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... Send *ateyes a private message | | | *ateyes's profile:Hi...I'm Norma!
I live in the great state of Texas - born and raised in Houston. I have been divorced for 13yrs and have no children.(nor any plans - giving birth that is!) I am 43yrs young and enjoy my everday life! I have an excellent career as a VP & Branch Manager.
I can only say that any advise coming from me, would be an honest one. Mostly, it's from the heart, added with a touch of brains, common sense and compassion. I think everyone has done "something" in their life and has learned from it. For those of us who have, if we can help someone else not make the same mistake or maybe we might have first hand experience in, what a blessing that can be.
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| Latest articles: Till Death Do We Part - A True Story
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 June 2007: Doesn't anybody stay together anymore? In this day and time, it is so easy to get a divorce or even better...just live together to "see if it works out" first. Don't get me wrong, I personally believe there are good reasons to divorce, and I know I ...
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I don't know how to stop loving my husband, and I'm scared of being alone...
Q. I don't know how to stop loving my husband, and I'm scared of being alone. We've been together 6 years, married for 3. We have 2 small children, and I have a teenage daughter. My husband has always been a little distant emotionally, but lately ...
A. 15 June 2007: First off, I'm sorry to hear of the pain you are feeling, because I know it probably feels like a knife to the heart. What I will say is this....you really love your husband and I feel that you can work it all out before thinking divorce court. Let ... (read in full...)
My deep concerns for her safety, got me read the 'riot act' from her! Was I wrong to do what I did?
Q. heading for co-dependence? me 41 male, she 48. My first substantial significant other. she recently divorced, started drinking very later in life, became dependent, and has a hard time staying stopped for more than i think nine months @ one poin...
A. 14 June 2007: You did what you did because you love and care for her well being. The thing is, in my opinion, (once was married to an alcoholic) you get the impression from her that you shouldn't have done all what you did because your checking up on her and ... (read in full...)
I feel my girlfriend is losing interest in me....
Q. me and my girl have been together for three years now and it seems if she is losing interest in me. i noticed that she has been under a lot of stress lately due to bills etc. i havent been working for about 2 weeks and she takes ger frustration out ...
A. 10 June 2007: I know when I am stressed out, I can be quite moody. The thing is, even though I might be this way, it doesn't last for long. The reason, I understand the situation...and I realize it won't be like this forever. It's like saying I come back down to ... (read in full...)
Married 19 years and I cheated numerous times. My hubby didn't deserve this...any advice?
Q. my heads a mess but i think im starting to make sense of it all, im 40 and been married 19 yrs , all my life there has been a sum1 else, just a physical relationship, theres been 5 other people in my life in the time ive been married, i seemed to ...
A. 10 June 2007: I can't really say that I think your being with other men has to do with problems with the family. I do believe there are some problems don't get me wrong, but I think there might be some other issues. Even though the families do not treat you with ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 2 June 2007: NO, unless that is what you are looking for, but I don't think you are. I would wait until you meet someone new....and she will come along. Just be patient. This girl doesn't seem very kind to you and you don't want to be with someone who tells ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should drive to his home and confront him?
Q. I was in a relationship for four years (2 hours distance). I'm forty years of age but have never adored a man as much as this guy, who was 8 years younger. For me it was a wonderful relationship and felt as though I would've spent the rest of my ...
A. 31 May 2007: I know your not going to like to hear this, but, you should be happy!!! He had a gambling problem? That's like any other addiction and it sounds like you would probably get stuck paying the bills and his tabs. He did also tell you he found someone ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 31 May 2007: I really think you BOTH need to sit down and talk about your relationship and excatly what you want to get from it because I would hate to see you get hurt by her. It saddens me though to hear her say she wouldn't have done what she did because you ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 30 May 2007: First of all...NOTHING was your fault as I see it. I really think you have been quite the gentleman to her and apparently, she cannot appreciate that. For her being 18 with a high sex drive, that kinda tells me she might have been around the block ... (read in full...)
My wife and I want to try out some new ways which are exciting but extremely pleasureable sex wise, any ideas?
Q. me and my wife have been married for 7yrs this summer and been going out together since we were 16. We have always had a really good sex life and still at the age of 33 we still have sex between 3-5 times a week even though we have 2 kids. One is 17 ...
A. 29 May 2007: Here is a web site you might want to view for different sexual positions... www.sexinfo101.com
It has pictures, talks about sex toys, Q & A, you name it. Hopefully this will give you some different ways to spice it up. I realize you do have kids... (read in full...)
Husband is unable to perform sexually, due to drinking! What can I do?
Q. My Husband can no longer perform sex from drinking to much, and im very sexual woman, what in the dam can i do when he is my husband and i need good sex and affection, please help me please with some wisdom.......
A. 27 May 2007: It's hard to tell whether his drinking is all the time and you would consider him an alcoholic or not. Either way, it's hurting your marriage and I think he knows it as well. However, communication is the key to any relationship and you should talk ... (read in full...)
Can a friendship turn into a relationship?
Q. attraction does it mean that it could be a friendship and it could turn in to a relaationship. i have alot of attraction for a police officer....
A. 27 May 2007: You are attracted because you are probably physically attracted. However, whether physically or because you have a friendship with someone where you have a close bond, in my opinion, either could turn in to a relationship. But if it's only because ... (read in full...)
I am finally happy after a cheating ex bf and 2 abortions! Now I find out the ex is having regrets? I am confused..help??
Q. I'm a 25 yr old girl in a relationship with a boy almost 4 yrs younger. While this relationship is working out well, the one before this was terrible. The guy I had known since forever (since I was 10 actually) but he kept cheating on me and we kept ...
A. 26 May 2007: Why is it that men or women keep going back to the one's that keep hurting them? It's not love...probably something else if we get to the root of it. Do we not feel we deserve better? Do we not feel good about ourselves? Could be because they know ... (read in full...)
How do I move on from my ex love?
Q. Please help me. My boyfriend, who I loved dearly, broke up with me almost five months ago. I heard he had met someone else ( we were long distance and he lives in another country) and was seeing her. I was so devastated. We had been trying t...
A. 26 May 2007: Moving on is hard, but like everyone else, we do it. It takes time. It's not an overnight success though we wish it could. To be honest, even though you were in a long distance relationship, if he was truly committed to you, I don't think this ... (read in full...)
I really think she is interested in my husband! What's my next move?
Q. I am struggling with this girl, who lives on the same street as we do (my husband and I) and since there jas been a no smoking ban in public bars and restaurants, we hang out at home. I am usually inside but since it has been considerably warm in ...
A. 26 May 2007: IF it were me, both me and my husband would talk with her and her husband when you "think" she might be straight. Let her know that you do not appreciate her asking your husband to get drugs for her and that you 2 do not participate in such things. ... (read in full...)
Found a small painful lump on my armpit. What could it be?
Q. hi ive recently been having a pain under my arm that started like 2 days ago and ive just found a lump in my armpit. its small but painful if i press it. what could this be? i cant get a doctors appointment before i go on holiday in 2 days time and ...
A. 26 May 2007: It could be various things...my first thought though is a blocked sweat gland. This is common in many people. However, I would not let it mess up your weekend, but as soon as you can make it to a doctor's appt, let them check it out. Always to be ... (read in full...)
Feel uncomfortable about my grown-up boys having their girlfriends stay over...
Q. I am 52 yrs.old and have two college-aged boys (20 and 22 years old). They've come home for the summer to live with me and work and both of their gilfriends have been hanging out with them at my house. This is fine, but then the g/f's have started ...
A. 25 May 2007: Even though I am not a parent, I have several neices and nephews all high school, college and older. As an aunt, I have played the role of "Mom" several times because I have been down the road of hard knocks and can relate more to many of the ... (read in full...)
We've been together 3 years but she is soo beautiful and I'm worried I'm too average to keep her satisified!
Q. My g/f and I have been together for almost 3 years, the first six months, just as friends, then lovers, then I asked her to move in with me and she's been there for a year-and-a-half. I love her but I'm starting to feel a little insecure about our ...
A. 25 May 2007: Take all the love and compliments that she gives you....and I PRAY your sending them right back to her!!! I can't speak for all women, but your wife sounds a lot like me. When I was married, I did alot of what your wife does and even when I was in ... (read in full...)
He's an out of control drinker but is now in therapy. What milestones do I look for, in a one-year sobriety?
Q. Can someone really change? I dated a man for 6 years. We were married, built a house for our family (we each have two kids) and after only 10 months I left. He became increasingly controlling, picking on the kids and I, name-calling but worst of...
A. 25 May 2007: Sorry CateQnA....my computer crashed and I didn't think my first reponse posted...oops! I am glad you are going to a meeting. And I do wish you two the best and pray it does work out because even though I may sound like divorce is the answer and ... (read in full...)
My untrustworthy alcoholic b-i-l is moving in w/ us! How can we help? How do I not become resentful?
Q. Hello - I've asked about my alcoholic brother in law before, but I have a few new questions now because the situation has changed a bit. (I'm linking my first question at the bottom.) First let me set everything up (names changed, too): I'm 25, my...
A. 25 May 2007: Please have a heart to heart with your husband about all of this and I pray you will get him to understand, because I would hate for his brother to come between you because of his alcohol problem. Tough love is the hardest like I said, however, ... (read in full...)
Can I ever learn to trust my husband again after his lies?
Q. Can I ever learn to trust my husband again? I just found out 6 month ago that my husband has to children from a previous marraige. We have been dating for 6 years and have been married for two. Its not that I didn't ask he just flat out lied, an...
A. 24 May 2007: Personally, I think if a person would lie about not having children and they did, that would only make me question what else have they lied about. That is not something to me you lie about. However, I would be curious to know his response as to ... (read in full...)
He's an out of control drinker but is now in therapy. What milestones do I look for, in a one-year sobriety?
Q. Can someone really change? I dated a man for 6 years. We were married, built a house for our family (we each have two kids) and after only 10 months I left. He became increasingly controlling, picking on the kids and I, name-calling but worst of...
A. 24 May 2007: Six years and you didn't see it? He must have been good at hiding it or was a really good liar...most alcoholics are extremly good at this. To answer your question, yes, but as long as they are doing it for themselves and no one else. You mention ... (read in full...)
Waiting for sex until after marriage, any opinions?
Q. Abstaining from sex till marriage? I’m a virgin, abstaining from sex till marriage. My main fear, if I’m even lucky enough to find love is that if my partner might cheat on me. The only reason I fear this is because of what I’ve heard in the medi...
A. 24 May 2007: First I applaud you!! And you cannot go in to a marriage thinking is she going to cheat on you or will we get divorced. You need to be really positive in your thinking and work towards your happy relationship everyday. Notice I said EVERYDAY. ... (read in full...)
He's an out of control drinker but is now in therapy. What milestones do I look for, in a one-year sobriety?
Q. Can someone really change? I dated a man for 6 years. We were married, built a house for our family (we each have two kids) and after only 10 months I left. He became increasingly controlling, picking on the kids and I, name-calling but worst of...
A. 24 May 2007: People can change...IF they REALLY want to. But they should not do it for someone...they should do it for themselves because they want to be a better person and they realize their screwing up their lives (not to mention others). Therapist sounds ... (read in full...)
I feel terribly trapped in my marriage of 13 years
Q. I feel terribly trapped in my marriage of 13 years and don't know whether I should go all out to get out of it now or just accept that I am where I am and see where things go. I feel the latter is just like giving up on life but have so little ...
A. 23 May 2007: The first thing I think of is....it doesn't matter if he hit you once every blue moon...the point is he did and he does and it is wrong. (and still will for that matter) NO ONE deserves to be treated as you have been. This is NOT normal and you may ... (read in full...)
My untrustworthy alcoholic b-i-l is moving in w/ us! How can we help? How do I not become resentful?
Q. Hello - I've asked about my alcoholic brother in law before, but I have a few new questions now because the situation has changed a bit. (I'm linking my first question at the bottom.) First let me set everything up (names changed, too): I'm 25, my...
A. 23 May 2007: From experience here...I was once married to an alcoholic when I was in my 20's. He to was spoiled wrotten by his parents and family and they forgave him and always helped him for just about everything. What it did was not only ruin my already ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 23 May 2007: I am SO happy for you!!! Best of Luck with her and I really do hope things work out for you. Just remember to take it slow....don't rush in to everything all at once.
Take Care and enjoy your new relationship!!... (read in full...)
He treats me like a queen, is rich and successful, single, never been married and is a nice guy... but I have some concerns!
Q. Hi I'm sort of dating a 44 yr old man (I'm 25). He's liked me for a year now and when I broke up with my ex, he took the chance to tell me that he likes me. Since then, we've been casually dating. He treats me like a queen, is rich and success...
A. 23 May 2007: If you don't think you could ever get over the age gap, then again, I think you should just remain friends. I really would hate to see you waste time in someone that you really can not see yourself 100% happy with...but those are just my thoughts. ... (read in full...)
I was molested and raped, how do I overcome my insecurities and start a relationship with a guy I like?
Q. I have been through a lot in my life. I was molested by my step brothers, and raped a while afterwards. I've only had one really serious relationship, and that was about 3 years ago now. I have a lot of insecurities, and I don't know how to overcome ...
A. 22 May 2007: There is much of what "bubbloo24" stated that I will not repeat again that I find very true. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. No one should ever have to go through something like this. My heart goes out to you. Whether "he" is the one ... (read in full...)
He treats me like a queen, is rich and successful, single, never been married and is a nice guy... but I have some concerns!
Q. Hi I'm sort of dating a 44 yr old man (I'm 25). He's liked me for a year now and when I broke up with my ex, he took the chance to tell me that he likes me. Since then, we've been casually dating. He treats me like a queen, is rich and success...
A. 22 May 2007: First I congratulate you for seeing and questioning your concerns. I think most females would love to take advantage of a man such as he and never think twice about it, however, you already have been answering your own thoughts and questions. I ... (read in full...)
We decided to have sex, but now I'm worried that he won't like my body. Should I go through with it?
Q. I have not had sex within a relationship in a good while, my current/new bf and I have mutually decided it is time to go there. I was all for it at first and now I am having great anxieties over my body and whether he'll accept my post mom much less ...
A. 22 May 2007: Number #1..repeat after me...NO ONE HAS THE PERFECT BODY!!
Number #2..feel comfortable in the skin your in, otherwise if you truly can't, then maybe try working out at home or the gym if this will ease your mind.
I seriously think that if you two ... (read in full...)
I suspect he's living with his family. How do I get him to confess?
Q. I am in a relationship with this guy I met on the internet. He has a wife and three kids. He says he loves me and that we are soulmates!He has made so many promises and sent me some really nice things. I have never been this in love! He says he ...
A. 22 May 2007: How easy it is to fall for someone that you've never met because he is paying you lots of attention on the internet. Now that you can SEE all the "signs" of a married man who is more then likely just wanting to have an "internet affair"...I would ... (read in full...)
I've been together with him for 10 years but he still won't marry me. Why has he suddenly started sleeping in another room?
Q. after ten year with my children father and owning our home still I feel he is cheating because he sill won't marry me. He says its not me because I am a good person, what should I do. He has since recently started sleeping in another room what is ...
A. 22 May 2007: I know a couple who was in this same situation except they were together for over 14 years. He refused to get married, merely because HE felt he had been betrayed by her early on in their relationship. Now I am not saying this is your situation, ... (read in full...)
How can I get to meet a nice girl? I've been single for 5 years now.
Q. I, need advice on how to get a girlfriend. Can any ladies out there help. I'm 29 and have been single for over 5 years now. But the fact is , that i never get to meet them. I never meet any through friends, as half of my friends have never had a ...
A. 22 May 2007: Have you ever thought you might be "desperatly" seeking her and it's coming across that way to ANY girl you might be meeting? We women are pretty good at seeing that...and we do normally avoid "those" men. Why? Because we don't see them as really ... (read in full...)
Am I right to just get on with my life???
Q. Hi Guys. I've had loads of help from you over the last few months. I split up with my partner after over 4 years of being together a couple of months ago. My feelings for him had changed and felt like we were in a brother/sister type ...
A. 20 May 2007: Ususally when I hear the chemistry is no longer there, it's because one or both parties stop making the effort and take each other for granted. I hear what you are saying, however, I guess my question to you would be have both of you really had a ... (read in full...)
Ive lost all confidence with women, I have a good job, house etc, but underneath it all I'm stuck in this rut and desperately unhappy!
Q. I have been seperated from my wife of 14yrs for over 9 months and in that period i have had a couple of relaionships one which hurt me alot. We split because i didnt love her following many years of her gambling addiction and all the lies and stuff ...
A. 20 May 2007: I am sorry to hear about your painful divorce. As I read all the postings below, especially from the "anonymous" female, I have to agree with what is being said. I have been divorced for almost 11 years, I've dated and was in 2 other relationships ... (read in full...)
I have 3 kids from a previous relationship and I want another one with my new man...but he doesn't want any! What can I do?
Q. i have met a wonderful man that i love with all my heart i have 3 children from a previous relationship the problem is i always thought i would have more children one day as i am only 28 but my new man says he cant have children and i have now found ...
A. 19 May 2007: I'm a bit confused...he can't have children or he doesn't want any children? I'm reading this 2 ways here from you and the main question at top, however, either way you have to make the choice which to you is more important AND will you be able to ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 19 May 2007: It sounds as things went very well for you both!! I'm glad for you. Just remember to take things slow and let things progress on their own, don't be in a rush as this to me would probably "kill" the friendship you two have so far. In my opinion, ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Video introduction to the site from Andrew, site founder!
Q. Message from Andrew, site founder: (let me know your comments!)...
A. 18 May 2007: Great introduction and so nice to put a face to a name!! I have to admit like some of the others....LOVE the accent!!! Keep up the great work!!... (read in full...)
I need some help as I've fallen for a man who is married with children
Q. I need some help as I've fallen for a man who is married with children I see him once a week usually I am a client of where he works. We've known each other for about two years on and off. I keep thinking of him and I saw him the other day When I ...
A. 16 May 2007: We need to remember that he is MARRIED and has a wife and children. Being that you have come out of a relationship, it is easy to say that you probably are seeing him as a "rebound" because he probably is someone close to you that you deal with ... (read in full...)
What can I do to earn some money???
Q. i want to buy new clothes because my wardrobe isnt up to date, and im not a snobby person, i just like to look pretty. but i never have any money! and i dont no how to earn it. i cant work because i go to saturday school and on a sunday i do cors...
A. 16 May 2007: When I was your age, I did various jobs because I to, wanted better clothes and wanted to save for a car that I knew my parents could not afford to buy me. When I was in junior high school - at 15, I did baby-sitting, cut lawns / yard work, worked ... (read in full...)
Is he pulling back because he's not interested or because of ex-wife issues?
Q. I'm 38 and been dating a single dad now for just under 3 months. We've had a passionate dating relationship for the first 2 months and we are have so much in common. He verbally treats with with the utmost respect and is very considerate whe...
A. 13 May 2007: Sounds as if you 2 hit it off quite well. However, I think because he has some "issues" still pending with the ex, it's just to hard for him to handle his job, the ex, his child...and then you. I don't think it's not that he doesn't want you in his ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 12 May 2007: I have to admit, Midge said everything that I would be telling you....and you know excatly what your limitations are, however, you will never know until you try. AND BELIEVE ME, I WOULD TRY TO DO IT..NEVER SAY NEVER OR I CAN'T DO SOMETHING!! ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 11 May 2007: I know this may seem kinda weird, but...I would do something that either neither of you know how to do or haven't done in a long time. Something that is fun where both of you can laugh and have something to talk about afterwards. For instance, can ... (read in full...)
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