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Boyfriend bought me a chastity belt and expects me to wear it

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 December 2016) 8 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have been with my bf for 6 months now. last week we were out, i was sitting at this table and a bloke came over and we were just chatting but my bf was like super mad and he hates me to chat to any guy. He is such a control freek that way. but i let it go cos he has his very good points he is caring and loving and we have a gr8 love life. but he believes that if i chat to any guy he must be trying to get into my pants. Later that night he made a suggestion that i thougt was him just being funny, but when he mentioned it again in the morning i realisied he was serious. He sugested that perhaps as i chat to blokes when his back is turned then i should be made to ware a chastity belt when he isnt around. I would never dream of cheating and im sure he knows it , but he said he wasnt joking. !!!! he even went as far to look up different types and told me to pick one. Although I looked with him on his tablet for fun, (cos he does blow hot and cold) i felt sure it was just a passing temper. but then a couple of days later a packet arrived. He gave it to me and said there you are.If he wants to spice things up occasionally and want me to ware it, thats fine.Im all for that. but i dont see why I should be made to feel guilty for every guy who talks to me.After all he is the one who wants me always to look hot and sexy next to him in public (he tells me he wants me to ware this or that and i do ,if it pleases him im happy) so it is natural if sometimes guys try and talk to me, isnt it ?.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (16 December 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntPlease run and never look back. WARNING, this guy will end up so controlling that he will have you locked in the house when you move in together. Please leave him now. Not only is he insecure but his behavior is scary and shows he lacks trust.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (12 December 2016):

chigirl agony aunt*Shepherd, of course, not herd.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (12 December 2016):

chigirl agony auntGirl, really. Im going to tell you what you don't want to hear. He is controlling, and it will get worse. This is not a healthy or normal man. His behaviour is scary. It might not be scaring you yet, because he has "so many good qualities" etc. But in the end, none of his good sides will weigh up for him being controlling. Nothing.

You need to end this before you get further involved. Trust me, he is not a good man. There is something wrong in his head. He has actually bought you a chastity belt!

To put it this way, if you knew this when you went on your first date with him, would you have gone on a second date? If he told you, on the first date, that he will not allow you to talk to other men, and that he will make you wear a chastity belt, would you have gone on a second date with him?

Answer honestly. No woman in her right mind would. So that means you need to end this. The only reason you are with him still is because he has fooled you and twisted your head around, appearing to have so many "great" qualities. But trust me, they will all dissappear one by one. It's a trick to get you to fall in love with him, and then he reveals his true self. Which is this. Jealousy, controlling, wants you to wear a chastity belt because he thinks you will spread your legs to any random guy who walks by unless he's there to "protect" you like you were a sheep and he is your herd.

He has no respect for you. And no trust. This is not a relationship, this is him trying to establish ownership.

END IT.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (12 December 2016):

BrownWolf agony aunt

They actually make those still???

If I were you, I would wear it....And NO ONE gets in...not even him. Let's see how long that will last.

Question...are you a girlfriend or an animal? You a bit in a horse's mouth to control it. You put a leash on a dog to control it. And you put a chastity belt on you to do what??

You see anything wrong here? So what are you? Human or animal?

I would have been gone so fast, there would be no time to write this post.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (11 December 2016):

mystiquek agony auntI agree with Fatherly Advice. You know he gets jealous, you like to push him. He wants to control you. His idea is weird and you like attention and drama. The makings of a toxic relationship. You are not good for each other. I'll second the motion of the other aunts..this is where you RUN..don't walk!

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (11 December 2016):

Fatherly Advice agony auntThere is more than one way to look at this. Today I want to offer an alternative point of view. Like the other respondents, I don't see your relationship as healthy.

He is wrong because he thinks this will make any difference. You are wrong because you think what you did is ok in a relationship. Chatting up other guys while on a date with him is not a call for you to wear a chastity device. It is a wake up call for him. He should see how little you think of him. You know he gets jealous and you like it when you can CONTROL him that way.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 December 2016):

Honeypie agony auntHe sounds like a total dick.

He tells you WHAT to wear, who NOT to talk to and now to wear a chastity belt?! WTF?! Does he think we like in the Middle ages?

He treats you like you have no brain, no sense of self and that HE is somehow superior because he is a man. If I were you I'd put on those running shoes and get the HAY HAY out of Dodge. IT WILL only get worse from here on. He is beginning to isolate you. Stay with him and it will be your hair, makeup, friends, family etc. that he will want to control how much you do and see people.

It's ONLY been 6 months and he is making RIDICULOUS demands. and unfortunately, YOU seem to think that you have to obey so you can prove what a good GF you are.

There is no EFFING way I'd wear a chastity belt for some dude's frail ego.

Honey, ASK your mom what she thinks of this situation. ASK your female friends (though my guess is they will laugh at the story because it's so ridiculous).

Is your BF English by the way? Or from a culture where women are expected to "obey" ?

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (11 December 2016):

N91 agony auntIf I were you I'd be running a mile from this guy, what the hell is going through his mind to think this is acceptable?

Does he not think you have your own brain to decide who you slept with? Absolutely ludicrous controlling behaviour.

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