A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok.. I'm hoping someone can help... I have a kind of fwb situation going on with a guy I work with. It was him who asked me about it, as we were both single and not looking for an intense relationship, as both of us had been hurt in the past. So this has been going on for about 4-5 months now. The thing is I have read about fwb, f***k buddies and booty calls, and our 'thing' doesnt seem to fall in any of these categories. Also I am beginning to wonder wether he has caught feelings for me?. Things that make me think this are Seems to be getting more frequent ( on his part, asking me over) Has started to tell me things about his life, his past and family Tells me im gorgeousHas started to be interested in my career, and wants to help me move up the ladderHas started to make comments when I chat to some male customers for too long (all comments jokey, but true!) Started being reluctant to let me leave.. Trying to keep me there... And when I do leave texts me to say I should have stayed longer. In fact going to the lengths of saying if he'd thought sooner he would of asked me to stay overAnd within the last week has started playing his guitar to me Also he went on hols this week and before he left he was supposed to go for birthday drinks with another male colleague.... He stood them up and called me round instead... On leaving he told me to 'be good'... Which is not a phrase he normally use. (Double meaning??)As I said I read the rules on this fwb subject and it seems as though he's breaking them, and thats what makes me wonder if he wants more. Or am I just reading too much into it?P.s I'd also like to mention that he is 7 yrs younger than meThanks for taking the time to read my babble
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female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (16 September 2013):
 Do you guys go out on dates - Movies, theatre, weekends away? Has he introduced you to any of his friends or family? Does he do stuff for you like fix your leaky faucet or help you with car trouble etc? What I'm trying to say is that if your relationship is always in the bedroom then you are still FWB. He may confide his deepest thoughts with you, but that's what friends do anyway.
If you want this to be more than a FWB situation then you need to have a talk with him about it. Don't wait, hoping that one day he will come to his senses and realize that he's in love with you. That's Hollywood stuff. If you want to take this relationship to the next level, then you need to let him know. At least if he does not want to, then you can end it before you get too attached to let go. I hope he wants the same as you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): Thanks for your replies... i jus wanted to get some unbiased views.., we actually talk a lot.,. But as I said I have been hurt badly in past.. dont wanna make a fool of myself. Also situ is difficult because it is not an office environment.., there are only 6 members of staff at work. 5 of which are men and me. So comming out in the open is kinda awkward.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (15 September 2013):
 Nobody here can predict the future. Though I think it's safe to say that FWB or whatever you label it is dangerous territory, and relationships with coworkers are also dangerous territory. So that's a double whammy.
All I can suggest is that you have an honest discussion with him about this, where you both see this leading too.
Hope it works out one way or another.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv +, writes (15 September 2013):
You are both grown adults. You both have been intimate with each other. Doesn't it make sense that you sit down and have a conversation like adults?
How can you complete an act such as sex and not have some sort of relationship or feelings for the other.
If this relationship is not what you are looking for or want, doesn't it make sense that you should end it.
I don't care what anyone says, someone always gets hurt in the end.
Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): As long as you keep providing him no strings sex he will keep taking it. I think you are over thinking this. I have been around and there is no difference between FWB's. F-buddies and booty calls.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (15 September 2013):
 There isn't really a rule book for fwb other than no commitment...
Do you want him to have feelings for you? Do you have feelings for him?
It's hard to say what he is thinking, but considering he knows you like him (you are having sex with him) I can't think of a reason why he wouldn't just tell you if he fell for you...
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (15 September 2013):
I don't think there are any rules to a FWB relationship other than there is no promise of becoming something more than FWB.
So, even if he likes you, he didn't break any rules. He is human after all. At some point, your thing may evolve into a traditional relationship, but right now you're over thinking things.
It sounds like you like him. Why don't you talk to him about it?
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (15 September 2013):
 Well, it's always possible that he MIGHT be thinking he wants to take it beyond strictly FWB.
On the other hand, I think if he did, he would have come out and said something directly.
Tell us: when he's asking you to come over more frequently is that something that usually results in more sex?
Think about it and see what makes the most sense to you.
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