A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I asked for advice on using dating sites a few days ago. Now I have a more specific question. There's a guy I'm interested in someone on OKCupid. Should I message him? Why or why not? And if so, what should I say? I'm a bit shy and embarassed about it. I've visited his profile a few times, and he knows it because OkCupid sends notifications for each visit. He's visited my profile once after I visited his. I also rated his profile highly, hoping that he'd get a notification, but that only happens if he's a paying member.He seems very friendly and approachable, and we have a lot in common. What should I say in my message to make me stand out? I tend to be quite formal. I'm a genuine, adventurous person but I don't know how to translate that into text.Oh also, OkCupid shows how often you respond to messages. Mine says Very Selectively and his says Replies Often. I'm probably overthinking it but he would know I don't talk to just anyone. Thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2013): Thank you, everyone! Will do! :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 May 2013):
 If you are interested then message him.
ONCE!
let him get back to you and set the tone...
if he gets back to you and it's agreeable then set a time to meet up after 3-5 messages.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (6 May 2013):
 Don't be shy or embarrassed! He's not going to think it's strange to get a message from you. Someone has to take the initiative and say hello first.
Just say "hi, I like what you've written in your profile. I notice you also like [blah blah]. I wondered if you'd like to chat?"
Keep it short and sweet, but show that you've actually read his profile.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (6 May 2013):
 Relate to him by treating him like you'd like to be treated. Greet him politely, tell him truthfully that you've been to his profile several times and that you find him handsome and that you two seem to have many things in common. Point out a few of your interests and invite him to write you back.
Don't overthink this. He's a human being, treat him like one. Relax and be yourself!
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (6 May 2013):
 You are over thinking it a bit! Read his profile then send a message asking about something he is interested in or something you both have in common. Keep it light hearted and maybe even funny if you can. If he doesn't respond then its no loss, just try someone else... Good luck :)
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