He just just sits there steaming. Why doesn't my husband of ten years accept that sometimes people do want to give me a compliment?
Q. I was wondering if anyone could help....my husband of 10 years hates when people compliment me. If we go anywhere and someone tells me I'm pretty he cringes. I always respond with a nice thank you. He just just sits there steaming. Why?? ...
A. 4 May 2015: Is it just compliments about your appearance he takes issue with or ANY kind of compliment? And just from other men? Are these men friends or just strangers you encounter while you're out?
It's actually quite rude to offer an unsolicited opinion ... (read in full...)
The smell of smokers is a turn-off for me. Was it wrong of me to reject her? What else could I do?
Q. I am a guy who doesn't seem to have problems attracting girls. I can't stand girls when they are drunk or smokers, also both because of the smell. The drunk ones are not an issue, as I tell them that when we meet, she should refrain from drinkin...
A. 4 May 2015: You weren't wrong and there is nothing for you to do here.
Smelling bad and turning some people off is all part of the territory. She chooses to smoke so she'll have to accept whatever comes with it.
Another smoker here too, so I'm not passi... (read in full...)
Despite the difficulties I still love her. But what to do? My daughter thinks that I should ask her to leave
Q. My partner is causing me concern in that she does the complete opposite of what is asked of her, when we got together she was very quiet and then after a couple of weeks she started talking to me with rude words. I told her that I dont take this typ...
A. 4 May 2015: If she's fit enough to go out, get drunk and stay out until the wee hours then she's fit enough to take care of herself.
It's time for her to go. ... (read in full...)
I don't want people to ''find'' me and ''add'' me. Why are Social Networks so important to everyone? Can I decline gracefully at work?
Q. Why is everyone so obsessed with social media and networks. I've just started a new job and genuinely the first thing this girl said was do you have Facebook? I find it ridiculous that I should have to be 'friends' with people I don't want as ...
A. 1 May 2015: With Facebook (and I assume with other sites) you can change your settings so that your profile doesn't show up in the public directory. That way no one can 'find' you. You can also choose who can send you messages (friends or friends of friends). ... (read in full...)
My concern is that he's rather stingy and that after almost 2 years he's not ready for being together in person. Advice?
Q. I've been in a Long Distance Relationship for almost two years. My boyfriend is a six hour flight away and I fly to see him once a month, duration of stay is 4-7 days each visit. During the time that we've been together, he has only visited three ...
A. 1 May 2015: Actually you long ago reached a point where you should NOT even be thinking of future plans.
I'd already decided this guy was a dud mid way through the first paragraph, but the opening line of the second was the clincher for me. Asking for a $2... (read in full...)
He's fine in person but is awful at texting!
Q. I was just hoping for some general advice. My boyfriend is incredible, and I'm head over heels for my relationship. We're both in college, so I know we're young, but I've never been happier with a significant other. He treats me like a princess. The ...
A. 1 May 2015: This is the problem with trying to change something about someone else. Either they resist, or they try to accommodate but they don't quite understand and therefore don't get it right and you end up with a bigger headache.
Let's break this dow... (read in full...)
Would it be cruel to leave him. Or could it do him some good? I'm terrified of what'll happen if he continues like this.
Q. I'm between a rock and a hard place and I really need some advice. My boyfriend has always smoked weed. At first it was just once or twice a month when he would hang out with a particular friend. I didn't like it but he never did it in front of m...
A. 1 May 2015: 'Help and support' in these situations is often a euphemism for ceaseless nagging and that doesn't work on anyone. He's quite content doing what he's doing and pestering him to quit will only lead to fights. Leave it alone.
Rejection and disappoi... (read in full...)
Who should I choose? My ex, who called my reaction too jealous? Or this new guy I've just met?
Q. My older, once divorced boyfriend of two years recently told me that he wanted some space. He stated that I showed red flags of violent jealousy, during an encounter with his female friend at a local sports bar one Friday evening. He asked her ...
A. 1 May 2015: I think you should consider the first relationship over, then take some time to regroup and reflect before launching into something with a new guy. Especially when said new guy has unfinished business with an ex who is still in the picture and ... (read in full...)
I got sick and missed the calls, now he wont talk.......
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together two months and we talk everyday. We work similar jobs and sometimes, overnight so we try to keep each other up. Friday I told him I had plans to go out but I ended up getting sick and fell into deep sleep, I ...
A. 27 April 2015: I'm with the others. OP, it might not feel like it now, but you really did dodge a bullet here.
12 missed calls is just a weeee bit obsessive, then a cold shoulder afterward. this guy is very clingy and insecure. Not to mention wrapped up in hi... (read in full...)
Should his voyeurism concern me? How can I believe that I am the woman for him when all his thousands of saved images of women all look nothing like me?
Q. i am currently engaged to my partner of just over 2years. I have since constantly found images he has taken of women in public, on screens or saved of women. Also the usual porn etc... On his phone, email, playstation, in our new home (dvd's, ...
A. 26 April 2015: To answer your question about the variety of his tastes, that is because to him, women are not real people. We're a collection of body parts.
Think of your tea towels. You might have a favourite colour or type, but really any will do as long as ... (read in full...)
Should his voyeurism concern me? How can I believe that I am the woman for him when all his thousands of saved images of women all look nothing like me?
Q. i am currently engaged to my partner of just over 2years. I have since constantly found images he has taken of women in public, on screens or saved of women. Also the usual porn etc... On his phone, email, playstation, in our new home (dvd's, ...
A. 26 April 2015: You know what stands out for me in this post? That you are only concerned with whether or not you're his type and not the least bit concerned about the women he's been secretly watching and photographing. He's a parasite. He feeds off others and o... (read in full...)
Any advice for me regarding my Girlfriend's actions during her previous relationship re nude photos sent to her now ex?
Q. My girlfriend has sent her nude photos to her ex about 2 years ago and that is over now. she said there was nothing more to that (like sex). She and I are together about a month and I really care for her and she does the same. She told me this bec...
A. 26 April 2015: What situation?
Exchanging nude photos is just one of the things they did when they were together. I bet they did countless other things too. If she isn't your first girlfriend or sexual partner then you have a history too.
What is it sp... (read in full...)
Will my fiance from another country be able to accept my culture? I think he's jealous
Q. Will my overseas born fiance be able to accept my American culture? He is so very loyal and romantic and attentive to me. I'm really in love with him. I think it's a miracle to find love halfway across the planet. I'm in the u.s. and he's from an...
A. 25 April 2015: Red flag.
What you call 'loyal' 'romantic' and 'attentive' is just a precursor to 'overbearing' and 'controlling'. You're already seeing signs of that yourself.
The fact that he has to specifically tell you he believes in women's freedom ... (read in full...)
Should just leave it or ask my mother why she felt the need to say such a thing?
Q. I had my first child when I was 17 with my now ex boyfriend. Due to ill health my mother spent a lot of time looking after my child as I have epilepsy and found it hard to handle both at the time. As my mother couldn't take my epilepsy away bu...
A. 25 April 2015: She was just giving you a heads up that she won't be able to help out as much as she did before. It's a perfectly reasonable statement. What is there to be hurt about?
This is all a bit melodramatic, if you ask me. I wouldn't bring this up. ... (read in full...)
I do want to go back to work after baby is born. My Bf wants me to stay home. How do I resolve this?
Q. I'm currently expecting my first child with my boyfriend of three years. Although our child wasn't planned, they weren't unwanted and the pregnancy was a lovely surprise and we are both excited. However in the past few months as my due dat...
A. 19 April 2015: Why not cross this bridge when you get to it?
You're getting all worked up over something that really won't be an issue for at least several months after your baby is born. You can tell him, you'll revisit the subject in the future and in the mean... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to him and request one final discussion, for closure, following out break-up?
Q. I recently ended a relationship that lasted 3.5 years and was very chaotic (lots or arguing and communication issues) That happened about 2 months ago. Since then I've been on an emotional roller coaster, sometimes feeling great and thinking I'm ...
A. 19 April 2015: It's not closure you need, but acceptance, OP. Even if you both said whatever it is you think has been unsaid and he decides he's still had enough (which he probably will), you're still going to be sad.
I think reaching out to him again might se... (read in full...)
We're back together but I don't trust him and now I find that I'm pregnant. What should I do?
Q. I broke off my engagement because I caught him talking to one of his ex's. We had an argument so he called her - He said she's just a friend means nothing and since he knows I have access to his phone bill and passwords he's got nothing to hide. I...
A. 13 April 2015: Op, you don't have to do anything right now. You've only just taken him back and you've just learned you're pregnant, which is life altering news. That's a lot to take in in such a short period of time.
The baby isn't going to be born for several ... (read in full...)
I sent a text to my boyfriend that was meant for my boss. Will my BF get upset?
Q. Hi all. Let me start by saying my BF of two years can be insecure and has expressed jealousy at times. I was texting my boss trying to set up a meeting and sent the text by accident to my BF as I have both conversations saved on my phone....
A. 13 April 2015: I'll tell you what I tell everyone who has or knows someone who has trust issues and that is treat them as though they don't exist.
Accommodating them only ensures they'll remain or get worse because it offers the sufferer a false sense of secur... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with jealousy in my FWB!
Q. Hi everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read my question. Basically, my issue is to do with jealousy. At the moment I'm in a FWB with a girl, we've been on this arrangement for about 7 months. Through this time we've had a few bad pat...
A. 12 April 2015: People get into these arrangements because they think it's more straight forward and easier for both parties, but the truth is it's anything but straight forward. It blurs the lines and creates a lot of uncertainties.
My advice is, if you've a... (read in full...)
Colleague turned off by platonic comment I made?
Q. I was talking to a male colleague about keeping in touch when he leaves for vacation. I joking said, "you're not going to blow me off if I try to reach out to you over the next few weeks?" and he became really uptight and offended. He just ended the ...
A. 12 April 2015: The race card is a tad old already. Maybe this thread should be closed. I don't see anything more to be gained from this.... (read in full...)
Do you struggle with people's scathing comments daily, if it offends you like this & how you deal with it?
Q. I've recently rescued a beautiful dog. My very first dog, who I love dearly. Having a dog, I've been out socialising more at the local dog playgroup. I thought this would not only be a great way to socialise my boy, but also an ideal chance to meet ...
A. 12 April 2015: In future, head off unsolicited advice and opinions at the pass by being more selective of whom, when and what you ask. These days you can learn just about anything online. And when you do ask, be specific. Don't announce that you know nothing ... (read in full...)
I"m on the pill but yet boyfriend is paranoid I'll get pregnant. How do I get him to relax?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and the first couple times we were intimate, I was not on birth control, and he refused to wear a condom. He told me to trust him, reassured me that I would not get pregnant, and promised ...
A. 12 April 2015: At the risk of sounding cliché, there is a word that describes those who rely on 'pulling out' as an effective means of contraception.......PARENTS.
Wearing a condom might not feel as good as going 'bareback' but it's a lot safer. If he were rea... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said he can't be with me because I had sex for money while we were broken up
Q. I'm a 28 year old woman I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year now we recently split up ironically because he didn't trust me but we were going to work things out before we did though I had to tell him something I did because it was killing me ...
A. 12 April 2015: OP, the 'trust' is not simply about being able to rely on you to be honest. It's about being able to trust you to exercise sound judgment, to act as a reasonable and mature person would. And by your own admission, you haven't.
You chose to prost... (read in full...)
Colleague turned off by platonic comment I made?
Q. I was talking to a male colleague about keeping in touch when he leaves for vacation. I joking said, "you're not going to blow me off if I try to reach out to you over the next few weeks?" and he became really uptight and offended. He just ended the ...
A. 12 April 2015: YOU don't think you came on strong but HE might have. We don't know you, we don't know him, we don't get to see how either of you interact with each other or with other people. All we can do is GUESS.... (read in full...)
Colleague turned off by platonic comment I made?
Q. I was talking to a male colleague about keeping in touch when he leaves for vacation. I joking said, "you're not going to blow me off if I try to reach out to you over the next few weeks?" and he became really uptight and offended. He just ended the ...
A. 12 April 2015: I don't think race played a role here either.
He could have, understandably, thought you were romantically interested and coming on strong or he was insulted by the implication that he's a rude person who often blows people off. ... (read in full...)
Do men even care if porn use hurts their partner?
Q. My question comes as the result of my husband constantly using porn despite an agreement not too and two years of counselling. I have now organised alternative housing but am hurt and wondering what the world has come to Do men even care if porn use...
A. 10 April 2015: From my observations, I would say that porn has had more influence over men's (and women's) expectations of women's bedroom behaviour than it has their looks.
I think there are a number of factors, of which porn is but one, that have increase... (read in full...)
Can I ask my boyfriend not to attend events this past FWB of his goes to?
Q. So my boyfriend of 2 years is great! I love our relationship and im incredibly happy. Although there is this one girl who causes problems and im at a loss as to what to do about it. Long before i met him he lived with another girl for about 2 years, ...
A. 10 April 2015: I'm totally with YouWish on this one. Since she's already said it perfectly, there's no need for me to repeat it.
I will add though that making rules for someone is a bad idea because you can't enforce them. All you can do is monitor and punish t... (read in full...)
I want to know if and how having 2 children has affected my body
Q. I am a 21 year old with a 3 year old and an 8 month old. They both have their birthdays in August. I know my body pretty well but there are a few places that are in the dark. Literally. I long to know what my vagina feels like especially after my...
A. 10 April 2015: I suppose the best way to know whether you're 'loose' or 'good' is to gauge whether your husband still enjoys sex with you. He says he does and you haven't given us any reason to think otherwise so there's your answer. You don't have to drive ... (read in full...)
Text overload and being clingy may have scared him off!
Q. Hi there, I am looking for some honest advice and interested in hearing views from men as well, if possible. Basically, if a guy really genuinely likes a woman and is 'into her', during the early dating stages and she freaks him out with text ov...
A. 6 April 2015: Considering the billions of people on the planet it doesn't make sense to think you're only compatible with ONE other person. And it would be contrary to nature for everyone to pass up suitable mating opportunities because they're holding out for ... (read in full...)
He makes excuses to not give me his facebook password!
Q. So i've been with my boyfriend since mid November, i love him dearly but i've always had a few trust issues with him. As of lately theyve gotten really bad, he wont give me his Facebook password, uses the excuse "i change it to much, ive forgot it." ...
A. 6 April 2015: You're not entitled to his password so stop asking. If you don't trust someone you keep your distance from them. You have no right to try to restrict anyone's freedom for your emotional convenience.
Why would you continue to invest in someone ... (read in full...)
Should I try to win him back?
Q. I dated a guy for a month and it was going so well at the beginning and we were both really into each other, but then he started to get too serious too fast after 2 weeks he told me he loved me and wants marriage and kids asking those kinds of ...
A. 31 March 2015: I second that about the too much effort at this early stage.
Taking him back, or rather trying to earn your way back into his good graces, puts you at a disadvantage because you'll spend the rest of your time together on probation, bending ... (read in full...)
She was insistent on including her daughters in our invitation to her and then she was a no-show! I wasted £300 on all 4 of them!
Q. I got married over a month ago and I invited a friend of mine - we used to work together and became really good friends so I invited both her and husband to my wedding for the entire day. When my friend received her invite she called to as...
A. 31 March 2015: I'm with Honeypie.
You've made your displeasure known and she has made her complete lack of interest (and class) known as well. There is nothing more you can do but just cut ties with the woman. no fuss, no muss.
Everyone knows weddings are ver... (read in full...)
Help me to move on after the he violated my trust
Q. Recently I split with my partner of 2.5 years. We split last August for 3 months and reconciled in October under the circumstance that we were completely honest about what had happened since we split, had it all out cards on the tables I completely ...
A. 30 March 2015: OP, I have to say, this post is a refreshing change from many, many, many, MAAANNNYYY of the ones we read in which the guy is an absolute cad but she won't leave because she just 'loves him to bits'. They make for a painful read.
OP, lies don't wo... (read in full...)
His (now pregnant) one night stand is causing angst for us. Do I stand by my man and help him through this difficult time or leave?
Q. Please help. My boyfriend of 5 years and i took a break. During this time he had a one night stand with a condom. Two months later we started going to counseling and everything seemed to be working out. He even proposed marriage and our...
A. 30 March 2015: He needs to consult an attorney as soon as possible, and then arrange a paternity test. Like Abella said, a scan does not tell you who the father is. The dates might match up, but she could have been with dozens of other men within hours of being ... (read in full...)
How can I get through this mountain of pressure? A new baby, difficult birth, my mother died unexpectedly and my husbane and my sister have betrayed me
Q. Please help! Hubby and I have been having marriage problems since the birth of my 2nd child and a difficult pregnancy and long recovery time (8 weeks) from an planned c section which ended up being an emergency as the surgeon made a medical error ...
A. 30 March 2015: OP, your husband and sister have not betrayed you (your husband by confiding in your sister and your sister for having listened). It's perfectly normal to bend the ear of someone outside the immediate conflict.
Your husband chose to turn to someo... (read in full...)
Should I kick my girlfriend out?
Q. So my gf moved in 6 months ago. I cant walk through my garage cuz she hasnt unpacked, its full of boxes. Ive asked her many times to put the stuff away. She refuses to get a sitter for her kid. We havent gone out in 6 months no lie. I suggest things ...
A. 20 March 2015: At this point she's only been living there six months, so I would contact an attorney, ASAP, just to find out exactly what you're legal rights and obligations are.
Right now she's got it made and she probably won't take too kindly to having t... (read in full...)
Curious, maybe even suspicious...
Q. My girlfriend constantly calls me daddy during sex. She also likes to role play that she is 13 and I'm her father coming to her bedroom when everyone else is asleep. Her father is deceased but I know from her mother that they, my gf and her dad, ...
A. 18 March 2015: You're very welcome. Best of luck.... (read in full...)
Did she unblock me to show me she's in a relationship?
Q. My ex recently unblocked me which is not uncommon as she has blocked/unblocked me in the past. Wewere together for a few yrs and it ended pretty messy. Bat shit crazy. Weve been split for a few years now. This time I thought she was going to msg...
A. 17 March 2015: Either she specifically wants you to know she's in a relationship or she's simply okay with you knowing.
I assume you're talking about Facebook. Do you still have each other on your friends list? If so, why? If things are over, and if they end... (read in full...)
Is it wise to date this guy whose ex is lurking in the background?
Q. Dear Cupid friends, Your advice has always been invaluable to me. A guy that I used to bump into after work ( we used to say hello) found me on facebook and then asked me to go out. I went out with him after work on Tuesday and I really liked h...
A. 17 March 2015: Once again, I'm with Honeypie. He's got unfinished business elsewhere and the more time you spend with him the more involved you'll become and the harder it will be to walk away if that's what it comes down to later on.
That includes a friendsh... (read in full...)
I definitely want to have sex with him, but also wouldn't mind a serious relationship!
Q. I met this guy about 3 weeks ago at a party for a conference we were both attending... danced with him all night and we ended up making out. We spent the next day at the conference together, even at the closing party- and he invited me back to his ...
A. 17 March 2015: I think the best advice I can come up with is to make the time spent outside the bedroom enjoyable and memorable.
It's great that you can have good conversations, but I think you should also GO OUT and do things together. Maybe try new things t... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my wife who drinks too much and then starts fights with the family?
Q. Hi, male 45 years old married 20 years. 3 kids...all is well, until occasionally wife drink more than she can handle and gets mean. Usually, it starts with her drinking while yapping to her sister on the phome for hours in the evening, after s...
A. 17 March 2015: On this issue, I could not disagree more with SVC. Drinking to excess may be a human weakness, but taking it out on others is no more a disease than is robbing banks. I assume your wife doesn't get drunk at work and abuse her colleagues. She ... (read in full...)
Curious, maybe even suspicious...
Q. My girlfriend constantly calls me daddy during sex. She also likes to role play that she is 13 and I'm her father coming to her bedroom when everyone else is asleep. Her father is deceased but I know from her mother that they, my gf and her dad, ...
A. 10 March 2015: I forgot to add...
I recommend you not ask her if she's ever been raped or molested. It would be an intrusion and no good will come of outing her before she's ready. And if she hasn't she might just feel crummy and embarrassed by the fantasy.... (read in full...)
Curious, maybe even suspicious...
Q. My girlfriend constantly calls me daddy during sex. She also likes to role play that she is 13 and I'm her father coming to her bedroom when everyone else is asleep. Her father is deceased but I know from her mother that they, my gf and her dad, ...
A. 10 March 2015: You're not out of line for merely wondering about it, but I wouldn't jump to any conclusions.
Your question suggests, to me, that you're a tad uncomfortable with it, and I don't blame you. As has been pointed out already, she MIGHT have had an u... (read in full...)
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