A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of a year recently asked me if I would be into a MMF threesome with one of his best friends, although his words were "tag team". He revealed it was one of his fantasy's, and asked me if I would be into it. At the time I said I don't know and honestly still dont. We are very open with each other and he says he wants to try double penetration. He has done this before with one of his previous girlfriends and his relationship with his friend didn't change one bit from it. But because all of this is still very new to me I am unsure of how to approach an answer. I'm also afraid of what impact this would have on our relationship. Or if it is a common fantasy for a male to have. There is so much to process and any help would be greatly appreciated!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2017): If somebody is having "desires" and "fantasies" not "based around a traditional one on one relationship" that is ONE thing.If they are crossing the line into making these fantasies a reality. That is ANOTHER thing altogether.Because one on one relationships involve another person BESIDES yourself! And their views may differ from yours.So, the moral of the story is, IF you have these fantasies, keep them to yourself. Certain fantasies are harmless. Like role playing. Dressing up. Meeting somewhere and pretend you are strangers. Doing it in a car. Experimenting positions. Etc. Involving other people is a slippery slope. Some fantasies are better left in your head, like those involving another sexual partner in addition to your current partner.If you are looking to make these fantasies a reality, then LEAVE the relationship if your partner is not on side. And go wild with whomever you please, whenever you please.The issue is not that we do not have fantasies. This is normal.What is not normal is debasing and devaluing your partner into becoming some real life porn star to satisfy those fantasies.It is very clear that the OP's boyfriend has dabbled before and imposed his desires onto a former girlfriend. And he is just repeating the pattern. He and his best friend have a fetish for this sort of a thing. And this guy is going to repeat it with every woman he is with. Only that it will not come to fruition unless he has a willing victim. A woman who feels so low about herself that she would do something this disgraceful to herself.I hope OP is not this woman.Men who do this do not LOVE you.No judgement there. ONLY THE COLD HARD TRUTH.Find a guy who respects you and loves you ENOUGH to keep certain fantasies in his head. That is where they belong.It does NOT work that way in real life.And if somebody goes that down that road, it ruins relationships.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2017): I do feel a lot of the responses on here are very judgemental. Human sexuality comes in many forms and we all have desires and fantasies, some of which are not based around a traditional one on one relationship. The only question you need to answer is, do I want to do this? If you don't, you have to be honest and say so. Don't agree to something you don't want to do, just to keep him happy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2017): A man who asks his wife or girlfriend to do something like this has no love or respect for her. NONE. ZERO.You are just his living, breathing sex toy.If that was me, I would be out the door so fast, he wouldn't have a moment to even blink.How offensive for him to even think that of you. To even ask that of you.That is what whores do.I get fantasy. But if he really wants that fantasy, he should go do it with another woman and his friend. By then, you will have been long GONE.I do not think this is worth any consideration. The answer should be swift and instantaneous. I would have told him to fuck off the moment he suggested something so ridiculous and disrespectful to ME!No man who LOVES his wife or GF could STAND to see another man near her, not only emotionally but especially sexually.This is very telling about the way he feels about you. It says he does not give a shit about you.God only knows if you go through with this, what else he will ask of you?Yes, it would affect your relationship. If you went through with it, you would feel disgusted. Disgusted at yourself for doing something you really did not want to do in the first place, only maybe to please him. You will be disgusted at him for asking you to do such a thing. For being okay with another man penetrating you. And you will be disgusted at his friend for taking advantage of you and using your body as a human masturbation toy. The resentment all around will be impossible to turn around. And things would never be the same. And don't think they will want to do it just once!Things are never the same when couples bring other people into the bedroom. This is a sure fire way to a break up. In almost every case, unless it's open or they are swingers, couples have bad feelings after threesomes. Somebody is going to be resentful.So, if you want to play games and experiment, STAY SINGLE and find yourself like minded individuals who are out for pleasure and experimentation ONLY and NOT LOVE.Time to be single. Hope you see WHY!
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A
female
reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (15 March 2017):
 If he's already done this before then he doesn't need to 'TRY it' again. He already knows what it feels like.
And the fact that he himself described it as a 'tag team' makes it very clear where you fit in in all of this. This is a bromance with you as the sex toy.
It doesn't matter how new all this is to you. It's new to most people regardless of how old they are or how long they've been having sex. It's whether or not it holds immediate appeal to you and it clearly doesn't. If your boyfriend had offered to treat you to a spa day you wouldn't be here looking for reassurance. You'd know right away if it was something you wanted.
It's a common fantasy in that it's not unusual and it certainly isn't a must have. What IS unusual, or at least used to be depending on your age and social circles, is how brazenly and casually some men request one. Even as far as I can tell your boyfriend is still, thankfully, in the minority.
My opinion, tell him 'no'. Be direct and totally unapologetic. No explanations are required or should be given. You could even warn him that you're now re-evaluating this whole relationship.
I'm afraid he's not a keeper.
Think about what I said, 'try it' and 'tag team'.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (15 March 2017):
 OP let me tell you something very clearly.
This guy has zero and I mean ZERO respect for you.
Any decent man who loves his partner will never ever pimp her out in this way. His friend is equally terrible and they're both a team. I don't think either of them are interested in a relationship with a girl; they are just out to share a girl who they can have a good time with, laugh about it and then move on to the next one. I bet your boyfriend was building his ground carefully over the past year with you, trying to slowly initiate you into this and now he and his friend have decided that the time is right to pop the question. Make no mistake, they're into this big time and he's most likely banging other women even now.
If you're OK with being in a relationship where your boyfriend passes you around to good best friend then go for it.
Remember, there is a huge catch on what he's asking. Threesomes are not that uncommon and sometimes people do experiment for *themselves*, in their relationship, to spice things up.. However, this is not what your boyfriend wants. He's not asking you to do it with a stranger you pick up in a bar. He's asking you to do it with his best friend, he's asking for double penetration and he's saying that he and this friend have done it before with his ex girlfriend. There is a pattern here. He's not wanting a threesome for your relationship with him; he's wanting a threesome for his relationship with his friend. You, OP, are just the warm body.
Are you OK with this?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2017): Don't let your boyfriend manipulate you into being a sex-toy for his friends. He claims it didn't hurt a previous relationship? How do you know it didn't?
If you want a monogamous-relationship, and you want a boyfriend who respects you. I suggest you stand by your own values and do what's best for you.
You will be walking through a door where there's no turning back. What if his friend decides he wants to share the experience, and tell his other friends about it? You'll be paranoid every-time you're around him and other guys. What if he decides you're easy or cheap; and he can hit on you whenever he likes? He'll throw things in your face. Your boyfriend may do the same thing in a heated argument.
How many posts have we received when the person who wanted the threesome ends up being jealous; or the other two decide to hookup on their own? It's usually the male's ego that gets damaged in the process; because he believes you're his property. Decent guys don't ask their girlfriends to screw their buddies.
My advice is, no. If a man truly loves his lady, he will not share her with anyone. The point of a monogamous and committed relationship is to exclude others. Swinger or menage a toir affairs do change relationships. He'll keep coming up with fantasies, until one backfires. Then you'll get the blame. Men set double-standards for women. They'll deny it only to get what they want.
Watch-out, sister! He'll never see you the same. No matter what he says to the contrary.
You could be injured or contract a sexually-transmitted disease. You don't know his friend's sexual-habits, and too many partners increases your risk of infection. You've got enough on your hands with one guy at a time. What if the condom tears? You could become pregnant or infected.
NO is the best answer. Unless you have a thing for his buddy anyway.
Let me tell you something. You'll be outnumbered and things could get out of hand. If these guys are intoxicated or under the influence of drugs, you'll won't have the physical strength to handle two overly-excited males.
If you have to go this far to keep a man; he's not worth it girlfriend!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 March 2017):
 PS. I have been asked about threesomes ALOT. Primarily because I am open bisexual, so I get invitations pretty much all over from couples, and many times friends who want to spice up their sex life. I've engaged in it too, with friends, and it was lovely. But I have always turned down straight men who want MMF. Why? Because they just want to use me as a live blow up doll. Which is what your boyfriend is suggesting here. This isn't a threesome. He isn't sexually interested in his friend. They won't be doing things with each other. And it isn't about pleasuring you either. What he proposes is just a gang bang where you have to "take it" and for them to have all the enjoyment while you're just a prop. It wont be enjoyable for you at all. I have friends who have tried this sort of thing because their boyfriend had this fantasy also, and they tell me the exact same Im telling you now: it's not pleasurable for the woman at all, and it's just a huge ego boost to the guys, and they wish they never did it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (15 March 2017):
Just say no. Double penetration is for the very experienced women who are into this thing, and who for one enjoys anal, and secondly enjoys extreme sexual acts. This is NOT a thing I would recommend anyone who doesn't immediately jump up and down with excitement at the thought of it. You are either interested in this type of sexual play, or you aren't. It's not one of those things you need to try out first before you know if it's your type of thing. If it's not a fantasy of yours, or something you've thought about trying yourself, then say no.
Just because your boyfriend has this as his fetish (and I must add, this is up there at fetish level), doesn't mean you should indulge in it. He might not be the right sexual match for you.
Not to mention, if it's not your type of preferred sexual play, you WILL NOT ENJOY IT. Period. Double penetration is PAINFUL to the woman. It's not enjoyable unless you genuinely enjoy that sort of thing. It's the same as with people who enjoy being whipped. It hurts! It's something you either get a sexual high off from, or it is just plain and simple painful and degrading.
Say no. You're not interested in this kind of play, I can tell that much from your post. Your initial thought is "uuhmm... not so sure about this" = NO! If you had thought to yourself "Oh, that sounds interesting and kinky, and turns me on" = maybe you should try it. But your reaction is that you aren't really interested. So just say no.
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (15 March 2017):
 This is not a common fantasy for a man. Only a small subset of men want to see their woman "banged" by another man. Guys with this fetish are referred as "cuckolds" because no man typically should allow what's dear to him to be used by anothe guy. Some men do this because they have low opinion of a girl and would rather hook up a bro then care about long term affects of the MMF. As for sex, don't do stuff that you are not comfortable with. If you wish not to do it then say no and don't worry what he feels or that you spoiled his "fantasy". He sure wasn't worried about your fantasies when he told you about this one. The relationship may never be the same as many of posters on this site have asked advice over the years how to cope after a threesome or how to salvage the relationship. So I'd say odds are high that all of that will turn out bad.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 March 2017):
 I think a lot of people have 3-some fantasies - usually MFF. What makes his request a bit iffy is that he first of all calls it "tag team" - which sounds like you are just providing the holes, being a prop in his little "porn".
And he might not have a problem sharing you with his Best friend, but did the ex-gf have a problem being used as a "party favor" or fantasy fodder"?
Do you WANT to do what he suggests? Or are you only considering it to PLEASE him?
It seems like it's ALL about him and what HE wants to "try"... even though he has ALREADY done it with another girl.
I'd say, unless something in you goes: " UH I want to try having two guys poke me at the same time!!" I am not sure I'd want to do that. While it's GREAT that you are "open" with each other - you still NEED to have some standards to stick by and maybe - group sex is not something that you REALLY want - or is it? Because you don't mention what YOU really think or feel about it, just what HE wants.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (15 March 2017):
 It's normally a FFM fantasy men have (those that want a threesome), but most know it wouldn't be a good idea in practice.I think you should say no. Double penetration leaves them both in control, not you and using the term "tag team" just proves how immature, degrading and selfish he is.If you don't desperately want a threesome, say no. If you don't desperately want a threesome with him and his best fried, say no. If you don't want to be dominated by two guys, especially at the same time, say no.I'm sorry, OP, but your boyfriend seems pushy and rude. Having a threesome needs to be wanted by everyone, not "we tag teamed my ex so we want to tag team you!". Double penetration also needs to be decided on before the threesome and the men need to respect you (which "tag team" doesn't show), so they don't do it anyway and it becomes rape.Honestly, OP, I don't think you should even stay with him; sharing your girlfriends with your best friend is odd - most people choose someone new, not keep the best friend involved with each girlfriend.Either way, I think you'd regret the threesome and potentially get really hurt, especially as they are two young men who would think of it as a "tag team", not about your pleasure or comfort.
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