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How can I get to meet a nice girl? I've been single for 5 years now.

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Question - (21 May 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 May 2007)
A male United Kingdom, *eithym writes:

I, need advice on how to get a girlfriend. Can any ladies out there help. I'm 29 and have been single for over 5 years now. But the fact is , that i never get to meet them. I never meet any through friends, as half of my friends have never had a girlfriend, and the other are just acquaintences who i go out on the ale with. I seem to be restricted to either meeting girls on nights out. On these nights I tend to get drunk and so try to pull them on the dance floor. This method used to work about 5 years ago when I was in university but never seems to anymore (Is this because you girls are more weary of men on nights out these days?) Other people suggest asking girls out form work or at the gym etc. I just dont get to chat to girls in my ofice on a social level as i take my work seriously. And who gets to chat to people at the gym. It just seems like everyone keeps themselves to themselves and are too hot and bothered to chat.

Sorry for whinging on but I cant see how i'm ever going to gind a girl again. Can anyone help??

Keith :-)

View related questions: drunk, get a girlfriend, never had a girlfriend, university

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A female reader, nicola79 United Kingdom +, writes (22 May 2007):

nicola79 agony auntyou dont seem to think too much of your self,why is this.

you dont need to get drunk to be with a girl you know. you just have to have faith in yourself ok.

i think more woman are put off when drunken men make a pass on them,because we tend to think that maybe you are after anyone who will have you.

if you see someone you like you need to feel good about yourself and confident and that will show.

i would say the best thing to do is, if you go out with your mates,then go out to be with them and not just to make it a mission to find a woman.if while your out and you do meet someone then thats great,but if not then dont worry because it will happen if not now then later.

you seem great so dont worry ok?

ive got my fingers crossed for you.

nicola,xxxxxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, Cateyes United States +, writes (22 May 2007):

Cateyes agony auntHave you ever thought you might be "desperatly" seeking her and it's coming across that way to ANY girl you might be meeting? We women are pretty good at seeing that...and we do normally avoid "those" men. Why? Because we don't see them as really wanting to get to know us, just that they may be looking for a bride. We do want to get married - don't get me wrong, but to someone who is happy with themselves and who are comfortable with their everyday life. As far as meeting a lady, you could meet her ANYWHERE...and that doesn't necessarily mean that where you met her is the "proper" place. You could meet a "not so exceptable female" in a bar/club just as you could at the gym. You know "they" probably want to stay fit to, right? Everywhere you are, everywhere you go...it is a place where you could meet "her". The one that says to you....I want to get to know her! So where ever that might be that you see her, YOU just need to go up to her and say hi and strike a conversation. I would hope you wouldn't come across as the "mad rapist" doing this (I think you know what I mean), but just as someone who is showing an interest in meeting her and wanting to get to know her. It's taking the chance and running with it. And if you KEEP thinking of rejection...that is what will always happen! Think positive, have a smile...women are suckers for those...and you will meet the woman of your dreams. I will admit though, where alcohol is served MIGHT not be the best place because you are not really yourself...we all know what alcohol can do to a person!! (smile) Also, if you have single girlfriends, you can talk with them and ask if they know any nice single girls that you could possibly meet. Just a thought...

Good Luck to you!!

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (21 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntJust be yourself. I try to date girls who share my interests, or are as passionate at what they do in their lives as I am to music. If you go to the gym, find a girl who likes to run or work out in the morning. Look around for someone who shares your passions in life...

DV1

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (21 May 2007):

kenny agony auntMeeting someone in a bar or a club is not the healthiest place to meet someone, invariably everyone has been drinking and are not really themselves.

Listen to those other people when they say about talking to people from work or the gym, these are really good places to meet people, you are yourself and you have also got a starting point for a conversation. Even at the local supermarket, in a library, or even walking down the road you could potentially meet the woman of you dreams.

If you go with the attitude how am i ever going to find a girl again, the likellhood is you won't. Stay positive in the thought that there is a girls out there for you. I always find that you tend to meet more girls when you are not expecting it, or not looking. I think the female sex can sense desperation a mile off, so don't appear to keen, act cool as if you are spoken for and see what happens.

Good luck

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