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... Send *ateyes a private message | | | *ateyes's profile:Hi...I'm Norma!
I live in the great state of Texas - born and raised in Houston. I have been divorced for 13yrs and have no children.(nor any plans - giving birth that is!) I am 43yrs young and enjoy my everday life! I have an excellent career as a VP & Branch Manager.
I can only say that any advise coming from me, would be an honest one. Mostly, it's from the heart, added with a touch of brains, common sense and compassion. I think everyone has done "something" in their life and has learned from it. For those of us who have, if we can help someone else not make the same mistake or maybe we might have first hand experience in, what a blessing that can be.
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| Latest articles: Till Death Do We Part - A True Story
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 June 2007: Doesn't anybody stay together anymore? In this day and time, it is so easy to get a divorce or even better...just live together to "see if it works out" first. Don't get me wrong, I personally believe there are good reasons to divorce, and I know I ...
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I always "freeze" when having to take the conclusive steps to end my marriage, because of the abuses. What to do about the indecisiveness?
Q. I really need help to make a very big decision - that is to leave my husband. I am 35 - no children. What I guess I am asking is why I have deliberated over it for so long when the evidence that we are not right for each other is so obvious. I ha...
A. 12 January 2008: Dear Annon, I wish I knew why he emotionally abuses you. Emotional abuse is wrong, however you look at it, however, I'm wondering if there are other factors that play in to this that he may not even realize. Making a marriage work is a two way ... (read in full...)
What can I do to comfort him?
Q. I have a problem with something that's going on with my relationship. My fiance and I have been together for almost 6 years now and things could not be better. He has always had this friend that I didn't like because he's loud, obnoxious, and j...
A. 5 January 2008: If this was a totally "good friend" of his, it's probably really killing him inside to think his so called good friend did this to you and to him! And how long did he know him?? THAT is eating him up, he lost his so called good friend because of ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with his friend?
Q. a 12 year old girl my boyfriend wants me to come over his hous tomorrow and have sex with ohis other friend who seems nice. what do I do, if I go I dont know wat will happen buut if I dont hell break up with me. I eed help please!...
A. 5 January 2008: YOU ARE 12...you should NOT be having sex at that age...PERIOD! IF anyone tries to force you, to pressure you into doing it....they are NOT your friends and you need to stay clear of them. IF your boyfriend is having sex with you, I hate to say ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to just have a sexual soulmate?
Q. I am married. My husband and I are part of an open sexual lifestyle. We attend Adult lifestyle parties here and there. I have never made any connection to another man in years. I have just met a man and have been sexual with him 3 times now. I ...
A. 5 January 2008: I personally do not believe we have an actual soulmate in the beginning. I believe when you are married we mold into the person that becomes your "soulmate"....because to me, a soulmate doesn't happen over night it takes time and during that time ... (read in full...)
My partners daughter resents me, how do I handle this?
Q. Dear Cupid. This has got to be a recurrent problem. I adore my partner. We met at work, and our feelings grew from there. She has 3 children, the eldest, a boy of 18, and the youngest, who is a girl of 8, have presented, and continue to pres...
A. 31 December 2007: It is true that "in time", not just this one child, but the other two as well will see you in a different light. However, being that this sounds very recent, I would never try to be the "father figure", I would start off by being their best friend. ... (read in full...)
I'm middle aged, met the girl of my dreams in Spain, she broke up as I was moving too fast. Will the present I sent her make her reanalyse the situation?
Q. im a middle aged man,in june i went to spain and met the girl of my dreams,i traveled to spain 4 times to see her she came to london,i though everything was great,unfortunately i got carried away and went to fast,resulting in getting dumped for ...
A. 27 December 2007: Even though you bought her a present, I'm sure what is a beautiful bracelet, you really need to slow it down a bit. Sure she loved it...I would too!!! BUT, if she says your going to fast, or the attraction or mental state is not 100% there, you ... (read in full...)
Happy Xmas from DearCupid
Q. Happy Xmas everyone :-) The aunts who share their wisdom, the people who share their questions and the team of moderators who keep everything flowing onto the site! Plus the 350,000 people who visit each month Have a great Xmas! Feel free t...
A. 23 December 2007: Merry Christmas Andrew and to all the wonderful aunt's and uncle's to!! May each of you be blessed not only this season, but for all the many seasons in the making. May the love in your hearts bring joy to everyone and where ever you may be.
M... (read in full...)
We never wanted this to happen...but now neither of us can bear to break it off.
Q. Hi, I am semi-happily married and have fallen for another girl. This girl is also happily married and she has fallen for me. Neither of us went looking for this since we were both in seemingly happy marriages. Now my marriage is under strain a...
A. 6 December 2007: I may not know all the "aunts and uncles" on this web site, but what I feel I can say for all of us is that no one here will offer you any advise on how to win your mistress.
What is best to offer you is to stop your affair with this woman and ... (read in full...)
How long should I be with my gf before we sleep together?
Q. i'm kinda a fish outta water when it comes to relationships, being that iv only had one, ever! which im still in, im jus wondering how long should i be with my gf before we sleep together?...
A. 6 December 2007: First of all, there's no time limit, set age requirement...however, YOU do not do anything that you are not comfortible with...and even if that means till you get married. You do not compare yourself to another. You do what is morally right in ... (read in full...)
I think I'm being stalked by my psycho ex who tracked me down on a school reunion site!
Q. A friend who asked a question here and got some good advice recommended me to this site. I just started looking around, but I like it. I might just start answering questions myself. Anyway, my request for advice deals with an ex-girlfriend fr...
A. 6 December 2007: I'll make this quick and simple...report to your local phone company the problem. Ask them if they can give you a temporary phone number for one month and go back to your original one. What they will do, is your "old" phone number will show as no ... (read in full...)
What flowers should I buy to express my sorry?
Q. What are the best flowers to say "im sorry i want you back" and anyone know a great site for it?...
A. 6 December 2007: From the heart is what I would want to hear, however, their is a really neet web site and I think it's called speakingroses.com or something like that.
I recieved one in a glass bulb with a wooden bottom to place on my desk that never dies. Insi... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair, but neither of us will leave our partners, now he's flirting with other girls in the office, what should I do?
Q. I have been married for almost 13 yers now and a year and a half ago I fell for this man who happens to be my boss- we have had sex a couple of times and he says he loves me. But he is also married and I don't know what his intentions are. Howver, ...
A. 6 December 2007: Pure and simple...end it. It never should have started to begin with, right? I mean, you do love your husband...and "if" you do, you would consult with him any "feelings" that you have that may make you feel as if your being neglected, poor ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating when a wife exchanges expensive gifts and dates another man, even if they never had sex.
Q. A married woman dates a man who is not her husband and for Christmas gives him a gift of a Playstation and two games while accepting an expensive watch in return. She never had sex with this man, but has embraced him and seen him behind her ...
A. 5 December 2007: Whether she did have sex with him or not...and personally, I think she did, but that would be me..she did this because she "cares" about him. Now whether she loves him or not is a different story. She may be in love with him and she may be in ... (read in full...)
I found out he cheated, he then chose her over me, but I still want him back, how can I do this?
Q. I have been with my mate for 13 years, in October I found out he was cheating on me. (he was not the one told me) I confronted him and made him choose. He chose her! Since then,we talk maybe once a week, and he says he is sorry and that he did not ...
A. 4 December 2007: Right now...he knows he can come back to you...he knows that you are there "waiting" for him, whether your at home or not. If he cheated and chose to run off with her, and then still tells you he loves you while with her....he is keeping you on the ... (read in full...)
My hormones are killing me and I want to know if it’s all right for me to date even though I’m still married officially, or is it considered cheating?
Q. I have been separated from my wife for over a year and looking forward to get divorced soon. My question is this: My hormones are killing me and I want to know if it’s all right for me to date even though I’m still married officially, or is it ...
A. 4 December 2007: I totally can relate to what you are saying and feeling. However, I did wait till I was divorced before dating again. The reason is, because I knew in my heart, I did do all I could do to try and save my marriage and mean what I said at the alter. ... (read in full...)
Torn between two...
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a problem that I have been married for 20 years and am in love with two woman. I got married at 19 and have 2 older children. I never thought that I would ever be a cheater. My wife is one that has never supported career...
A. 29 November 2007: I read your question last night, unfortunately, I did not have time to answer, so I hope you get this. First, I know someone in this same situation. Let me first start off by saying...because your wife knows about the affair, is she telling you ... (read in full...)
Husband having midlife crisis?? I want affection from him but I've read men don't offer it during this time. What can I do?
Q. I am a 31 yr old female with a 37 yr old husband of 10 yrs, been together 15, have 2 boys, 4 and 7. Husband I think is going through midlife crisis. Last yr he decided to have an affair for 2 months in which i caught him in, he then moved out, ...
A. 12 November 2007: Personally I do not think it's a mid life crisis...it's him or both of you not being able to communicate effectively. If he claims he was having great sex from his mistress, why cannot he achieve that with you? If it's because you are still hurt ... (read in full...)
My wife no longer loves me after what I thought were 15 happy yrs. Out of the blue. How can it better?
Q. Hello, i am lost. My wife has just told me she no longer loves me after what i thought were 15 happy years together. This is a bolt out of the blue for me. We have 3 children, I cannot fight her on this because it only drives her further away,...
A. 12 November 2007: All what you have said are understandable, but what you haven't stated is why she feels this way or what brought this "all of a sudden" about. Did you talk with her and what was her reply? In order for me to feel as if I can give you any feed ... (read in full...)
My husband cheated, now this girl wont leave us alone? Why?
Q. My husband cheated on me. The thing is that the girl keeps bugging him and saying she wont leave him alone because he has hurt her so much. What does she means with that? I read this on a letter she wrote to him. Why is she so insistent?...
A. 9 November 2007: She probably needs her own closure. And I'm not saying this in her defense because what happened was wrong from the beginning, but had he been single, most couples do have some sort of closure and I can guarentee you he promised her a relationship ... (read in full...)
Who would you choose - money or no money?
Q. Ok,Simple question. If you re torn betweet two men for marrige, One of whom Is pretty rich(can have laisure and relaxed life with), and the Other not so much(indeed may have money problem later), You like them both in certain way, Who would you ...
A. 4 November 2007: Love is not about money, know that. Having that "extra" can be great especially when it comes to hard times. However, how you should be viewing this is, what do you feel when you are with each? You might "think" you love both, but honestly, your ... (read in full...)
His car brok down and can't continue this.
Q. I am a 38 year old woman who was in a long distance relationship with a wonderful man. He is handsome, charming, smart, fun, kind, and everything else that a man should be. I have never met a man like him in my entire life. The problem was that ...
A. 4 November 2007: I guess it really depends on how serious the relationship was/is. Was he just mad because the car broke down...which can be repaired, maybe it was just frustration that came out? I also think, if he was serious and really wanted to be with you, it ... (read in full...)
She cheated and I'm scared of making the wrong decision.
Q. My wife of 5 years has had an affair. I'm devestated, but prepared to forgive (I think). Just one thing I can't get over, I don't want every gorey detail, but when I ask her to explain why she did it, she says. 'I don't know, It just happened...
A. 31 October 2007: Affairs "just" don't happen...period. There is a reason and she is probably one who is not good at opening up to you or feels as if she can't tell you what she really wants in her relationship. This is just an example, however, there could be more ... (read in full...)
How can I describe to him what it's like to have sex with someone who's so drunk they hardly can recall it? He hid this "habit" until after we got married.
Q. I'm 51 y/o, married 7 months to a total alcoholic, functional in all ways, but a drunk nevertheless. He hid it from me until after we were married. I knew he drank a few beers a day, but not also at least a 1/2 pint of vodka, too, straight from the ...
A. 21 October 2007: I agree with much "Friend Tom" had to say. I to was married to an alcoholic and I never knew he had a heavy drinking problem till after we married. Being young then, and very naive, I must say there is so much I would have done different like in ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should stay or leave.
Q. iam a married women of 22 yrs in love with another married man at work we both feel the same way about each other but have younger children ( his a younger than mine)he feels they are to young to leave, he has no sexual relationship with his wife ...
A. 16 October 2007: I think that's there favorite line that married men use....I'm staying because of the children and there's no sexual relations with my wife. Major BS! If your husband found out, do you think he would want to save your marriage, probably not. Do you ... (read in full...)
My husband is a chronic cheater
Q. I am trying to figure out what is going on with men.My husband of 9 years, has been cheating on me. I caught him, he didnt confess. For about a year he was doing web cam dates (spent about $4500)then the past 6 months paid escorts(about 40 different ...
A. 16 October 2007: Just like with AA, their are sex addicts who need help also. First, I would most certainly make sure you protect yourself from not getting any type of disease if you still are having sex with him. Aids, herpes, you name it...you could catch ... (read in full...)
In love with a pathological liar and the lack of trust is eating me up inside.
Q. This is a long story! I have been with the same girl for over a year now and I am very much in love with her. I am sad alot of the time because I don't trust her. In the first month we were together I asked her if she still was in contact with oth...
A. 16 October 2007: Bottom line is if you can't build your relationship on trust, what can you? And will you be happy? Really happy?
It sounds as if she has told you to many lies and you are now finding them all out one by one. They are the lies to cover up the othe... (read in full...)
I left my husband because he's an alcoholic.To get him to an AA meeting should I resort to getting him there sneakily?
Q. Long story short, my husband is an alcoholic. I've actually had to leave him because it had gotten so bad. We've been separated for nearly 2 months now and he is begging and begging for me to come back. I keep telling him that he needs to get ...
A. 16 October 2007: One last thing...purchase the AA book, otherwise known as their "Bible"...and read the chapter that is "To The Wives". It's very helpful to you and to what is going on in your relationship. However, there are many books that cliam they are AA, but ... (read in full...)
I left my husband because he's an alcoholic.To get him to an AA meeting should I resort to getting him there sneakily?
Q. Long story short, my husband is an alcoholic. I've actually had to leave him because it had gotten so bad. We've been separated for nearly 2 months now and he is begging and begging for me to come back. I keep telling him that he needs to get ...
A. 16 October 2007: You can't trick the trickster....he's very smart. Once married to an alcoholic...the pro in drinking and in getting you to believe any and everything that he wants you to and also what you want to believe SO BAD.
Once you say something, don't ever... (read in full...)
Are there any good women in the world?
Q. Are there any good women in the world? Everywhere I look they always seem to be horrible. Doesn't help when the last 2 girls I dated were snidy even though they dumped me after 3 and 1 dates respectively. I was nice to them. ...
A. 16 October 2007: I agree with the last response in how women are "picked", however, you may need to do some searching within yourself to see what types of women you ask out. Women, like men, vary in every shape, size, color, personality, you name it...and being ... (read in full...)
My love is getting divorced, getting back with her husband, taking a break... It keeps changing and I am heartbroken and lost
Q. OK here goes i am 26 and she is 26 ,i am about to spill my heart out for advice ,everything i am about to mention is the truth , some things have not been mentioned to protect the people involved however this is only about half of the things i would ...
A. 16 October 2007: First of all, and you want me to be honest with you..you should have never went out with her from the beginning, she is married. If it's that bad at home, why has she not already left? Why is it still dragging on? She either wants to work it out ... (read in full...)
I need some birthday present ideas - any suggestions?
Q. Okay So Here Is The Delio, My Boyfriend And I Are In Love. Sounds Awsome, I Know, We Have Been Going Out For Quite Sometime Now And I Love Him With All My Heart, And He Loves Me The Same. The Thing Is He's Such A Passive Guy And His Birthday Is ...
A. 13 October 2007: A place called Cookie Bouquet makes all types of fun cookies in shapes that you might want. I sent a great friend of mine in a band one with musical notes, a saxaphone and a heart saying "I Love You". You can add one saying "Happy Birthday" as ... (read in full...)
My husband's impatience has taken it's tole on his social life. Any advice?
Q. 25 yrs of marriage need urgent advice.My husband has always been impatient but not in a really bad way. Rare occasions evry 5 yrs he has fallen out with someone he disagreed with or been rude to a friend. He won't socialise very well with people he ...
A. 12 October 2007: Well Di, first I'd like to congratulate you on being married for 25 yrs, how wonderful! Impatience, I think we all have it, just some more then others, and in some there's even alot more then others! It's also very hard to "change" someone if they ... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't allow me the same level of freedom he gives himself. He also accuses me of cheating! What can I do?
Q. Ive been with my partner for 6 years, we have 2 kids wee girl 7 months and wee boy 2 1/2 years. At the beginning we had a great life, then I started going out with my mates male and female, he would only let me out until 8pm snd if I was 1 min late ...
A. 11 October 2007: Just a thought....how about instead of each of you going out separately, how about you two going out as a family and every week make it just for you two so you both can have some alone time together. Get a baby sitter when you need one. When you ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Big milestone..... over 300,000 unique visitors over the past month :-)
Q. Cool... Over the past month, from Sept 8th to Oct 9th we had over 300,000 unique visitors to the site! According to google analytics we had 302,516 visitors. It doesn't seem that long ago I was posting when we had passed 250,000 visitors/month. ...
A. 11 October 2007: Congratulations Andrew....and to all the Aunt's and Uncle's out their!!! :)
Keep up the great work!... (read in full...)
How do women want to be treated, nice doesn't seem to work, or am I too nice.
Q. OK, Im starting to get the picture, My gf is seeing that im insecure, boyish emotionally and not allowing my normal, assertive nature to show in my relationship... How do I change the way I see myself in relationships. I need to show the strength ...
A. 11 October 2007: Wow...you sound like a wonderful man, a keeper! But, I have to agree with what Pepper said, maybe you two don't fit together and here is why. If she really loves you, she wouldn't keep breaking it off...and then on...what does tell you? No wonder ... (read in full...)
I feel so bad, I can't say goodbye, and can't stop crying.
Q. Every year, I have to go to America to visit aunties and uncles that live over there. I have a great time when I am with them as we are all very close, but when I have to come home, it breaks my heart knowing that I will be so far away from them ...
A. 10 October 2007: That is why when you are with them, you make the most of it and enjoy every minute you have with them. Take plenty of pictures and on your way home think about making a scrap book and use the pictures you took to place in it with special sayings to ... (read in full...)
How do women want to be treated, nice doesn't seem to work, or am I too nice.
Q. OK, Im starting to get the picture, My gf is seeing that im insecure, boyish emotionally and not allowing my normal, assertive nature to show in my relationship... How do I change the way I see myself in relationships. I need to show the strength ...
A. 10 October 2007: Honesty, trustworthiness, respect and of course, love. However, we do love a man with a sense of humor as well. Every woman is different, we are not all alike. Some women prefer a man who loves to show his affections while out on a date, some ... (read in full...)
What's the furthest you should go with a boy?
Q. Whats the furthest you shuld go with a boy? I mean, i like to make out with them but they always want me to go further, and im not even 15 yet. I dnt wanna giv them BJ or or toss them up, but this makje sme seem like a total virgin! Wat shuld I do? ...
A. 10 October 2007: Personally...I think you should be PROUD to be a virgin!!! How many other's can say that? There are more that aren't then are. Once you have sex, you can't be "revirginized". You are one of the few and what wonderful young man wouldn't love to ... (read in full...)
Will I ever find love again?
Q. will i ever find love again? will someone ever make me feel really special and want to stay with me forever? At the moment i feel like these things will never happen to me again and that i am destined to be alone, never to be married or to have kid...
A. 10 October 2007: Breakups are hard, no matter what the age. Only time will heal your pain and you do need it to get over him and so you don't rebound. You have plenty of time to meet the man of your dreams. PLENTY! Go out with all your girlfriends and have fun...do ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with him for the sake of the children, or not?
Q. Hi Please could somebody help??!! I have been married for 12 years and have 2 lovely children. I have been unhappy in my marriage for many years and reached breaking point a few months ago and told my husband I don't love him anymore and wan...
A. 10 October 2007: There are many things to think about here. It sounds as if the main reason you want to leave is because he places his family first above you. When people marry, they always say you marry the family to...he just took it to the extreme is what it ... (read in full...)
Do I talk to my man about my ex?
Q. I was in a marriage that my ex was having affairs.I think im still trying to deal with that. my ex wants to go get help and work on things. i have been dating a guy for about 9months now and my ex is upset that im seeing this man.He wants our fami...
A. 10 October 2007: I've known many people where they have been in your shoe's. I've known it where it works out and where it doesn't work out.
My thoughts on this is...that he left you. It didn't work with the other woman so he finds out your seeing someone ... (read in full...)
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