A
male
age
30-35,
*heLastLoveSong
writes:A little over 5 months ago I met my "dream girl", and our relationship has been going really well so far. I'm 24 and she is 22. She doesn't seem to have a whole lot of confidence in herself though. I asked her about it in the nicest way possible and she told me that her ex used to put her down all the time, and she feels like a broken person. Last night we were laying on my bed watching a movie and I leaned over her and kissed her on her forehead, put my hand on her cheek and whispered to her "It's amazing how beautiful you are." She started crying a little after I said that. She's never cried before when I called her beautiful. Why do you think she did this time? How can I help her feel less "broken?"
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confidence, emotionally abusive, her ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): I am one of those broken girls. My current bf treats me like gold, and it is exactly what I need. He's helped me so much, ways he doesn't even know, by being patient, kind, gentle, sweet, loving. Your gf cried because it meant so much to her the way you presented your statement. It's a good thing! She's not used to that tenderness. You can help fix her by continuing to do those sorts of things to show her that she is treasured. I echo what trancedrhythmear and dougbcoll said. I have come so far from where I was a year ago by my bf doing those exact things.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (15 September 2013):
 Excellent. Be patient. Continue to encourage support n compliment. Dont kiss her ass but compliment n if she achieves something buy her a small gift. Continue to be a consistent gentleman!!
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (15 September 2013):
 You are not her EX , that put her down. you are doing the right things, you are showing her that you care for her as a person and more. she cried because you do care for her, tears from emotional feeling of being loved, and cared for. "how can i help her feel less broken?" by just being yourself showing interest in her, time, love. investing in the love between you both. The other guy was taking away from her, not a nice guy. if you give to her, show love and interest she should be fine. "like a bank account the other guy was making withdraws and not putting anything back in the bank. soon she felt empty." You by showing love to her " investing putting into the bank account love, interest, time. making deposits into her account." she will feel loved by you.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (15 September 2013):
 OP you sound lovely! Such loveliness can bring us softy females to tears, sometimes.
Don't feel bad that you made her cry. If it was because of your sweet words and not the film or hormones or whatever, it's her showing her emotions, which is a good thing. It shows she is capable of healing, and importantly she's not blocking you out.
As long as you carry on being such a sensitive, caring boyfriend (and encourage her to keep up her other relationships with girl friends), she will soon get over the nasty past relationship and regain her confidence.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 September 2013):
 The crying may not be linked to being broken. The tear ducts are more productive in women. Maybe the movie was very touching too and there was something in the moment just got to her. Adding your sweet words it was a very sentimental moment. I think by being with you she gained confidence already. To help her move on from the past you just have to keep up with your niceness. When she sees the consistency then she can separate people's opinions and begin to assert her identity. I could cry like that too, even with no past abuse.
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