A
female
age
30-35,
*april09
writes:I am a 21 year old with a 3 year old and an 8 month old. They both have their birthdays in August. I know my body pretty well but there are a few places that are in the dark. Literally. I long to know what my vagina feels like especially after my second baby and considering my husband and I have been sexually active with eachother since we were 16 I sometimes try to ask him if it feels any different ect.. but as soon as I bring it up he gets guarded and annoyed. He'll begin to say he doesnt remember what I felt like and that Im perfect. He says everything is fine and that he "obviously " enjoys it. When we first started having sex after our second baby I quiefed ALOT. Its like I had more air than penis in there. Now, 8 months later, I hardly ever quief but I do notice I make slurping sounds and feel like I get too wet. Our sex usually lasts about 15-20 minutes and on days when hes really into it it lasts about 10 minutes. I have done the so called finger test but I dont know what is tight and what isnt. My finger doesnt come out purple from being squeezed so hard but it also doesnt get lost in a dark void. I have vagina weights that I do kegels with by I feel like theres no difference . I can hold mostly all the different weights in there but the picture descriptions dont exactly tell you where the ball should sit so I dont even know if Im doing that right. I am terrified of my husband thinking Im loose. I know hes been with girls who have had babies so I cant help but wonder if those girls had better recovered vaginas than I did and thats why he gets so weird when I ask him about mine. I dont even understand why he gets like that Im not looking for a its fine or your perfect. I am looking for specific and exclusive feedback on my -twice stretched to the size of a melon -vagina. I had my first at 17 and weighed only 5.4 lbs and my second at 20 weighing 6.11 lbs so they werent huge and im not that old. I guess what I am asking is if there is a way to know yes youre loose or no you are good. Why do I quief and slurp? What is one possible explanation for my husbands behaviour regarding my vagina?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 April 2015):
 If he says you are perfect, they why are you trying to find some fault in yourself? Your body is what it is and you are obviously very concerned with your vaginal health.
You do you queef and slurp? Because that's what happens when sex happens. Air, moisture, position, etc. The word 'fuck' comes from the sounds made during intercourse.
Why would you be 'terrified' by your husband thinking you are 'loose'? You were 16 when you got together, yet you say he's been with girls who had babies. I guess he got started young? How old is he?
Why are you creating a worry and drama where there is no need?
Women who have babies carry on happily in marriages with their husbands all the time.
You say you were 17 when you had your first baby... so you were very young when you conceived. Maybe your relationship with your husband wasn't as solid as you'd like. Maybe there's a history of his being sexually active outside a relationship?
Again, I go back to this. If he says you are perfect, why are you second-guessing him?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 April 2015):
 Since hubby is reluctant to give you feedback.... the only choice you seem to have is to have sex with many men and ask THEM.....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (10 April 2015):
 I suppose the best way to know whether you're 'loose' or 'good' is to gauge whether your husband still enjoys sex with you. He says he does and you haven't given us any reason to think otherwise so there's your answer. You don't have to drive yourself to distraction dissecting this.
The second questions, I'll leave to wiser aunts.
As to your third question, there are three possible explanations for your husband's discomfort in answering. One is too much time has passed between you having no kids to having two for him to make an accurate comparison. It's like asking someone to note minute changes in their eyesight over a three year period.
It could also be that he knows it's a loaded question that will lead to several more questions. If he says you're 'good' you'll keep pressing to make sure he's not just telling you what you want to hear. If he says 'loose' he'll be expected to tell you by exactly how much, for how long and why he wasn't more forthright about it until now. It won't end.
Finally, it could simply be that he's too embarrassed to go into that kind of detail and that's just the way he is. It could be a combination of all three reasons.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 April 2015):
 Kegels DO make a huge difference. You may not be able to FEEL them (and no, cracking walnuts with your vagina is not going to happen before or after kids).
Your vagina is a muscle with a amazing quality to stretch and get back to almost normal shape. I DO think having kids WILL make it a little less tight. Which is why.... Kegels are great. NOT SO MUCH for the "I must be tight for my man" issue but more along the line of having a muscle you can not see be toned and fit.
The queef is your husband pushing AIR into your vagina - might be your are less relaxed. The slurp? Well, many women end up being "wetting" after kids, some end up dryer. If you feel like you are now OVER producing "wetness" talk to your OB/GYN.
As for your husband? Well, he know.... IF he tells you.. you feel like a XXL now when you used to be a medium - you would be devastated and maybe NOT ant to have sex at all. Maybe he is quite happy with your vagina the way it is. He gets weird because it's like the whole "Do I look fat in this dress" question. No matter WHAT he says you CHOOSE to not believe him. If he says yes, then he is rude and mean, if he says no, then he MUST be lying. Poor guy can't win, and he knows it.
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