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I definitely want to have sex with him, but also wouldn't mind a serious relationship!

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 March 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 March 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I met this guy about 3 weeks ago at a party for a conference we were both attending... danced with him all night and we ended up making out. We spent the next day at the conference together, even at the closing party- and he invited me back to his place. I did sleep over at his, and again there was a lot of making out and heavy petting but I insisted on no sex.

We're both in grad school, and exams kept us busy so we barely communicated, just a few long phone calls here and there. A few days ago, he called me and invited me over for dinner at his house, and since I wasn't doing anything I went over. Obviously, we ended up making out a lot and sex would have definitely happened if I wasn't on my period. I gave him head though.

So here's my question.

I most definitely want to have sex with this guy as soon as possible. But at the same time, I kind of like him and wouldn't mind this getting serious, but given our interactions so far it seems like the most likely outcome is for us to be friends with benefits. Is there anyway to turn this around, and make him see me as more than a potential sex partner?

To make the odds even worse, he's moving back to our home country in July (we're both international students from the same place, but i'm not moving back home anytime soon).

What do you think?

View related questions: friend with benefits, period

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (17 March 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou write: " Is there anyway to turn this around, and make him see me as more than a potential sex partner?"

Did he TELL YOU that he views you only as a sex partner? It's really OK for two people to actually talk about sex... AND about what is, or has, gone on between them... and how they view the future (together).... Start there..

Good luck.....

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (17 March 2015):

Ciar agony auntI think the best advice I can come up with is to make the time spent outside the bedroom enjoyable and memorable.

It's great that you can have good conversations, but I think you should also GO OUT and do things together. Maybe try new things together, go for a tour of your city, go rollerskating, check out the local science centre (or whatever you have there).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2015):

OP here. I realize now that my post seems to imply we otherwise but we actually do talk. In fact, we spent the whole day after the dinner/sleepover together. We have quite a few things in common and i find him super smart and he's an all round impressive person (hence me possibly wanting more from this).

I'm just curious what the chances are from your perspective.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntDefinitely TALK to him.

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