likes, go with that one! The way i see it, is you young have... (read in full...)

We're both scared of having sex... how can we relax?

Q.   my boyfriend and i havent been dating long. He and i are still virgins and both of us are very scared of having sex. How can we relax enough to have sex without being scared that were doing something wrong?...

A.   15 January 2007: if you are scared you shouldn't be doing it! If you haven't been dating long why are you thinking about it! Sex is something thing that is supposed to be special! But if you want to do it the best way to relax is to take everything slow, have d... (read in full...)

We're both scared of having sex... how can we relax?

Q.   my boyfriend and i havent been dating long. He and i are still virgins and both of us are very scared of having sex. How can we relax enough to have sex without being scared that were doing something wrong?...

A.   15 January 2007: if you are scared you shouldn't be doing it! If you haven't been dating long why are you thinking about it! Sex is something thing that is supposed to be special! But if you want to do it the best way to relax is to take everything slow, have d... (read in full...)

He wants to give me oral... I'm worried about how I look "down below"!

Q.   my boyfriend wants to have oral sex with me, but i am scared about how i look below even though we have sex often? shud i b confident about what i look like down below? xxxxxxxxx-xxxxxxxxx...

A.   15 January 2007: I know the feeling, i was like that in the beginning too! But for some reason men like it, a lot! To make yourself feel comfortable have a bath before hand or do what i do, use the wonderful product called VEET! if you cleanly shaven if you want... (read in full...)

I gave him till the end of the month to decide! Any tips on how I can sway him!!!!?

Q.   i'v been seein this guy for 5 weeks now, and we are not bf and gf yet, but it really feels as though we are,and everyone thinks we are, as we do everything that a couple would do! i realy want a relationship with him, but we are not together yet...

A.   9 January 2007: WOW! Now that sounds very familiar! I was in the same situation and when i say exact i mean exact! The difference with the situation however you gave him a cut of date, well done, i should have! So thats the first brilliant thing you have don... (read in full...)

His mum hates me. Is it because of religion?

Q.   ok this is an odd one to ask but i would like some help as im a little lost as to what i can do or say to help im very upset at mo i found a friend had died this morning and i have another problem thats weighing heavy on my mind.. , my bf loves me ...

A.   9 January 2007: Hello dear! I'm so terribly sorry for all that you going threw! I know first hand what it feels like to be disliked by the boyfriends family! I lost the love of my life like that! And as terrible as it is and as much as it hurts because i ... (read in full...)

He can get an erection, but can't ejaculate. Any thoughts?

Q.   My boyfriend is able to get an erection but cannot seem to ejaculate. We are in the early part of a relationship and have not yet sex yet but have been doing a lot of foreplay. As you can imagine this is causing a lot of tension. Any thoughts on why ...

A.   9 January 2007: Hey sweety! Well i'm not sure why some guys don't it's not that they can't! All you do is when you do start having sex, whisper naughty things in his ear! the ear is a very sensitive! Tell him what you want him to do, tell him what you want hi... (read in full...)

I have trust issues with my bf, should I let go about the other girls?

Q.   I think i do have trust issues but there are things that my boyfriend did to make me not trust him. He's said to me why would he stay with me for so long and why would he always try to work things out with me, so should i just let go about the girls ...

A.   9 January 2007: Sweetie, i feel you! But let me break it down, If he does it once it's his fault if he does it again it's your fault! If he has done it more times than that then you need to think if he is worth the effort! Is he worth your tears or a broken h... (read in full...)

Should I let go of him?

Q.   should i let go of him i have met a man i am happy with hes divorced hes got a ten yr old boy he always used to see till the exwife found out about me yhen she stoped him seeing his son he loves his son alot but we have a flat and he live...

A.   9 January 2007: Its not my place to talk because i havn't been married and i don't have kids, but i have come from a broken home, and man i wish my mother had put her foot down back then! It's not an easy choice to make, but you need to sit your man down and tell... (read in full...)

I'm in love with a girl I am related to! What should I do?

Q.   dear cupid i seem to be in love with a girl who i am related to (cuzzin through grandparents), before i used to have feeling for her but they usually go away after a day or two, but now i seem to be thinking about her non stop, and i would like...

A.   25 October 2006: It isn't a problem, you not related close enough for it to cause problems but i don't mean to be nasty or for this to sound insensitive, but if she wasn't interested the first time, what makes you think she is interested now! Think about it befor... (read in full...)

Is there anything I can do to help get my girlfriends sex drive back ?

Q.   dear cupid , wondering if you could help me , me and my girlfriend have been together about a year and a half now she is 18 and i am 22, lately well for a fair while we ahve not had sex as much as both wanted too mainly to her not being able to ge...

A.   13 September 2006: queenoftheworld couldn't have put it better! I too am a at that moment where i'm just not interested in sex, i'm not even in the mood to cuddle. and there is nothing worse than a guy trying to hard to get you going, it's an even bigger turn off, ... (read in full...)

He seems to now be rushing, is it okay to carry on dating see where it leads or do I need to set some ground rules ?

Q.   Hi, My ex boyfriend and I are trying to be together again. We went out for 3 months, he broke up with me for 2 months because of issues with his ex, and we have now been back in contact and dating for 2.5 months. So ive really not known him that...

A.   13 September 2006: Well it's actually a very clear cut solution. he hurt you and you need time to regaint that trust, tell him. how will he know what the problem is if you don't tell him! sometimes it's true what men say about women, we always expect to know what... (read in full...)

*inkz's friends

These are mutual friends, so *inkz has added them and they have added *inkz!

aphexinfinite agony auntaphexinfinite
baadgrlz117 agony auntbaadgrlz117
David Lewis agony auntDavid Lewis
Gwendolyn agony auntGwendolyn
Imani agony auntImani
Jadzia1127 agony auntJadzia1127
Smiler agony auntSmiler
TinaDehFox agony auntTinaDehFox
Tinkz agony auntTinkz
unique chloe agony auntunique chloe

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.109375500000169!